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Sunday, July 05, 2009 no quitter asks

Q: help me to help my wonderful man

i met a lovely man 12 weeks ago my mr wonderful two weeks ago after we had a great weekend away together out of tthe blue he emails me saying he doesnt want to see me again. wouldnt discuss it. after a few days i ring him to find him on the brink of suicide he wont talk to me or see me now but sends me the odd text message. he has only ever opened up to me in his life and thinks that has brought all these issues to the surface. he has been to the doctor and has medication but expects an immediate cure and it doesnt happen that way i want to understand and be there for him but he wont let me, yet when i do what he asks and goes away he falls apart. please help im really at my wits end as i have no idea what to do next and i don't want to walk away

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7/ 5/09 8:18am

Louise, I am so sorry to hear this, but depression is a complicated monster.  It is not something that you will be able to just jump in and fix, and I know that is very hard to hear, and probably not what you want to hear.  Patience is mainly what you are going to have to have.  Just being there is probably the best that you are going to be able to do.  If he is seeing a doctor then isis going to be up to he and the doc.  You contining to try and work your way in is only going to put pressure on him, not on purpose but it is pressure to him.  Just him knowing that you are there, you are that support that rock, does him good, like you would not believe.  He may not say it, but it does.  The doc and the meds are now going to have to have time to work their magic so just hang in there, the race is not given to the swift but to those who endure.  Hang in there Louise.  sherry/smomdukesKiss

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7/ 8/09 7:56pm

Walk away.  After 33 years living with a depressed person and waiting and hoping that he would get better- he hasn't. I always believed that I could make him happy, but now I am struggling to stay out of the black hole. 

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