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Monday, May 30, 2011 2011kittylove asks

Q: Is it really my fault my boyfriend is stressed and unhappy?

My boyfriend of almost two years suddenly broke up with me after I returned home from a trip of just a few days. My boyfriend and I have had a wonderful relationship despite both of us being easily stressed and him being depressed. We argued like every other couple would but just after a few minutes we'd be running back to eachother. We are going to live together next year in college and had already planned out our future together. However, a week ago when I returned from my trip he said he didn't think we were meant for eachother. I was stunned. He said it was because he was always stressed out when he was with me but the reason for this stress is mostly unknown. We have fun together and he seemed very happy when we were together. He said I was the only one who accepted him and made him feel better. But now he says he wants to hang out with other people instead and not see me every week(we live an hour away from eachother and see eachother each weekend.). He told me there would be no affection or anything of that sort, but I went to see him like usual and he told me he loved me and acted just like he would when we were going out, even though I could tell he was trying to resist the urge to. He still doesn't think we should be together but I can't help wondering if it's just because of some major stress and depression? Is it really all because of me?
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Answers (2)
Merely Me, Health Guide
5/31/11 9:09pm

Hi there

 

It sounds like he is giving you some mixed messages.  He plans a future with you and then wants to break up.  Tells you there will be no affection but then says he loves you.  It sounds like he can't make up his mind. 

 

Do you think he has cold feet and is afraid of a commitment?  Is there a possibility he had found someone new when you went away?  Anything is possible.  We don't know your boyfriend but it sounds like he is not being honest with you.  I would not feel guilty or that this is your fault.  He is responsible for his own behavior.  I would proceed with caution if I were you. 

 

I hope things work out for the best.

 

Let us know what happens.

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5/30/11 11:22pm

Hi, there.  I'm sorry this has happened.  Without knowing you or your boyfriend, it's really hard to say what's going on.  I'm sure you haven't done anything "wrong," but it might be that he's having - for whatever reason - second thoughts about the relationship.  I would suggest that you not put your life on hold while waiting to see what happens - at least for very long.  Sooner or later, you will know what's going on.  He may not even know what's going on right now.  I hope he's getting help for his depression, at least.

 

I hope things work out for the best and that you'll take care of yourself.  Thanks for your question, wish I could have been of more help.

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By 2011kittylove— Last Modified: 05/31/11, First Published: 05/30/11