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and still no changes to the way that i handle things. I try and try and nothing has changed. I still find it hard to remember to take my insulin and I still find it hard to watch what I eat and when I eat. I don't know what to do at this point anymore. I want so badly to be healthy but I feel as if I almost don't have the will power, because the people around me don't help me, or try to help me, and honestly, I need all the help that I can get...help? :(
Hey Jessica,
Right off the bat, darlin', I want to tell you that being healthy is not out of your reach just because it's incredibly challenging right now.
Here's the thing:
Willpower is not something we have or don't have. Willpower is something we apply or don't apply. And when you look at it like that, maybe it kind of sucks, but on the other hand, you could also look at it realize that it is up to you! It means that you DO have control over this situation.
For example, yeah, late at night, I crave sweets--chocolate to be exact. Hershey's chocolate. That's not going to change, because I love chocolate. But right after my brain says, "Ginger, get yourself a Hershey's Bar," there's also a voice that says, "Hold up. Wait a minute. You don't need that."
It's easier to listen to the first voice and get some chocolate. It's more worthwhile, though, to listen to my wiser voice, use willpower, resist the urge to get chocolate and fill my head with positive thoughts reminding myself why this is a good decision for me.
Making good choices for ourselves is not supposed to always be easy! If you're waiting for it to feel easy to have diabetes, you're going to be waiting a long time! This disease takes a lot of work, continually. I know a lot about my body and my diabetes and I still don't get it right all the time.
And even when I do get it right for half the day, I may not always maintain good control over my blood sugar later in the evening between balancing yoga class, exercise, dinner, going to a movie with a friend, etc.
And that's okay.
The important thing, though, I think, is that you realize this disease does take a lot of work. And in the end, YOU are the only one who can help yourself make the major changes that will lead to feeling healthy.
Doctors can tell you how much insulin you need, your mom can remind you to change your pump infusion or to take your lantus, but in the end, YOU are the one who is in control of it all. And that's a lot of responsibility, but if you think about it one day at a time, you can do it. Maybe not perfectly, but that's okay. But you've got to keep trying.
If one attempt or method doesn't help you get back on track, don't give up--find a new method, find a new doctor, try a different insulin, try insulin pens or syringes or the pump or the continuous glucose monitor. There are so many options for you and so many people willing to help you help yourself.
Either way, you get a handful of points every day for just getting through the day with Type 1 Diabetes, because it's a big-time responsibility, no matter what age we are.
Do you think you can keep trying?
-Ginger
I understand what you are saying...I just went through my honeymoon stage for so long that it has gotten really hard for me to get back into the flow of things, and that was nearly a year ago! I mean like i have said before, i'm not the only child in my house and of course my mom when she goes to the store she buys all this junk and i'm very VERY tempted by all that junk...and I just feel like i'm put on the back burner when she goes to the store to buy food...cause if the right/healthy food isn't there for me to eat then i will simply just pig out on the worst things possible for me, cause that's all that's there. I'm really bad at portioning how much I eat also. I want to start going to a gym because i can feel myself being out of shape and things like that, but i have no one willing to go with me and be a helping hand. Pretty much in a nutshell, I feel like i'm going through this all alone....and i think that's the part that makes it so hard for me to concentrate on really getting in right. This website is pretty much all i have to keep me sane when it comes to my diabetes. :/
I understand what you are saying...I just went through my honeymoon stage for so long that it has gotten really hard for me to get back into the flow of things, and that was nearly a year ago! I mean like i have said before, i'm not the only child in my house and of course my mom when she goes to the store she buys all this junk and i'm very VERY tempted by all that junk...and I just feel like i'm put on the back burner when she goes to the store to buy food...cause if the right/healthy food isn't there for me to eat then i will simply just pig out on the worst things possible for me, cause that's all that's there. I'm really bad at portioning how much I eat also. I want to start going to a gym because i can feel myself being out of shape and things like that, but i have no one willing to go with me and be a helping hand. Pretty much in a nutshell, I feel like i'm going through this all alone....and i think that's the part that makes it so hard for me to concentrate on really getting in right. This website is pretty much all i have to keep me sane when it comes to my diabetes. :/
Ahh, I know what you mean about being in a home full of cookies and chips! I had 3 brothers and their friends were always at our house so we had lots of junk food to feed everybody...and resisting it is hard, challenging. Still though, that aspect relies on willpower. And that's hard because if you do choose the good food instead of the junk, there isn't any immediate reward or pat on the back--it's simply knowing you made a good choice and your blood sugar, I'm sure, thanks you too. And that's hard to remember and to use as a motivation tool, but it's definitely the best one we've got as people with diabetes.
Do you think there are group fitness classes at your gym? Pilates or yoga or Zumba? That would be a great start to not having to workout on your own.
Can you ask a friend to go for a walk with you after dinner? (Walking is great exercise even though it feels so mellow. I walk a couple hours a day to burn fat and help maintain my blood sugars. Bring glucose tabs with you, though!)
-Ginger
Ah you're tellin me! That's partially why I can't wait till my 18th birthday because then I will be able to get my own place and then I will be able to buy my own food and all the good things that I need to eat and not a whole bunch of junk. But I don't have my license yet and I can't get a car until after I graduate that's why it's such a pain to try and find someone who wants to go to the gym with me cause all my friends are like oh well i don't need to go or you know things like that.
And I love walking! Is that really affective? Even though it seems so...non affective? Haha.
Thank you so much for listening to my whine and complain, I really appreciate it.
Ohh that's exciting you'll be 18 soon! Freedom to make all of your own decisions! Woo!
Walking actually burns more fat than running because when you run you do burn a lot of calories but they come most from the the glycogen in your muscles and the sugar in your blood (which is why we need carbs before we run).
Walking, however, burns fat to fuel your body because your heart rate isn't as high therefore more oxygen can get to your muscles and other cells. If you walk at a steady (not too fast or "powerwalking" pace) you can burn fat and not worry so much about keeping your blood sugar high enough because you're using fat for fuel and not sugar. I promise! It's science, baby! Keep it up!
-Ginger