As above, I sincerely wish that someone would give me some answers.

To cut the long story short, I'll speak on very brief terms: My wife and I met about a year ago at a professional course. She's 16 years my senior (yes, surprising I know) but the connection was amazing. We had plenty to talk about and she's the person who cared about me the most - she would offer lots of advice for me, cheered me up when I am down, things like that. We fell in love and officially started dating about 2 months after we met.

Things were rosy at first. However, I was unaware of my shortcomings but she's very accomodating, hence I did not notice them at first. I was a very egoistical, stubborn, selfish and chauvinistic person. As such, a lot of her requests and pleas fell on deaf ears.

In actual fact, she's a divorcee with a 12-year old son. At the time when I met her, she was staying in a rental flat with her son. She was originally from the disability field and wanted to upgrade herself by taking a Maths exam, so that she could go back to that field as a disability teacher. I knew of her situation but, due to my selfishness, I refused to fork out her rental. As a result, she had to keep job-hopping and could not do her Maths. Each job was draining and frustrating to her, hence she could not stay long in any of them.

Tension started to mount in our relationship but both of us still loved each other very much. As such, we decided to tie the knot as despite the problems we had, the connection was great - both of us had not feel so connected to someone else before in our lives.

After that, she suggested whether she could move into my parent's house for a short stay. However, after visiting my house, she decided against it as it was pretty crammed and messy. But I insisted to let her move in (horrible, I know) as it would save her rental. She reluctantly moved in with her son and the nightmare begun.

She could not get along with both in-laws and consequentially, she had to stay outdoors for long hours just to avoid them. She became doubly stressed and angry as she's jobless and could not coach her son, who is studying for an important examination at the end of the year. So we started to discuss on moving out. Subsequently, we got married but she was very unhappy then because of the situation she was in. I did little to better her situation as I seldom stood up for her (horrible personality, I know). Eventually, we moved out to a new rental unit about 3 months ago.

Initially, we thought that things would change for the better but I carried my old habits over. It took quite a while for them to go away but my wife's job situation wasn't any better, she still kept job-hopping, primarily because of low pay, high stress as well as colleagues who simply wouldn't let her off due to jealousy. After a few twists and turns, she finally went back to the disability field, but as a trainer, not a teacher. The hours are long and the journey, far but she have to stay for the time being as given her age, it is not easy for her to land a job - much less one that is willing to pay her the old salary she used to get, when she was a teacher. She have to put up with the stress - in a post that is not her first choice. She wants to become a disability teacher and have half-day work, so that she gets more time to rest.

After these few months of grilling (plus negative memories from her previous failed marriages, as well as the assholes she met at various locations, including past companies), she fell into a depression. She would keep thinking of dying and lost interest in nearly everything. She's constantly tired out and had to sleep during weekends' afternoons. She has lost the sparkle she used to have in her eyes. Lastly, she would keep bringing up the past in front of me and is full of hatred. Now, she wants to have nothing to do with me anymore.

I am seriously upset. Very, very upset. I admitted to her that I hadn't been, and wasn't a good husband but I promised her to change, which I did - over the past couple of months, I have eliminated my selfishness and ego, became more supportive and reflective. In addition, I deeply regret all that I have done - I had cause someone who loves me so much to wither in front of my eyes. She had cried a lot after her depression set in - I cried as much, as I am deeply hurt by the realization of what an asshole I was. I apologized to her repeatedly (coupled with remedial actions) but she would accept it first, then flare up again later. Her mood is extremely volatile nowadays.

I did ask her whether she needs to see a doctor for antidepressant drugs and I would sponsor her for it, but she refused - she wanted to die instead of taking drugs, as she is worried that she might become too reliant on them.

Does anyone here have had similar experiences, where you have hurt your spouse previously with your errant ways and have subsequently been successful in saving your marriage? If you have, please share with me! I really, really love my wife a lot and would die to see her becoming her radiant old self once again.

Thanks in advance, everyone!