Mood Swings and Effect on Relationship

Karen Community Member
  • Somewhere in this thread, I noticed someone mentioned how difficult it is to find any information on mood swings and diabetes. I have searched a few times and for whatever reason I found this exchange today, much to my relief.  My husband and I have been married for 15 years but together since high school over  20 years ago.  A few months after our first child was born about 10 years ago - he developed suddenly diabetes.  Without getting into the details and confusion, it was not clear if it was Type 1, Type 2 but he is insulin dependent.  To his credit he immediately adjusted his lifestyle and is under tight control, but of course it is virtually impossible, even being very vigilant, to avoid all lows and highs. He visits his 2 doctors regularly, follows a good diet (most of the time, we are all human) and is very aware of the long-term effects to avoid.  However, since being diagnosed and even more so over the last 5 years it seems to me that he has very severe mood swings, is irritable and impatient - a completely different person than the one I married.  We now have 3 children and I can only explain the drastic personality shift on his diabetes.  I can see his lows and I sympathize with those who say their husband is defensive and angry at the suggestion that he check his bloodsugar.  I also am concerned that he is able to detect them less and less.  Last night though, I am certain that it was a sudden increase that was the reason for his mood - I could hear his mood change in the way that he spoke to the kids and basically fell apart. I convinced him to check his blood sugar being certain it was low, but it was high. 

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    I am less and less tolerant, and more and more angry, he refuses to acknowledge it, and none of this is good.

     

    Does anyone else have this experience? Or maybe, he really is a different person now and there is no link.

     

Published On: April 23, 2008
418 Comments
  • Asmith1970
    Aug. 31, 2016
    I'm a type 1 diabetic had it since I was 25 now I'm 46 and my mood swing are getting everybody in the house down . I can be OK one minute then anything can make me fly off the handle I don't know what to do or if I can be helped or should I just leave my wife and daughter they would be better off without me and deserve better
  • cindyhardgrave68
    Aug. 13, 2016
    My husband and I have been together for 15 years. he was diagnosed with diabetes before I met him he takes two shots of insulin per day one of the morning and one in the evening. I have saved his life three times because his sugar had dropped. I have begged him to go to the doctor and it turns into a fight every single time. I am at the end of my rope he had...
    RHMLucky777
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    My husband and I have been together for 15 years. he was diagnosed with diabetes before I met him he takes two shots of insulin per day one of the morning and one in the evening. I have saved his life three times because his sugar had dropped. I have begged him to go to the doctor and it turns into a fight every single time. I am at the end of my rope he had a I appointment three months ago and they found busted blood vessel's. He told the eye doctor that he would see if physician three months later and he hasn't yet his eye appointment was yesterday for a recheck and he canceled it. I seriously don't know how much longer that I can watch The man that I love self-destruct. So yes I found this and asking for help on what to do.
  • glorietalabs
    Aug. 09, 2016
    I'm at the end of my rope. Husband, type 1, dangerous when low. Refuses to acknowledge, says it's a "communication issue." He is literally out of his mind and out of control when it happens. No matter how calm I am he escalates. It is terrifying and I'm out of sympathy. He's going to hurt himself, me, our kids, or someone else. He will not hear it from me that...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    I'm at the end of my rope. Husband, type 1, dangerous when low. Refuses to acknowledge, says it's a "communication issue." He is literally out of his mind and out of control when it happens. No matter how calm I am he escalates. It is terrifying and I'm out of sympathy. He's going to hurt himself, me, our kids, or someone else. He will not hear it from me that he is dangerous no matter how gently, imploringly, submissively, compassionately I phrase it. I'm done. 10 years of this growing into something intolerable.
  • aspence
    Aug. 09, 2016
    My Father is 77 and when he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes his blood sugar was too high to test. He spent a couple of months learning to use his insulin. But, lately he is so hungry that he needs breakfast fast. Then at lunch he wants all you can eat. And lots of ice cream and cookies. I am so worried about him but he told me to stay out of his and my...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    My Father is 77 and when he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes his blood sugar was too high to test. He spent a couple of months learning to use his insulin. But, lately he is so hungry that he needs breakfast fast. Then at lunch he wants all you can eat. And lots of ice cream and cookies. I am so worried about him but he told me to stay out of his and my Mom"s life. My Mother is bed ridden and he is abusing her for money. I don't know what to do. He juices on insulin and gets drunk on Heineken in the afternoon. I know his blood sugar is off the charts. What can I do?
  • dianejdavies22
    Jul. 29, 2016
    Its so good to read all of these notes, I thought it was just me... my husband was such a nice happy easy going guy. I have out up with his lack of libido over the last 5 years and its been a struggle. but now he is very moody and flies off the handle for no reason I feel so very sad. He wont go to the gp and I don't know how much longer I want to walk on egg...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    Its so good to read all of these notes, I thought it was just me... my husband was such a nice happy easy going guy. I have out up with his lack of libido over the last 5 years and its been a struggle. but now he is very moody and flies off the handle for no reason I feel so very sad. He wont go to the gp and I don't know how much longer I want to walk on egg shells around him. What can I do??
    • Emeliz
      Aug. 01, 2016
      Its sad your are going through this. I have been in the same situation exactly. 10 years of it. Its enough to drive you crazy. No advice here..Just an ' i hear you'. Hugs...
    • floresfamily4455
      Aug. 30, 2016
      Yea my husband is the same way!!!! He used to be kind, loving, and easy going. Now he's a ........ (you can fill in the blank). He flips out for little things and expects a pity party after he tears up the place. His emotions are so out of control. I couldn't take it anymore so I kicked him out, which wasn't a good idea because it back fired on me. I miss him,...
      RHMLucky777
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      Yea my husband is the same way!!!! He used to be kind, loving, and easy going. Now he's a ........ (you can fill in the blank). He flips out for little things and expects a pity party after he tears up the place. His emotions are so out of control. I couldn't take it anymore so I kicked him out, which wasn't a good idea because it back fired on me. I miss him, but I wish he was the man that loved me more than anything.
  • Cat821
    Jun. 28, 2016
    Help
  • Monarchmom3
    Jun. 06, 2016
    I've been married six years and for the last three or four years my Husband has had type 2 diabetes. I've seen the pattern of bad moods,irritability,impatients,short temper when he skips a meal like just eats breakfast and then doesn't eat until dinner. He turns into a monster and his mood swings are horrible. His memory has also been very much affected by...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    I've been married six years and for the last three or four years my Husband has had type 2 diabetes. I've seen the pattern of bad moods,irritability,impatients,short temper when he skips a meal like just eats breakfast and then doesn't eat until dinner. He turns into a monster and his mood swings are horrible. His memory has also been very much affected by all the medications. Yesterday I was actually afraid when I was driving with him because he was so aggressive and nasty and inpatient. I know he did something he loves to do all morning which is fishing which usually relaxes him but yesterday he skipped lunch and didn't eat for like 10 hours straight and today I realized that that was his problem yesterday. He also has a stepson that drives him crazy and sets him off and anything I say in my sons defense Turns into a war and he won't listen to anyone else's side,especially when he hasn't eaten. Anything I say just turns into a big argument and he's very defensive and blaming and those things that he would never do if he's in a good mood or is eaten regularly. It's like he turns into a hurricane and the only way to deal with him is to not deal with him and I'll just leave the house. I'm going to try and keep closer track of him when he doesn't eat and suggest he eat or start making food for him or have him check his blood sugar is possible. I'm so glad I found this thread on the subject because I've been searching for a while and found nothing until today. If I can go to his doctor appointment with him next time I might bring this up because if I Ask him to mention it he will deny his mood swings or just forget. The memory issue is becoming pretty bad and scary. He knows his memory is bad and that makes him angry too. I need to talk to him today about this if he gets mad he gets mad. Although he denies it he's a very controlling person being an ex army sergeant and doesn't help because he's been trained and it's very hard to break him out of this and really listen to you. My son who is 26 and still living at home who is very quiet in ignores things we say is driving him crazy and driving me crazy. My son has a mental illness but my husband doesn't want to recognize it and sees it is defying him constantly. Anyway that's a whole other subject but I really noticed a change in his personality after getting type 2 diabetes and skipping meals. Whenever we have a very bad day and he hasn't eaten for 10 hours or several hours and it's become a definite pattern. Just wanted to share this to help others.
    • Maggie
      Jun. 12, 2016
      You definitely need to talk with his Dr. and be very open and honest. That is the only way the Dr. can help. I don't know whether your husband has not been taught what he needs to do, or if he just doesn't do it, but the proper treatment for diabetes is keeping blood sugar constant, and that means eating at regular intervals, and taking his meds properly. If...
      RHMLucky777
      Read More
      You definitely need to talk with his Dr. and be very open and honest. That is the only way the Dr. can help. I don't know whether your husband has not been taught what he needs to do, or if he just doesn't do it, but the proper treatment for diabetes is keeping blood sugar constant, and that means eating at regular intervals, and taking his meds properly. If he is not eating for that many hours, he is probably trying to keep his sugar low. He is probably deathly afraid of high blood sugar, but this is not the answer. The brain runs on glucose only. It needs a steady, even supply. It sounds like your husband has not been taught properly about his diabetes. The right food is very important. He needs to eat foods that keep his sugar steady. Slow burning carbs are the answer. Also, find out about each med and how they work. They all work in different ways. It's different than insulin. If he is not using a glucose monitor, he doesn't know what he is doing. If he is only going by the Dr.s A1c test, he is in trouble. That is just an average reading for a few months and even if it's okay, that doesn't mean he is. The daily highs and lows are just as dangerous,but his doctor doesn't see them, and has no way of knowing, if no one tells him. Your husband is still at risk for all the complications if his daily sugar levels rise and fall. Starving his brain of glucose is not good. Education is key, and you need to be involved. Anti depressants can help, too. If your husband is worried about his memory, he should be. Type 2 Diabetes is complicated. The meds work indirectly, and they all work differently. It's not like aspirin for a headache. He is dealing with a disease that can affect his ability to be self-aware. Your imput is important. Don't hesitate to speak up to his doctor. Do it for his welfare as much as your own. You KNOW he is not going to tell the Dr. about these things, but it's a disease. The Dr.needs to know. This will not get better without you getting involved.
  • Stumbo
    May. 14, 2016
    A recent change I made (that is really helping me reduce side effects) due to taking several medications, when there is more than one pill for a specific medication, is to take them a 1/2 hour to 1 hour apart. Another option is to ask your doctor to prescribe two pills instead of one (where that is possible) and split taking them to see if that helps reduce...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    A recent change I made (that is really helping me reduce side effects) due to taking several medications, when there is more than one pill for a specific medication, is to take them a 1/2 hour to 1 hour apart. Another option is to ask your doctor to prescribe two pills instead of one (where that is possible) and split taking them to see if that helps reduce side effects. I also take different medications 1/2 hour to 1 hour apart so I am only taking one pill at a time.
  • Stumbo
    May. 14, 2016
    After much personal experimenting, my mood swings (pre and post diabetes diagnosis) were caused mostly by too low B12. Based on lab results, I raised my B12 from 545 to over 1100 through supplements. Raising my B12 reduced anxiety, stopped outbursts, increased energy and stopped nail biting and picking. Add on poor quality sleep, low D3, low testosterone, low...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    After much personal experimenting, my mood swings (pre and post diabetes diagnosis) were caused mostly by too low B12. Based on lab results, I raised my B12 from 545 to over 1100 through supplements. Raising my B12 reduced anxiety, stopped outbursts, increased energy and stopped nail biting and picking. Add on poor quality sleep, low D3, low testosterone, low thyroid and you have the perfect storm for low impulse control, high irritability, unprovoked anger and responses (especially at minor things). I've had low blood glucose readings as low as 40 and as high as 350 none of which caused me to physically attack anyone, threaten, curse or bully my family or anyone else. My anger consisted of exaggerated versions of my normal self. Some yelling, arguing, walking to another room while saying "leave me alone" when my wife pointed out things I needed to be taking care of. After 8 years of working through all of the above and hit and miss relief from sadness and negative thoughts I starting taking anti-depressants with good results. My behavior has turned 180 degrees. I stay calm. I listen more. I learned what my "buttons" were. I learned that I do not have to comment on everything. I don't give advice unless someone asks for it. I stopped questioning everything everyone said. I stopped talking and asking about extended family problems which seems more like gossip. I learned to let a lot of the little things go and to rephrase my comments into suggestions, considerations and "brainstorming" on how to solve problems with my wife and family. Still, having chronic diseases is a slog, always (hour by hour, day by day, etc.) keeping track of your levels, medications, medication side effects, medication interactions, timing of taking meds, physical reactions, lab work, medication refills, picking up the refills, changing meds when you don't feel right, wondering if it really is the meds or something else or something new, reading about current research, tracking food and exercise, doctors orders, appointments, laying in bed after a night's sleep yet feeling so fatigued all you can do is lay there with your eyes closed, trying to get through the day at work yet still fatigued, questioning your behavior because you did something out of the ordinary, letting house work go, stopping visits with friends. Until tomorrow, when you start all over again, rise to the challenge and do the best you can.
  • AAXX
    May. 01, 2016
    My type 1 diabetic up and left 4 days ago. He is 32 and was diagnosed at 11. I'm so heart broken and feel sick and sad. When I met him 2 years ago he seemed like this relaxed chilled calm person. He would say the most beautiful things to me. He drunk a lot and didn't eat a lot, and ate lollies and chips and popcorn and when he was drunk that's when his moods...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    My type 1 diabetic up and left 4 days ago. He is 32 and was diagnosed at 11. I'm so heart broken and feel sick and sad. When I met him 2 years ago he seemed like this relaxed chilled calm person. He would say the most beautiful things to me. He drunk a lot and didn't eat a lot, and ate lollies and chips and popcorn and when he was drunk that's when his moods were mental. he would say things like your just a bi**chhhhhhh.....your a di*k.....your thicker than that piece of blank wood there. Your kids are spoilt brats. your daughter is a bi*ch and your son is going to be some lunactic angry man when he grows up. I HATE YOU! I DONT LIKE YOU! F**K OFF, (right in my face) Your two old. I'm 38. Your lazy, your not a good mum, blah blah. sometimes when he spoke to me badly my daughter (19) would have enough and tell him to shut the fuck up,stop talking to mum like that she loves you, ( of course her doing this made it worse) he then started saying that no one in the house had any respect for him. no one loves him I didn't love him and I even love my dog more than him. every argument was my fault. the next day he would blame me and say I said this or that but that was actually never the case. he would sleep a lot and in 5 months has had 3 different jobs and then just up and walks out because everyone is a cu** his money would be spent on smokes, booze and gambling and would usually always be gone the day he got paid. he didn't even want to do anything but drink and gamble, or drink and I would walk the dog by myself at the park or beach while he sat in the car drinking beer. he didn't want to do anything, ever and said that life is shit and boring and he cant wait to die because there is nothing to do in life and I don't know whats its like having diabetes. I tried suggesting things and he would say boring, boring nope. I only ever met 2 of his friends. I don't really think he had any. When I met him he dressed like a homeless person. He really had not a lot of clothes and all his clothes were outdated by years and years and years. I brought him new clothes and shoes while the kids and I went without new clothing that year. Countless times in two years I have woken up to him having a sugar low at whatever ridiculous time of the morning and would rush around the house getting food and sugar into him asap, although apparently I never did a thing for him. He is very depressed and very lazy. He wanted for nothing in life. I would sit and think what will happen when both my kids leave home, all he wants to do it drink and gamble. he doesn't want to travel and when we went for dinner which was rare he would sit and drink while I ate. Here are 3 big problems, the diabetes which has caused depression and hes an alcoholic which makes the depression and moods worse. I was never scared of him, he was only every verbally abusive but that was awful and again took no responsibility for it as it was my fault. Everything was.And the verbal abuse made me feel bad about myself. I thought this man was it for me for the rest of my life. I am sad and lost without him even with all his problems. he's 6'4 and weighs maybe 70kgs and said that I'm the one that makes him sick and made him lose weight. I noticed his foot was deformed, his eye sight was terrible but missed his hospital appointments and didn't go. he has dry feet and brown speckles over them and rashes over his legs and a lot of other problems with all of these problems I still loved him dearly as who am I to be judgemental at someone.Im by no means perfect. I would have even thought I knew my life with him would be nothing or go anywhere I would have stayed and looked after him even if he ended up in a wheel chair and blind. I filled his car up with petrol and brought him food to go back to another city to go to rehab as this was discussed with his mum. that's not the case as soon as he got back to his mummies he is staying with her, he has not spoken to me or answer my phone calls or texts and nor has his mother, yet she couldn't text or call me enough when he was on his way back to her. She will just buy him booze and smokes and enable it. Shes been doing this all his life. Its like everything is my fault. And sure maybe I could have been more patient, and my daughter talking to him like that when he was getting really moody and saying the most nasty things, I know she should have minded her own business, maybe I should have tried harder, and maybe I shouldn't have got so frustrated when all he would do was sleep and sleep while it was a beautiful hot summers day and the beach was a 5 min walk away and I would get angry that he wouldn't get out of bed to come to the beach or do anything, maybe I should not have got angry, I don't know but a man who said to me don't listen to me when I'm drunk I don't mean it I could never ever leave you, I couldn't live without you, to just jumping in the car when he had a full tank of gas and leaving me just like that to never speak to me again is really hurtful and heartbreaking and I have no understanding of it. I don't want to feel lost and heartbroken, its an awful feeling. I want to feel good again and get out of this bed day 4 now and stop crying and eat but I just want to lie here. I loved him with all of my everything and the sad thing is when he was sober and had eaten we were great and best friends, but he was more drunk and not eaten most of the time. I'm glad I came across this forum. I am happy and sad I have read peoples stories and cried and then thought its ok other people are going through this and its not ALL my fault. Thank you for everyones stories. My one is stubborn and I know I will never hear from him again so I will never know what has happened with him, I wish he could find happiness, I'm sad I couldn't give him that happiness he needed to live a full happy life, and when his time comes I hope he really is at peace and no more hate for life then.
