Ty,   Not good.  It's been 14 months since this all began when she said she needed "space" and was irritated with everything in her life.  Then month by month it progressed to her not liking me and now hating me.  Can't figure how this could happen after 25 years.  It literally happened over a span of 4 months.   She is currently looking at houses for herself so she can then divorce me.  The divorce has to come after the home purchase so we can qualify for the 2nd mortgage using my salary.  I refuse to initiate a divorce and I leave it all up to her.  I have also refused to leave the house.  I believe strongly that I have to remain the stable one and stay in the only home the kids have ever known.  To me, that is non-negotiable.  When she gets angry she talks about the 2nd "crappy" house she will have to live in, but I have learned not to comment when she tries to pin all her negative feelings on me.   She has actually stated that I have ruined her life.  She is very project based these days, and looking for the house is her new project.  Last night she stated she is "tired of all of us", this including the kids.   I fully realize that unless she wakes up and sees that her anger levels, despair, and all the other negative emotions are not cause by me (although maybe they are, she is pretty convincing) and gets help, there is absolutely nothing I can do.   If you have any advice or words I'd appreciate it.   Thanks, Jerry