I am 28 years old and have been dealing with "undiagnosed" depression.  Which then seemed to manifest into anxiety on top of that and now i feel a bit obsessive compulsive.  It is ruling me life.  Ive for noting left.  No friends. People just dont get it.  Ive altered it so much around my anxiety that I found a job where I dont need to really see people. I take the least congested way to work.  I come right home.  This is not me. Im talented, attractive, smart, witty.  And now I dont know what the fuck I am(excuse the lanquage but its that bad).  i sometimes stare out the window trying to convince myself to step out the door, that nothing will happen. When I do leave Im drenched in sweat, shaking so bad i cant walk down a flight of stairs because my legs dont work. my world is distorted. Ive stayed in the house for an entire week at one point.  i make just enough to pay my rent.  But I need help and Im terrified.  I know I have to go seek help if I want it but Ive been dealing with this for 15 years, scared for 15 years. It doesnt get easier to ask for help and the fact that I have no insurance or taht much money doesnt help.  And i only seems to be getting worse. I tried to kill myself at 14 and again at 22. This is just unacceptable...I need to live my life again.  Please if anyone in chicago can help i would be greatful.  Sorry for the rant, I dont talk about it much. rachel.tucker37@yahoo.com