Mood Swings and Effect on Relationship

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Wednesday, April 23, 2008
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Somewhere in this thread, I noticed someone mentioned how difficult it is to find any information on mood swings and diabetes. I have searched a few times and for whatever reason I found this exchange today, much to my relief. My husband and I have been married for 15 years but together si...

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mood swings
Annie Sloan Henderson
Thursday, April 24, 2008 at 10:05 AM

I was recently (six months) dianoysed type 2 diabetes. I too have mood swings, depression, crying without cause. My daughter who is a nurse noticed it and accompanied me to my doctor whose only solution was to increase my Xanax for panic attacks. Apparently there isn't a lot of research on this side effect of diabetes, it is bad enough to have check my sugar level numerous times daily and carry around an emergency kit of insulin for the highs and glucose tablets for the low levels. That is enough to cause a certain amount of anger and depression. I made an appointment with a counselor to discuss my feelings about the limititations this puts on my life. My best wishes and prayers to you and your husband because this isn't an individual disease, it effects everyone who loves you.

Annie

DIABETIC MOOD SWINGS
Anonymous
Thursday, June 05, 2008 at 09:14 AM

Karen, thank you for validating the mood swings diabetics certainly have. I am still trying to convince my children that their father truly loved them, and that it was his illness which caused him to speak to them so harshly, and act in such an aggressive manner to me, and to them, seemingly out of the blue.

I think when he finally accepted, and got, greater control over his diabetes, late, but in time for our younger children not to experience the trauma that the older ones did, life was much calmer, and loving. Have patience, and love, and forgiveness for him,and "there but for the grace of God go I" acceptance, and keep the sugar under strict control, and things WILL81704 get better. Love...E

re: DIABETIC MOOD SWINGS
carden
Thursday, October 15, 2009 at 06:02 AM
My husband been diabetic since he was two - we been married for 9 years and together since school, he too gets mood swings a lot of which he has no idea he is like it and its pulling me apart! I have other issues of a special needs child to deal with and im finding it so hard to deal with everything! So I synpathise completly with you xxxx

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kbk
Saturday, July 05, 2008 at 05:48 PM

Karen - I understand how you feel. It is very difficult, if somewhat impossible to find anything on the web on this subject. There should be a "Family of Diabetics" type of place we can go to, but I haven't ever found one. My husband gets severe mood swings, to where it changes his personality. It is very scary. I have learned to live through them so to speak and back down and try to just lie low. We have a child and it is hard. He tiptoes around when his dad gets like this. How sad that at such a young age our son sees it too. I don't know what to do anymore. Divorce? I don't know. I'm living through it again this weekend. My husband just does whatever he wants when he gets in these moods even though I ask him not to (like drives, mows or whatever). He stumbles, passes out on the couch, falls asleep sitting up, and has bad mood swings. He gets better after a few days and feels remorse over what he has done the last few days (yelling or whatever) and vows to do better. He will try, but slips back into the same habits. It's a vicious cycle. You love them, don't want anything to happen to them, yet at the same time I am starting to despise him for what he is putting our family through. It is somewhat helpful to know there are others out there, and it makes me wonder how many ARE actually out there that haven't tried to come forward or search for help. So many people focus on keeping the diabetic person healthy, they need to branch out in keeping the relationship with the diabetic healthy as well.

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C Penny
Saturday, July 05, 2008 at 11:31 PM

Wow...I'm not crazy and not alone? I am the one in this relationship with the diabetes and it's pure and total hell....I don't feel I have ANY control whatsoever when these moods hit....

Before I realize what's happening the damage is done, the fight is on and things only go from bad to worse right then and there...I totally wish I could just crawl in a hole and stay there forever afterwards. I feel soooooo horrible but at the same time I feel some anger too and I'm not sure why.

I don't feel I have support at home though that is for sure...my partner has many of her own problems (not diagnosed yet but chronic pain is very apparent which then led to severe depression) and has never had either the ability or didn't take the time to learn anything about my condition.

Hang on to your loved ones with all that you have and know that if they even feel the slightest bit of what I feel then losing their loved ones would be the end for them. There are no words to describe how I feel after I've had an episode but I feel horrid! I usually stand there for a moment scratching my head like, what on earth just happened and how did I get there yet again? I'm am very hard on myself and usually end up calling myself all sorts of names in my own mind....yet I have no understanding of why it happened or why I felt that way. The one thing I am realizing though is it's not just me this is happening to...there are many of us and not enough information on these mood swings.

