Ask Ginger - I know my friends care about me, but...

Dear Ginger,

I’m so, so, so sick of other people trying to tell me how to take care of my diabetes. Like, when I’m having lunch with friends, whenever I order food they always say stuff like, “Should you be eating that?” or “That’s got a lot of carbs in it, doesn’t it?” or if I ever eat dessert—which diabetics ARE allowed to do sometimes!—they always say, “I hope you take a big shot of insulin with that,” and then kinda give me this look like I’m being bad for having a little dessert. How do I make it stop without being rude? I know they’re really just looking out for me, but it’s driving me nuts.

-Anonymous


Hey—I hear you!!! It’s so frustrating because we know, quite clearly, that our friends do this because they care about us and are also simply interested in the disease we live with… but it’s OUR disease! Not theirs. And we don’t need more doctors — we have enough already!

So, this is my suggestion: sometime when you’re all hanging out and getting along, try bringing it up (whether it’s right after the comments or when you’re all just hanging out watching TV).

For example…

“So, I know you’re all just looking out for me, and I appreciate it… but I always have doctors and my parents telling me how to take care of my diabetes, and I kind of wish that when I’m with you guys, my friends, I could just take care of it by myself and then hang out like everybody else.”

I’ve definitely had this conversation with my friends when I was diagnosed in seventh grade. And they instantly understood what I meant when I talked to them. From that point on, instead of looking at the number on my glucose meter and saying, “Oh no, it’s high,” they would just tell me I was doing a good job, no matter what.

See “My Friends Give Me High-Fives”