How do you do what you know has to been done and be OK with it? I am 2 yrs into my current state and I am getting tired.
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Q: I have to put my Mom in a nursing home? How do I justify it?
Answers (2)
4/19/09 9:03pm
Hi Connie
This is a particularly tough circumstance. I know because my mother is in a personal care home. I think when you just aren't able to care for your loved one in the way that they need cared for then this is an option you have to begin leaning towards. Sometimes you just cannot physically or emotionally do it anymore as much as you love the person.
There is guilt for sure. But you can still care for and love your mother even if your mom is in a nursing home. It isn't this all or nothing thing where you just leave and never see her again.
It is a really hard decision and one that I do not envy.
I want to tell you that we have a caregiver site on Health Central which you find right here.
I am so sorry you are in this position. And I know you must be very weary.
Please let us know how things evolve with your situation. I will be thinking of you.
4/21/09 11:03am
Connie,
I can empathize with you having been in the same situation.
Sit down with a pad of paper and a pen. Try to look at the situation from the outside, as if she were not your mother. List the reasons she can't care for herself. Then list the pros and cons of you taking care of her yourself.
That's what I did several years ago when my mother got to the point of having to have around the clock care. She couldn't stay in her own apartment without a full-time caretaker with her, and that was beyond her finances and mine. I am not physically ale to care for her, and there are times I have to travel.
Once everything was listed on paper, it was obvious that a nursing home was the best choice for everyone.
I still have pangs of guilt about it, but I know it was the right decision.
Teri
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By ConnieR— Last Modified: 11/22/10, First Published: 04/19/09
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