    • Maggie
      May. 01, 2016
      Dear Leah-Jade12, This is the like the saddest thing I've ever read, but not for the reasons you think. Not because he left you.  I don't know if You drink, but if you do, you should stop. For good. If you drink, you should get help for yourself, before you try to help someone else.This man is an alcoholic, and he was abusive to you. How much the diabetes...
      RHMLucky777
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      Dear Leah-Jade12, This is the like the saddest thing I've ever read, but not for the reasons you think. Not because he left you.  I don't know if You drink, but if you do, you should stop. For good. If you drink, you should get help for yourself, before you try to help someone else.This man is an alcoholic, and he was abusive to you. How much the diabetes had to do with it,  you will never know, but definitely not all diabetics are alcoholics. He shouldn't have been drinking. That part is his choice. He should have eaten right. He is an adult. YOU could not help him, and you WERE not helping him. You are not qualified or trained to help him. ♡ I don't know why you would ever bring a man like that into your home, especially when you have kids. Your daughter was right to stand up to him, and I don't know why your son is so angry all the time, but it would seem there are many  reasons.  This was a terrible situation for everyone involved, and that is on you. I'm sure this man had something good about him, as most people do, but it is not your job to fix his life, and you can't. This man's mother's enabling him pales in comparrison to you, but at least she IS his mother. You are not. You HAVE kids, though, that you should be looking out for better, in stead of taking in men like this. Your priority should be your own health, and your children. This man did not physically abuse you, most likely because he was physically too weak. Thank God. If you want to help alcoholics and/or diabetic alcoholics, maybe you could go back to school for that training, but if not, leave it to the professionals, because you CANNOT do it, even if your heart is in it. If you have money to buy strangers new clothes, do it, but don't take volitale strangers into your home or your bed. ! Have you ever heard the life analogy about being on an airplane? On an airplane they tell you that in case of a problem, you need to put your own oxygen mask on first, to be able to help anyone else. I hope you will work on yourself and figure out why you think this is all you deserve from someone, and maybe read EVERYTHING you can find about abuse and alcoholism and boundaries, and self esteem and enabling others, before you even LOOK at another man. Get yourself out of that bed and to the beach, and get healthy.♡ and maybe to the library or book store, or go to amazon books. Look for books by Patricia Evans and Janet Woititz. 38 is young enough to change your life and old enough to take complete  responsibilty for it. Put your own mask on first. All the best.
    • A.
      A.
      May. 01, 2016
      I just can say that your text is really amazing, Maggie! I always read your comments and they are excellent... :) I am super sure that you are helping a lot of people here... I would love to meet you and have a long conversation...I am not okay yet...My experience dating a diabetic man is still in my mind! So I am still suffering... :( It's like a life trauma!...
      RHMLucky777
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      I just can say that your text is really amazing, Maggie! I always read your comments and they are excellent... :) I am super sure that you are helping a lot of people here... I would love to meet you and have a long conversation...I am not okay yet...My experience dating a diabetic man is still in my mind! So I am still suffering... :( It's like a life trauma! I really need a couple of advices to start living my life again...It seems that he got all my energy! I know that it will pass...one day...everything pass! Have a wonderful sunday! My best for you... A.
    • Maggie
      May. 02, 2016
      A. :) I'm not sure if I am helping anyone else, but if I am helping you that's great. I left you a nrw reply under your original comment.
    • A.
      A.
      May. 02, 2016
      I wrote to you there as well, Maggie! Thanks :)))
    • wendym5413
      Aug. 29, 2016
      Apart from diabetes, this also sounds like narcissism, hence drinking, gambling. Look up utube Sam Vaknin - narcissism, there are lots of 6-10 minute videos. Dont by-pass this txt, it will also help you to understand a lot of things
  • marialove3339
    Apr. 25, 2016
    Has anyone experienced a diabetic say nasty/innappropriate things while havin high or low blood sugar? I've dated a guy with type 1 for almost two years and haven't really experienced any big mood swings or occurrences. But recently at a family get together he drank way too much and acted like a completely different person. The next day I heard from people...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    Has anyone experienced a diabetic say nasty/innappropriate things while havin high or low blood sugar? I've dated a guy with type 1 for almost two years and haven't really experienced any big mood swings or occurrences. But recently at a family get together he drank way too much and acted like a completely different person. The next day I heard from people that he said strange things to a couple females that I'm related to.. I really don't know what to think because he says he would never do that and that it"wasn't him" that it was the amount of alcohol mix with his high blood sugar. I know he's a good man and that I wouldn't expect any of this from him. But can having high blood sugar really affect someone that much? With alcohol influence? To where someone has no idea what they are doing.. Thanks
    • Maggie
      Apr. 25, 2016
      Alcohol and diabetes is very dicey and a bit complcated. There is a lot of info on line, but the gist of it seems to be that it actually causes hypoglycemia, which fits with the nastiness. Hopefully he's learned he can't drink like that. There seem to be a lot of people commenting here who have problems with diabetics who drink.
    • hegauthier123
      Apr. 26, 2016
      I had the same experience this weekend with someone i just started dating. He is a very sweet man that doesnt tame the best care of himself. Saturday night it was like a switch flipped. Almost like a trance. He said things that were not like him. I cannot believe that i didnt realize what was going on. I feel a bit guilty because i could have handled things...
      RHMLucky777
      Read More
      I had the same experience this weekend with someone i just started dating. He is a very sweet man that doesnt tame the best care of himself. Saturday night it was like a switch flipped. Almost like a trance. He said things that were not like him. I cannot believe that i didnt realize what was going on. I feel a bit guilty because i could have handled things differently.
  • Laura333
    Apr. 17, 2016
    I have known my partner for ten years on and off and we got back together in February 2015 , engaged in May and have an upcoming marriage in June this year . My partner has had type 1 diabetes for 20 years , he had his fights with it and manages it quite well now or so I thought . Once he has drunk he has terrible mood swings , making me feel absolutely awful...
    RHMLucky777
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    I have known my partner for ten years on and off and we got back together in February 2015 , engaged in May and have an upcoming marriage in June this year . My partner has had type 1 diabetes for 20 years , he had his fights with it and manages it quite well now or so I thought . Once he has drunk he has terrible mood swings , making me feel absolutely awful . He shouts at me , blames me for everything and has come very close to punching me one evening . Another time he pushed me over and I fell and banged my head and he just left me on the floor . Tonight he has had me reduced to tears , one minute hugging me and then the next shouting in my face telling me to f *** off !! I have always loved this man and have always wanted to be his wife but I am seriously wondering if I can do this any more . I dread him coming home after he has drunk as I know that I will be a verbal punch bag for him. Please please can anybody give me some advice , is this normal for a diabetic and more importantly is this behaviour acceptable ?? I suffer with depression myself and find this behaviour so debilitating .
    • Maggie
      Apr. 17, 2016
      You KNOW it is not acceptable. What are you doing? ♡
    • Maggie
      Apr. 17, 2016
      Some people live in fear that verbal abuse will turn physical. It already has for you. Is that okay with you? Did you grow up dreaming of getting knocked around by your husband? Because that's what you're marrying in to. Diabetes didn't cause that. I promise. Get. Out. Have you told anyone who LOVES you about this? Father, mother, sister, brother, best friend?...
      RHMLucky777
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      Some people live in fear that verbal abuse will turn physical. It already has for you. Is that okay with you? Did you grow up dreaming of getting knocked around by your husband? Because that's what you're marrying in to. Diabetes didn't cause that. I promise. Get. Out. Have you told anyone who LOVES you about this? Father, mother, sister, brother, best friend?
    • A.
      A.
      Apr. 17, 2016
      Go away as soon as you can! I know how difficult it will be but in the end you will be happy...This situation is not acceptable! Hope you are okay...and I will pray to you! 💕💕
    • Stumbo
      May. 13, 2016
      Physically abusing someone is not a side effect of diabetes. I suggest you cancel the wedding and get as far away as possible. Good luck.
  • Mberry
    Apr. 17, 2016
    My 12 year old daughter was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes several weeks ago. Since she has been diagnosed she has had horrible mood swings. She goes from happy to extremely angry with a matter of minutes. It's not even when her blood sugar is high or low. It's like she just snaps out of the blue. Does anyone have any advice? Is it the type of insulin?
    • Maggie
      Apr. 17, 2016
      This breaks my heart! The poor thing. I would urge you to stay on her doctor, and in close touch, until you get this corrected. This shouldn't be, so ABSOLUTELY do not accept this as normal, and don't let her, either. If you don't get the help you need, find another Dr.! I hope you are seeing an endocrinologist and not just a GP. Someone needs to work closely...
      RHMLucky777
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      This breaks my heart! The poor thing. I would urge you to stay on her doctor, and in close touch, until you get this corrected. This shouldn't be, so ABSOLUTELY do not accept this as normal, and don't let her, either. If you don't get the help you need, find another Dr.! I hope you are seeing an endocrinologist and not just a GP. Someone needs to work closely with you, until you get this straight. Keep at it until you/she learns how to manage this correctly, and she has the proper medicine, dosing and control. Did you have any classes? Learn all you can about this disease. It's not just take some insulin, and don't eat cake! There are different ways to take insulin. She can lead a good life with the proper control and lifestyle. Many do. Don't give up and just accept this for her. It's not right. Diabetes doesn't have to ruin lives, but as you see here, it can and does.
    • Mberry
      Apr. 18, 2016
      Yes we see an endocrinologist at one of the best children's hospitals in are state. We took classes and we do a great job managing her diabetes. At our next appointment (which is this week) I'm going to discuss her moods swings with the doctor. It breaks my heart to see her go through it. I reached out on here to see if anyone else was experiencing mood swings...
      RHMLucky777
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      Yes we see an endocrinologist at one of the best children's hospitals in are state. We took classes and we do a great job managing her diabetes. At our next appointment (which is this week) I'm going to discuss her moods swings with the doctor. It breaks my heart to see her go through it. I reached out on here to see if anyone else was experiencing mood swings with type 1 diabetes and humalog insulin.
    • Maggie
      Apr. 19, 2016
      I'm so glad you wrote more, and that she's in good hands! I love kids, and my niece is just 12, and it was bothering me thinking about your daughter going through this. It's tough. I don't know about humalog, but I hope you will share what ends up working, when you get it worked out.  It might help someone else on here. Best wishes!
    • Twinkle
      Aug. 24, 2016
      My son was diagnosed July and he is 5. We are experiencing the same issues. Really horrible mood swings; angry. He is normally a very sweet child. He is also on Humalog. Did you end up finding out anything and has it worked? I am truly having a tough time dealing with it. It crushes my heart. We are also with a wonderful endo doctor. I will also take the advice...
      RHMLucky777
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      My son was diagnosed July and he is 5. We are experiencing the same issues. Really horrible mood swings; angry. He is normally a very sweet child. He is also on Humalog. Did you end up finding out anything and has it worked? I am truly having a tough time dealing with it. It crushes my heart. We are also with a wonderful endo doctor. I will also take the advice of reaching out to his doctor regarding his moods.
  • 5laws
    Apr. 16, 2016
    OMG! I am so happy to come across this great site! I am the same as everyone. Married 24 years to a Type 1 diabetic. He has always kept his diabetes under great control and still does. The problem is he has depression issues that he has to take medication for. I sure learned a ton from that whole fiasco with now having just a diabetic husband i now have a depressed,...
    RHMLucky777
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    OMG! I am so happy to come across this great site! I am the same as everyone. Married 24 years to a Type 1 diabetic. He has always kept his diabetes under great control and still does. The problem is he has depression issues that he has to take medication for. I sure learned a ton from that whole fiasco with now having just a diabetic husband i now have a depressed, diabetic husband.. I couldn't tell if he was having low blood sugar or having depression issues, my god all i was getting was an irritable man. I feel like everyone i LOVE this man and never in a million years would think that now with the depression and diabetes now hes turned to alcohol like you cant believe. I cant take it anymore. He drinks everyday!!!(now mind you hes on the pump) but he has 2 depression meds he has 2 cholesterol meds,1 blood pressure med and adds vodka sodas to that mix. he has always drank some but now its just spiraled. He thinks by saying and to probably make himself feel justified its vodka and soda water and that it doesn't mess with his diabetes.. Well let me tell everyone all those pills and being a diabetic it doesn't work. He has now a very low tolerance for alcohol so drunk after a drink or 2 but wont stop. blackouts,cant remember anything anymore,no motivation to do anything( house chores or any kind of fun stuff.) hes so moody and i think feels sorry for himself for having this diabetes and hes just a woes me yucky man now.. I hate it!!! I'm so sick of the oh you just dont understand its so BS, and then he turns everything on me like i'm just the naggy wife that wants to control him.. Well trust me that's so not me.. GOD FORBID we want our husbands to be healthy,happy and live a long time because we used to think they were the best things ever! Does anyone else have a husband that drinks heavily and is a type 1? Thanks for listening to this rant!
    • Laura333
      Apr. 17, 2016
      Oh my I totally understand how you feel , my soon to be husband who is a type 1 diabetic has awful mood swings . We are due to been married in June and I am seriously wondering whether I can do this . When he drinks he can best nasty and I feel like I'm a naughty child and I walk on egg shells around him . Tonight I'm sitting here in tears as today he has been...
      RHMLucky777
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      Oh my I totally understand how you feel , my soon to be husband who is a type 1 diabetic has awful mood swings . We are due to been married in June and I am seriously wondering whether I can do this . When he drinks he can best nasty and I feel like I'm a naughty child and I walk on egg shells around him . Tonight I'm sitting here in tears as today he has been particularly nasty to me . I do everything for him and have always loved him but I'm wondering if I can continue with this for the rest of my life . I suffer with depression and have my own issues to deal with , but once he'd drinks he makes me feel like everything is my fault and says that I make him feel like his dirt on the bottom of my shoes . He is cruel and nasty . I have known him for ten years and we finally got together January 2015 , engaged in May and moved in with him in June . I have always loved this man and have always wanted to marry him . I know that we are both stressed about the wedding , but I'm really struggling to deal with his extreme mood swings . Please can anybody help me ??
    • Maggie
      Apr. 17, 2016
      OMG is right! Too many medications, and BP meds and cholesterol meds are notorious for causing depression! My husband just cannot take them. Hee was a mess. He stopped them and his BP is normal now with low sodium diet. It works! Cholesteral, is the least of his problems, but if you're concerned have them do a test to check his arteries for plaque. My husband...
      RHMLucky777
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      OMG is right! Too many medications, and BP meds and cholesterol meds are notorious for causing depression! My husband just cannot take them. Hee was a mess. He stopped them and his BP is normal now with low sodium diet. It works! Cholesteral, is the least of his problems, but if you're concerned have them do a test to check his arteries for plaque. My husband had ZERO. He must feel like he's going crazy! No wonder he's drinking! Like someone else said, quality of life is important. That's way too many meds.
    • Maggie
      Apr. 17, 2016
      Laura333, Please read 5laws comment again. It's NOT the same as your situation. Her husband has controlled his diabetes for 24 years, until these new medications! Then read every comment on here. Marraige will not change this. You are signing up for the way it is now, if you go ahead with this (and it will probably get worse). Everyone on here would tell you...
