Dear Paul,

Thank you for the concerned reply. Right now I am living in florida with my cousin, getting back on my feet financially. I just got employed at my old job (Taco Bell) working night/graveyard shifts, and I'm looking into working at Petco(morning shifts). This fall semester is an off period so I can raise money and scholarships for the spring semester. I plan to attend a floridian college for at least the next two years in order to work on my bachelors degree in Information Technology.  Because of an aptitude separation,(due to a medical reason) I am "red lined" from entering the service for at least a few years. (I need a few years off of my anti-depressants) This girl enlisted into the national guard last year when I entered the Naval Academy. Since then, things have not gone my way, and I feel EXTREMELY insecure about my failure to adapt to the Navy. Right now, It feels like I am not an entire man, even If I did work harder than most in my class to adapt.

Anthony, you can dismiss that idea right away. You certainly are a man and are showing it in the ways you are coping. It isn't easy to react when a roadblock suddenly appears in what was a certain path.

I think you have created a very good plan. You went back and obtained employment again, you're even trying for more. You intend to search for scholarships and return to college with a goal for your degree. I really think you are handling yourself very well under the pressure you must feel to meet expectations of yourself and others. I assure you most of us never got near an academy and that doesn't define us, neither does that one thing define you.

Sounds like your girlfriend should be home now, unless her unit was deployed.They still do six months active duty initially?

I don't know what might happen in your relationship but I believe that you stand the best chance by showing her you are moving on in your life. Talk to her about your plans, give her a chance to help, if she wants. It sounds like you may be far away from her in location.

I am not good at advising about relationships, not that I won't give my opinion, but if you post about that, give people more information, I think you will get some good ideas, or thoughts. Sometimes it just helps to write it out in shareposts here.

Dear Paul,

Thank you very much for your advice, I was relieved when I finished reading your reply. It is not easy to see things clearly when life changes so suddenly. I am most definitely going to continue working hard for next semester, and I will continue looking for ways to steel my mind. On the subject of this special girl, we had been dating for 14 months,(the last year of high school) and 6 months afterwards. I broke up with her around christmas because my mother died and my grandfather had been hospitalized. The stress was very extreme and I did not understand what was going on. Anyway, she is back from deployment and can be deployed at any time. While we were separated, she met another guy and had "connection problems" with him for four months. We've recently been talking and there is still a pretty big spark between us. I absolutely adore this girl, and consider myself blessed just to still be in her life. Ah, forgive me, I am babbling. Well thanks again, and I would appreciate any more advice you would be willing to offer.

One thing, Anthony, since you had broken up with her, no matter the reason, she is, or was, probably unsure of your feelings toward her. People who love us want to be a part of our joy, and sorrow, and sometimes don't understand why we want space, or to be left alone for awhile.

You adore her. That's good! Make sure she knows it every day.

You keep writing here, any time you want. Let us know how you are doing.

Thank you paul. I look forward to writing to you all more frequently.