I have a similar story to many above and am glad to see how typical so much of it is. Thanks to everyone for writing in. My wife of ten years became cold between having our first and second child a year ago. She started accusing me of making her sad and feeling unloved. At first I just tried to be more affectionate thrilled that she had said she wanted to be loved. Her accusations against me only became more aggressive until we eventually went to a marriage counsellor. For a couple of months it was decided week after week that I could take on even more of the work in the house and with the kids in order to give her space to deal with a depression she would not fully admit to. I resented feeling punished for her own problem but ended up doing the work and staying as pleasant as possible for her. She eventually admitted to having a fling with a work buddy and has since been more angry with me then ever, out of guilt I think. I vent with friends and try be as loving toward her as possible without crowding her. She's near to being convinced to take meds but I'm not sure she will. The big problem for me is that I can't imagine her loving me again and I can't leave my kids to suffer her moods without me. I'm the one on tranquilisers now and they help but from what I've read I think I need to get a lawyer and look to as amicable a divorce as possible. If anyone has experienced these things and found a safe and happy outcome please let me know. I'm looking for excuses to stay hopeful as I've found it impossible to stop loving her because I know the malicious stuff is not the real person I married. We've been together for a third of our lives.