Before the diabetes I was not like this and had no acceptance for people that were...now isn't that a contradictory statement..but it's true! *sighs*

I can only keep pluggin away and hope that I get this under control before I have no one left in my life...

CP

Is there hope?
Fustrated
Friday, August 01, 2008 at 06:17 AM

I totally understand the fustration when dealing with the mood swings. I too have been with my diabetic partner for 11 years and we have a beautiful daughter, but am fighting with the idea of leaving the situation. It's so comforting to read that others are experiencing this and I'm not crazy. My husband has type 1 and is insulin dependent and is very poorly controlled due to lack of good insurance coverage. His mood swings can also get very abusive and very scary, that I fear for my safety at times because of the threats. It is sad that someone you love so much can be so horrible then be extremelly sorry in a few days. I don't know if I can stay much longer!

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melissa
Tuesday, August 05, 2008 at 12:03 PM

im a diabetic who has been suffering with changes in my moods and i wasnt able to figure out why.i just got married and it reallyis hard on my husband. he cant understand and i cant explain it ! is there anything out there to help? i want to say my marriage an my sanity.ive only been a diabetic for about 3 years so its still all new to me .

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L-Cat
Friday, November 14, 2008 at 12:14 PM

     My boyfriend and I have been together for four years now. He is a type 1 diabetic and has been since he was about 3 years old. He often gets hostile and argumentative when his bloodsugar is high. He can be an extremely scary person. He has thrown things, slammed doors, and screamed. He has even resorted to hurting himself so that he will not hurt others.

     In the beginning, this behavior scared me and I would leave or backdown. I didn't want to argue with him. He has told me many times that when his sugar is high, he feels like he can not control his anger. I was starting to feel like I couldn't take it anymore. Eventually, we had a sit down and talked about how we both felt at these times. We agreed that I couldn't backdown on these rages. He asked me to make him test when he became unreasonable, even if it was scary and he didn't want to. I had to be firm. He is almost always high durring these times, and seeing the number and focussing on how to fix that problem usualy helps to calm him down. Recently, I have suggested that he see a counsilor or anger management therapist.

     I don't know if this helps or not, but just being on the same page and being able to talk about his anger helped make things a little better for us. I know it can be scary and I know how it feels to wonder if you can handle this or if you need to leave the relationship, but in the end, communication really does a lot to help the situation. My relationship with him will always be a struggle and I'm sure it might be easier in some ways with someone who is not diabetic, but as long as we talk to eachother, I feel like we will be ok.

re: Thanks for the insight
CS
Sunday, November 30, 2008 at 02:20 AM

I recently started dating a guy who is an insulin-dependent diabetic...he has a heart of gold and is so sweet most of the time, but there have been several occasions where he gets so angry that its scary...he gets emotionally abusive and its like he's having a temper tantrum...a friend of mine suggested that I do some research online about it as her son is a diabetic and he has these mood swings as well...since this relationship is so new, I wasn't sure what to do because I have never experienced anything like this...I don't want to just walk away and I'm not sure what I will do, but it does help to read that other people have experienced this as well. Any insight would be helpful. Thanks.

re: Untitled Comment
Epiphany
Monday, May 11, 2009 at 02:44 PM

My Boyfriend does the same thing but he refuses to do anything about it. He does not care about his health he says we all gotta go sometime and keeps eating loads of sugar and things he should not. I believe that he is so scared that he has to change his life and will not have fun anymore. I am scared that one day he will just have a stroke or he will go into a coma. I feel like I can not be with someone who does not care about his life or the lives that he will affect if he get seriously ill or dies. It is comlpicated but like I said his outburst are frightening and they are cruel to me and that is abuse. I have told him when it is calm how I feel but he says that I should just get out of the way or toughen up. But how can I do that if he makes me feel like a dog in the street. I am hurt and disappointed in the way things are and I don't deserve it.

Diabetes and Mood swings
Loretta Anderson
Thursday, December 04, 2008 at 07:24 PM

My husband too was diagnosed with type two diabetes. After 8 months of symtoms he was finally convinced to go to the doctors when a friend of mine who's husband,also a diabetic tested my husbands blood sugar at almost 400. It has been about 7 months ago since his first visit to the doctors.

