Hello all, a brief description.  I met my girlfriend of 2 and half years and she was amazing to be around.  She was beautiful, smart, and had an irresistable "full of life" personality.  We were both life of the party types and it seemed like a natural fit.  We had great friends, we went out all the time, laughed all day, and could have the best time just doing nothing together.  Her entire family is on anti-depressants (grandparents, parents, brothers, cousins, nieces etc) but she seemed to be the one that was immune to the family depression.  Things were great for about a year.  We were a couple that people openly envied.  I was considering proposing after finalizing our move and the sale of my business, and then the depression started.  First, with panic attacks at the job she began to hate, and then full on depression all the time.  When, she finally sought help and was put on medication it only got worse, as she felt that she had fallen into her family's depression curse.  She has been on a variety of meds but none seem to be working. 

The last year and half have been miserable.  I do all the housework and cleaning, she will cook occassionally but only if I stand by her the entire time.  If I leave for any reason she may stop or only cook for herself (especially true if answer my cell phone which she hates at anytime.)  There are good days but they are few and far between.  When she comes home from work all she wants to do is watch TV.  She gets upset if I want to do anything else, especially get up to check my email or use the computer for any reason, I just have to sit there and watch countless TV reruns unless Im interested in a fight or her completely shutting down.  Sex went from nearly a daily occurence to a monthly one, and a sad monthly occurences at that.  I'm a people pleaser, to a fault, and have a tough time fighting back when I know its not really her and I hate fighting.  She says we need to talk more but she only about depressing things, which I know will lead to her shutting down.  If I bring up anything happy or optimistic, she says they aren't "real" feelings, and then we have a four hour conversation about how we never really talk.  (In her defense, I often do not mention how frustrated, angry, and unhappy her depression makes me even though it is a common occurence that I feel like that)  

My question is, has anybody (as the spouse or partner of a depressed person) had any good results seeking a therapist themself?  It came on gradually but I now find that I myself am getting depressed.  It quickly goes away and I get my old self back when I am apart from her, but I find myself depressed and sometimes sick feeling when we spend a lot of time together.  I thought maybe a therapist might help find a better way to cope.  I feel pretty trapped because I can't talk to any friends or family because they all just tell me "life is too short.  Time to leave."  I'm not ready to bail on the relationship cause this is the women I wanted to marry and I still love her, but I really do need help now cause my previously great life has turned to an unhappy and sometimes gruelling existence. 

Sorry, this turned into a venting session, while at the same time leaving out dozens of miserable stories as well.  Thank you for listening, sharing, and for your feedback.

Thank You,

C