      RHMLucky777
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      Laura333, Please read 5laws comment again. It's NOT the same as your situation. Her husband has controlled his diabetes for 24 years, until these new medications! Then read every comment on here. Marraige will not change this. You are signing up for the way it is now, if you go ahead with this (and it will probably get worse). Everyone on here would tell you to get it straightened out first, or don't go through with it. Please don't make excuses for him about wedding stress. Do you treat him the same way? Don't try to fool yourself. You know this is not good. Don't settle.
    • A.
      A.
      Apr. 17, 2016
      Maggie! I totally agree with you...Laura! Go away as soon as possible...He will not change! I have been dating a diabetic guy...We had a lot of fun together...We were completely in love but when he was low or high...OMG, the agressiveness, mood swing and anger were there...I was always walking on eggshells...It's not life! We broke up and I am still suffering...but...
      RHMLucky777
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      Maggie! I totally agree with you...Laura! Go away as soon as possible...He will not change! I have been dating a diabetic guy...We had a lot of fun together...We were completely in love but when he was low or high...OMG, the agressiveness, mood swing and anger were there...I was always walking on eggshells...It's not life! We broke up and I am still suffering...but I know I will find someone that knows how to treat a girlfrind, fiancé or wife...I am sure I will be a happy person again! This situation is not acceptable Laura! Take care yourself...💕💕
  • lou
    lou
    Apr. 13, 2016
    hi! glad to find this thread. i'm a type 1 diabetic for 16 years by now. i think the mood swings are sometimes directly related to the insulin effect, and not just the high/low sugar levels. until 6 years ago i was using the humalog insulin, which mimics the natural insulin on the body, but didn't like it much, since it made me sleepy and numb, unlike the wild...
    RHMLucky777
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    hi! glad to find this thread. i'm a type 1 diabetic for 16 years by now. i think the mood swings are sometimes directly related to the insulin effect, and not just the high/low sugar levels. until 6 years ago i was using the humalog insulin, which mimics the natural insulin on the body, but didn't like it much, since it made me sleepy and numb, unlike the wild teen i loved to be. traveling in europe, i had to change to a more old-school type of insulin, lantus, and i couldn't be happier, at the first years.. since i became exactly the full of life and wild and alert kid i use to be before the diabetes.. it took me some years to really notice all the changes, and by some aspects it is too late. it usually happens in the mornings, right after injecting the insulin, that i become raging and hysterical and out of control for about an hour.. sometimes it happens in the evenings, too. and very often if i drink some alcohol, which i do very rarely. you may find it strange but it takes years to realize that you are actually wrong and out of control.. i had a loving wonderful boyfriend for over 12 years, i had many loving friends and a blues band.. now none of my once very loving and caring friends would speak to me, and i know i've hurt everyone badly, but i was hardly aware of it or able to control it.. i still have the same fits of rage and hysteria after injecting my insulin, and sometimes in the evenings, all alone in my flat..
    • lou
      lou
      Apr. 13, 2016
      ah, and i'm very sure it's got to do w/changes in the adrenaline levels, it feels like being a raging alcoholic w/out even drinking.
    • Maggie
      Apr. 14, 2016
      I can't help wondering what your Dr. says! Does he know?! Why don't you think it's related to a huge change in BS level if it happens right afterr injecting insulin?
    • Maggie
      Apr. 14, 2016
      Do you test your blood sugar during these rages? I am seriously asking these things, as it might help us, and you. I am sorry for you, too.
    • Maggie
      Apr. 28, 2016
      Your comment really stuck with me, so I asked my brother-in- law, who is a doctor, about it. He said you should not have to live with that, and it doesn't mean you would have to go back to the insulin you didn't like, either. (I thought maybe that's what you are afraid of.) He said if you tell your doctor they will help you. It might mean just changing what...
      RHMLucky777
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      Your comment really stuck with me, so I asked my brother-in- law, who is a doctor, about it. He said you should not have to live with that, and it doesn't mean you would have to go back to the insulin you didn't like, either. (I thought maybe that's what you are afraid of.) He said if you tell your doctor they will help you. It might mean just changing what you eat and when, or something else, but he said it's absolutely not something you should just accept! There are many options. He said to be honest with your doc and work til you get it right and feel GOOD. I hope you read this. He was very sympathetic, as am I.
    • Maggie
      Apr. 28, 2016
      He thinks you're someone I work with. I didn't tell him I was going to post it on a website and to a stranger or he probably would have told me not to! lol So just take it for what it's worth. :)
  • Joanie
    Apr. 06, 2016
    I married my husband long before he was disgnosed. He has a very stressful job, long hours and has let his patience dwindle down to zero. We have all accused him of being a tyrant, a bully, a monster but he does not care. He tells us to literally go to hell. He does not eat right, forgets to take his meds, drinks, still smokes weed and denies it completely,...
    RHMLucky777
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    I married my husband long before he was disgnosed. He has a very stressful job, long hours and has let his patience dwindle down to zero. We have all accused him of being a tyrant, a bully, a monster but he does not care. He tells us to literally go to hell. He does not eat right, forgets to take his meds, drinks, still smokes weed and denies it completely, has lost many friends, never goes out socially, sits for hours watching the worst television shows, is not affectionate, is petty, has terrible mood swings that come out of nowhere, never apologizes, tells all of us we are idiots, goes" on strike" and yells at the top of his lungs. So, am I supposed to be nice all the time? Help.
    • Niki
      Apr. 08, 2016
      I completely understand , you described my husband to a T. It's not easy to deal with, some days you want to just throw in the towel and wish them the best, it's also not fair to those who stand behind them and try to encourage support with this condition. It's even harder when the Doctors provide their thoughts, suggestions, ideas, and yet still they just...
      RHMLucky777
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      I completely understand , you described my husband to a T. It's not easy to deal with, some days you want to just throw in the towel and wish them the best, it's also not fair to those who stand behind them and try to encourage support with this condition. It's even harder when the Doctors provide their thoughts, suggestions, ideas, and yet still they just don't care enough to work on the sugar levels. I can't imagine, nor do I want to imagine where my husband will be with his health in the next 5 years, bad part is he is only 26 and has been diabetic since he was 15, this is nothing new to him.. he knows what to do to control his diabetes by now, he just doesn't want to and it's very unfair. Hope everything works out for you guys, as well as for our family. It's a struggle I understand.
    • floresfamily4455
      Aug. 30, 2016
      I hear ya!! My husband calls me ugly names in Spanish, knowing I don't understand and when he notices I could careless, he brings up his ex wife and rambles on about how perect she is. My husband has type 2 and I now suffering with hypoglycaemia. I had to kick him out to get a break! He smokes weed and yea he became lazy, irresponsible, and would lie and hide...
      RHMLucky777
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      I hear ya!! My husband calls me ugly names in Spanish, knowing I don't understand and when he notices I could careless, he brings up his ex wife and rambles on about how perect she is. My husband has type 2 and I now suffering with hypoglycaemia. I had to kick him out to get a break! He smokes weed and yea he became lazy, irresponsible, and would lie and hide things from me. He thinks weed is the cure for diabetes but it only stabilized his glucose levels for a little. It kinda seemed like the weed just numbed his problem. He claims it relaxed him bUT it made him lazy! He doesn't work and would go give plasma for $20 just to get weed. Since I kicked him out ive been able to focus more on my kids and myself. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband but by golly there's only so much I can take.
  • swkd
    Apr. 01, 2016
    I have been dating a great guy for about 3 months he said he's borderline diabetic and takes insulin. He also has an underactive thyroid he takes meds for. I noticed that he has been kind of snappy and moody for a couple weeks and very tired. Also he looks weak, sweaty, and pale. He told me he had quit taking his medication for his diabetes. He thought maybe...
    RHMLucky777
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    I have been dating a great guy for about 3 months he said he's borderline diabetic and takes insulin. He also has an underactive thyroid he takes meds for. I noticed that he has been kind of snappy and moody for a couple weeks and very tired. Also he looks weak, sweaty, and pale. He told me he had quit taking his medication for his diabetes. He thought maybe he could control it through diet but he eats pretty bad. He has been back on his insulin for a few days but he's still feeling really lethargic and he's very irritable. How long will it take for him to get leveled out with his meds? I want my nice guy back :(
    • Maggie
      May. 01, 2016
      A few days or maybe 21 years or even never. This is exactly how it started for me and my husband. 21 years later, it's just now finally better, but those 21 years were hell, I mean hell. Such a waste of two lives, and so many poor decisions. Who knows if it will last like it is? The biggest difference, now, will be, that I know better, and will not stick around....
      RHMLucky777
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      A few days or maybe 21 years or even never. This is exactly how it started for me and my husband. 21 years later, it's just now finally better, but those 21 years were hell, I mean hell. Such a waste of two lives, and so many poor decisions. Who knows if it will last like it is? The biggest difference, now, will be, that I know better, and will not stick around. I finally understand that I can only control me, and what I choose to do. His diabetes is up to him. There is treatment, and he has doctors who can help, but he has to talk with them and do what he needs to.   I finally took a stand, scared to death, and he got it together, but time will tell. I wish I had done it right from the start. It's not fun to have diabetes, but there are many, many, many, many, MANY worse things, often with no help or solution available. Get some perspective so you don't drown yourself in useless pity and allowances. Your boyfriend will have to watch exactly what he eats, insulin or not, from now on. It will be better for him if he can get it in line without the insulin, so it doesn't get worse, but his just eating however he wants and not checking his sugar days are over. I hope he understsnds that. As for you, keep your eyes open. You can't do it for him, and if he does not want your help in learning what to eat or do, as this is new to him, too, just understand this:  You will not help him have a good life, he will drag you down with him. I guarantee it. That's what you are seeing in the comments here. Don't just put up with the "moods". It's a slow and painful death sentence. The USFC.edu site has very comprehensive info and descriptions about Everything to do with diabetes, from newly diagnosed onward. It'd the best I have found. Check it out. Share it with him. Knowledge is power. YOU need to know it, but HE needs to do it. Himself. I only wish I had known how much he actually COULD help it right from the beginning.
    • Maggie
      May. 01, 2016
      Actually, I shouldn't have said the whole 21 years were bad. The first few weren't, but I did put up with a little moodiness, that I would not have without the diabetes, and over time, it just evolved into a little more and then more. If I had just nipped it in the bud, it would have been so much better, one way or another. I wish I could say I'm glad I stayed,...
      RHMLucky777
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      Actually, I shouldn't have said the whole 21 years were bad. The first few weren't, but I did put up with a little moodiness, that I would not have without the diabetes, and over time, it just evolved into a little more and then more. If I had just nipped it in the bud, it would have been so much better, one way or another. I wish I could say I'm glad I stayed, but I can't. I don't know if time will heal all the wounds. I know I am to blame, too, for putting up with it, though, so I will give it a shot and see how it goes, because I am married to him, and he really wants this chance.  But I will tell you, I would NOT do it all over again. So just proceed with caution. :)
  • Anna
    Mar. 31, 2016
    Wow guys!!! I salute each and everyone of you having to deal with so many of the issues us fellow diabetics have thrown at you. I got referred to this forum a while ba k but I never visited it until now. My name I Anna, 28 diagnosed at 24 so still quite new to the Type1 family. Was very lucky to make it out of a diabetic comma and when first diagnosed was very...
    RHMLucky777
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    Wow guys!!! I salute each and everyone of you having to deal with so many of the issues us fellow diabetics have thrown at you. I got referred to this forum a while ba k but I never visited it until now. My name I Anna, 28 diagnosed at 24 so still quite new to the Type1 family. Was very lucky to make it out of a diabetic comma and when first diagnosed was very lucky to even make it out alive. When I woke up a nurse had told me my blood sugars were so high, Meter couldn't get a reading at all after multiple attempts, So it really is a God thing For why I am still here. I've always been a bubble person, A people person. A family orientated person. I was a very patient person. These days because of my insulin changes my body hasn't quite caught up yet. My blood sugars fluctuate alot, It can be levelled good when I just wake up, So I'm quite in a happy mood in the morning, at lunch quite steady 3:30pm sugars drop and body feels worn, I have sugar to lift my sugars up and mood gets better by 5:30pm each day mh body is absolutely stuffed. Its such a mission now for me to get about my normal schedules and keeping up with everyone but I try and keep positive a d focus on the things I should be grateful for cos we do have alot. I have been lashing out a bit at my loved ones. They've been catching the bitter end of my mood swings. I wanted to read others experiences cos I thought maybe its not mu illness and maybe I just inherited my dads bad temper and shirt fuse but then I remembered dads also diabetic so that explains alot of his bad mood swings towards mum and us kids growing up. We don't like hurting our loved ones in in a relationship and I often fear that I will ruin things because of my illness. I want him to be prepared for this because like alot of you have said....RUN WHILE YOU CAN lol that's pretty sad, Everyone deserves LOVE but I understand You also dong deserve to be yelled at, or screamed at or treated unfairly at the expense of our illness. Trust me we don't wana do that. I love my family and I love my partner very much which is why after reading through, I am going to try and manage my illness alot better. Stick to counselling, Take your meds, If you have hobbies really get yourself involved. If its church like me do it. Its up to us to do make ourselves happy, Accepting we have this illness and working on ourselves individually so that we can be the best version of ourselves for not only ourselves but for everyone that we love in our lives. Stay strong. We can do it!!! ❤
  • LadyRed05
    Mar. 26, 2016
    I also have been with my husband for over 22 years. We grew up together when the high school and got married that was when I was 17 and now he is 42 years old. I first started noticing the changes about 15 years ago and made that knowledge to him but he became very defensive. My has been went from being a very laid back mild-mannered cool collective person...
    RHMLucky777
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    I also have been with my husband for over 22 years. We grew up together when the high school and got married that was when I was 17 and now he is 42 years old. I first started noticing the changes about 15 years ago and made that knowledge to him but he became very defensive. My has been went from being a very laid back mild-mannered cool collective person , to now being a very uptight irrational and sometimes inpatient and very lethargic person . Also like the person who started this thread I also was confused and a little depressed bad man I married is completely a different person. I love him so much and I wish everyone the best the diabetes has changed our lives forever ...
    • Joanie
      Apr. 06, 2016
      Exactly
    • Sheelahde3
      Jun. 17, 2016
      My husband was diagnosed in February this year after winding up in the hospital with a severe infection. Ive been pleading with him for 8 plus years to get healthy and have lived through empty promises, medication upon medications, mood swings, yelling and tyrant behavior, impotence due to med's, a CPAP sleeping machine etc. Mostly all preventable if he had...
      RHMLucky777
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      My husband was diagnosed in February this year after winding up in the hospital with a severe infection. Ive been pleading with him for 8 plus years to get healthy and have lived through empty promises, medication upon medications, mood swings, yelling and tyrant behavior, impotence due to med's, a CPAP sleeping machine etc. Mostly all preventable if he had been in control of food and been more active. All things I am and have encouraged him to be with me. It's been an issue for years. Now suddenly he "sees the light" and is maintaining a good food plan, has taken up walking and he has "found a good place". But I'm angry and frustrated. And I worry about his health. And I'm Mad that I'm 42 and active and want to adventure and now I'm a caregiver and I worry. I don't trust that he will stay on course as he has ridden the roller coaster for years. Dropped and gained the same 70 pounds at least 6 times in the last 10 years. I want to support him and I want our marriage back to what it was but I'm afraid to buy in. I bite my tongue so much I'm surprised I still have one. And if my eyes roll back in my head one more time, surely they will stay there. I love him, I really do. But I miss him. And I miss being able to tell him anything, my hopes, dreams, fears....he's so defensive now. And micro manages the diabetes. And is self centered about it. I have days where I'm like this is fine - everything is under control. Everything is fine. And then there are days where diabetes sneaks in and creates problems and I want to punch him in the head.... I feel like I'm a terrible person but I also feel like there is a lot of Support for the person but not any for the spouse or Family. Oh and if I hear anymore about the things that "I HAVE to Do" I might lose my nutter! I've been told that I will have to Cool different,I will have to plan around diabetes, I will have to look for Signs of low and high, I will have to be patient, I will have to motivate him to start walking, I will have to not "police" his diabetes but show concern and support.... And I'm like really? I HAVE to Do these things? But I'm Not allowed to be angry? Or sad about these responsibilities? I have three teenagers in high school, I was looking forward to my caregiving days being done, to adventures and silliness and fun... I know I need to move forward but right now, I'm Afraid. I'm afraid to trust in him and be once again DISSAPOINTED. I'm glad there is a place that maybe others will understand.
  • entrekindj
    Mar. 25, 2016
    Hey guys. Thanks to all of y'all for sharing your experiences. It is a great relief knowing that one isn't alone in these situations. I'm 44 year old guy. About a year ago my 84 y /o mother starting having falls, disorientation. She is a type 2 diabetic. To make it short, she was in renal failure from dehydration. So after a good hospital stay she goes for...
