Hello, Karyn -   I know how easy it is to escape into an online relationship - just as it is to fantasize about an affair. Everything seems perfect because there are no day to day stresses. But seeking that sort of outlet for your feelings - as you know - only makes it easier to avoid the hard part of open and honest communication with your husband. You understand a lot about your behavior and that's a big achievement. I'm sure your husband has built up his own frustrations with your isolation and withdrawal, and Judy's idea of the two of you sitting down with a therapist is excellent. It's not uncommon for a couple to meet with a relationship counselor while one of the partners is also in individual therapy - so that's something else to consider.   Communicating with your husband fully - and he with you - is essential to topping what could a worsening cycle of emotional distance and blame. I don't know if that's feasible financially, but it is so important that your husband be able to understand and be supportive of you as you deal with multiple problems. His needs can't be forgotten - not to mention those of three young children. It's a lot to handle under the best of circumstances.   You can do a search on this site for PTSD and also for dissociative personality disorder (that's the favored term now rather than multiple) - to find out more about how people handle relationships when they have these conditions. This site has a number of posts on depression and relationships - look at Merely Me's list of shareposts - also at mine and Jerry Kennard's - there's a lot here.   Please stay in touch if you need more information and ideas.   John