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Hi - my name is adrian .. i have had depression probably all my adult life , but was actually diagnosed 18 yrs ago ... i tried doing myself in after a very traumatic incident and just felt like i did not want to be here anymore ...   after going into a hospital and learning to cope , i did okay for years .. then 7 years ago more trauma .. death of a loved one, learning that i had ms and two or three other issues overcame my mind ... and once again i spiraled down ..   i had been "clean and sober" for 12 years ! then i was pretty much forced to have to take meds ... i am sorry that you feel alone in your thoughts about this drug issue ...   you are NOT .. i generally post on the chronic pain or ms portion here .. but this came to me today and i had to respond as i also feel worse off from meds .. just do not know what my alternatives are anymore ...   i recently quit smoking, took chantix, and it made me near suicidal .. also was prescribed just a month earlier BY an EXPERT on ms for neurontin .. an anti seizure med , and was at the brink of pulling my head off ...   i get angry when i am given something to "help" and I ask the question EVERY TIME ... how will this work with what i am taking now ... and get a generalized statement ...   docs and pharmacists are taught by the drug companies to CYA .. and so we , as i have been writing for years, are the guinea pigs .. and the FDA allows it ..   drug lobbyists ARE the major cause of this epidemic .. they have the cures , but will not allow them out as it would put them out of business ..   if you are an asthmatic (?) and prescibed something to help you with your asthma , then read or hear the warnings , that this particular drug can cause asthma DEATH , why on earth is it out there ?   this is not uncommon, bextra , vioxx , celebrex .. to name a few .. now more and more these drugs are not good for us ..   my suggestion is as little as possible, good therapy as often as needed and believe in yourself more .. so what if you cry or are blue every now and then .. don't add or change your regimen , cause people like us who have depression want to be happy , so do people in chronic pain , or who have cancer .. so take the minimum you can , take the old tried and true ..   i am sorry , but the more we add , the more suicidal we become and it is not funny, it is not pathetic, it is real .. it ruins relationships , it takes what hope you have and so get angry .. but not at yourself .. i wish i could tell you how or what to really do , but i can't ...   i can only say I HEAR YOU .. agserra