    RHMLucky777
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    Hey guys. Thanks to all of y'all for sharing your experiences. It is a great relief knowing that one isn't alone in these situations. I'm 44 year old guy. About a year ago my 84 y /o mother starting having falls, disorientation. She is a type 2 diabetic. To make it short, she was in renal failure from dehydration. So after a good hospital stay she goes for some rehab at the local nusing home. She was doing great ready to come home and fell again causing a compression fracture. She also stopped eating. 2weeks in ICU and a lot of hard work I get her eating again and she goes through therapy rehab again. Finally gets to come home can't walk is unable to do almost nothing for herself. So my partner and I give up our house and move in to take care of her. Now my 64 y/o brother live with her as well. He is a long term type 1diabetic. He also recently had a below the knee amputation. Within the last year I have had to call paramedics due to low sugar 20's most of the time, about 12 times. At least 6 times for ketoacidosis. I have watched how he eats and his dosing of insulin and can tell he isn't conforming to his regime. He also bluffs the doctors out on how he is not in control. Anytime I try and discuss it with him it is a total disaster and fighting, and " he has done .this for 40 years and knows what he is doing.". I have been put in the position of caregiver for him but he refuses to go to hospital until he is so bad off he can't argue. I want to know if there is anything I can do legally to make him seek help. His behavior and the way he refuses help when he is almost comatose put stress on my mother and on myself. I love my brother but I don't know what to do to help him. Any ideas ?
    • Sadtothebone
      Apr. 03, 2016
      My heart goes out to you. I admit I have gone from a serial caretaker to a serial advice giver, but my insights are all hard won. lol  We took care of my husband's grandparents for 15 years and dealt with everything you can imagine. (We moved in to help her with him and then she got sick ...) and yet I still had trouble figuring out what to do for my diabetic...
      RHMLucky777
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      My heart goes out to you. I admit I have gone from a serial caretaker to a serial advice giver, but my insights are all hard won. lol  We took care of my husband's grandparents for 15 years and dealt with everything you can imagine. (We moved in to help her with him and then she got sick ...) and yet I still had trouble figuring out what to do for my diabetic husband. You seem to be in the same position, where there is a big difference between caring for your elderly mother and your brother. There is no way to force someone to take care of themself, legally or any other way, but there are things you can do to make it easier for you, and maybe give him more incentive.  First of all, change what YOU'RE doing. End the struggle. Don't fight with him or try to get him to let you take him to the hospital. At the first sign of a blood sugar drop, that is going of the rails, call 911. "My brother's a diabetic, and his blood sugar has dropped, and he won't let us help him, and he is very irrational (and aggressive?), and we need help."  This IS a medical emergency, and you're not trained to help him, so just be glad you're there to call. That IS helping him.  (If he lived alone, he could die.) Then let the professionals handle it. No need to go through all the motions and fighting for nothing, or wait for him to be almost comatose. Get help ASAP. Then, assuming he goes to the ER, ? tell them everything, not just the events right before this, but everything. The paramedics will have their report, too. It won't just be you. Tell them that he has been here 12 times in one year. (!) There's an obvious problem. His treatment isn't working for him, or he doesn't seem to comprehend it well anymore, etc. He needs follow-up care. Speak up.  Don't let him BS the doctors. HIPPA doesn't stop YOU from talking.  Make sure they have his primary Dr.'s name so he/she gets all the reports. (Call his regular doctor and tell him what's going on, too.) Of course your brother won't like any of this, but that's too bad. You're doing it for him.  Maybe after a few times, he might catch on, and actually try to avoid it. If not, it still takes a lot of the burden off of you. Just make the decision to not do it the old way, anymore. Once his brain has been hi-jacked, it just doesn't work, so you can relax some, because you have a plan. And if he tells you later not to do that again, tell him sorry, but you can't agree to that. It's too much on everyone, esp. Mom. If he wants to avoid it, he will just have to monitor his blood sugar, and make sure it doesn't happen. Of course he wants to be treated like the adult man that he is, but that means acting like one, and being responsible and cooperative. He doesn't have quite as many rights as he thinks. He has every right not to care for himself, for now, but not to have it fall on you. You are all living under one roof, and you all have a right to live in peace. He makes his choice. You make yours. He can monitor his sugar better, or get help from his Dr. or agree to let you test his blood sugar or to take a glucose pill, or whatever. Or he can deal with the paramedics. He might surprise you - eventually.  At some future point you will have a lot of documentation, too, if you should need it. Unfortunately, memory loss and some dementia are common with long term diabetes, so you will have to be prepared and watch for signs that he really doesn't have a handle on it anymore. It sounds questionable even now. If you suspect that, tell his doctor. If you can get him to fill out a health care proxy form, that would help, and give you more clout with his doctors. Down the road, he may be eligible for some home care. Every state has different programs and resources for aging citizens, and in some states this starts at 60. (You might want to look into some of this. See what's available down the road.) I'm sure you know your mother could not have come home, if you had not agreed to move in with her. At a certain age, in this country, we do not let people live on their own, if they can't take care of themselves, if no one is there who can - or will agree to - take care of them. Maybe at some point his Dr. will even order some home care. In my experience home anything keeps people more compliant, even if it's aides, so take it. Anyone who comes in is trained and required to keep their eyes and ears open for potential problems. Many people will just comply better for a stranger than for family, too. It's very hard, but you have to tell him you can't be expected to help him and not have any input in what goes on. You never agreed to that, I'm sure. I know how quickly it gets to  where the situation is running you, instead of the other way around, so you have to take a step back and assess it fairly. Would you have signed up for this the way it is,when everyone was healthy and mentally astute? Would you have ever said: We'll take care of you and you can just do whatever you want and we'll pick up the pieces and live with all this chaos at the expense of ourselves even as we care for Mom? Afraid you're going to die? Even though it's avoidable? Don't worry about it, it's all about you? ... Of course not.  It just evolved into this. It's not too late to make some changes. How independent is he? Who drives him around? Shops for food? Fixes meals?  You have to negotiate some things. (I'm not saying you tell him if he doesn't eat right, you won't drive him anywhere, or anything like that. Don't treat him like a child,  but if he wants something you know will set him off, he will have to get it himself. And if he is aggressive, let him get his own rides or whatever. Don't enable him, or let him bully you. Being diabetic doesn't give you more rights than others! I don't know if this is an issue, but it often is, so I'm just saying. )You can't control him, or tell him what to do, and you can't do it for him. That will never work, but maybe you can figure out what you can do, and are willing to do, that will actually help him, that he will agree to, if anything. (Like, if you all eat together, make diabetic friendly meals. ?) But DO change it up, and just "drop the rope" when he is fighting you. Turn it over to the paramedics. Take back some control of your own life, before it gets even worse. I doubt he will just keep letting the paramedics come all the time, without changing something. If he does, someone with some actual power will realize there needs to be some intervention and a change somehow; that he is not capable. I have found that a good rule is not to do anything you wouldn't expect, if the situation was reversed. Good luck. :)    
    • Maggie
      Apr. 17, 2016
      Very good advice.
  • FedUp
    Mar. 10, 2016
    Thank you for this thread! Very nice to have an outlet.
  • Rissa
    Feb. 27, 2016

    I have been dating someone for 2 mths type 1, he won't stop eating junk and chocolate, and when he takes me out and drinks more than 2 pints, say he drinks 5/6 he snaps tells me I'm the worse person in the world, says I caused a row if I answer back he then threatens to leave and call everything off. The next day he still blames me when I ask him what did I...

    RHMLucky777

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    I have been dating someone for 2 mths type 1, he won't stop eating junk and chocolate, and when he takes me out and drinks more than 2 pints, say he drinks 5/6 he snaps tells me I'm the worse person in the world, says I caused a row if I answer back he then threatens to leave and call everything off. The next day he still blames me when I ask him what did I do or say he blames me for being horrible on drink when it was him that went off for no reason. I just tried to defend myself by talking normal. He punishes me by hardly speaking, he did it last night he couldn't answer me and tell me what I did or said . He is staying over I ordered him to sleep on the settee last night as he was being so irrational, he doesn't like me talking to anyone, I told him if he didn't calm down and sleep in there I would call my dad and brother over. He went to sleep then on the settee. He is in there he brought me breakfast full cooked but is hardly speaking to me I have not brought anything up I am just led in bed wondering why he can be so wonderful one min and especially after drinks a complete  He never says sorry just expects me to put up with it he thinks he is perfect.

    • Rissa
      Feb. 29, 2016
      I ended it this weekend he had another totally uncontrollable outburst in the pub after guzzling 7-8 pints, called me everything under the sun told me he was going to leave so I let him go. He is collecting anything he left this week, I feel hurt, sorry for him, sad , but relieved and released from the dreading when next.
    • A.
      A.
      Mar. 01, 2016
      I completely understand you, Rissa! OMG, I was in the same situation a while ago...and until now I feel this way...I still love him and can't understand what's going on with him...The last time that we saw each other we were entirely in love and making plans for our future...In a bit he changed his mind and broke up with me...No reason at all! Seems that he...
      RHMLucky777
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      I completely understand you, Rissa! OMG, I was in the same situation a while ago...and until now I feel this way...I still love him and can't understand what's going on with him...The last time that we saw each other we were entirely in love and making plans for our future...In a bit he changed his mind and broke up with me...No reason at all! Seems that he knows about his future with that horrible disease! Hope you are well! A.
    • Sadtothebone
      Mar. 05, 2016
      Good girl! His diabetes has less to do with this than you think. He's just abusive. He is someone who just does what he wants and his bad behavior is who he is and just an extention of his sense of entitlement. It's that same sense of entitlement that makes him think he doesn't have to do what he should, like not eat all the chocolate and junk that he wants,...
      RHMLucky777
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      Good girl! His diabetes has less to do with this than you think. He's just abusive. He is someone who just does what he wants and his bad behavior is who he is and just an extention of his sense of entitlement. It's that same sense of entitlement that makes him think he doesn't have to do what he should, like not eat all the chocolate and junk that he wants, and not drink alcohol. I hope you have learned to not wait 2 months next time. You should walk away from anyone at the first sign of trouble. Never think you need to put up with that, or that you can help someone like that. The very first marker in a pattern of abuse is quick and seemingly irrational mood changes and not wanting you to talk to people. It's all about contol and power. An abuser works quickly and deviously to start isolating you. Often they act jealous, and too many women find that flattering or mistake it for a sign of love, but it's not. Isolation is an essential tool for them to gain power over you. Of course they are really nice sometimes, or you wouldn't stick around! These guys are not a mystery or confused or out of control. They are all ABOUT control and they work to keep YOU confused and throw you off balance. I notice he was rational enough not to want to tangle with your father and brother! I'm glad you got away. Don't even look back.
    • Gladys
      Mar. 13, 2016
      Please end this relationship. it will only get worse. If a diabetic can not take charge of his illness and behaviour this early into the relationship. you have no chance. end it now before you fall to deeply x
    • Ashleys.awesome
      Apr. 04, 2016
      Wow. I have just experienced this SAME THING. I have been endlessly searching online for why I just got treated the way I did when I have done nothing but love the man I have been seeing for the last few months. He is type 1 diabetic and I am a nurse so I try and help him control it by making sure he takes his insulin and trying to help him limit his intake...
      RHMLucky777
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      Wow. I have just experienced this SAME THING. I have been endlessly searching online for why I just got treated the way I did when I have done nothing but love the man I have been seeing for the last few months. He is type 1 diabetic and I am a nurse so I try and help him control it by making sure he takes his insulin and trying to help him limit his intake of "bad foods". But he loves his beer...and although not an alcoholic, if he has more than a few he gets so irrational and ugly to me. I have to walk on eggshells and cater to him when I know I have done nothing wrong. Tonight my friend heard the endless and almost psychotic phone calls that were pretty much rambling. I was so glad someone else heard it and heard my responses to it so I knew for once I wasn't crazy. I have never given my heart to a man like I have him in such a short amount of time. To be walked on and treated this way is so painful, especially to a woman like myself who is very independent and head strong. He called me every name in the book. Every other word was the "F" word and he told me that I was no longer allowed at his house simply because I told him that I would like to be engaged to him but not married immediately as I would like to finish my schooling first. He called me names and told me he introduced me to his kids and that he wished he never would have. It was so painful to hear. Although painful, it was almost insane enough where I wanted to laugh. I knew I had done nothing wrong to promote him treating me in this manner. He is normally a kind and loving person. Sometimes I feel like he is overly protective and borderline codependent, but I love him and feel strongly for him so I wanted to be around him and give him my time and energy. I do not, however, want to be spoken to like garbage. I can't and will not tolerate it. If it is related to him drinking and his blood sugar spiking as a result of the drinking then the drinking would have to stop. Entirely. I am not a big drinker myself, but am not opposed to occasional social drinking. When it comes to being treated like trash though after you've loved someone and given them your mind, body and soul, it is an official issue. I would rather be alone than be with someone that may fly off the handle for no reason. He is a law enforcement official also and he sort of scared me tonight. I felt like I did not know the person who was screaming and yelling obscenities at me. This makes me feel like he could snap and do something violent. I would love to be a part of keeping him healthy and if it was a product of alcohol and not perfectly controlled diabetes then I would stand by him....just not sure if I am willing to risk being verbally assaulted and potentially physically assaulted by someone if they did not want to comply with the rules that would keep them at an even keel to make these situations NOT a reality. It is awful risky. I feel violated, hurt, scared and very sad that I am even having to do research on this tonight. I feel sad that there are other people having to do the same as I am as well. Being in the medical field, this stuff is very interesting and important to me, but I don't want to risk my safety and sanity in the name of research. What does one do in a situation like this? Love is a strong emotion and it feels amazing to love and be loved, but when you feel like your lover is not him or herself and could potentially harm you physically if it progressed further then do you stay around? This is so sad. I am so sorry you are having to go through this, but I am not alone in my feelings which gives me hope and strength when only an hour ago I felt completely belittled and like used garbage. The back to back phone calls have ceased at this point and I am honestly jumpy and scared right now. I am hoping that he doesn't come over in an angry and irrational stupor and do something. I don't need to feel this way. It is very vulnerable and sad. I don't know how I am going to handle things tomorrow. I don't even know if he will remember how he acted tomorrow. I do have 6 minutes of our conversation recorded though so that he has the ability to hear at least part of how he treated me tonight. This totally sucks. I thought I would spend my life with this man...sucky doesn't even really describe it. You're not alone. We don't deserve this. We are human beings with feelings and we deserve to be treated as such. Uncontrolled diabetes and drinking makes a piss poor excuse to assault someone you love. Verbally or otherwise...feeling very sad tonight. Also feeling very lost and alone. Yep...it just plain sucks.
    • Type 1 partner
      Apr. 04, 2016
      Unfortunately this seems to be the case. I myself live with the same, in fact reading your post I thought it was something I had posted.. I'm of the opinion that they do have more control than they will acknowledge and if they choose not to settle things then they need to live alone. I understand this may sound harsh but I'm not a beeting bag for someone else...
      RHMLucky777
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      Unfortunately this seems to be the case. I myself live with the same, in fact reading your post I thought it was something I had posted.. I'm of the opinion that they do have more control than they will acknowledge and if they choose not to settle things then they need to live alone. I understand this may sound harsh but I'm not a beeting bag for someone else regardless. why should we be treated like you have stated for no reason, it just brings me down I know that... regardless of how hard I try to help. type 1 really sux for everyone.... So my advice is although you love, some times we have to love and leave if we are to respect ourselves and walk a peaceful life.
    • A.
      A.
      Apr. 04, 2016
      It seems that I was writting this, Ashleys...I also was dating a type one diabetis man. And the situation that I have lived was the same...The only difference is that he doesn't drink at all. So to me - drinking is not the main problem. The problem is the diabetis! This is an awful desease! I don't know but I think they cannot control their attitudes...Not...
      RHMLucky777
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      It seems that I was writting this, Ashleys...I also was dating a type one diabetis man. And the situation that I have lived was the same...The only difference is that he doesn't drink at all. So to me - drinking is not the main problem. The problem is the diabetis! This is an awful desease! I don't know but I think they cannot control their attitudes...Not sure...In my relationship he was so kind and cute...and in a bit his mood swings were there...I couldn't understand either! I was quite perfect to him...I did everything that I could but he couldn't accept my love and broke up with me...no reason at all...we had a great amount of love and he knows that! Now, I am following with my life and as you said - Maybe he was the man that I was entirely for him with my soul, body, mind and energy...And right now I am so disappointed and sad that I thik I lost everything! I am trying hardly to follow with my life...
