Hi, Sara. Maybe you should talk to a psychologist about this. A lot of people can act like they're happy when they're around other people and I don't think that's uncommon. They find that the company of others can distract them from their pain. Only you know how you really feel inside and if you're feeling that life is a struggle every day, it's possible that you could be depressed. If you could even talk to your family doctor about this, you might get an opinion about it and maybe a referral to a psychologist - so talking to a psychologist to start with wouldn't be the worst thing you could do.
I hope you can find some peace and figure out what's going on. I wish you all the best. Please feel free to write in any time here.
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