Hi Judy, thanks for answering, didn t think anyone would answer, yes for me it is very hard to deal with, and she told me she is on a waiting list, this way she doesn t have too pay, but before I left 2 weeks ago she went to see a shrink, and paid 150, but I don t know if that is true though, I just think with all of her past, its all coming out, and yes she does have alot on her plate, and it is amazing, what I went through the past year, that I am not depressed, I am very strong minded person, but my fault his, I have to help that person so much, to help themselves, enough to choke there space, so this time, I will try too just do my things and see what happens, I can t email, text or phone her and ask her if she goes, if I can come to a session, cause right now, I don t think she would want to talk to me.

Hi, Gary.  I think you are doing exactly the right thing - give her all that space she wants and see what happens.  I think you'll be able to tell if she does, indeed, get help.  Some people have a hard time getting too close, they want to, but then they don't and she sounds like there might be a little of that going on, based on what you've said about her.  Just take care of yourself right now, take a breath and hope she will follow through.  I wish you all the best.

Hi again Judy, thanks but what all happen in these past week, I don t know if she still loves me or misses me, I keep reading the letter she wrote me everyday, telling myself that this is true and she meant it, but what happen at the pub last thursday, she told the guy friend and his girlfriend, she doesn t love me anymore, cause after the fight, and the police came to the pub, which I didn t know that went on, I said to them I am going to leave, I don t fill comfortable, and i am very tired, when she came to sit near us, and not with us, she said too me, that I don t have to leave, cause she is there, but didn t answer her, so when I was paying my beer, she started to yell at her guy friend, and he told her to stop, but she didn t,  so about an hour later, she text me saying yeah you really want me too commit suicide, you showed me tonite you really love me, and told other friends that he poured his whole pitcher of beer over her and threw the pitcher at her face, non of this was true, the thing that was true, yes the he had abit of beer left in his glass, and threw it at her face to wake up and stop giving him shit, but she didnt, so then he threw the plastic pitcher but beside her and not even touching her, so could her reaction and being irratated, be caused by stopping her antidepressants, cause I read up about that, and she has all of the symptoms, when I was still with her, she complained about dizziness, diareaha, and not sleeping good, and screaming and yelling at everyone, putting her son down, giving shit to her two twin daughters, and saying that she is afraid of my son cause he his a killer.

Hi, Gary.  I don't know what antidepressants she's been taking, but I think there are a couple of them that could cause some bad side effects - one of them is Effexor.  Under the "Manage" section at the top of this page, there are some topics and one of them is "Effexor Withdrawal."  That one is notorious for having withdrawal symptoms.  Or, maybe she's not taking the right kind of medication, it's hard to say.  She sounds very angry and out of control.  I think you would be helping yourself to keep your distance, at least until you know that she's back in control of herself.  I'm sorry to hear that all this is going on, it must feel like a nightmare.  If you know who her doctor is, you could call him/her and give this information to them - it's not breaking confidentiality for them to receive information, only to give it to someone other than her.  Again, good luck and keep writing if this helps.

Thank Judy, it is nice that someone is there, to listen to you.  Yes it does me good, to get this all out, and it is a nightmare, because when I met her, I never ask for any of this, I went and phone the family, one sister who was also depressed and still his phone her, and said to me, she is alright, that she explained everything to her, but she  is not alright, saying to her mother, and her other sister s husband, but they said they can t do nothing, her mother talked too her, last weekend about the booze, and other things, but went in one ear, and out the other, says she never listens to anybody.   With all of this, I feel so helpless, feels like I have my hands tied behind my back, and can t get them loose, the only thing I can hope for, if she stumbles across a stranger, that will notice, and help her, and ask god to guide her, and at the moment, I am trying to help her daughter, and staying in contact. Well thank you again.  Gary

Gary, it is really kind of you to keep trying to help her daughter, I'm sure she needs somebody right now when her mother is incapacitated.  It's hard to watch somebody slip away and you can't do anything about it; some people have to reach rock bottom before they'll change and maybe she hasn't hit it yet.  My oldest son was in a bad way most of his teenage years and tried to kill himself twice (and this was while on medication and seeing a therapist) but he did finally grow up and now he makes me proud with the way he's such a good father to his little son.  I'm glad he saw the light earlier than later.  Hopefully, your girlfriend will get a jolt of reality soon and realize what she's throwing away.  Don't be afraid to get some help yourself to cope with all of this, okay?  Hang in there and keep me posted.

I don t know how to thank you so much, you are the only one answering me, and getting help for myself, is reading up on depression, and listening, what you have too tell me, I appreciated so much, there is always a good hearted person out there, may god bless your soul.

You are most welcome, Gary!  If you ever feel like creating a Share Post, you might get a few more people to respond as I think people here tend to read those more often than the general questions just because they're more "visible."  Everyone here is very compassionate and it's very safe here, so feel free if you think you might like to do that.  If you need help in how to do that, just let me know.  Otherwise, would like to keep hearing how you're doing - you sound like a very caring person yourself.

Hello again, don t know how to create a share post, also, my mind doesn t stop thinking of all went on for the past two weeks, and what she said in the texts and emails, I saved every email and text, since I left her house. This week very hard cause I just want to text, and email her, but I know it will upset her.  Thanks

Gary, at the top of this page there is a blue box that says "Connect" and one of the topics in there is "Create a Sharepost."  Just click on that and it will take you through what's necessary to create one.  If you're not already registered, you will need to do that, but it should take you through that procedure, too.  Everything is confidential, no one will know your actual email address, they just need it to be able to notify you when you receive responses.  You can also subscribe to other Shareposts, like Merely Me, is one of the site's experts.  Hope this works - let me know if you have any trouble.  I am leaving now for a little while, so won't be able to respond right away, but I will get back to you if you write again.