i have asked myself this same question,for 20+ years. and "my" answer is, i truly dont know..i have accepted that feeling okay ,is acceptable ,because the feeling of being on the low end of depression is so much worse. like you ,i have tried many different meds thru the years and im just coming off a low where the meds just quit working. my dr rx a new med yesturday and im hoping to see an improvement. as i go thru this struggle along with you and many others, ill be happy to keep in touch. my last meds were zoloft 100mg + cymbalta 60mg, now im trying zoloft 100mg + remeron(old deppression med).so mara dont give up, the answer is out there, we just have to keep working on it.. of course,lack of motivation is my worse vice, but ive found that this board is great place to go and im actually a newbie..