Hi everybody took a step in meeting a new person.Is it normal to feel like I climbed a mountain?
Hi everybody I have been suffering from anxiety and depression for a long time.As I have discussed on here before my goal is to get out and meet new people.Up until now I have been by myself and just associated with my family.Today I went to a coffee shop to meet a person to exercise with who I met on the internet.I almost cancelled the meeting but said no I am going to do this.We met and I was pretty calm and it turned out good.We will start next week working out.When I got home I felt like I had run a marathon.My anxiety did not raise its ugly head until I came home.Has anybody had this happen to them when meeting new people?I am determined to follow through instead of running away.Hopefully I can continue to move ahead.This seems like it was a big step for me.Any comments or advice would be helpful.THANKYOU FOR YOUR HELP.
Good for you, Hope! Yes, I think for many people it's normal to feel like this is a big deal - because it is. I'm an introvert and not normally real sociable with people I don't know, but I have found, too, that on most occasions when I'm nervous about meeting someone new, it turns out to be fine. They're maybe just as nervous as you are. Just yesterday I was at a luncheon for a bunch of volunteers, most of whom I don't know, but I ended up sitting across from a delightful woman that I'm looking forward to seeing at another meeting before too long. I'm so glad you could bring yourself to follow through with this. It might still be hard for a while, but I think every time you do it, it helps bite the head off that anxiety a little more.
- Thank you for your input
- Ranked Helpful (3)
- Report Abuse
Hope
Friday, September 25, 2009 at 02:25 PM
Judy
Friday, September 25, 2009 at 05:53 PM
I think that's a really good way to go about it - not putting all your eggs in one basket. I've learned that, too. Plus, it's nice to have a variety of different friends who all enrich our lives differently. And, when you get older like me, you start thinking you'd better make a few younger friends so if your older ones start dying off, you'll have some left! 
Hope you have a great week-end!
Hope
Saturday, September 26, 2009 at 10:22 AM
Thankyou for your support.I have learned from the past that when you are not used to meeting new people and you meet someone you like if things do not work out it really sets you back.So I am trying to put less pressure on myself when I go to meet someone. I used to have the mindset that if it did not work out it was my fault.I now realize sometimes it is nobodys fault that is the way life works.You just have to keep trying.Have a good one.
Hi Hope,
Well done you! Great news. I remember once being told "everyone seems normal until you get to know them" so if things don't work out don't feel too bad about it. Just go get another friend instead.
I don't know all the symptoms you experienced when coming home after meeting the new person. However, just a pointer...sometimes nervous anticipatory excitement can feel a lot like anxiety...and if you are used to feeling anxious it can sometimes be mistaken for an anxiety build up and then before you know it you've turned it into a full blown panic attack when all along it was just saying WOW...I'm really excited! That feature can also be used when you do feel anxious, by thinking about the event ahead as a challenge...turning that anxiety into a feeling of challenge so that you get the anticipatory excitement instead of panic. We don't know what to do when we panic... but all performance coaches know what to do if it's a challenge...recap on your skills, gain insight into any you need to improve and learn some more skills, rehearse the tasks ahead in your mind are prepared.
-
- Ranked Helpful (2)
- Report Abuse
Hope
Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 03:16 PM
Hi I no that as the time came near to meet the new person I started to get anxious.I almost cancelled the meeting but resisted that urge.It was a good meeting but like you said when I got home I was excited and thought it was anxiety.In the past when I have met people and it did not work out I always blamed myself.The trick for me is not to cancel meeting new people or trying new things.This is a old habit.I must challenge myself not to give up or cancel.Thankyou for your reply
Thankyou for your support.I had to kind of take it easy after meeting the new person but feel that with time it will get better.My goal is to meet a variety of people and not put my eggs all in one basket.That way if one does not work out maybe another will.THANKYOU FOR ALL YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT