I am constently unhappy, i have always had a problem with depression but resently it has gotten much worse, my boyfriend of two years gave me gental herpes, he swears he didn't cheat which i do not beleave, he claims he had symptoms of the virous five years ago and treated it himself, he says he addmits he was wron and niave to not tell me. but even if he did cheat i dont think i have the right to be angry. considering i have cheated on him with at least five different men. ( which he does not know about) i have lost all trust in him and i think it comes from not being abel to trust myself. i really to love and care about him he is the best boyfriend i have ever had, but our sex life is rather plain, i have tried talking to him about this but he just seems to get upset, also i feel very distent from him, i get super angry at him sometimes over no reason at all, also i get depressed about things like him not sending me flowers, or buying me jewlery or little suprises, i get crazy with jelousy thinking he may be doing stuff with other women that i have searched his e-mail, credit card information, phone account and personal belongings, i feel like if i am anone in this relationship and thats why i seek the love and atttention of another man, i think i might be partially bipolar, and a bit of a manic depressent, i often feel like i hate everything about my life my family, my friends, coworkers, job, and everything else even my dog, i am constently sad and feel worthless please is there any medication that i can take to help me with this problem, i realize it is me that has the issue but i just can not change it. i fear what i will do next. please any medical professional out their please help me to understand what i cando to help change this or if their is any medication i can take to help with this i am 27 years old and a female if that info helfs any.
Q: i hate my life in every way, nothing seems to make me happy.
Hello Lost in Life
I guess my first recommendation is that you do seek help for your depression. You can either call your local mental health center or you can get a referral from your general practitioner. There certainly are medications out there to treat mood disorders but only a qualified professional can diagnose you so that you are taking the right medication for what you have. You can't just diagnose yourself with Bipolar Disorder...you will need to be seen by a doctor.
I am sorry you are having such a tough time of it. It does sound like your current relationship may be contributing to your mood? This doesn't sound very healthy...for you both to be cheating and taking risks with your sexual behavior. I think if you had a therapist to talk to...you could get to the core issues of why you are in this relationship and how to move on to a more healthy one....one where you do feel secure and loved.
Now is the time to act. Call someone. Get some help. You don't have to suffer like this.
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