He has been on Metmorphone, Glipizide, a prescription for Nuerapathy for numbness in his fingers and 4 months ago was put on Bieta injections which he takes daily.

As recent as 1 month ago I have noticed an extreme differance in his behavior with extreme outbursts and rude comments and he has become easily upset over the simplest of things. He is umbearable at time's an it has created quite a termoil in our marraige. It is so nice to communicate with someone who is going thru the same thing. I have felt so isolated and have relied mainly on support from my friends.

I know what you are going through
MM425
Monday, December 29, 2008 at 03:09 PM

I have been married for 3 years. My husband has had type two diabetes. Right now our marriage is on the rocks. We have a five month old son and I don't want him growing up with a father that can not control his temper. I am a mother now and have to think of my son and probably leave my husband. I dont want him to fear his father. He gets verbally abusive and I can not take it anymore. He won't listen when I try to talk with him. He was actually in the hospital for a week because he was mentally unstable. I don't know what to do. Should I leave or work this out?? I am tired of this and really want out. he isn't the man i married and I keep thinking what if he gets worse. He doesn't help me with the baby and basically acts as if the baby is not even there. I feel more bad for my son than our marriage not making it.

re: I know what you are going through
Anonymous
Friday, March 27, 2009 at 03:28 PM

Wow, me and my husband had a hugh blow out last night because of his behavior. It was the worst ever. After the major fighting episode that took place, in from my 7 year old son, we were able to sit down and discuss what had happened. I wanted to go online to see if the high blood sugars were what was really causing this behaviors or if this is just the way he is. For a minute I thought it had to bipolor or something. He's temper has gotten so much worse. We found his website and after both of us reading all these issues others were having, our eyes were full of tears. My husband is type 1 and on dialysis. Today he asked his doctor why he was blowing up and so angry and the doctor told him because the poisens are not leaving his body. That means he needs to have dialysis for a longer amount of time to get rid of all this poisen in his body. I'm really hoping this will work because I will not put myself or my son through what happened last night. I know it's not his fault but it's not our fault either and my son is my #1 priority. I cannot beleive they have not come up with some kind of medicatin to help with the mood swings. They have meds for everythings else.

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Concerned
Sunday, January 04, 2009 at 07:23 AM

Karen .

Same situation with my mom she was diagnosed 3 years ago after she had almost went into we now know a coma.She would not let my dad call an ambulance or doctor.I have panic disorder so of course in there opinion I was overreacting it took me quite a battle to get her to agree to go.Had she not she would be gone. As with your husband It was also unclear if she is type 1 or 2.

I was there & supportive for my mom through everything.I will add I don't think she is honest with her doctor and she is of the opinion that she knows more then him ( from the internet).When he agress with her he is the best yada yada and when he does not she says he did anyways or he doe snot know what he is talking about.He is actually the best in this area.

She started to make mean hurtful comments and forget she said them /accuse me of lying,bouts of anger and then guilt tripping me im causing lows etc..very narcissistic type behavior and my dad buys it all.

I have been walking on eggshells for years.In the meantime I was diagnosed myself with type 2 . For myself it was more of a thank goodness now I know what is wrong & can fight it ,as I had felt bad for years and it was always blamed on my panic.( I belive now the panic was caused by sugar) I took a very positive attitude as my doc gave me time to try diet and exercise.She was being herself again and supportive.

One day I called her because I had something on my foot( ended up being a blood blister) and was worried she was being very supportive and actually overly happy ,then out of the blue she went on a tangent insisting I am not diabetic I made it up or my doctor is a quack.Me and my panic disorder next I will be telling her I have cancer, when she is the one who is truly sick and could die.That I never gave a darn about her diabetes & now all of a sudden its all about me.She called and hung up on me 3 times.Told my father I hung up on her and caused her to have a low.She has not spoken to me and neither have returned calls in 3 months.This is the short version much more was said.

I too did searches,forums , even asked doctors if this was a result of her diabetes with no answers.In a weird way it is comforting finding this thread knowing im not alone and its likely illness caused vs on purpose or me being positive rubbing her wrong if that makes any sense at all.

As someone mentioned it would be great if we had a support group or forum.

