Hello Elaine

This is such a common issue for spouses who are dealing with their partner's depression.  It must be so hard to want to help but not knowing exactly how when your spouse doesn't seem to want to hear about it.  I can see why you would be particularly concerned especially in light of a previous suicide attempt.

May I ask...why was he taken off the meds?  Was it his choice?  Had he done well on them? 

What are his primary objections to seeing a doctor now? 

I am going to first point you in the direction of some excellent articles about this very topic.  The first comes from Health Central's Deborah Gray' and her article, "What to do When Your Partner is Depressed"     She gives some very detailed advice of things you can do to be of help without being overly intrusive.

In this article entitled, "When Depressed Husbands Refuse Help" author Beverly Wax also gives tons of tips in helping a depressed spouse.

I will also give you some suggestions from my personal experiences:

* Open up the discussion not by telling him what to do but by talking about your feelings and observation and an offer to help.  What would it be like to say..."I have been noticing (whatever symptoms he is showing) and I want to know if there is anything I can do to help?"

* Point out any of his past successes in coping with his depression.  Remind him of his strengths. 

*  Remind him that you will be there for him no matter what he is going through. 

*  Allow him to feel angry or vent.  Anger is a part of depression.  He may need to feel secure that you won't fall apart if he expresses it.

I am not a therapist and so these are just my personal suggestions.  It might be good for you to talk to a friend, find a support group, seek counseling for yourself in order to deal with these rough times.

I am sorry that you and your husband are going through this right now.  There is nothing easy about such a situation.  Please do hang in there and let us know how things evolve. 

Thank you for reaching out here.