Actually come to think of it i have been going to some kind of shrinik, doctor of pschylogoy, social counselor most of my life. I just realized something earlier, i am told by most of my family and by my husband that i act like it is either my way or no way....my realizstion is that YES it has been most of my life. i have had situations where i have been left to figure out life all on my own. My parents divorced when i was 7. I was a very astute child, i paid attention to alot of things in my life. Really thing is what i am getting ready to write sounds like the excuses a seriel killer would use as a defense at a trial, stereotype but usually accurate. At least i think so now, as far as thre accuracy of a childs environment affecting the choices of an adult.   Dad left (we were close), when i was 7. I also blamed my mom bc they were manipulative with each other. Mom played the guilt card, and i have control card or you are going to have to pay card. I saw this i knew what it was even back then.   Then mom marries a man (that up to a week ago and the last almost 16 years was a great dear friend of mine) that at the time i hated. His family treated my mom and us like we were from the wrong side of the tracks. then they tried to get my dad to sign over his parental rights. Of course, he had to let me and my sister know that, knowing that i would confront my mother about it at the age of 9.   So at the time of adolesence, i missed the meaning of real love, but learned to throw your hands in the air and say whatever...give up instead of holding out working it out. I do agree that for some it is necessary. As i got older i did learn that their are some people that just arent made for each other. But as a a child i saw it as manipulation, head games, getting what you want when you want by controlling power with guilt, fear, and intimidation. So guess who the girl bully was in school. Not to the girls per se, although i couldnt figure out why they didn't like me, but i bullied the boys (mostly i think to get their attention.) That would lead me to my second grade catastrophy...,.MTC (acronym for more to come)....