If you feel you are in danger, please call 911 immediately and get medical help. I don't think anyone here at the moment can answer your questions about the drugs.
I know this isn't a 24/7 staffed help line, here at Health Central, not a crisis hotline, but they have provided phone numbers in the past for places you can call and just talk, any day, any time. People there are willing and able to talk to you about all of these issues, and maybe help point you towards a way to get through this.
Are you seeing a therapist or can you get in touch with your local mental health center for some ideas? Look in the phone book. Do you have someone who trust to turn to for support?
I'll put the phone numbers here for you. I know people here have called and have been helped before. It won't cost you anything and you don't need to say who you are, nor do you have to be threatening harm to yourself, I don't think you are.
You're just like many of us, and wanting to talk. If you ever need help right away you can call 911. But try one of these, or both, if you need to.
To check if there are some support groups in your area you can try checking the online organizations:
I know you are overwhelmed, and there are so many nice people here who will try to help here too, with time. Please write back and let us know you are safe.
Like I said, this isn't a staffed crisis center, there are usually just other members. You will be getting other answers, but it might take a while.