Hi, Sommer -

This is a tough position to be in, but I think you should trust your instincts about what you're experiencing. You're doing the right thing by trying to get good information and reaching out as best you can. Diagnosing yourself is never easy, and you should be allowed to see someone who can talk to you and assess what you're going through from a professional point of view. Hopefully, this would be someone experienced in working with adolescents.

Unfortunately your father seems to share the attitudes of many adults who think that children and teenagers don't get depression. There's a lot of data proving that it's a widespread problem, and I'm wondering if your father would be at all open to learning more about depression in the very young, even if he's skeptical that you have this problem.

Here is a good site about teen depression, and this is an excellent post by Deborah Gray, an expert here, on spotting depression symptoms in teenagers as opposed to normal mood swings. Those are good for helping your dad get some background. There is also a powerful film called The Misunderstood Epidemic. PBS has shown it a couple of times, and you can also rent the dvd (I've gotten it from Netflix). It's only an hour long but includes interviews with people of all ages with depression, including a young boy and a teenage girl - toward the end it also tells the tragic story of a handsome, talented boy who had depression for years and took his own life at age 13. I hope some of this can make provide education for your father.

I don't know if your mother takes this seriously, but if she does she might be influential in helping your dad reconsider. If not, is there another adult you trust who could help get the message across?

And the hotlines are there if you're in crisis and scared of what you might do to yourself. I hope you and your father can get to a better point in discussing what you're feeling.

John