  • A.
    A.
    Feb. 21, 2016
    I got it! Hi everyone! I am glad that I have found this! I have been reading these posts and it really makes me better...I am not the only one who had the experince... I was dating a guy who is diabetic since age 4...our beginning was just amazing but afterwards, I was always stepping on eggshells... I am not american ( sorry about my english ), but I would...
    RHMLucky777
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    I got it! Hi everyone! I am glad that I have found this! I have been reading these posts and it really makes me better...I am not the only one who had the experince... I was dating a guy who is diabetic since age 4...our beginning was just amazing but afterwards, I was always stepping on eggshells... I am not american ( sorry about my english ), but I would like to tell you my experience dating a diabetic man... He is a super nice guy the most part of the time...but when he is low or high...OMG! It's awful! He cannot control his attitudes...Mood swings all the time...And I was the one who he could show his anger, rage, agressiveness and I don't know what more...The fights were very bad... I was quite perfect to him...We spent last summer together...travelled a lot and had lots of fun...We were extremely happy! He did everything to me...He was the perfect boyfriend ever! But when I came back to my country, he just broke up with me...No reason at all...He just preferred to live by himself...alone...in his "confort zone"...And for me it has been difficult to understand...We were like soulmates...I am sure about that! Maybe he is trying to protect me for bad things he could do in the future...Don't know... Anyway, I have to follow with my life...I am still too sad about all this situation...But I know I will be ok in a bit! Wish you my best... A.
    • Sadtothebone
      Mar. 05, 2016
      You should be thanking your lucky stars!! He CAN control his mood swings by contolling his diabete, IF that is the cause.. Why would you put up with that?! Yes, he could take it out on you - because you let him! He didn't do it to others, because someone stronger would flatten him. Don't confuse your situation with others on here. Many women on here are talking...
      RHMLucky777
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      You should be thanking your lucky stars!! He CAN control his mood swings by contolling his diabete, IF that is the cause.. Why would you put up with that?! Yes, he could take it out on you - because you let him! He didn't do it to others, because someone stronger would flatten him. Don't confuse your situation with others on here. Many women on here are talking about a change in personality later in life and well into a marraige with the onset of type 2 diabetes. Type 2 is much more confusing to treat and the meds work differently, and frankly many doctors don't even know enough about it. Someone diagnosed with type 1 at a young age knows what to do. It's pretty straight forward between insulin and blood sugar. They HAVE to take care of it. If they choose not to, or not to work with their doctor to avoid this as much as possible, that is a very bad sign. It is just who they are. Many, many diabetics lead responsible lives, in spite of their disease. They do not feel entitled to just behave however they want to, and expect others to put up with it.  It is tough, and takes effort, but it is mostly very managable. It is NOT an excuse to be abusive. This was not your soul mate!! Don't ever settle for being treated like that!
    • A5m5b5
      Apr. 13, 2016
      Please don't rip on people getting high and low, it is not always there fault. Sometimes it just happens. Growth spurts, new environments, stress, weather, a bad vial of insulin: all these things can cause a high or a low that is completely unavoidable. OP: thank you for your story, I'm sorry be left, it make me sad too 😢 losing a soulmate is rough. You'll...
      RHMLucky777
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      Please don't rip on people getting high and low, it is not always there fault. Sometimes it just happens. Growth spurts, new environments, stress, weather, a bad vial of insulin: all these things can cause a high or a low that is completely unavoidable. OP: thank you for your story, I'm sorry be left, it make me sad too 😢 losing a soulmate is rough. You'll be okay, and hopefully so will he. I hope you find someone else perfect for you. Not the same as him, that will not due, but I hope God blesses your future with whoever you are meant to meet.
    • Maggie
      Apr. 22, 2016
      A5m5b5. No one is ripping on people who get highs and lows. We are talking about people who are abusive, and seem to think that it's okay, or that maybe their diabetes gives them a pass or the right to do so. Growth spurts? Get real. New environments, stress and weather are a part of life. They better get used to it. Please don't YOU minimize what the people...
      RHMLucky777
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      A5m5b5. No one is ripping on people who get highs and lows. We are talking about people who are abusive, and seem to think that it's okay, or that maybe their diabetes gives them a pass or the right to do so. Growth spurts? Get real. New environments, stress and weather are a part of life. They better get used to it. Please don't YOU minimize what the people who have been abused have gone through. The diabetics might not control ALL their highs and lows, but they damn sure ought to know that abuse is not okay. They should be tripping over themselves with apologies and be rushing to get some help, so it doesn't happen again!
    • Maggie
      May. 02, 2016
      A. I wish I knew how old you are. I feel like you are quite young. Is that right? I know you are still struggling with this. :(  It seems like your brain understands that this was not good, but your heart is still having trouble accepting it. I think that's normal. :) Of course traveling has a certain magic of it's own anyway, don't you think? Very romantic,...
      RHMLucky777
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      A. I wish I knew how old you are. I feel like you are quite young. Is that right? I know you are still struggling with this. :(  It seems like your brain understands that this was not good, but your heart is still having trouble accepting it. I think that's normal. :) Of course traveling has a certain magic of it's own anyway, don't you think? Very romantic, and very different from day to day real life. It's the inspiration for a lot books and movies. If these terrible fights had been part of your normal life, off-set only by working all day and chores and responsibilities, they might not have been quite so tolerable. Right? There would be a lot less "good" to miss, certainly. I read something once about break ups, that the problem is really not so much about missing what we had, but what we thought we had. All the meaning we attach to it by our dreams of the future together that we imagine,  which is perfect, naturally, because we are infatuated. We miss the idea of him, and how we pictured it would be, not just what was. So you are missing who you thought was your soul mate, the fairy tale, even though reality is proving that not to be true. Even when things work out, the honeymoon does eventually end, and there is a different love, based on much deeper feelings of absolute trust in your mate. You could never have that with this guy, and you know it. One day you will find the real thing, and you will know it, and it will be different than this, and wonderful. It will last, because it's meant to. It will go smoothly from infatuation to a deeper love. It's still romantic, but it's much MORE, too. You'll see. Don't settle for someone you have to fix. Keep moving. Don't let anyone tell you it takes work, either. It really shouldn't take work, and certainly not in the early years! It should be easy!
    • A.
      A.
      May. 02, 2016
      Maggie! Thank yoy, Thank you, Thank you very much, Maggie! You can't imagine how happy I was reading your post to me... :) I entirely agree with you! And I am not that young...I think it's because English is not my first language so sometimes I cannot express everything that I am feeling... You read me better than my Mom, my therapist, my brother and my friends...
      RHMLucky777
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      Maggie! Thank yoy, Thank you, Thank you very much, Maggie! You can't imagine how happy I was reading your post to me... :) I entirely agree with you! And I am not that young...I think it's because English is not my first language so sometimes I cannot express everything that I am feeling... You read me better than my Mom, my therapist, my brother and my friends who are not recognizing me at all. You wrote to me everything that I would love to hear! I always was a happy, sunny and energetic person...and now, I think I have no energy... But I would like to tell you that your words helped me a lot...When you wrote about what we idealize for our relationships...that's absolutely true...Maybe I was so in love with him that I couldn't see how bad things were with him, with his life...He has tons of problems with his mom whom rejected him because of his diabetes and very traumatized with his divorce...He didn't know what love is...And I can't fix all...I have to follow with my life...and not fix everything around me! In my entire life I always thought like you! We know a guy...we fall in love with him and than the deeper love begins...And I can put something to the mix - The guy should be your best friend...That's a real relationship and I will not settle...I will continue looking for it! I promise to myself that I will be a happy person again! And Thanks again...I am going for a walk at the beach right now just because I am felling a little better after reading your words! :) Have a wonderful week, Maggie!
  • Breefit07
    Feb. 10, 2016
    Type 1 diabetic boyfriend (diagnosed at the age of 12)-- My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and he has had a few hypo issues and also very high blood sugar. When the high blood sugar incidents occur he gets incoherent and stumbles around in a fit of rage. He gets angry and hateful. Last night it happened a third time and this was the worst....
    RHMLucky777
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    Type 1 diabetic boyfriend (diagnosed at the age of 12)-- My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and he has had a few hypo issues and also very high blood sugar. When the high blood sugar incidents occur he gets incoherent and stumbles around in a fit of rage. He gets angry and hateful. Last night it happened a third time and this was the worst. I feared for my safety for the first time with him and he acted like he was going to get physical with me when I tried to help. I went in the other room and he eventually passed out on the floor and I was able to check his blood sugar and administer the appropriate amount of insulin. It is very scary and I was really worried all the banging and yelling at 3am when he woke up like this was going to get the cops called. I am so glad I found this forum. I felt so lost last night and upset. This morning has been really bad and I love him so much but am very upset that it got to that level and am scared it could happen again and get worse. Anyone else deal with fits of rage and rambling nastiness when their partner gets to a severe level of high blood sugar?! Any suggestions or ideas of how to handle or pacify the situation when it escalates to that level? Help
    • Emeliz
      Feb. 13, 2016
      Yes, I've lived with this for years. I have one foot out of the door and I'm ready to leave. I could give you loads of advice. However it's not YOUR problem. It is HIS. He should now be thinking what he can do to try and control his sugar levels better. I feel for you, its horrible. Especially when there are kids involved and they dont understand why daddy...
      RHMLucky777
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      Yes, I've lived with this for years. I have one foot out of the door and I'm ready to leave. I could give you loads of advice. However it's not YOUR problem. It is HIS. He should now be thinking what he can do to try and control his sugar levels better. I feel for you, its horrible. Especially when there are kids involved and they dont understand why daddy is angry again. You need to stand firm and tell him he needs to go to the GP and find help.
    • Lilly
      Feb. 15, 2016
      This is not okay! If he's had type 1 since he was twelve, he knows what he has to do to take care of himself, so this doesn't happen.   Don't fall into the trap of thinking you have to excuse him because of his disease, or figure this out for him. Diabetes is not the problem. He's not doing what he needs to do, which is inexcusable. Don't tolerate it. Make...
      RHMLucky777
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      This is not okay! If he's had type 1 since he was twelve, he knows what he has to do to take care of himself, so this doesn't happen.   Don't fall into the trap of thinking you have to excuse him because of his disease, or figure this out for him. Diabetes is not the problem. He's not doing what he needs to do, which is inexcusable. Don't tolerate it. Make no mistake: You were in danger, and he put you there. The cops would have been a good  thing.  If others in his life have just put up with this, you need to be VERY clear that you won't. He'll either be responsible or not - without you. The idea that you are probably researching this privately says alot. If he's not just as freaked out as you are about the situation YOU were in, and isn't racing to see his doctor, or to figure out what happened, that's all you need to know. Get out. (And If he drinks, it's hopeless.) Talk to him. Don't let him dismiss it, or tell you he can't help it. Three times is enough. If he loves YOU, he will do something about this. It's not okay for him to show so little regard for you. He needs to manage this better.
    • Laura333
      Apr. 17, 2016
      Hi , I have read your message and totally get what you are saying , my partner is a type 1 diabetic , diagnosed about twenty years ago and once he drinks he is so nasty to me , I have never experienced anything like it . Once he was close to punching me in the face and the second time he knocked me over and I fell on the floor and banged my hand and he just...
      RHMLucky777
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      Hi , I have read your message and totally get what you are saying , my partner is a type 1 diabetic , diagnosed about twenty years ago and once he drinks he is so nasty to me , I have never experienced anything like it . Once he was close to punching me in the face and the second time he knocked me over and I fell on the floor and banged my hand and he just left me laying there . Tonight after drinking he has been verbally nasty to me , blaming everything on me and told me to f*** off and threatened to end the relationship and upcoming marriage in June . He swore that it was that close to ending and swore on his children's lives . He has stormed off to bed without any dinner and left me in tears wondering what to do ?? I absolutely love this man to bits but I hate his mood swings and being told that everything I do is wrong , but that I make him feel like dirt !! I am desperate for any advice .
    • georgeandjan2014
      May. 03, 2016
      I'm hearing you, my husband is the same, new diagnosed and hates the world cause of his chance in life style. He comes home on a high and is repulsive, his nastiness and drowsiness is frightful. then the next morning wakes like nothing has happened cause he can't remember.. its horrible!!
  • rodriguez.karen1.kr
    Jan. 23, 2016
    You are not alone. My husband was diagnosed several years ago while in the hospital for possible heart attack. He is taking a pill to help control the diabetes but if he does not eat regularly he starts getting very grumpy. I have been going to all of his doctor appointments with him first to know and understand what's going on in my husbands body, second,...
    RHMLucky777
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    You are not alone. My husband was diagnosed several years ago while in the hospital for possible heart attack. He is taking a pill to help control the diabetes but if he does not eat regularly he starts getting very grumpy. I have been going to all of his doctor appointments with him first to know and understand what's going on in my husbands body, second, I have become his advocate asking any questions that may arise including what the medication is for etc. We have started carrying glucose tabs in case he starts getting in a mood. And also if he has an accident while having problems he needs to have the tablets on him otherwise there could be some legal problems. You all have quite a burden to carry. The Diabetes Association has a website with lots of info. I seem to remember that they also have a phone number to call. When you and your significant other are relaxed and mellow you need to have a conversation. Possibly he/she may be a bit fearful about what's happened ing inside his body. Go with him to see his doctor. Make a list of questions you might have. Get his input. Look in your phone book for a listing of diabetes offices.
    • Sadtothebone
      Jan. 28, 2016
      Do you see an endocrinolist, or GP? Was your husband given any dietary instructions, education or guidance? Were you included in that? Did the doctor request that you be included, or did it just evolve that way because your husband was in the hospital? Have you always gone to all of his Dr. appointments with him? I am trying to figure out how one can begin...
      RHMLucky777
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      Do you see an endocrinolist, or GP? Was your husband given any dietary instructions, education or guidance? Were you included in that? Did the doctor request that you be included, or did it just evolve that way because your husband was in the hospital? Have you always gone to all of his Dr. appointments with him? I am trying to figure out how one can begin to be included in this process, and if an endocrinologist does better for their patients.
  • Jlgonzales
    Jan. 20, 2016
    I have been with my husband for 13 years. I am 37 years old and he is 50. I have been noticing his mood swings for the past 3 years. I know he has high blood pressure....Dr thinks he has sleep apnea...and I know 3 years ago he was told that he was border line diabetic. I truly believe he is diabetic now. He is over weight and has been drinking. I am just a...
    RHMLucky777
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    I have been with my husband for 13 years. I am 37 years old and he is 50. I have been noticing his mood swings for the past 3 years. I know he has high blood pressure....Dr thinks he has sleep apnea...and I know 3 years ago he was told that he was border line diabetic. I truly believe he is diabetic now. He is over weight and has been drinking. I am just a stressed and worried wife.
  • JekylHyde
    Jan. 15, 2016
    Thank you for posting this. I feel like you took the words out of my mouth. I've been dating a really nice guy for the last 6 months. He us 47 and I'm 44. In the second month of dating, the temper tantrums and mood swings appeared. I myself have recently been diagnosed with Cushings Disease and going through treatment, so living a calm and non stressful life...
    RHMLucky777
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    Thank you for posting this. I feel like you took the words out of my mouth. I've been dating a really nice guy for the last 6 months. He us 47 and I'm 44. In the second month of dating, the temper tantrums and mood swings appeared. I myself have recently been diagnosed with Cushings Disease and going through treatment, so living a calm and non stressful life is at the core of my healing process. I don't know how to tell him of his change in personality and his behavior. Him saying sorry happens so often, I'm not sure whether to take him seriously or not. He tries to make up for the horrible messages by buying me things. We love each other dearly but I cannot continue like this. Today he left his phone in his car at work purposely because he said that he gets constant work messages on his Whatsapp. He thus had little interaction with me. This evening he had another outburst, whilst trying to get hold of me. I had bumped into an old friend in the parking lot of the local supermarket and we got talking. He was most upset that I did not see his calls and most upset that I put my conversation first with my long lost acquaintance. I knew what my evening was going to look like. So in all honesty told him that I would be resting that evening, so I may not speak to him by phone that night. Hopefully he has calmed down by the morning and the man I fell in love with is back on cards. The other personality is controlling, defensive, telling and blaming, isolated from the world, you better comply or else I'm leaving you. It's only been six months and I'm tired of the tantrums. He sees no difference between the two personalities. This is the biggest problem. He never carried his blood glucose monitor around with him. Apart from that, he was diagnosed 15 years ago and it would seem that diabetes has affected his sexual performance. It took us 3 months before sex became normal as I know it. There are still issues and he seems to be very aware of it, always questioning and praising himself when the activity I deem normal has occurred. Look, I give him credit for trying, but not dealing with the underlying trigger is what I'm concerned about. I've watched a pattern evolve over the months. It would seem that when his blood glucose levels are out of balance, it goes hand in hand with the temper tantrums and the low sexual performance. I've asked him to raise the matters with his doctor. It's a silent topic and I don't want to nag him. Engaging in a calm conversation escalades into a fully blown argument in minutes. What can I do!?
