I want to preface this by saying that I am diagnosed with severe anxiety and post-traumatic stress, and have been through years-long deep depressions myself. Through faith, determination, and now finally (recently) medical help, I am in a much brighter spot and resolving a lot of old issues while managing my own demons/baggage and condition.
Now on to the story/question:
I have been dating a depressed person for about 14 months. Prior to us officially dating we were best friends and coworkers for over a year. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into as far as his depression, but being that I have been there myself and made it to the other side, I thought having my support and understanding would pave the way for his recovery.
Unfortunately, he has never shown any signs or made any efforts to get better, despite my making appointments for him with free community mental health services and offering almost unconditional patience and empathy, always being the one to keep the relationship together and bite my tongue when my own anger and doubts creep in. As of the new year, he is unemployed. He is also living with his mother despite being way too old to be doing so, and I feel this situation only enables him.
Recently I have basically hit my wits end, my limits, and I feel like giving up. Being around someone so hopeless who makes zero efforts to get or accept help is driving ME crazy. I have laid everything out on the line tryin to help him and accept him, trying to set him up with jobs and medical attention, but he just acts irritated with me and grows more and more distant.
I love the person he is underneath all the depression, and I think he has unlimited potnetial to be amazing and have an amazing life. But as of right now he is a deadbeat and a loser, and I resent him more and respect him less every day.
So when is enough enough?