Diabetic and Mood Swings
meron
Friday, February 27, 2009 at 10:26 PM

It is comforting to know that I am not alone. I lost my father about 2 weeks from complication of diabetes. He lived with the disease for over 30 years. After reading all of the comments, I realized that my family (my mother and my brother) went through hell but never understood that his mood swings were due to his disease..He was extremely abusive both physically and verbally, which resulted in my mother living him. He yelled at people for no apparent reasons, he thinks people are out there to get him and does not trust a soul.

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Anonymous
Monday, May 25, 2009 at 02:15 AM

My husband is a Type 1 diabetic. He has been a diabetic for 18 years. We have been married for 15 years. Over the last several years, I have found myself living with a virtual stranger. Much like the other responses, he has sudden and EXTREME anger outbursts and is very verbally and emotionally abusive. I am at my wits end. I have tried talking to him. While he acknowledges and even appologizes for his behavior, he either does not really remember all the things he says and does or is too afraid to admit it to himself and therefore does not take my concerns as seriously as he should. Fortunately, we have good health insurance through my job. He goes to his doctor regularly and takes his medicine. He is pretty good about following his diet and eating right, but he is not perfect and does eat the wrong things sometimes. His sugar is in constant flux- up and down- no matter what he does. It is extremely hard our two children and I find myself desperate for answers. I have considered leaving many times, but feel guilty because I too think it has something to do with the diabetes. I have searched and searched for studies or articles on the subject, but have found nothing. It is a comfort to know I am not alone and that my suspicions about the diabetes causing my husband's behavior is shared by others. You would think with all the research into diabetes, this would be a worthy topic of exploration. I just pray- A LOT- and trust that God will lead the way for me and my family. Please if anyone reading this knows of any research regarding mood swings and diabetes, post links.

re: Untitled Comment
Anonymous
Wednesday, May 27, 2009 at 07:33 AM

I dont know if this will help my situation reading about all of these other women going through what i thought was something that only me and my children were going through !! My partner of 2 years is Type 1 diabetic and has been for 28 years and im horrified and frightened sometimes at just how cruel and nasty his outbursts can be, he is unreasonable and gets angry at the most smallest of things. Im not sure if he can or will ever change. Unfortunatley as he has been diabetic for so long HE KNOWS BEST!! He constantly tells me its me and wont ever admit to his wrong doings, I am not the sort of person who backs down when im not in the wrong but find myself becoming quite quiet and submissive more and more so as not to antagonise him, im not sure if this is the right or wrong way to be anymore as I feel im fighting a losing battle.

My Boyfriend
Anonymous
Friday, June 05, 2009 at 02:06 PM

I am so greatful that I found this website! Reading these comments have made me see I am not the only person that is going through this. My boyfriend of 5 years has battled type 1 diabetes since childhood. He too is prone to moody/dramatic behavior. I also never wanted to make situations worse when he gets into these fits. I just always felt bad about feeling sad or angry towards him, because I have no idea what it is like to expereice a disease every single day. It is beneficial to understand that these moods do not go away with time. For the partners of diabetics with children I really admire the   
Strength it takes to face this situation everyday! Thank you for sharing your stories.

Diabetic mood swings
Anonymous
Sunday, July 19, 2009 at 06:00 AM

Hi all.

My name is Donna. I`m from NZ but live in Oregon. Yes its wonderful to know we`re not alone, but sadly all in the same boat. My husband is American and has been diabetic since he was under 2 years of age. He is now 46 years old.

I thought I was going insane watching and experiencing incredible mood swings in him. I couldn`t and still struggle to accept how can it be that he can be one person one minute and someone totally different the next !! The effect it`s had on me is that I have recently pulled back from my husband as its easier for me to love him from a distance now.

I knew diabetes causes horrible problems for the body, but thought the mental and emotional changes in him may be due to bypolar or some other mental disorder. In the last month I decided to start searching the web to find out further info. No there isn`t much about the emtional effects brought on by diabetes, but I tell you I`m so relieved to find all your posts !!

