Almost 2 years ago now, my husband of 13 years committed suicide.
Almost 2 years ago now, my husband of 13 years committed suicide. Since then, I have realized that not only do I not want to start over with trying to find someone and all of that, I don't know how to start over. I am 46 years old. At this point in my life, I thought that I would be planning for our retirement, not starting my life all over again. I have a 13 year old son, and my only thoughts have been to get him raised so I can give up. This was my third husband, and I just don't have the energy or the trust for that matter, to do this again. Any advice?
Hi, there - I'm so sorry you lost your husband like this. I'm sure it's not an easy thing to get over. Have you thought about the idea of NOT worrying about meeting another man or being in a relationship with one? You don't have to start over if you don't want to. Maybe you should focus on what YOU want to do for yourself, discover what you really want from your life. You have a son who will need you forever - not as much as he needs you now, but those boys, they somehow still need their moms to be there for them, no matter how old they are. Maybe three marriages are enough. Just do things you enjoy and if you happen to meet someone in the process, great.
I don't know if that was helpful to you or not, but I guess I'm just thinking of how I might feel in your situation. If my husband were to die tomorrow, I don't think I'd necessarily want to go through it all again - or at least work that hard at finding someone to go through it all with again. Just take things slowly, see what happens. I hope you are healing from the pain of your loss.
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tiredandhopeless
Friday, November 13, 2009 at 03:54 PM
Thank you for your advice. I have thought of this, but the thought of being REALLY old, and alone, you know my son will go off and make a life of his own, well now that is really depressing. Been trying to think of what I want to do from here on out as well. Over the course of my life I have held two sometimes three jobs at a time. So there isn't much that I want to do as far as careers go that haven't done already. Like to travel, but doing that alone kind of sucks to. Just really don't know what the heck to do now. Starting to heal though. Ups and downs, one day at a time. Anyway, thanks.