I am a 38 year old mother of two daughters, I am also a recoverying alcoholic
as is my signifcant other. I have really huge issues with insecurities about myself and relationships in general- I ended an abusive relationship of 14 years almost 2 years ago, when i met my know signifcant other. We are planning a wedding in june and now that the time is coming near i am over analyzing his behaviors and motive etc... I am on medication for anxiety and depression, however about once a month i get this overwhelming sense about myself, that i am not good enough, I contemplate why this man would want to marry me etc... I have heard about self sabatoging behaviors and am wondering if I am indirectly trying to sabatoge this new relationship? I get really insecure, and overwhelmed by thoughts that i am not worthy of another persons true affection, and belive that there must be other reason this person is with me. I have talked to another professional that just states that everything i am going through is normal considering my situation, however it has not helped me to get past this perpetual feeling of unworthiness. Is there hope that I can regain trust in men, and in myself? To what extent do i consider these normal and when do i cross the line into a obsession? if you have any suggestions i would be open on hearing anything, cause i am truely sick and tired of feeling this way. Thank you Julie
Thank you so much judy for sharing your thoughts with me. Right now we are involved with our church. Through our church we are supposed to be reading books, mine is called saving your marriage before it starts, this is my first marriage, and his book is called saving your second marriage before it starts they have corresponding workbooks and etc... also, we had to do an online test. I have completed my test, he has not. Also, i have began to read the book and have done three of the assignments, we are supposed to meet with pastor to review, however we both need to be on the same page, and he has not done his part. I remind him etc... he has assured me that this is not because he does not want to marry me he just has not had the time... Im sure that this perpetuates my insecurities in a subconsious level. Also, I am in therapy and the dr there states that this is all normal given my circumstances, yet he does not seem to give me answers on how to turn around my disgust within my heart about myself. I dont know perhaps i should find someone else. however i want to say that i do appreciate all your kind words and will take all into consideration. Thank you for taking time to answer. With respect, julie