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Saturday, October 25, 2008 famousbigb, Community Member, asks

Q: I think about dying all the time

Okay so I can be doing things around the house and it just hits me. I HAVE TO DIE SOMEDAY and the fact of thinking about it makes me scared and I just think about what its like. I know I should believe that Heaven is real but How is it possible ya know. I mean Dont think I dont believe in god i do, Its just how can there be a better place. I dont wanna die but I know I will have to someday. I am Seventeen I shouldnt be worrying about this kind of stuff right now. I have dreams sometimes about dying and when I know Im awake after the dream, I feel like I cant move after having the dream and I cant open my eyes, But then finally I wake up and im scared. Can someone please help me or something. I just need to know what I can do not to think about it so much and to stop this. Its driving me crazy.

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Answers (4)
Merely Me, Health Guide
11/ 4/08 5:45pm

Hey there

 

It is called "Thantophobia" or fear of death.  It is extremely common and I feel so many phobias are really about this issue.  I have a fear of flying?  Why?  heights but also...I fear dieing up there.  Or down there as the case may be. 

 

So you are not abnormal for your fear.

 

There is an article in the Chicago Tribune about this topic which I will invite you to read.

 

There is a ton of literature of how to deal with this particular fear.  Here is one such article.   And here is yet another where the author thinks that we can use our fear of death to grow emotionally.

 

Have you experienced a great emotional trauma?  Where do your thoughts of death come from?  Have you been to many funerals?  How has death made an impact in your life.

 

I remember feeling very distressed by the thought of death when I was young too.  It just seems so unfathomable.  But really...it is just another natural aspect of life.  We are so removed from it nowadays except to see brutality on the news...and so we have trouble thinking of it in any other way as frightening and traumatic.

 

I think too...the fear stems from feeling a loss of control.  The way to combat this anxiety is to focus on right now.  Right now you are alive and there is much which is under your control.

 

Sometimes phobias can be too much for us to handle alone.  Would you be willing to talk to a counselor or therapist who might be better equipped to give you advice on how to handle this?  Behavioral or cognitive therapy and even medication might be of help.

 

I am sorry you are going through this.  Hang in there.  And please come back to tell us how you are doing.  Thank you for your question.

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texun, Community Member
11/14/08 7:55am

Dear famousbigb,

 

Try and let this ability of yours to see what is hidden in plain sight of everyone else bring life to you in the words of Ecclesiastes 3:11
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end and let it help you find wisdom in a dark world by bring light to you in the words of Psalm 39:4
"Show me, O LORD, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life and so also in Psalm 90:12
Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

These thoughts will come and go.  When they come and seem to be unbearable and you feel you do not have the strength to endure them, please hold on and wait, watch and pray. I offer to you these words of encouragement:

Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

"Teach me Lord, teach me Lord to wait."

 

texun

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cmrnpnny, Community Member
12/10/08 12:11am
the answer to your question is my dear no one knows when they will go that is up to god no doctor can stop that being afaid of dyeing so am I this is something that I dont know where I AM GOING I have my husband hold me all night just in case you see I am very ill and i think about it all the time and a family whom could care less .trust in god and try to find a good friend to pull you threw this i will be here for you as you for me being afaid of the unknow is normal and those whom say they are not afaid they are lying to them selfs Reply
want2bnormal, Community Member
11/11/10 9:48pm

My thoughts are with you.Thank You for the wisdom. My thoughts of death is so bad I cannot stop thinking the cycle of life. I watch my children who are teenagers live their life everyday Then I sit and think that they have to watch me die then their children are going to watch them die. The cycle over and over.. It is a little more extreme I'm just so damn scared all the time. I'm 37 this is not normal. I drive down the road think about been in the ground and no one been there for my family and lying there alone and cold. I know there is suppose to after life.I'm so so scared and can't shake this.

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derek, Community Member
3/ 6/11 9:33pm

i think about dying every day i cant believe that one day i wont be here how will my family cope what will my daughter be going through will they be able to cope all this because i cant cope after my fathers death i miss him every day i cry every day dont know why but i do i know its silly and its life but why

 

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CpCo, Community Member
6/30/11 1:11am

Hi there!  I am 4 times your age, so I thought I might be able to shed a little light on your questions.  I  believe that if you know anyone that might listen and talk to you about death that this might help.  Obviously, you are very curious and the subject seems really serious, and , yes, it is!  I have always had a serious depression disorder, and have been told that thinking often of death and dying is a symptom of depression.  I believe it is normal to want to know where we are heading, that is, if we can.  Isn't that logical since we do know we are capable of dying anytime possibly?   You mentioned heaven and what might be beyond this life.  Don't be embarrassed about speaking of Heaven, as it is a real place.  If you have any doubts from a purely scientific perspective, please read, Beyond the Cosmos.  I believe it was written by Dr. Hugh Ross, an astronomer.  He will explain many things that could be very valuable to you.  And if you search on the net, he has a website, and there are many others that are scientists that can prove that God exists.  There is no excuse for man to dismiss the savior, Jesus Christ, young man.  I pray you will search for answers, and if you do, you will someday find them.  At my age, I do think of death in more positive ways than when I was your age.  I look forward to what is waiting for me beyond this world.  Good luck with your life. 

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By famousbigb, Community Member— Last Modified: 01/09/14, First Published: 10/25/08