Q: My boyfriend has been depressed since february, he became more and more distant to me and eventually told me he didnt 'feel anything' for me anymore. will this change when he recovers from depression?
Hi, Gini. I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this and then you have a birthday coming up on top of it. You seem to really understand what's happening with him and I hope you're continuing with treatment for your own depression. Is your boyfriend getting any treatment? If he isn't, there's really no telling what might happen and actually, even if he is, there are no guarantees that he'll be the person he was before. Life changes us, depression or no depression, and we all grow, hopefully, and change. Something that might help down the road, should you get back together, is couples therapy. I hope you're at least seeing a therapist yourself.
In the meantime, don't stop living your life. You have to take care of yourself and it would be a shame to put your life on hold, waiting around to see if your boyfriend will change his mind. Even if he doesn't, things will get better eventually and you won't feel this terrible forever. I do wish you all the best and thank you for visiting our site. We are here for support if you need it.
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Thanks so much for your quick response and helpful advice. I am continuing with my own treatment and my ex-boyfriend is taking medication, i have also urged him to seek counselling through the university but it is difficult. His mum believes that depression can be overcome with simple routine, sleep and healthy eating..i know these things help but they clearly aren't enough but it is difficult to encourage alternate methods because he is very influenced by and defencive of his mum and sees it as a criticism to her or as some kind of threat to her if i suggest anything different.
I do see that things will get better, even if we don't get back together and i know that this feeling is just part of a process which alot of people go through. Im mostly struggling with the lack of clarity in his actions compared to what he actually says and also the desire to be there to help him as much as i can when actually he doesnt want me around. its difficult to accept that im not needed or wanted anymore, especially now as i know he has started missing his tablets alot and also has slipped into the frame of mind that depression is a weakness. I thought that perhaps i should talk to someone else close to him or maybe a tutor but its not my place to interfere anymore and i dont want to do further damage to our relationship and make him even less likely to accept my help.