hi Britt, it's kinda strange to find your question, I just googled two questions of my own. The first being "is there anyone out there who can hear me", and I came up with nothing. The second on was "is there anyone out there who can help me", and I found your question.
I'm well educated and I have many talents, but in many ways I find myself like you alone for strange reasons. I'm not so sure why we leave so many presious people like yourself without contact or friendship. Your life style could be a point to consider but it wouldn't be fair for me to discuss such an issues seeing i'm an x-gay person. But I would like to offer some help and insight if I can from another angle.
In many ways we are gifted, diverse if you understand what I mean. We're all hear for a purpose. When ever we find ourself and our giftings we are usally satisfied and fullfilled. It's when we get away from our purpose and began to engage in things we were not ment for is where emptiness creeps in.
Like minded people usually gather around what interest them or what kinda makes them tick if you know what i mean. It's a natural causation of fellowship that occurs when your where you belong.
Peolpe that love water usually find others around or near large bodies of water to fish or to surfer or what ever water sports suits them. It's the same thing with the mulitple exciting things this world has to offer.
I know this much not even knowing you at all, an that is you have something inside of you that is awesome some special talent that only you can perform. The world will be lacking in something if you never find that place or should i say your place in this world.
Many write books on how to find this place but the easiest answer is so simple because it's there right there within you. It's inate because it comes with the package. Finding it can be a life's journey because it's often covered up with bad choices and dissisions. Those that find it early in life are the blessed one's. It's something you might consider.
Your childhood memories of what you loved the most and what excited you as a child is a great and awesome place to start.
If you ever find it, you will find life. Your energy will move to great levels and your mind will sharpen. It's strange just like an air plane. It moves slow on the ground but when it gets enough speed and gets into the air nothing can catch it or stop it. It flies. People will come from everywhere because your apart of something great.
We were never suppose to be alone and disconnected. We were always made to be apart of something special. If you want that Joy accept and enjoy your purpose the funny thing about it is. It's what makes you happiest of all. For your reason for living brings real Life.
In closing I will explain life by explaining the opposite. Death means separation. When death occurs it brings about a division. A departing from something. In case of the body. The spirit is separated from the body. Or the death that occured between man and God. It's was seperation. Same thing with the death of a friendship. Seperation.
So Life is the rejoining or the co-existing of something. I hope you understand. I knew in talking to you I would answer my own question and I have my answer.
I must go back to my first love. There I will find peace and fellowship. My reason for being here in the first place. And to answer your question lol. It's the love of song and music that's why I'm here. I'm more than just a man of great knowlegde I'm a man of song and worship. When I'm away from it I dry up when I'm there I'm alive.
Ending, I know and believe you will live or you would not have asked the question. so I'm not afraid of saying such things. The great news is, is that you still have the power to choose. Lift your eyes and see the stars and live.
Depression only has it's strenght when your eyes are on the wrong thing, When you change your view everything else will follow. Wishing you the best always Joshua.