    • Emeliz
      Jan. 15, 2016
      It's a rollercoaster of a life. I have to say I'm fed up of it. I have no partner. He is tired or stressed. No sex life. Plus I get to be the breadwinner and drive him around as he lost his licence to diabetes. Go me! What an enviable existence I have. He's always sleeping. Slept through most of our marriage. He is the only person I know who can go to the local...
      RHMLucky777
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      It's a rollercoaster of a life. I have to say I'm fed up of it. I have no partner. He is tired or stressed. No sex life. Plus I get to be the breadwinner and drive him around as he lost his licence to diabetes. Go me! What an enviable existence I have. He's always sleeping. Slept through most of our marriage. He is the only person I know who can go to the local shop for groceries and come back with an enemy. It's a tough life. Good luck, He won't talk about any issues. I feel like a moaner and just get on with it. The thought of another twenty years with him makes me feel ill
    • Sadtothebone
      Jan. 17, 2016
      This is to Emeliz-I laughed right out loud at the local store enemy thing! Same thing here, and my thoughts exactly, as I listen. lol So funny!
    • Sadtothebone
      Jan. 17, 2016
      First of all, you are not dating a nice guy just because he's nice sometimes. The other part is 100 % him, too. Just as real and part of the bargain, unless you refuse to accept it-completely. You can't separate the two things. He was nice for a month, which is proof he can control it, but he won't because he feels he doesn't have to. He tested you, and you...
      RHMLucky777
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      First of all, you are not dating a nice guy just because he's nice sometimes. The other part is 100 % him, too. Just as real and part of the bargain, unless you refuse to accept it-completely. You can't separate the two things. He was nice for a month, which is proof he can control it, but he won't because he feels he doesn't have to. He tested you, and you stayed. It does not get better. It gets worse. Your only chance is to take a stand, and if he doesn't change, GO. 6 months is not that long in terms of commitment, but already too long to have put up with it. I'm sure you were just so surprised, and now you are trying to find a "reason" for his behavior. Here it is-he does it because he can. He feels entitled. Period. If you were acting like that, would you think it was okay? Or would you be trying to stop yourself?! You know the answer. Give him an ultimatum. If you are worth it to him, he will figure out how to contriol it, himself, but my guess is he won't really try. He might for a bit to string you along, but... You have to mean it, too. Don't just settle for a "better". That's bs, and doesn't last. If he can be "better" for a while, he can stop. Don't worry about him. And you should know, he will NOT be there for you and your own illness. Take care of yourself. You have enough to worry about. Don't make excuses for him. Read up on abuse. Learn to label it for what it is. Moodiness is not accurate.
    • JekylHyde
      Jan. 18, 2016
      Thank you everyone for your replies thus far. It's staring me right in the face. You are absolutely right and I guess I have to give him an ultimatum. I'm more important to myself than he is. I quite like the observation that if he could control it in the 1st month, what's stopping him now - it's a choice he can make if I'm that important!
    • Emeliz
      Jan. 18, 2016
      Sadtothebone : We have to laugh or we will cry. Sometimes I feel like I don't know who he is anymore. Is it the high sugar guy, or the low sugar guy. I never know. I've completely shut down my emotions now. I have had diabetes rule my life for the last 10 years. I always say, I can live with that. It's the things that are free we don't enjoy, there is no fun,...
      RHMLucky777
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      Sadtothebone : We have to laugh or we will cry. Sometimes I feel like I don't know who he is anymore. Is it the high sugar guy, or the low sugar guy. I never know. I've completely shut down my emotions now. I have had diabetes rule my life for the last 10 years. I always say, I can live with that. It's the things that are free we don't enjoy, there is no fun, flirtation anymore. I feel I should be grateful as others have it worse, right? Then why do I feel like Im missing out on the normal stuff. I tell myself to stop moaning and maybe I should be a better wife. Truth is, I'm tired of having to be the fixer, the strong one all the time. He is always part of the problem, never the solution. Sorry for being negative. This has been getting progressively worse over the years. I'm always the peacemakers. He is so volatile, I just don't trust his judgement on anything anymore. I love him, that's why I put up with all this crap, but love is running low at the moment. I feel like I'm part of some test to see how supportive and nice I am. I worry if I leave some terrible thing will happen to me: A) I'll be found in a suitcase after a high sugar rage. B) I'll be struck down with some horrible disease, for being so unsympathetic C) I'll crack up, D) He will harm himself, either purposely, or neglectfully E) well I haven't thought of an E yet.
    • Sadtothebone
      Jan. 21, 2016
      Emeliz E) You will be free! and able to live YOUR life as you were meant to. You are in an abusive relationship: you just don't know it. You think it's different, because there is a "reason". Wrong. I feel like I want to start a campaign on here to get people to acknowledge what's really going on. I finally have. We all talk like our spouses are just unbelievably...
      RHMLucky777
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      Emeliz E) You will be free! and able to live YOUR life as you were meant to. You are in an abusive relationship: you just don't know it. You think it's different, because there is a "reason". Wrong. I feel like I want to start a campaign on here to get people to acknowledge what's really going on. I finally have. We all talk like our spouses are just unbelievably grumpy. We all think abuse is domestic violence only, and some on here are living with that, too, and STILL don't get it. We often think abuse only happens to other kinds of people like we see on the news; uneducated, lower class maybe, different kinds of people than us. We would never be in that situation, right? What if that guy who set his girlfriend on fire had diabetes? Does that make it better? Did that keep her from burning? I dismissed this myself, for a very long time. Even when a counselor told me the reason for the behavior doesn't matter. I have to decide whether I am willing to live with it. Even in spite of learning that my new counselor had put it in writing to my rhuematologist. ..."She still refuses to acknowledge she is in an abusive relationship." What?!  I thought they just didn't "get it". I thought I knew more than people with Masters degrees in psychology! I finally got it, myself, when I was researching what to do when you think someone you care about is being abused, for my friend who was worried about her cousin. My friend in her 1.1 million dollar house. (I am not that rich. lol) I sat there stunned, after reading about it and almost started shaking when I read this: The most common reason woman don't leave is that they think they are the only ones who understand their abuser, and the only one who can help them. They think their abuser needs them. ! This is true for people who are actually being beaten, even. I honestly felt like someone in a movie, who just discovered they were living with a dangerous psychopath. I just stared at those words. The behaviors described were MY life. Listen. Most people don't even joke about being found in a suitcase. It would never cross their mind. There is no difference between someone who won't control their diabetes and someone who wont control their drinking or drugs. If your husband was an abusive alcoholic, would that be okay with you? The bottom line  is they won't and don't control their temper. We are all the same people on here. It's not just that our spouses are all the same. WE tolerate it and make allowances. We are not helping. We are not good. We are not nicer than other people. We are in denial. I am working on this, and enjoy the exchange on here.
    • Sadtothebone
      Jan. 21, 2016
      You go Matilda! (I hope you know that movie lol)
    • Emeliz
      Jan. 22, 2016
      Sadtothebone: the exchange on here is helping me immensely. You speak so much truth. We went to speak to someone yesterday about finally claiming some type of help financially for him. We had to explain his symptoms. Sitting there explaining I actually cried. I finally felt validated that I wasn't cracking up. He also didn't deny it as he normally would. Today,...
      RHMLucky777
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      Sadtothebone: the exchange on here is helping me immensely. You speak so much truth. We went to speak to someone yesterday about finally claiming some type of help financially for him. We had to explain his symptoms. Sitting there explaining I actually cried. I finally felt validated that I wasn't cracking up. He also didn't deny it as he normally would. Today, I have watched all his toe nails fall off. It has made me feel so Ill. He told me that he had stopped taking his night insulin for three months. (he didn't even discuss this with me) No wonder life has been so hard. I just can't understand him anymore. The abusive relationship makes sense. He makes these decisions on a whim and I have to pick up the pieces. We have not been physical for six whole months, yet my heart still beats with a passion for life. I feel like I am slowly wasting away. Thank god for this site. It is such a release.
    • Sadtothebone
      Jan. 28, 2016
      Emeliz, I am so sorry for what you're going through. I didn't know how bad your situation is, and how far into the complications of diabetes your husband is. I am sympathetic towards your husband, but he has you. I am wondering who is there for you? Of course you cried, you are handling so much and I think maybe holding a lot of stuff in. Some of us are almost...
      RHMLucky777
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      Emeliz, I am so sorry for what you're going through. I didn't know how bad your situation is, and how far into the complications of diabetes your husband is. I am sympathetic towards your husband, but he has you. I am wondering who is there for you? Of course you cried, you are handling so much and I think maybe holding a lot of stuff in. Some of us are almost too strong for own good. Everyone needs support and an outlet sometimes. I don't know you, so maybe you already have a lot of that. If not, I would suggest you call The United Way and see a counselor. I think they have a sliding fee payment schedule.   If you've never tried it, imagine talking to someone caring and really smart, who truly understands and who's job is to listen and help you find solutions! That's counselling. Your not imposing, which is one of my hang ups. It's not moaning to want some relief! They don't have to disect your childhood. lol It's nothing like that, if you've ever wondered. I at first wrote down a lot of things that I know help with diabetes, but I don't know if your husband is cooperative at all. I keep thinking about you in a suitcase. :)  You are in a tough position to be sure, but you don't have to let his illness rule your life. I hope you get out and about, and do things for yourself. It's up to you whether or not, and how much you are willing to help him with his illness, and up to him if he will let you, but you don't have to just live with neglect or abuse, and just watch someone deteriorate and have no input. I hope that's not the case. You deserve to be respected and to feel loved and appreciated. Anyone can drive him around and watch him sleep and his toenails fall off. I understand wanting more from a relationship. I guess you are able to talk to his doctor. ??  It's very possible he has undiagnosed sleep apnea. My husband does. If that's the case, no matter how much he sleeps, he is really never rested, but there's treatment! I have made some real changes here, since finding this site. It really lit a fire under me! I will be happy to share what is helping at my house, if you're interested. This is a long enough buttinski reply as it is. lol I just wish you peace. I can't help wondering if you are ever afraid of your husband, like I was.
    • Emeliz
      Jan. 28, 2016
      Sadtothebone :) yes, he has scared me by his body language sometimes. We had a chat about our relationship the other night. All the swearing came out as he could not handle his emotions. I sat there and asked him, did he think it was ok to speak to his wife that way. We left the conversation. The next day he apologised again. He was a bit more honest. I've...
      RHMLucky777
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      Sadtothebone :) yes, he has scared me by his body language sometimes. We had a chat about our relationship the other night. All the swearing came out as he could not handle his emotions. I sat there and asked him, did he think it was ok to speak to his wife that way. We left the conversation. The next day he apologised again. He was a bit more honest. I've told him I'm not putting up with his diabetic crap anymore. I told him I am close to leaving, which I've kept telling him since before Christmas. Yes I would very much like to know what worked for you. He has made a real effort the last few days. I hope this may be repaired as I am really getting apathetic to the whole diabetic thing. Sad but true.
    • Sadtothebone
      Feb. 02, 2016
      Emeliz,  If your husband is sincere, and he probably is, and scared and depressed, too, I hope you can work it out.  He can't be happy, either. :(  Anyway, the first thing that helped, and has continued to help is ZOLOFT. If he stops that, I'm gone. It seems that his brain doesn't regulate seretonin any better than glucose. I noticed fairly soon that it...
      RHMLucky777
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      Emeliz,  If your husband is sincere, and he probably is, and scared and depressed, too, I hope you can work it out.  He can't be happy, either. :(  Anyway, the first thing that helped, and has continued to help is ZOLOFT. If he stops that, I'm gone. It seems that his brain doesn't regulate seretonin any better than glucose. I noticed fairly soon that it helped with poor decisions, and sleeping, and moods, don't ask me why, and curbs the appetite, too. Depression sucks. Anger is a symptom of depression in men! Who knew? And men often won't admit it or even understand it. You almost have to intervene. If my H  misses one day, I know it. I  don't know if it will help you guys, at all, but I thought I'd mention it. If your H takes heart or BP meds or statins, it's a very good bet he's depressed. He has to be. Anyway, this next part will just sound like more responsibility for you, so that's up to you, but it might really help. Until I got more involved, my husband was just screwing it up, because he really didn't know how to eat, but didn't want to hear it from me. He just took the prescribed meds, and didn't put it together how some things were affecting him, and didn't even tell me about any changes his Dr. made. Since glucose is the only fuel the brain uses and it needs it to function, if it's off that's a problem! If like my husband, your husband doesn't have it under control, he literally might not have the brain function to get there on his own, anymore. Plus, he's a guy. Just sayin. That's why I mean you would have to help him get it right. If his treatment routine was working for him, things wouldn't be so off the rails. No one ever taught my H how to eat, so I had to learn it, because he didn't.  Not just what not to eat, but what to eat. Maybe your husband is similar? Now I really know, too, so I eat the same way. (I know it's the way we should all eat anyway), and I want to eat together, and I wouldn't drink in front of an alcoholic all the time. Haha Of course you might already know all this, but if you don't, the American Diabetes site has great info under type1. It does work. If he's eating right, he's satified and his brain doesn't get hijacked, and he doesn't crave the wrong things, or feel deprived, and the meds work, and he doesn't spiral out, or into a sleep marathon. He's present. It really is amazing. Maybe your  H's Dr. needs to revisit his insulin administration, too. There are options. The A1C is not the whole deal. I believe in quality of life! Daily life. Since my husband decided to try it my way, he was able to get off all other meds - except the zoloft. His BP and triglicerides are normal again, and his cholesteral is getting better even, and he lost 50 lbs, and he is never hungry. And he is MUCH easier to live with. The BP meds and statins make things worse, add to the slowness, moods and depression. We just finally refused the statins. Period. And he was able to get off BP meds because of the low sodium of a real food only diet.  I was trying to do all this subtley, for a while, with moderate success,  but this site inspired me to take a stand and make him commit, not just try. To trust me when I see something is wrong with how he is acting. To listen to me. So, the whole point is you might have to help him get to a better place, and he will have to let you. That's the key. I get that it's  probably the last thing you feel like doing. Anyway, that's what works here, but at least it does, for now. I like my husband when he is not a pr*ck. I don't mind helping, and I know he needs me to, but I won't do it in vain. He can be VERY intimidating, when things are off. I'm not going to mother him or police things, but I will help. Maybe we feel we shouldn't have to take care of grown men, but maybe it's the only way to keep them vital.  ? This is the last long post lol I'm not really crazy. I just feel bad. I get it. If there's even  anything new here to you, I hope it helps
    • Emeliz
      Feb. 13, 2016
      Sadtothebone thank you so much for the advice. Unfortunately I think I am DONE with this. He was awarded disability money for his neuropathy. I was happy, so was he. However, I think the love has died. All the looks and shouting, mood swings, (he's not all bad) have slowly ebbed away at my resilience. I think I would prefer to be alone, skint and have a normal...
      RHMLucky777
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      Sadtothebone thank you so much for the advice. Unfortunately I think I am DONE with this. He was awarded disability money for his neuropathy. I was happy, so was he. However, I think the love has died. All the looks and shouting, mood swings, (he's not all bad) have slowly ebbed away at my resilience. I think I would prefer to be alone, skint and have a normal life. Xx
    • Sadtothebone
      Feb. 17, 2016
      Emeliz: I'm sorry :( but it seems like you have done and put up with more than enough. We only get one life. I'm still taking it a day at a time, for as long as it works. I got him on track, but now he owns it, and he knows it.(He started cooking!) Time will tell, though, and I won't go backwards. Even though I joked about it, I was mortified to see just how...
      RHMLucky777
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      Emeliz: I'm sorry :( but it seems like you have done and put up with more than enough. We only get one life. I'm still taking it a day at a time, for as long as it works. I got him on track, but now he owns it, and he knows it.(He started cooking!) Time will tell, though, and I won't go backwards. Even though I joked about it, I was mortified to see just how long my post actually was when it come up! I so wanted to delete it!  I really didn't think I would ever come back here.  Anyway, Good luck. :) I still laugh about the making enemies at the grocery store thing. You so nailed it. It's no way to live. That's for sure.
