My husband has been depressed for two months. Every day. He has never been this way in 18 years of marriage. He has always been very happy and stable and full of energy. He can't sleep at night and then is fatigued all day. He doesn't want to do anything and nothing makes him happy. He has lost a bunch of weight and doesn't want to eat. The doctor gave him Ambien. It seems to help him sleep through the night. But he is still very depressed. He has been taking Celexa for 10 days but hasn't had any relief from the depression at all. The doctor told him it could take 4-6 weeks before it becomes effective. I made him an appointment with a counselor through our church and he has been to one visit. I listen to him talk every day about how he feels, but nothing changes. I am so frustrated. I am trying to be patient and supportive but I am increasingly worried that he is not going to get better. I want my husband back. I am very fearful that he is going to shut down completely and lose his job. He has a very good job and I don't know how I will support our family if he falls completely apart. We have six children and I don't know how to take care of them and him too. I am angry about the way this is affecting our lives. And then I feel guilty and selfish for feeling angry when I should be striving to be patient and supportive. After all, he is the one suffering with the depression. Help!
Q: How do I overcome my own fears so I can be patient and supportive of my spouse?
Hi Nicole,
Sounds like you are on the right path and have done everything right. It just takes time to get out of the clouds. I understand your pain and hope that you will at some point take time for yourself to get some counseling because having someone to talk to really helps alot.
Pat
Hi Nicole,
I have depression myself. It takes time for the meds. to get in your system. Also sometimes you have to increase the dose. I tried 4-5 meds. before I found one that worked. So if after a couple weeks he does not feel even just a little better call the doctor. It took about 2 months for me to get the full effect of my meds and that was increasing it 2x. But I would notice small improvements with each increase. With some meds. you may get side effects but they ususally go away after a couple weeks. If they are intolerable call the dr. I had side effects with every med. I tried so I finally realized I would probably have side effects with each one so I just had to stick with one and get thru them. Some people have no side effects at all. It does get better it just takes time. I thought the same thing that I would not get better but I am. It is very hard for the person going thru it and the family. The best thing you can do is be supportive and patient. I know it is hard but that is really the only thing to do is give it time. I know you are stressed over this and believe me he is probably is to. When I first started having it I didn't want to do anything or talk to anybody and felt really guilty. He doesn't want to be that way that is the depression. He has to fight it also. I would have to force myself to do the smallest thing. Then once the meds started working it became much easier todo those things. You really just have to hang in there and give it time. No matter how much I wanted to will it away it doesn't work that way. Be supportive and know that it does get better.
Important:
We hope you find this general health information helpful. Please note however, that this Q&A is meant to support not replace the professional medical advice you receive from your doctor. No information in the Answers above is intended to diagnose or treat any condition. The views expressed in the Answers above belong to the individuals who posted them and do not necessarily reflect the views of Remedy Health Media. Remedy Health Media does not review or edit content posted by our community members, but reserves the right to remove any material it deems inappropriate.
Featuring Content From:
By using this service, you accept our Terms of Use. Please read them. The consumer health information on is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. You should promptly seek professional medical care if you have any concern about your health, and you should always consult your physician before starting a fitness regimen. Copyright © 2012 Remedy Health Media, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
