how does oneself get past the embodiedment of the despair. Not wanting to kill oneself, just not wanting to live. please tell me where to begin when sleep never comes and all i want is to feel some normal, or my normal. There is no light at the end of the tunnel, i dont even want happiness just contentment. To take joy in small things like paying bills and being able to buy my 13 year old daughter the shoes she wanted. to look at her and be filled with "i've done good on my own". Just tell me where to start, please
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Q: how does one start overcomming the despair.
Answers (1)
2/ 8/11 12:57pm
Hi, there. I think I understand how you're feeling. Where you begin is with either your family doctor or with a psychological evaluation. If you live in the US, your county should have a mental health services department and can give you information on where to go. If you have insurance, they should be able to give you names of providers that they cover. If you don't have insurance, we can get you some information on how to get help without it, but I know that county mental health clinics usually charge fees based on ability to pay.
If it would help, you could talk to us here about what's going on in your life that has led you to feel such despair. Most of us have been there at one time or another and have found medication and/or therapy to be the way out of it. Also, staying connected with friends and family can help but I know that's often difficult when you're feeling so low.
Please reach out for help; sometimes it takes a little while to find the right kind, but it's there. I hope you'll let us know if you are able to find it and if you need more information to find it. Hang in there - it CAN get better, and usually does. Feelings are temporary and there is always hope that tomorrow will be a little better, in the meantime. Take care.
3/ 1/11 9:48am
Hi again. I just want to comment about your statement that feelings serve no real purpose, they just cloud judgment. If you manage to numb yourself so that you feel nothing, you will feel NOTHING - not joy, not love, not compassion, nothing. That's the problem with being numb - you don't get to choose which emotions you don't feel. When you work through your feelings, they ebb and flow naturally, you don't get stuck in any one emotion. I'm telling you this as a person who was numb most of my life and it hurt plenty to start thawing out, but it helped me feel so much better by myself. I'd always thought that being numb made me some kind of unfeeling monster. There are still times when I go to that place, but something can usually jar me out of it.
Also, don't worry about getting a "diagnosis." You have to have one to get insurance to cover your treatment, but you would be surprised how many people you don't know about who have a "diagnosis." Nobody has to know if you don't want them to and it doesn't say a thing about your moral character. If you had a diagnosis of cancer, you would probably be very eager to find treatment and increase your chance of survival. Dealing with depression isn't much different, really - it can kill you and it can rob you of a life even while living. I'm glad you're considering getting help.
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By concerned 1— Last Modified: 03/01/11, First Published: 02/08/11
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thank you for compassion and not just poopooing me. The problems with seeing someone like a therapist is I am scaredof having some diagnosis, when I just want to be a normal person with normal feelings. iam not so ignorant to believe all people have the feeling of just wanting to cease from existng. What I really wish that someone could just teach me not to feel at all. Feelings serve no real purpose, they cloud judgement, like love, whenin what people efer to as love they cant sa past that or anger,anger causes humans to do and say things that would never past their lips, then they think an apology will fix it. my unwanted feeling happens to all consuming, but I am sure you are right about there being some help availible, again thanks for your time, I will takeyour advice into consideratin, I will do anything to get back my contentment and enjoy my daughter befor she gives up on me.