    • Emeliz
      Feb. 17, 2016
      Sadtothebone, :) I'm so glad you stuck around. I'm glad your oh, is taking control. I feel I have tried my hardest. I went to work today. My mum rang me to say my 7 year old daughter had been trying to contact her. My OH had had a hypo and she needed help. I was so angry he put her in a vulnerable situation. He lost his glucose machine. (again). We had a huge...
      RHMLucky777
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      Sadtothebone, :) I'm so glad you stuck around. I'm glad your oh, is taking control. I feel I have tried my hardest. I went to work today. My mum rang me to say my 7 year old daughter had been trying to contact her. My OH had had a hypo and she needed help. I was so angry he put her in a vulnerable situation. He lost his glucose machine. (again). We had a huge row when I got home. I told him I don't think I love him anymore. He flew into a rage and is currently down his mum's. I am just waiting for the repercussions now.
    • Sadtothebone
      Feb. 20, 2016
      E:Your poor daughter! I don't blame you for being furious! I can't help wonder what his mum thinks about all this, or if she knows. If she's helpful to you or if she coddles him. I guess the whole toenail, disability thing made me think you two were older, but with a 7 yr old, you can't be. We've hit our 50s, and maybe we can be your cautionary tale. I spent...
      RHMLucky777
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      E:Your poor daughter! I don't blame you for being furious! I can't help wonder what his mum thinks about all this, or if she knows. If she's helpful to you or if she coddles him. I guess the whole toenail, disability thing made me think you two were older, but with a 7 yr old, you can't be. We've hit our 50s, and maybe we can be your cautionary tale. I spent my prime dealing with this crap, and I thought my situation was unique! I missed a lot, and it hurts. Life is more peaceful right now, but it's not what it should be. Too many emotional scars.Too few good memories. Where did my life go? I sound like a cold grump, but I am actually very compassionate, and I just feel exploited. I guess that's why I'm so out spoken on here. I realize so much of my sacrifice was just unnecessary. So much of it is their choice.They should just marry one another, if they want to live like that! Life goes by fast, and we're not supposed to just get through it. Not for this.
    • Emeliz
      Feb. 20, 2016
      Sadtothebone: I am 42 and he is 45. I often get told I look 35 as I try and keep myself in good Nick. He acts like he is 95. You are right with the 'too few good memories' statement. His mum has a lot of empathy for me, she is not well herself, so I feel sad that she has this to deal with now. Since he has been gone, my home has been, quiet, steady and emotionally...
      RHMLucky777
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      Sadtothebone: I am 42 and he is 45. I often get told I look 35 as I try and keep myself in good Nick. He acts like he is 95. You are right with the 'too few good memories' statement. His mum has a lot of empathy for me, she is not well herself, so I feel sad that she has this to deal with now. Since he has been gone, my home has been, quiet, steady and emotionally even. I know this is just the calm before the storm. He knows I want to separate for a while. I'm not sure if it will be for good yet. I'm enjoying the normality of life with zero over reactions and negative thinking all the time. I guess I will miss him when it's time to put the 'rubbish' out for collection. I'm struggling juggling my job and finances at the moment as he has become unemployed now anyway. Im just taking one day at a time at the moment. It's been great talking to you, (someone who understands) it's good to even laugh about the crazy things. Thank you for your replies. They have really helped me :)
    • A.
      A.
      Feb. 21, 2016
      Hi everyone! I am glad that I have found this! I have been reading these posts and it really makes me better...I am not the only one who had the experince... I was dating a guy who is diabetic since age 4...our beginning was just amazing but afterwards, I was always stepping on eggshells... I am not american ( sorry about my english ), but I would like to tell...
      RHMLucky777
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      Hi everyone! I am glad that I have found this! I have been reading these posts and it really makes me better...I am not the only one who had the experince... I was dating a guy who is diabetic since age 4...our beginning was just amazing but afterwards, I was always stepping on eggshells... I am not american ( sorry about my english ), but I would like to tell you my experience dating a diabetic man... He is a super nice guy the most part of the time...but when he is low or high...OMG! It's awful! He cannot control his attitudes...Mood swings all the time...And I was the one who he could show his anger, rage, agressiveness and I don't know what more...The fights were very bad... I was quite perfect to him...We spent last summer together...travelled a lot and had lots of fun...We were extremely happy! He did everything to me...He was the perfect boyfriend ever! But when I came back to my country, he just broke up with me...No reason at all...He just preferred to live by himself...alone...in his "confort zone"...And for me it has been difficult to understand...We were like soulmates...I am sure about that! Maybe he is trying to protect me for bad things he could do in the future...Don't know... Anyway, I have to follow with my life...I am still too sad about all this situation...But I know I will be ok in a bit! Wish you my best... A.
    • A.
      A.
      Mar. 01, 2016

      Emeliz and Sadtothebone, I would love to change experiences with you  Is there any possibility? My best, A.

  • kedabugg3
    Jan. 13, 2016
    Hi, my name is Makeda Angela English. I have been a Diabetic for over 31 years and I take insulin twice a day. I have had horrible mood swings and it's caused horrible relationship issues for me and my family because of Diabetes. There have also been times when I did have good levels and I was upset because of a situation that was out of my control and I didn't...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    Hi, my name is Makeda Angela English. I have been a Diabetic for over 31 years and I take insulin twice a day. I have had horrible mood swings and it's caused horrible relationship issues for me and my family because of Diabetes. There have also been times when I did have good levels and I was upset because of a situation that was out of my control and I didn't control my anger the way that I should have. My husband that I am still married to, left me and my kids, 5 years ago, going on 6. I am blessed that my kids are tolerate of my moods and I keep my sugars in tighter control because I want to be there for them. I don't know why I get stubborn at times when it comes to taking my medicine on time or eating on time or checking my blood sugars on time. I am so angry because I feel as though no one understands when I am just overly tired or the fact that sometimes I have no real control over my health. People who aren't Diabetic but who have family members that are Diabetic are very sympathetic and they say they understand. But the bottom line is, unless you are a Diabetic, you really have no idea of the emotional or physically issues we have to deal with and it sucks. I am grateful for my church and for my family. I have very low finances, so the fact that my husband left me the way that he did to tend for 3 kids by myself has kicked my butt tremendously. I was always in and out of the emergency room, losing jobs left and right, no insurance that came with many of these jobs so bills have piled up so much it is ridiculous and my credit is horrible. I have tried to commit suicide several times but because I have 3 kids who need me, I was able to stray away from that feeling by seeking counseling through my church. I could never be that selfish. There are so many things that I could have accomplished already had I not been diagnosed at age 7. I had dreams of being a lawyer being married with kids and living a great life. Now I am living in an extended hotel, 1 bedroom with 3 kids, barely able to afford to get supplies, eat on time and have enough to eat at that. Most organizations don't understand the needs of a Diabetic so they don't understand the need for assistance on the basis that I need it. I miss my husband at times but what keeps me going is the fact that I pray to God everyday, I have a church who helps me with my kids and I have 3 of the greatest, most understanding kids in the world. The minute I start to get fussy, my sarcastic 15 year old son says to me, " Sounds like somebody needs to check their blood sugar" Yes, I get even angrier but he is right and I go back and apologize to my kids later. God is good and I know that something is better for me and my kids. I thank everyone who is related to a Diabetic and is going through what they are going through. Please be patient with us but if it gets to the point that you have no peace in your home or if it becomes violent, then leave. Sometimes you have do what you need to do in order for that person to change. I know I had to. My husband cheated on me with another woman and just up and left me. I know I had bad mood swings but I never thought he'd leave me for another woman. Whether she was the reason or not, I know that only I can be responsible for my actions when it comes to my health. It is my choice. And I choose to do better for my kids.
  • Izzy
    Jan. 10, 2016
    Thank you so much for posting this message Karen: I totally sympathise with you , and understand what you and the other people on this forum have been going through. My husband and I have been married for over 35 years, and I have been trapped in a progressively deteriorating and abusive relationship since he was diagnosed with diabetes type 2 at the end of...
    RHMLucky777
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    Thank you so much for posting this message Karen: I totally sympathise with you , and understand what you and the other people on this forum have been going through. My husband and I have been married for over 35 years, and I have been trapped in a progressively deteriorating and abusive relationship since he was diagnosed with diabetes type 2 at the end of the 1970s. To cut a long story short, I have somehow managed to stay with him despite his terrible moodswings, tantrums and drinking problems, but these days, I feel I have reached the end of my tether, and need help too, as this situation is beginning to affect my physical health because of the stress it causes me. The worst about the whole situation is that he denies having a problem, and I am quite certain that he has not leveled with his various doctors either... Nowadays, communications have become so very difficult that I avoid speaking to him most of the time: I cannot say anything without him berating me or blowing his top, or considering my words as a personal attack! Furthermore, over the years, he has turned into a control freak, and interferes with whatever I do. To keep the peace, I relinquished financial control over our life to him years ago, which was a big mistake, since it is now a major obstacle to me leaving him if I finally decide to reclaim the tatters of my life. Yes, diabetes is no bed of roses, and the best advice I could give to those of you still young enough to start anew is to pack your bags while you can. That way, the waste of my own life may still help to motivate some of you...
    • Treesa
      Feb. 08, 2016
      WOW...I can absolutely relate to your situation. My husband is a type1 diabetic and I've always said he's the most stubborn human on the planet. His moods swings, depression, past addiction to opiods, have really taken a toll on me. And, I feel I'm at a crossroad in my life and need to make a decision. It's hard for anyone to really understand. I'm torn, because...
      RHMLucky777
      Read More
      WOW...I can absolutely relate to your situation. My husband is a type1 diabetic and I've always said he's the most stubborn human on the planet. His moods swings, depression, past addiction to opiods, have really taken a toll on me. And, I feel I'm at a crossroad in my life and need to make a decision. It's hard for anyone to really understand. I'm torn, because I feel bad "quitting" on my husband (although he's quit on himself and our marriage long before I have) and I'm MOST worried about my kids. I have 3 young ones 12, 11 and 9. I know it will be hard for them to understand, should I decide to make the leap and divorce. I'm really scared. But, less scared when I read posts that show me that I'm not the only one and taking care of myself (and my kids) should be the number 1 priority.
  • burntapples
    Jan. 09, 2016
    I have completely struggled with this in my own marriage. (As often as just recently I found out he hasn't checked his BS in over two weeks! thanks to my daughter bringing me his meter and asking what it was while I was getting ready one morning. Guess that means he probably doesn't check it often enough if they don't know what his glucose meter is). I found...
    RHMLucky777
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    I have completely struggled with this in my own marriage. (As often as just recently I found out he hasn't checked his BS in over two weeks! thanks to my daughter bringing me his meter and asking what it was while I was getting ready one morning. Guess that means he probably doesn't check it often enough if they don't know what his glucose meter is). I found this article to be really helpful and a comfort to me as I struggle with feelings of anger, resentment, and hopelessness when I find he chooses not to care for himself. http://burntapple.com/2015/06/18/diabetes-and-marriage/
  • Graceful Giraffe
    Jan. 08, 2016
    My partner of 4 years is 48 & had sudden onset of type 1 diabetes when he was 27. He has his mood swings but primarily shuts down & won't communicate. Our relationship is so insecure because he says he can't properly commit because diabetes will kill him one day & life is just much easier on his own so his death won't impact on me. He says hurtful...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    My partner of 4 years is 48 & had sudden onset of type 1 diabetes when he was 27. He has his mood swings but primarily shuts down & won't communicate. Our relationship is so insecure because he says he can't properly commit because diabetes will kill him one day & life is just much easier on his own so his death won't impact on me. He says hurtful things & constantly pushes me away & then denies saying or doing those things & blames me for being too emotional or sensitive. He hates the disease with a passion previously being very healthy. He eats well & keeps fit but he never monitors his blood sugar levels, saying he can tell when he needs a dose. Does anyone else's partner behave in this way, choosing to put happiness on hold & wait for death by diabetes?
  • Gladys
    Jan. 05, 2016
    Hi, It's just getting worse. We have been married for nearly 30 years now. I adore him BUT I don't recognise him any more. he's forgetting things, not on a daily basis but by the hour! I just cry all the time now. He is so nasty. He says I'm making things up, he says I'm mental. I try to talk to him but he is just not interested! He has always been a clean...
    RHMLucky777
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    Hi, It's just getting worse. We have been married for nearly 30 years now. I adore him BUT I don't recognise him any more. he's forgetting things, not on a daily basis but by the hour! I just cry all the time now. He is so nasty. He says I'm making things up, he says I'm mental. I try to talk to him but he is just not interested! He has always been a clean smart man but his personal hygiene has just stopped! I have to tell him daily that he needs to shower. He refuses and says I had one last week!!!! so we argue, then all he does is have a quick wash! I've watched him he doesn't even put the plug into the sink he just runs the tap and wets a face cloth wipes his face and hair!!!!!! if I say why havn't you filled the sink, he will look me in the eyes and argue that he did!!!!!!!! If I don't put his clothes into the wash basket when he takes them off he wears them for days! This is just not like him, but when I talk to him about it he's so nasty and turns every argument around on to me! When I remind him of things we have talked about or done he is adamant we have never talked or done things! He watches the same things on TV time and time again, when I say we have watched the particular programme before, he just reply by saying "you have lost it we have never seen it before" Some times it's like living with a child. He leaves the car keys in the ignition on our drive over night. he forgets! If he is last to bed he forgets to lock the doors. I got up at 2.45am last week because I heard voices down stairs. when I went passed his bedroom I saw he was in bed but when I came downstairs the lights, fire and TV were still on. When I told him the morning after we had ANOTHER argument he just says I am lying, he says I'm always looking for a argument! I want my husband back, I'm so sad just don't know what to do anymore! He will not get any help! I'm so worried that the only option left to me is to leave!
    • Sadtothebone
      Jan. 11, 2016
      You need to make an appointment with his doctor for yourself to advise him of the changes and talk with him. It's your right and responsibility.
    • Sadtothebone
      Jan. 11, 2016
      I'm sorry you are going through this. Itv must be very hard. This is beyond moodiness, though. It's become a real mental illness. The doctor will listen. Don't worry about that.
    • Susie
      Feb. 06, 2016
      I agree with the previous comment that a complete physical is needed. Many of these symptoms may come from an early onset of some type of dementia. Frontal temporal dementia is rare, but can have many of the symptoms your husband is displaying. Giving much of the information about the behavioral changes could be given to the doctor prior to the visit; esp.,...
      RHMLucky777
      Read More
      I agree with the previous comment that a complete physical is needed. Many of these symptoms may come from an early onset of some type of dementia. Frontal temporal dementia is rare, but can have many of the symptoms your husband is displaying. Giving much of the information about the behavioral changes could be given to the doctor prior to the visit; esp., if your husband will become most upset if you try to tell the doctor in front of him. Maybe he just needs adjustments to his diabetic medications. Good luck.
    • Gladys
      Mar. 13, 2016
      Thank you for your reply. I have talked to my husbands Doctor, he did listen but said there is nothing he or I can do if my husband doesn't want to be helped! He suggested I started a diary and write down the events and episodes. Then if I look at his blood test results for the days things happen, I can see if they occur when he has high or low blood sugar.....
      RHMLucky777
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      Thank you for your reply. I have talked to my husbands Doctor, he did listen but said there is nothing he or I can do if my husband doesn't want to be helped! He suggested I started a diary and write down the events and episodes. Then if I look at his blood test results for the days things happen, I can see if they occur when he has high or low blood sugar.. that's fine but he doesn't test any more!!!! he hasn't tested for years, he says he doesn't need to because he is fine and he has got IT under control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He takes his NOVA RAPID insulin 4 times a day through the day he also takes his LANTUS (slow release) at 8am every morning, he will not take it on a night. when I tell him he is supposed to take it on a night to stop his blood sugar dropping, he gets really angry with me, he says he is the diabetic and not me. he says I am trying to kill him!!! he says if he takes it on a night he will go to sleep and never wake up. His Diabetic consultant has told him he needs to take it on an evening, but that was a couple of years ago and he swears Dr never said that. I'm so very sad, I think it is the end of the road for us. 30 years. I can't watch or be part of this any more. It's making me ill. I'm scared
  • HOPE
    Jan. 03, 2016
    You have to find support for yourself and your diabetic loved one. I had dreaded the weekends for the most part b/c he is@ and mostly irritable b/c he is off schedule and therefore his bloodsugars are whacky too. For him it's a way of life, for me I try to catch him when he is trying to engage me on a non-irritable level -generally at days end when he wants...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    You have to find support for yourself and your diabetic loved one. I had dreaded the weekends for the most part b/c he is@ and mostly irritable b/c he is off schedule and therefore his bloodsugars are whacky too. For him it's a way of life, for me I try to catch him when he is trying to engage me on a non-irritable level -generally at days end when he wants to focus just on me. I know the patterns, the antics, the whole ins and outs of this man. I know all the feelings and emotions and so do my now teen kids. They need to learn how to process with their Dad. They have had to aappropriately process with coming of their maturity and age deal with Daddy. Just like a stranded puppy you wouldn't abandon....it's been a long road of coping, it's not easy. It's not easy for him. I am reaching out right now b/c it's helping me to process the hurt I've been through yesterday. Acceptance, awareness, as my friend says-keeping your stuff on your side of the fence he has his-helps me to lessen my need for control, what about me syndromes....life has it's dark sides...some more than others....I just count my blessings! Life is too short to hold onto the anger, bitterness.....process healthily....we are all coping with life-prayers work and so do friends! Don't isolate yourself and family....get the support....
