A few posts ago i shared my struggle with diabetes and how i was not taking responsibility for my health, well this past December i became very sick. I had a filling fall out of one of my molars and it got infected, the infection got into my stomache from swallowing the puss, and i ended up with a blood infection. I was terribly sick, i could not eat or drink anything and wasnt going to the bathroom, i had nothing in me to eliminate, i was throwing up every 5 minutes, just blood and puss and it hurt, i thought i was damaging my stomache lining because i had a horrible pain in my stomache, it felt like something was stuck in my stomache and was on fire, it felt heavy and burned really bad.

In the hospital they gave me an IV as i was severely dehidrated, it felt so good, i could actually feel it going through my body and started to tremble uncontrollably from the coolness of the liquid entering my body, i was given a shot of something to stop my vomiting, then the nurse checked my gasses with a huge needle but i didnt feel anything i was so out of it and in soo much pain i really didnt care, i just kept asking them if they were going to make me feel better.

I think i was delirious because i thought i recognised one of the nurses and thought ''oh its just McDreamy from Greys Anatomy''.

I was given a prescription to take 600mg 3x a day of antibiotics, i started to feel better once i started the medication and in a couple of days i was able to keep down liquids.

The day i went into the hospital my mom looked at me and asked if i was wearing makeup, i said no i wasnt, she said with a scared look on her face ''are you sure you are not wearing any makeup it looks like youre mascara ran under your eyes''

i said no again and she asked why i had black eyes, she was really scared and wanted to believe that it was caused from makeup, my face had no color and i had really dark black circles under my eyes, i am fair to begin with but i was whiter than a sheet.

It was really scary because i was not eating or drinking a thing for a whole week about 8 days actually, and my blood sugar was really high from the infection so i had to take my insulin still but my blood sugar wouldnt go down it just went up more.

Once i started the antibiotics my blood sugar went down, and i couldnt get it to go up to a healthy range, it went down to 1.0 (i dont know what that is in youre system in the US) a couple of times.

I eat clean these days and dont even crave chocolate anymore, i dont want it i just think of how sick i feel when i do and it is a turn off, i still snack ALOT! ALOT! Believe me, but now i snack on carrots, celery, pickels, not chips and candy.

I dont make New Years Resolutions but this year i am and it is to be really healthy and aware of my health and to keep my eating clean, and to make use of my gym membership.

I dont want to feel that way ever again, i never want to be that sick ever again.