About 2 years ago my husband and I decided it was time to have another child. Our first child was unplanned and I was very young. We tried for about 6 months and then I found out that I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrom). I am not able to have children anymore, unless fertility drugs are used, which we cannot afford.

Since then I have gained about 50 pounds. I feel so worthless. I don't understand why. I am married, have a beautiful daughter, we own our own home, we both have good careers, and I am only 25. But I still can't be happy. I dred getting out of bed. I have no energy. My house is not as clean as it should be. My husband tells me all of the time that he loves me and that I am beautiful, but deep down inside I cringe everytime he says it. I feel like he is just saying it because he feels he has to.

I should be happy. I should be having fun. I can't. I don't like going out because I am afraid that we will run into someone that we know and I don't want to be seen.

Life is not guaranteed and I feel like maybe if mine was taken (which I would never do myself) that my family would be better off.

I can't tell if I am just lazy or if I really have a problem. My mom keeps asking me if something is wrong, but I always tell her it's fine. I have always been a bubbly person and feel that I can't let anyone know that something is not right. I don't even know who to talk to about this.