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Thursday, March 05, 2009 Olia, Community Member, asks

Q: I stay home in bed almost 4/5 of the day, do not want to go outside or see people, no motivation.

I stay in bed 4/5 of the day, I can't sleep at night, I don't feel like going outside, so I see the real world and real people, I have a lot to deal with, but I do not want to do anything, stay home, separated from everything. Help me.How can I change that, find motivation to do things?
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Answers (5)
Paul, Community Member
3/ 6/09 2:28pm

You can start by reading this two part series by Merely Me, a writer here.

Part One Deals with your mood and how it is affecting your motivation.

Part Two Suggests how to get motivated and moving.


 Can you talk to your doctor to rule out certain problems that may be affecting your sleep? Or a loved one who can help you begin finding assistance, making an appointment for you, getting you there. You didn't say if you were being treated, are you willing to talk with a therapist or take antidepressants, if needed?


There are many suggestions in that two part series which you can use to start.

Sleep is a big problem in depression, ask your doctor for help or there are over the counter supplements you can try. Some information on sleep difficulty are here, and here at a blogger's site called Health Psych who was recently interviewed by Merely Me at Health Central's MS site.

watsthematerwithme, Community Member
3/27/09 6:25am

hey   i know how this feels and im sure plenty of other ppl here agree - sometimes u jut gotta make urself do things u dont want to do - i know its hard   really i do  - if u wanna drop me a message anytime   i be happy to chat with ya  -  

motivation is really hard to get going  especially if ur taking the drugs  but   u just have to say   ok  am i going to be miserable home in bed avoiding everything or can i  make a difference   start with small changes  - how about 15 minutes outside in the sun  or a sunny spot  and read a book magazine  listyen to music   - i garee with the other anwereer read merley mes  thibgs  see if that can inspire u  


goodluck   hope ur feeling better soon  

watsthematerwithme, Community Member
3/27/09 6:28am

i just wanted to add that if ur staying in bed all day  then u wont want to sleep at night its a viscious cycle -  try a little walk   just try  little achievable things  -  just say  today im going to have a shower and walk in the yard for 5 minutes and each day set urself a little tasks


have u sen the doctor and discussed this whith them  -  ok  goodluck

livininbed, Community Member
6/ 9/09 1:01am

I find it very unhelpful when I tell someone, "I can't get motivated. I feel like a weight is holding me down and I can't get motivated to do anything" and they answer something like, "make yourself get up and do something!"  Yeah, if I could make myself get up and do something, I wouldn't have a problem and I wouldn't be coming to you for answers."  I actually had a therapist tell me that the way to get motivated to cook meals for myself is to find some easy recipes and to cook them.  DUH. I wanted to scream at her and tell her that putting a frozen dinner in the microwave was too much cooking for me.  Aargh. 

designing42day, Community Member
1/18/11 5:58pm

Oh my God I am so in tune with what you wrote about finding it very unhelpful to tell someone "I can't get motivated" only to have them say "Well, just get up and do something" to parrot your term " DUHHHHHH  How is it that people who don't deal with this difficulty just assume it is that easy?  Why on Gods green earth would ANY of us CHOOSE to stay in bed, cry, eat, & dwell on all crap past and present?  I know there must be a certain amount of self motivation, but what do you do when you are faced with the choice of  "Am I motivated enough to stop crying &  get up out of this

bed or would I just prefer to die here?"  This is a no brainer for most people, but for some of us lying there, closing our eyes & not caring if they ever open again, is an honest delima. 

Martha Himber, Community Member
3/26/11 7:48pm

I do this, too.  I have a love/hate relationship with it.  The trouble is, I really like doing it, even though I know it's bad.  I'm married to a lovely man, and I try to hide the fact that most days I stay in bed until just before he gets home.


If I could, I'd assume a normal schedule.  In fact, at night, when I go to bed, I vow to do just that.  But when I wake up, I always lie there for hours, knowing exactly what I'm doing.


Sometimes I don't leave the condo for weeks at a time.  Or if I do go out it's only for one day out of several weeks.  Oddly, when I DO rouse myself enough to go out because I MUST, I always enjoy myself.


I'm not really miserable.  In fact, most of the time, I'm pretty much okay--if it weren't for the guilt.

tomas, Community Member
11/27/11 11:57am

really sorry to hear..but then...

Ladybug 49, Community Member
6/ 9/14 4:50pm

Sounds like depression. Have you GP do a CBC just to make sure you are not lacking in vitamins and minerals. If you are diagnosed with depression, there are good medications to treat it.

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By Olia, Community Member— Last Modified: 06/09/14, First Published: 03/05/09