Monday, December 22, 2008 marianne rankin asks

Q: I am in 'assisted living & EVERY person here is 15-20 YEARS older than I am (57)

I survived a brain aneurysm (Circle of Willis) in 05 & I USED to live in my private apt, behind my mother (in her backyard) She SURPRISED me with this place after Katrina, someone seems to die everyday...& I never see my mother unless she comes over to check for dust & play bingo. Bingo is our ONLY activity...I am 57...the next youngest person is in her 70's & there is a man here who is 100...seriously. What can I do to survive AND feel better?? I can only get on the PC @ night. Its my personal PC & private room....but this is my LIFE?

I have a very dear friend in Lubbock, Texas who would take me in, in a heatbeat. WHAT CAN I do????????????

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Answers (6)

psychoward1

12/23/08 2:16am

Only you can decide what is going to make your situation more livable.

What is it that is going to give you the courage to make that decision to stay or go?

Would a doctor not recomend you living on your own?

Maybe an assisted living situation?

Pat

marianne rankin

7/31/09 1:05am

This IS an 'Assisted Living' where I am 57 & THE NEXT resident is in her 80's. My MOTHER went to court to get "Conservatorship" .... I AM CAPABLE of living 'on my own'....I have TWO brothers & A SON in Texas who would find mea nice Apt. Me/Myself & I pay all of THIS expense,

marianne rankin

7/31/09 1:27am

PS: There is ALSO in Tx a man I DO LOVE AND ADORE but my mother drove over here 'tipsy' as usual & with my brother-in-law & a GUN & ran him off....This place is not HEALTHY....I SERIOUSLY know of two people dying & SHE wonders why I am depressed.

ediew

12/26/08 5:57pm

I believe that you have rights you are not aware of. You don't always have to stay in the nursing home. Have you contacted your friend? If you know it is where you want to be then make the arrangements. Also, you have a right to chose what's best for you. Which nursing home placement that you want of course in restraints of coverage!

Talk to the Social Worker where you are at. Their job is to assist and help people coming in and transfering.

marianne rankin

7/31/09 1:30am

EVERYone knows where I am....We HAVE no social worker who comes here...I have no phone & we 'aren't allowed' to call out.

sunshine

12/26/08 6:01pm

i feel truly sorry for u, that has got to be a very depressing situation, i lived in a similiar situation a few years ago, the youngest was 6o and the oldest was baout 89, my mom lined in the building as well , i moved out i couldn,t stand the gossip there and the depressing conversations, evert time i went out and came home i felt depressed as soon as i knew i would soon be hohe, try to enlist help from your member of the couccil, or someone in authority even your doctor can help on your behalf, i hope u can find a way out of your situation, i feel your frustration.

bezhard08

12/27/08 10:41pm

Who are you, are you free? If this friend is important go for it. Utah great.You're in a

pickle, with the death thing. If you can handle yourself in all ways no holds. You have to be independent outside do for yourself courage

beentheredonethat

12/28/08 12:43am

Get the hell out of there honey! Get in touch with your friend in Lubbock! Get in touch with me! I'm in Metairie. I am a big ole dyke social worker disabilty rights activist. My mother would like nothing better than to get rid of me like that. But I won't let her. And she and my stepfather know it! It would be on tv and in the newspaper the next day! Oh no! There is anger under your depression. I promisee you. I survived heart failure and have loads of post transplant problems, not to mention I'm an out and proud lesbian for about 40 years in the stupid conservative laid back male Big Easy. Have mydepressionconnection.com get in touch with me personally if you'd like. Where are you? I'll help if I can!

marianne rankin

7/31/09 1:36am

I have NO phone...we aren't 'allowed' to use the office phone. I DID contact the office of the US Rep she says helped her get 'conservatorship....his office never heard of her & the man won't get involved.

Judith

1/ 1/09 9:49pm

You're not that much older than me. My parents moved in with me when I was 38 because my dad had fallen from about 12' and became paralyzed from the waist down. My life has changed completely, but at least I don't live alone any more. My mom and dad go to the hospital to volunteer every week. It helps boost the morale of the in-patients since my dad has a real idea with their situation, and my mom blesses the staff by encouraging them with what a good job they are doing. If you're healthy enough to do a bit of volunteer work, it would certainly give you an outlet and a purpose. Hospitals would fail to funciton if it weren't for volunteers.

I've suffered with severe bouts of depression and anxiety in my life, and I find that gardening brings me a lot of peace. I thank God everyday that I am able to get around and for His beautiful creation. Maybe get involved with a churhc. You never know how much you may be needed there.

I hope your New Year is blessed immensley. Sincerely, Judith

marianne rankin

7/31/09 1:21am

I can't garden here OR have a pet, which I REALLY MISS... I ALSO miss people MY age...EVERYONE here is 15-20 years older than I am. MY MOTHERS age...THIS is NOT being a 'conservator' on HER part. I can't drive so I can't volunter any where. I don't have a WAY to GET to church.

I sincerely love a man in Texas, but mother drove over with her son-in-in law (I widowed at a young age) & ran him off with a GUN.

sILVER bELLE

Q: I am in 'assisted living & EVERY person here is 15-20 YEARS older than I am (57)

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