Hi -

No one here can tell you for sure if you have depression - you should, though, talk to your doctor about your feelings and thoughts about yourself. You could be depressed in the ordinary sense, that is feel very low in mood, without having an illness that could be diagnosed as one of the forms of depression.

The main criteria used to decide if you're going through an episode of major depression start with a very deep low mood or a blunting of all feeling, an inability to have fun or feel pleasure in anything. Loss of self-esteem, no energy or motivation, changes in appetite or sleep, mental confusion and suicidal thinking are some of the others. You don't have to have all of these symptoms. The key thing is whether or not they are disrupting your life, interfering with relationships and work, etc in a serious way.

So you should see your doctor to discuss all this - especially since this has been going on for a few years. In the US doctors have become more sensitive to the seriousness of depression, but I don't know if they are where you're living (France?).

I hope you can feel better soon.

John