Family partners are in fact so closely linked, Professor Fisher says, that if one of them has diabetes or is obese, the other is at an increased risk of getting the condition or the weight. If one of them eats too much fat or too many carbs, the other is likely to do the same. The positive side of that equation is that when one partner loses weight, the other one will do better than before.

Thus the partner without diabetes has both an individual as well as a caring reason to help the other one. Reading between the lines, to me this means that the best thing that family partners of people with diabetes can do is to lead by example.

The best strategy is to show, rather than tell, your partner with diabetes how to control it by eating sensibly, losing weight, and exercising. These are what everyone, whether he or she has diabetes or not, needs to do in order to maximize his or her health.

Instead of asking me or a Certified Diabetes Educator to straighten out your spouse, it’s in your power to lead him there. Like the proverbial horse, you can’t make him drink. But no words from a third party who has never met your spouse are as likely to have as positive an effect as the light snowflakes of your advice given in the form of your healthful example.