self-harm how to deal with others respones
im a self-harmer im not proud of it but its some thing at the moment that helps me get through the really tough times. ive done it for about 6 months now when i feel that im going to die from all the pain that is in side of me. i told my partner about a couple of months ago because i felt that he should know and i hoped that by telling him he would help me to stop. He was very happy with the idea and did say that i could talk to him which i have tried i just find it hard to do at the moment, he also said that if i hurt myself again then he would leave me which was a shock. since then ive been able to resist the need to do it but now has things are getting harder it become harder to not do it.
This there any one that is or has self=harmed that would be able to offer advice,is it that i need to tell my partner in a better way or is there some thing that will help me with not doing it or can someone just help me to understand others mean responses when i tell them
claire
Hey Claire
May I be blunt? Are you a cutter? Is this the self harm you are talking about?
I do applaud you for reaching out and sharing this with people you care about. I think it is something very hard for people to hear. Do you think that your partner is scared over this and the only method he knows is to threaten to leave if you do it? What sort of response would you like from him and others? What helps you the most?
Are you in therapy at all? I really think an objective voice here could really help. Sometimes the people who love us just are not sure what to do.
Ultimately you need another method to get that release. Can you transform the self harm into something else to put all that energy into? Think about what other ways you can get what you need to get through the bad times.
I think this is going to take a lot of work as well as time. You may have to have many talks with your partner about what helps and what doesn't. Give him something to do to help you.
I am sorry you are going through this. It is so hard to break free of something which you begin to rely upon despite the harm it causes. I do understand.
Please do let us know how you are doing in the weeks to come. And thank you for your question.
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