you know. I have tried that 3 different times....and now at this ripe old age...(56) I am thankfuil that I never got it done...I realize just how hard everyday can be..heck, just getting out of bed is an accomplishment for me some days...please take it minute by minute...and reach deep within yourself..there has to be something/someone who needs you or is waiting for you to help or seek them out..that is why your still here...evry breathe that you take is one that I know someone someplace would would love to share with you...even with your illness....there are always things to learn or even your thoughts written out on paper might help someone along the way..look throught your Bible...maybe there is a message in there that is just for you to find (and no, I am not a religious freak)...just keep on going....is your health so that you could get a pet?? If it weren't for my cats (the 2 of them)...who have listened to so many things from me and understand and love me with no strings attached...I know I couldn't go on...please, please hang in there...I will always chat with you f you have the need....izzy 14