Thank God as at least I now know others are experiencing similar problems, which must mean we aren`t going nuts lol and this really is apart of diabetes !!This disease is nasty in more ways than one. My husband has just been diagnosed with vascular disease. He also has a ulcer on his big toe that won`t heal. As of Monday we go to hospital for a Autiogram to decide what they can do for his circulation. If they can`t help him we face the possibility of future amputation.The impact of all this is making my mind spin and the only place I get any relief is when I hand this over to God xxx

If anyone has anything helpful to suggest I`m all ears. And my only suggestion to you all is.......... stay strong and trust God.

re: Diabetic mood swings
Just a girl
Friday, September 25, 2009 at 12:23 AM

My long term boyfriend (we've been together for years) has recently been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and is totally insulin dependent. I saw him go from relatively nice to out of control with his anger, rude comments, etc. I am a sensitive person and this type of behavior has made me suffer greatly. The amount of times I've cried over his outbursts is impossible to count. He now seems a bit better mood wise but he cannot remember what I said even seconds later if his blood sugar is high or low. He gets angry quickly and freaks out. I love him very much but sometimes I don't know how I will be able to handle it in the future.

re: re: Diabetic mood swings
Anonymous
Friday, September 25, 2009 at 10:07 AM

To Just a girl,

I hear you and its tough going !! My Husband ended up having a bypass due to a blockage in his leg which slowed the blood flow nessacary for healing to his toe. Things look better now and he`s on the mend. I think being able to talk honestly with each other about our feelings has helped us a lot. The mood swings aren`t easy to deal with but I now make sure I clearly tell my husband how it effects me. They need to know its not all about them , we too are being dragged through this nightmare.

Take time out for yourself........... especially when you most need it. I strongly suggest your boyfriend have good health insurance. Diabetic care is very expensive !!! Also be very careful that you have a well informed diabetic doctor who knows his stuff. Not being informed correctly from a so called experienced doctor nearly cost my husband his leg............no joke !! Please don`t hesitate to contact me if I can be of any further help to you.

Hang in there girl

Donna

wow
Anonymous
Tuesday, October 13, 2009 at 05:35 PM

Hello Everyone,

I really thought I was crazy too, I been married for 8 years and my husband got type 2 diabetes in about 3 years ago, in the begining we where good but now he's getting very angry and his comments are huntfull. I thought was me because we had a hard begining in our marriage and I was'nt very nice, but since we work together and he is nasty with everybody at work. I don't think it's me, of course he doesn't see it, he blems me for everything bad or sad that is happenong in his live at the moment and in the past size we had a hard begining.

Does anyone has any sugestions....

re: wow
CARDEN77
Thursday, October 15, 2009 at 11:10 AM

I really wish I had the answer ....! As I know exactly where your coming from! My husband is the same, he is certainly not the man I married!!

He is snappy at me and his mood can swing from being lovely to dam right nasty in the wink of an eye! and worst thing is there is nothing I can do or say as he doesnt know he is even doing it, he blames me for being moody if I do say anything! I cant win!

I just wish I knew what to do for the best now as my kids dont need this, its not fair, and to be honest how can you love someone the same when they treat u like this, although I know its not him it still pushes you away, its hard to get what we had back!

If you did get any advice I would be grateful for any, as I have been asking for help from everyone I can think off but no one seems to want to help me!

Mood Swings
Rev UK
Monday, November 16, 2009 at 05:54 AM

This page has been a real comfort to me, my partner of 4 years is a type 1 and has been since she was nine.

Up until the last few months she has been moody but no more than most people, the odd session but you could live with it, I have the odd mood too I'm only human also!

I kept thinking what am i doing wrong which is upsetting her so much and making her so moody? We have just moved into a new home and should be really happy but she has been being picky and argumentative for no reason. The way she is, if I gave her £500 in five pound notes she would only complain that the pile was too big and why didn't I give her £20 notes if I was going to give her something! Forget the nice gesture, just me doing wrong yet again!

Reading the comments here has been a comfort because it makes me realise that a lot of what is going on is not down to me but it is also something that she isn't intentionally doing.

I have come back to the house twice in the last week and found her having a hypo. I had to call the ambulance last Sunday as I needed a third hand to give her a Glucagon jab and couldn't hold her down, this happened again on the following Tuesday, but this time I managed to inject her on my own, this is the first time she has needed a jab in 12 years so it was a shock to me.

She has just got on with everything and doesn't consider the effect that saving her life twice in 3 days has had on me, as I am sure people here will have been through the same things many times, it is a shock to the loved ones who then seem to be subjected to the mood swings that follow as they sort out their levels after a hypo.

My patience is wearing thin, I love her but there is only so much anyone can take, once again it has been good to read the comments here, they have given me an uplift even by just being able to share these couple of sentences with people in the same boat.

Thanks