Jay, I just happened to catch your comment and read all of these, back to early 2009.  I don't want to write an epistle, but want to say that I think you did nothing wrong here - I think sometimes relationships get irretrievably broken and you did what you thought was the safest for everyone.  It's sad to hear about so many being resistant to therapy or to even looking at themselves, but I believe that the younger you are, the more difficult it is because you haven't gained the perspective that comes with age and experience.  One person here said his wife didn't have the stresses of an outside job, but perhaps her being home all the time with the kids and household responsibilities made a big contribution to her depression - she may have felt like she was trapped.  I know that I would have been a terrible stay-at-home mother because it wasn't enough intellectual stimulation for me.  I have lived with depression for most of my life but have been getting help for many, many years, both therapy and medication, as well as couples therapy.  I found myself hating my husband, but we kept at it and things are much better today.   On the other hand, I have a son who is going through his second divorce, this time with a little boy in the picture.  He has had depression for most of his life, too, but only treats it sporadically.  His wife has a number of problems, including high anxiety, but when it got to the point where they needed couples therapy, they saw HER therapist and, of course, my son was going to feel like he was ganged up on.  She eventually left him more than a year ago (they share custody of my grandson) because of his depression and recently decided she wanted him back, but now he's too angry and hurt to even consider it.  So, in the meantime, they are filing for bankruptcy, he's paying a ton of child support and she's still asking for money.   I do think the welfare of the child has to be the first consideration and I don't believe you necessarily have to have endless patience, especially if the depressed person won't get help.  But it might be a good idea to get help for yourself.  The other thing is, a relationship consists of two people and while the depression may be a huge part of the problem, there are probably things going on that exacerbate it which might possibly be something the other spouse can be aware of and try to modify.   I feel for you, not being able to see your child as often as you'd like.  Is this something that the court is dictating, or is it because of your work schedule?  Your parents will have to adjust to your divorce, they don't have much choice, but the important thing is that they avoid bad-mouthing anyone, especially as your child gets older.  I try to be as non-judgmental as I can with my daughter-in-law because she IS the mother of my grandson.  I take care of him one day a week to help out with expenses, as well as some other times, and he has another set of grandparents who love him dearly, so he has a lot of positive energy flowing around him, at least.   Sorry to go on so long, but I just wanted to support you in your decision, it sounds like you did the right thing.  I hope you can move on and live a good life.  You can't save your wife, so at least save yourself.  And prayer is good, but sometimes the answers we get aren't what we expect!  Take care.