hi Britt, it's kinda strange to find your question,  I just googled two questions of my own.  The first being "is there anyone out there who can hear me", and I came up with nothing. The second on was "is there anyone out there who can help me", and I found your question. 

I'm well educated and I have many talents, but in many ways I find myself like you alone for strange reasons.  I'm not so sure why we leave so many presious people like yourself without contact or friendship.  Your life style could be a point to consider but it wouldn't be fair for me to discuss such an issues seeing i'm an x-gay person.  But I would like to offer some help and insight if I can from another angle.

In many ways we are gifted, diverse if you understand what I mean.  We're all hear for a purpose.   When ever we find ourself and our giftings we are usally satisfied and fullfilled.  It's when we get away from our purpose and began to engage in things we were not ment for is where emptiness creeps in.

Like minded people usually gather around what interest them or what kinda makes them tick if you know what i mean.  It's a natural causation of fellowship that occurs when your where you belong. 

Peolpe that love water usually find others around or near large bodies of water to fish or to surfer or what ever water sports suits them.  It's the same thing with the mulitple exciting things this world has to offer.

I know this much not even knowing you at all, an that is you have something inside of you that is awesome some special talent that only you can perform.  The world will be lacking in something if you never find that place or should i say your place in this world. 

Many write books on how to find this place but the easiest answer is so simple because it's there right there within you.  It's inate because it comes with the package.  Finding it can be a life's journey because it's often covered up with bad choices and dissisions.  Those that find it early in life are the blessed one's.  It's something you might consider. 

Your childhood memories of what you loved the most and what excited you as a child is a great and awesome place to start. 

If you ever find it,  you will find life.  Your energy will move to great levels and your mind will sharpen.  It's strange just like an air plane.  It moves slow on the ground but when it gets enough speed and gets into the air nothing can catch it or stop it.  It flies.  People will come from everywhere because your apart of something great.

We were never suppose to be alone and disconnected.  We were always made to be apart of something special.   If you want that Joy accept and enjoy your purpose the funny thing about it is.  It's what makes you happiest of all.  For your reason for living brings real Life. 

In closing I will explain life by explaining the opposite.  Death means separation.  When death occurs it brings about a division.  A departing from something.  In case of the body.  The spirit is separated from the body.  Or the death that occured between man and God.  It's was seperation.  Same thing with the death of a friendship.  Seperation.

So Life is the rejoining or the co-existing of something.  I hope you understand.  I knew in talking to you I would answer my own question and I have my answer. 

I must go back to my first love. There I will find peace and fellowship.  My reason for being here in the first place.  And to answer your question lol.  It's the love of song and music that's why I'm here.  I'm more than just a man of great knowlegde I'm a man of song and worship. When I'm away from it I dry up when I'm there I'm alive.

Ending,  I know and believe you will live or you would not have asked the question. so I'm not afraid of saying such things.  The great news is, is that you still have the power to choose.  Lift your eyes and see the stars and live. 

Depression only has it's strenght when your eyes are on the wrong thing,  When you change your view everything else will follow. Wishing you the best always Joshua.

aka hopeboy.

Stephanie

9/29/10 11:34pm

Thank you so much for your answer I actually had an Ah Ha moment I have only read half of your message as I want it to sink in, my name is stephanie and I think I oragionally wrote the question too.  Thank you from another angle

its all in the mind but its easier to say then done. I've been struggling with this since i was about 12-13 (cant remember) but it is hard to get over. there is an easier way to it ''medication''. but y feel something u really dnt feel inside. im 23 and deal with this on not a regular basis but somewhat it comes it goes u ever wanna talk bout it aim screename is thenumber1sinner

heey i kno wat ur talking about i feel the same way... im 23 and i swear i dont feel like it.. im constantly feeling like crap everytime i see a group of girls  laughing and having fun..i've never really been out like that.. never really been to a real club.. just high school bashes... i feel worthless at times and like u.. im very attractive yet i still can't figure out y em i feeling this way... i use to be the shit back in high school always wit the pretty girls always had friends to call always in the studio cuz i did music.. always just chillin.. but then life just changed once i got pregnant i kinda was ashame.. cuz i had my life all planned out.. i was suppose to be in college somewhere... i was suppose to already be signed to a record label.. i was suppose to be driving to a club wit my girlz.. i was suppose to be everything no one eva was in my family.. insted i feel like in reading that page again.. this is the story of my life i wake up go to work.. come back home to my boyfriend my daughters father who is not currently working.. im paying for everything.. on top of that im still trying to write music from time to time.. but im worried im not putting enough attention to it..  haa ttheres more but theres half of my story.

I think there's a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Some people are always on the go but feel lonely inside. Other's spend a lot of time alone but are somewhat content within. Which category would you identify yourself with Britt?

I'm in my thirties, with 3 kids. I have quite a lot of people around me, friends, family etc. However, deep down, I still get those times where I feel completely alone in this world. I think bouts of loneliness are a part of life and finding ways to deal with those moments can make a huge difference on the intensity and duration of this awful feeling.

I broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago. We had a really close relationship even though it was long distance.  We were very connected spiritually and even though we were miles apart, his presence in my life filled all those lonely moments. It is very easy to become dependent on a person who gives you that 'feel-good' feeling but the danger about that is that in the event where they are no longer around, for whatever reason, the realisation that you're alone once again can prove overwhelming, not to mention scary. For the past month since our break-up, I have done a lot of self analysing. I have really tried to dig deep into why I feel lonely like I do at certain times. I haven't quite got the answer/s yet but, I have changed my approach to how I deal with those times.

I have come to realise that the one thing I cannot do is to depend on someone else to fill the... void, if you like. I think it all has to come from within, first and foremost. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that interacting with other's and participating in certain activities aren't great ways of keeping yourself occupied but sometimes, they become more like distractions, once over with, the loneliness returns. Going back to what I said at the beginning, if you are somewhat content but spend a lot of time alone, then activities etc will definitely be your answer. However, if you feel lonely from within, please be careful not to turn to distractions because distractions, although good in their own way and very necessary at particular times, are not (in my opinion) as reliable as having a solid grounding from within because you can always rely on you. YOU are always with YOU, no one else is. YOU always know where YOU stand with YOU. YOU can always depend on YOU because wherever YOU are, wherever YOU go, YOU are there! If you find a way to build this strong foundation, you will probably be able to manage the loneliness in a more effective way. Anything going forward from that point onwards, be it spending time with friends, going to activity groups etc becomes a bonus and part of your life as oppose to being a lifeline or diversion of some sort.

I am currently in between the two stages right now. I have been keeping very busy with friends etc as a way of distraction (knowing its distraction) as I need to keep my mind going for my kids, work and studies. I can't really afford to just shut down. On the other hand, mostly the weekends, I spend a lot of that time being alone and really assessing the feeling and assessing me and everything around me. Appreciating all the little things around me helps!  Appreciating me and knowing that I am a good person helps!

I have always been good with my own company and find it quite enjoyable as I do when I am out socialising with friends. However, I did let myself slip when I met my ex-bf. I made the mistake of crossing the line and not maintaining the part of me that really belongs to me and no one else. I exposed it and now I'm suffering the consequences. This pain that I feel right now reinforces what I explained above, about building that strong foundation within you and depending on yourself!

I wish you all the best!