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Hi Lola   While nobody here can diagnose you, it does sound like you are suffering.  I think that regardless of the cause it sounds like you need some help right now to get through this time.    I do think that what you feeling right now is totally understandable with the re-emergence of your dad.  This is heavy stuff.    I would strongly recommend that you find a counselor or therapist at this time to work through this issue.  It is not going to go away.  And I think you are overwhelmed in dealing with this on your own.    Please keep talking to us and let us know how things are going okay?