Hi all,  I am answering due to my having lived with my ex-wife for 20 years of manic-depression. I like many was ignorant for 15 plus years then in denial then finally getting my head on strait and dealing with it. My ex had bouts of depression where she would not work, not eat, curl up in a fetal position and not communicate. She would excessively smoke and drink, have multiple affairs and on and on. Unfortunately I tried the "loving her back to health" trip (WRONG!!!) and she ruined us financially twice, the second time we lost our home, vehicles and everything else besides. Our children suffered greatly as she influenced them in horrible ways and confused them even more. MY PROBLEM was that I did not take charge due to fear of divorce ( THE BEST THING THAT EVER CAME FROM HER DEPRESSION !!!!) She was diagnosed by 5 doctors and still denied that "SHE" was the problem and of course "I" caused it all and even told all the children (age 3-19) that I had forced her to have all the affairs and she had to party and such because I had "hurt her" so badly. Now I am a very mellow person by nature but after she had me evicted, divorced me, left me with $40 and my vehicle and clothes with nowhere to live, guess what! I had a revelation that I had been a dumb-ass for putting up with all this for so long and that not only was I being a neglegent father but a bad husband for allowing this to go on so long. Now understand I beleive that you promise in sickness and in health BUT! when someone is like a tornado going around destroying lives YOU MUST TAKE POWERFUL ACTION! If your spouse will not get help or take their meds correctly (like none and then lots etc.) then DO SOMETHING! I wish I had much sooner. I did get custody of my children back and life is getting back to my idea of normal but she still messes with the children's minds and I truly wish I had not married her ever. The moral of my story is "If someone refuses treatment and is destroying lives then deal with it as necessary" you can not save them from themselves. As the judge said at our divorce hearing "it is not illegal for her to refuse treatment and she hasn't killed anybody".