The full story could take 10,000 words but I'll try to cut to the chase.  I have a beautiful wife of less than 2 years in the throngs of a deep depression.  She has every risk factor, every stressor, every symptom.  We were living with her parents in a 2 family home.  After 10-months to 12 months of bliss, things started to go down hill, but not all at once.  She started giving me no credit for anything good, poured on the blame for the bad.  In one or two arguments she even accused me of things that never happened, and when I called her on it, she had to agree.  Almost hallucinatory.  For the most part we were having some problems that I thought were part of the normal give/take, plus her developing depression.  Plus I was drinking too much for her likeing (for fun, in walking distance, not abusive to her one iota), but we never sat down and really talked about it, I'd just get the evil eye or cold shoulder the next morning and all would be ok, or so I thought.  For months I have seen that she is depressed, said as much to her, but foolishly, did not do any of the right things to encourage treatment.    After a recent drinking episode (I crashed elsewhere, my unsold house to be exact), she threw me out of the house and walled herself in.  She has an overbearing father and a depressed mother (who likely taught my wife how to be depressed) living downstairs that are up her ass all the time, a child with Aspbergers, her unemployment just ran out, she's starting to get hot flashes.  There's more, believe me.  I love this beautiful girl with all my heart.  I think she's been planning this for months, just waiting for her anger grow more and to collide with a decent excuse.  Well, I gave her the excuse.  She's been talking for months with a person she believes is good for her but who is biploar and who only makes matters worse, suggesting that the notion of depression is insulting. They ruminate on everything bad.  She's also egging her on to figure things out on her own.  I'm totally shut out, only one terse phone conversation in a week that seems like it's been a year.   I have incredible odds against me.  I don't care what it takes, I'll do it and my wife knows it.  I think that by throwing me out, she believes all of her problems and bad feelings go away too.  I am most desperate for help.  I know all of the shouldas.  What to do now, how do I get through, just get to the point where she will communicate?