My 15 Yr. Old daughter is a freshman this year. Over the summer 2 people she thought were close friends bashed her using facebook. She allowed me and her father to see what was written. It was pretty harsh. The children's parents thought it was nothing. We spent the summer trying to help her get over her first real betrayal. It didn't work. As she started high school she came face to face with the girls in class and at lunch time. When she finally confronted them with what they had done they just laughed at her. She spoke with the school counselor and had her lunch switched, but she is still seeing them in one of her classes and through out the school. Since it is her favorite class she doesn't want to switch that also. Since they were once friends they do share a circle of friends in common. The two are always saying hateful things about her in earshot to others. She is now to the point that she is so stressed that she makes herself physically ill with stomach pains, nausea and headaches. Because of this she has missed so many days of school that if she really does get sick she could end up having to redo her freshman first semester even though she is a straight A student.
We have talked and talked and the doctors treat her symptoms, but she just can't let go of what the girls' did to her. I don't know how to help. She is the most amazing intelligent child destined for an amazing future, but she is throwing it all away by giving these girls power to break her down.
Thank you for your advice and support. She made it back to school the last two days. It was not the easiest for her, when she got to the class she shares with the girls' in question, the teacher had changed the seating arrangement and put them side by side. She wasn't happy, but she made it through. She was later surprised by her coach who presented her with a varsity letter that she earned in sports. She was the only freshman to letter. All her team went out for dinner. She gets along best with the older girls and they really help her to see the stupidity of the younger ones that did her wrong. I wish the team was together all year long. It is her best medicine. I am sure that this will give her a high for a little while. Her doctor says alot of her problem is rooted in the fact that she is an only child and the bonds she make are much stronger and so the sense of loss and betrayal is stronger. We all agree that medication is not the answer to her anxiety. We have to find a way to teach her to cope. She has had very little loss. I'm not sure how to teach her...