Mara, I can totally relate to you and, I understand the fear of becoming depressed >>> AAAgain.. It's scary when you know where you're heading, and not knowing exactly how to stop it !!! I had hoped a lot of how I felt/feel was due to the weather (SADS) and/or a brain tumor I had..But, I don't think so.. A friend of mine went through a really serious period of depression, and her Dr. finally offered her the Deep Brain Stimulation..WOW !!! is all I can say for her results..She wouldn't leave the house or her husbands side, cried 24/7, no food interests, etc... She tried med's, many appointments with psychiatrist and NOO luck..But, after the "shock" treatments, >>couple weeks later, she was able to have conversations w/out crying and all the above negative feelings. I wish I knew more about those " Miracle" treatments, and am looking up more info. on it when I see it online.. I'm not sure if that's something you'd be able to get, or if your Doc. would think about it at least ?? Can't hurt to ask him/her..Let me know if you read or hear anything about this type of treatment, please and how you get through this mountain ? Keep the hope, and ask your guardian angel to place the right person,place or thing in your path.
Hope to hear back from you soon.
Mary