  • S
    S
    Jan. 01, 2016
    I just want to say that it is a huge relief to find a community of people who understand the reality of what it's life living with this situation.
  • TKH
    TKH
    Jan. 01, 2016
    I have read a lot of the posts in this thread. I am a male 44 year old type 1 diabetic, had this awful disease for 33 years. I feel very sad that a lot of you have gone through the awful side effects of this disease. I am going to get help from my doctor tomorrow and se if there is a specialist who can help me. I love my wife and kids and have tried to explain...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    I have read a lot of the posts in this thread. I am a male 44 year old type 1 diabetic, had this awful disease for 33 years. I feel very sad that a lot of you have gone through the awful side effects of this disease. I am going to get help from my doctor tomorrow and se if there is a specialist who can help me. I love my wife and kids and have tried to explain this is not me when I get angry. I am thinking possibly yoga, meditation or some kind relaxation therapy along with better management. Perhaps targeting a blood glucose range just above normal also. Wish me luck, not gonna give up. I think more diabetics should read these posts.
    • Sadtothebone
      Jan. 13, 2016

      Good for you. Anti depressants really help. Good luck to you.

    • kedabugg3
      Jan. 13, 2016
      I just read yours and I added a comment as well. I am a Diabetic and it sucks. I am praying that all works out for you as you look for ways to assist with anger. I will too.
    • Gladys
      Mar. 13, 2016
      WELL DONE you for recognising you need help. I wish you luck stay strong,
  • lroberge
    Dec. 26, 2015
    I am at my wits end. My husband was diagnosed first as a Type 2, then it progressed to Type 1 five years later. He was angry and always wondered "why me". he didn't take care of himself or watch his diet. No family history, so that has made him more angry. We have 3 grown children, 5 grandchildren and have been married almost 35 yrs. He has changed so much...
    RHMLucky777
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    I am at my wits end. My husband was diagnosed first as a Type 2, then it progressed to Type 1 five years later. He was angry and always wondered "why me". he didn't take care of himself or watch his diet. No family history, so that has made him more angry. We have 3 grown children, 5 grandchildren and have been married almost 35 yrs. He has changed so much in the 9 yrs since diagnosis, but it has been real bad in the last couple years. I was atributting it to his company was sold and his job will end when the new company has made the final transition. He is always mentioning about how it sucks having to give himself a shot and check his blood sugar, I am sick of hearing about it. I have tried to see if he is angry and his blood sugar is too high or too low, but see no correlation. And sometimes, he is great. Helps me around the house, etc. But, at his worst, I can't do anything right, and verbally berated, and he brings his micro manager skills home from work and tries them on me. When I call him out, he gets more angry and more verbally abusive. I want to be loved and have someone love me. I don't have much sympathy for his disease. I have had a disease that requires constant meds for 38 yrs., so to hear him complain all the time gets on my nerves. He is very opinionated and lets everyone know how he feels on different subjects, sometimes on how kids should be raised to our daughter, which makes her mad and she comes to me. I think with the disease and the job loss, he is depressed and needs to be on meds for that. Don't know if I should call his dr. and voice my concerns to them to see if they can help. I am very familiar with the HIPPA laws and that they can't tell me anything, but I feel they need to know and see if they can see a change.
    • Sadtothebone
      Jan. 11, 2016
      You are right. Hippa does not mean they can't listen. I finally did it, and it did help.
  • Angie
    Dec. 20, 2015
    My husband was diagnosed with Diabetes a while back, he is turning into a monster. I am verbally abused and blamed for everything. I can do nothing right in his eyes. It is getting so bad I am thinking of leaving him. But worry what will happen to him if I do. I still want to be loved and be happy, I can't spend the rest of my life as a doormat to his insane...
    RHMLucky777
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    My husband was diagnosed with Diabetes a while back, he is turning into a monster. I am verbally abused and blamed for everything. I can do nothing right in his eyes. It is getting so bad I am thinking of leaving him. But worry what will happen to him if I do. I still want to be loved and be happy, I can't spend the rest of my life as a doormat to his insane comments about me which is breaking me down, I really don't want to spend the rest of my life in this state. Please help, as I believe that this is the cause for his abuse and aggression.
    • S
      S
      Jan. 01, 2016
      I have no advice, but I'm in the same place you are.
    • S
      S
      Jan. 01, 2016
      I have no advice, but I'm in the same place you are.
    • happybrumbum
      Jan. 05, 2016
      I completely understand how you feel as I am in a similar situation with my husband of 45 years with type 2 diabetes being angry and verbally putting me down the majority of the time.I also have checked his blood sugar recordings when he is in the awful moods but I can't see any pattern as to highs or low blood sugar readings being the cause of his severe moodiness....
      RHMLucky777
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      I completely understand how you feel as I am in a similar situation with my husband of 45 years with type 2 diabetes being angry and verbally putting me down the majority of the time.I also have checked his blood sugar recordings when he is in the awful moods but I can't see any pattern as to highs or low blood sugar readings being the cause of his severe moodiness. I too have got to the point I don't think I can take muchore but I am too old to leave and start a life alone.
    • Sadtothebone
      Jan. 13, 2016
      Forget the numbers on the monitor. It's the fluctuation and instability of the blood sugar. It's when it is dropping that he has the problem. If he eats something that spikes it, but doesn't last. It's all about enough fiber and fat to slow the process. Look for slow digesting carbs, Steel cut oats are miraculous, but you still need fat with them. Add some...
      RHMLucky777
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      Forget the numbers on the monitor. It's the fluctuation and instability of the blood sugar. It's when it is dropping that he has the problem. If he eats something that spikes it, but doesn't last. It's all about enough fiber and fat to slow the process. Look for slow digesting carbs, Steel cut oats are miraculous, but you still need fat with them. Add some milk with fat or butter or sonething. Try it. It really works. A proper diet is your answer.Also, I believe Glipizide is the devil. Metformin is much better.I don't know what your husband takes, but my husband did terrible on Glipizide. VERY scary. Also, anti depressants. There's a problem with seratonin in diabetics.
    • Gladys
      May. 26, 2016
      Angie, i feel for you I am in the exact same position as you. I have tried EVERYTHING, talking to him,his family members,friends, doctors, diabetic nurses, consultant and read every article i can, but i can not find a answer. I have loved him totally for 35 years now, he was my sole mate my best friend. I don't know him any more. he is so nasty to me. We have...
      RHMLucky777
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      Angie, i feel for you I am in the exact same position as you. I have tried EVERYTHING, talking to him,his family members,friends, doctors, diabetic nurses, consultant and read every article i can, but i can not find a answer. I have loved him totally for 35 years now, he was my sole mate my best friend. I don't know him any more. he is so nasty to me. We have always had a very loving physical relationship. He hasn't kissed,hugged or made love to me for 9 years now. I wish I didn't love him it would be so easy to walk away, but i long to have him back. even though i know he is never going to be like he was, HE JUST WILL NOT ACCEPT HE HAS CHANGED, HE WON'T GET HELP. HE SAYS IT IS ME THAT HAS CHANGED HE SAYS I'M MENTAL HE SAYS IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD. i have no means to support myself i have nowhere to go. i really don't know how much more i can take. I cry several times a day 7 days a week. i'm desperate. PLEASE don't think it's you, I do get strength from reading comments on this web site. AND KNOWING IT'S NOT MY FAULT, IT'S HIM NOT ME. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
  • carole.duggie
    Dec. 11, 2015
    Yes I can identify with you regarding your husbands mood swings. I really have found the last few year's very difficult. My husbands tolerance level is zero he really has changed too. No consideration for anyone else just in his own bubble. I have recently retired and being around more I have found his mood swings intolerable! I really am at my wits end I have...
    RHMLucky777
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    Yes I can identify with you regarding your husbands mood swings. I really have found the last few year's very difficult. My husbands tolerance level is zero he really has changed too. No consideration for anyone else just in his own bubble. I have recently retired and being around more I have found his mood swings intolerable! I really am at my wits end I have tired several ways of addressing the problem with him but he does not think he has a problem.perhaps someone out there has an answer.
    • happybrumbum
      Jan. 05, 2016
      Ohhh my goodness it's good to see im not alone in feeling just how you are, my husband is exactly as you describe your husband. I can't do anything right, he doesn't like me having friends or interests even down to my doing adult colouring, tonight he said it was more waste of money! he has no interest in anything other than watching TV! I get no love no affection...
      RHMLucky777
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      Ohhh my goodness it's good to see im not alone in feeling just how you are, my husband is exactly as you describe your husband. I can't do anything right, he doesn't like me having friends or interests even down to my doing adult colouring, tonight he said it was more waste of money! he has no interest in anything other than watching TV! I get no love no affection and ad for a sex life .... say no more.
  • Englishrose
    Dec. 07, 2015
    I can totally relate to you 100%, we've been married for 17 years and my husband was diagnosed 20 years ago. He's a type 1. His mood swings and the way he talks to us is actually to a point where it's heart breaking, he will call us names etc, he thinks he's very organized but he misplaces things etc and I get the blame for moving them!! He's mentally abusive...
    RHMLucky777
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    I can totally relate to you 100%, we've been married for 17 years and my husband was diagnosed 20 years ago. He's a type 1. His mood swings and the way he talks to us is actually to a point where it's heart breaking, he will call us names etc, he thinks he's very organized but he misplaces things etc and I get the blame for moving them!! He's mentally abusive but not sure if this is related to diabetes. He is also either a complete liar or he has a multiple personality thing going on because He will lie about the most ridiculous things. My two girls are teenagers now and are coming to me saying there's something wrong with him, they don't want to be around him at all. I don't want our marriage to end but I'm at the point where I'm absolutely miserable and lonely and I can't cope with this anymore. He won't see anyone about it because he believes there's nothing wrong.
    • kazzarose007
      Dec. 29, 2015
      I have been married to my husband for 10 years , he has type 1, I don't know what to do he eats loads of cakes and rubbish and says he can eat what he wants as long as he has insulin which we alk know is rubbish. I can't cope with the abuse any more he makes me feel like I'm an idiot, he points out stupid things , like things I say abd causes an argument and...
      RHMLucky777
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      I have been married to my husband for 10 years , he has type 1, I don't know what to do he eats loads of cakes and rubbish and says he can eat what he wants as long as he has insulin which we alk know is rubbish. I can't cope with the abuse any more he makes me feel like I'm an idiot, he points out stupid things , like things I say abd causes an argument and says if I spoke properly and used words from the dictionary he wouldn't get angry I tin ge us going mad or I am I don't know any more.
    • Downunder
      Jan. 30, 2016
      I totally understand what you are going through. My husband was diagnosed on his 40th birthday nice present! He is a difficult man to live with, he is sarcastic, defensive, angry and controlling. I have 2 boys who are in their late teens and I feel sad every day that if gave them this father. I tell them that their father has the problem not them. I am on the...
      RHMLucky777
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      I totally understand what you are going through. My husband was diagnosed on his 40th birthday nice present! He is a difficult man to live with, he is sarcastic, defensive, angry and controlling. I have 2 boys who are in their late teens and I feel sad every day that if gave them this father. I tell them that their father has the problem not them. I am on the cusp of leaving this man although I am held back because of my children.
    • Treesa
      Feb. 08, 2016
      I can relate very closely with your post. Except, I have 3 kids (12,11 and 9) who will be devastated if we divorce, in spite of the obvious issues. I just don't want them to think this is a normal life. I want to model a healthy life for them and a health relationship. I may need a support group as I navigate the decision to divorce or stay married. I hate...
      RHMLucky777
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      I can relate very closely with your post. Except, I have 3 kids (12,11 and 9) who will be devastated if we divorce, in spite of the obvious issues. I just don't want them to think this is a normal life. I want to model a healthy life for them and a health relationship. I may need a support group as I navigate the decision to divorce or stay married. I hate to quit on him, but I feel like he's quit on himself and me a long time ago.
    • Gladys
      Mar. 13, 2016
      reading your post is like looking at mine! It's such a relief to read this is happening to other people (not that I wish it on anyone!) because it confirms that it's NOT ME. my husband has nearly convinced me that it's me, it's all in my head, I'm making it up, he says I'm always looking for arguments, I'm exhausted, I'm scared I know my marriage is over. I...
      RHMLucky777
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      reading your post is like looking at mine! It's such a relief to read this is happening to other people (not that I wish it on anyone!) because it confirms that it's NOT ME. my husband has nearly convinced me that it's me, it's all in my head, I'm making it up, he says I'm always looking for arguments, I'm exhausted, I'm scared I know my marriage is over. I think we need to decide what is best for us not them. stay strong
  • fionabillmoffatt296
    Nov. 13, 2015
    Thank you all so much for giving me some clarity. I have been marrued to my husband for 33 tears. He was diagnosed as type 2 a couple of yesrs past. Most of the time he is fine, but he "likes" a pint...this is when his mood swings start as the sugar levels go crazy. As I have read...thank goodness I am not alone. Our children have all flown the nest and have...
    RHMLucky777
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    Thank you all so much for giving me some clarity. I have been marrued to my husband for 33 tears. He was diagnosed as type 2 a couple of yesrs past. Most of the time he is fine, but he "likes" a pint...this is when his mood swings start as the sugar levels go crazy. As I have read...thank goodness I am not alone. Our children have all flown the nest and have no idea how nasty and aggressive he can get. These moments arent too often but are upsetting. He also doesnt tell the truth to the doctors and is also Mr NiceGuy ....shame he cannot see the Jeckyll and Hyde character that his all over the place sugar levels create.
    • SimplySue21
      Nov. 14, 2015
      My husband gets the same way. He was told to start getting some exercise and eating right 10 years ago and ignored it. He is now Type 2 and eats better, sometimes, but when he is home he is either asleep (12 -14 hours a night) or sitting on the couch watching tv till he falls asleep. If I wake him up he is mean and spiteful. He seems to think its all my responsibility...
      RHMLucky777
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      My husband gets the same way. He was told to start getting some exercise and eating right 10 years ago and ignored it. He is now Type 2 and eats better, sometimes, but when he is home he is either asleep (12 -14 hours a night) or sitting on the couch watching tv till he falls asleep. If I wake him up he is mean and spiteful. He seems to think its all my responsibility to make foods he can eat and it's all my fault when his sugar is high. I am ready to leave him. It breaks my heart because we used to be best friends but I don't know him anymore either. He is no fun, we don't have relations anymore (He can't hardly) and he doesn't want to do anything or be social at all. I am depressed because of this and my only companions are my dogs. I almost wish he would just die it would be easier to deal with. Even saying that makes me feel horrible but I can't stand it much longer and if I was not disabled I would have been out of here already!
    • carole.duggie
      Dec. 11, 2015
      I too am glad that I am not alone!thank you for sharing, What is the answer.?
  • Chabodeuxx
    Nov. 12, 2015
    Diabetes only affects the mind when the bloodsugar is out of its normal range. Many of you wrote that your "beloved" is refusing to take responsibility for his actions. Surely, im not saying that you should confront him while he is raging, but later... If nothing else works, record the rage sessions and force the diabetic to listen to it later. If the diabetic...
    RHMLucky777
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    Diabetes only affects the mind when the bloodsugar is out of its normal range. Many of you wrote that your "beloved" is refusing to take responsibility for his actions. Surely, im not saying that you should confront him while he is raging, but later... If nothing else works, record the rage sessions and force the diabetic to listen to it later. If the diabetic truly loves you...he will make changes in his life. As a type one diabetic, I have personal experience on how bad bloodsugar can spiral into ignorance. The better your overall bloodsugar is, the less intense the mood swings are and they occur less often. For example now I have minor rage issues, I can easily supress them and they only happen every now and then. I remember, 12 years ago I used to groan and jump on people, i was frustrated all the time. My personaly didnt change much, just the chemistry in my brain. Many of you came here to find hope or a sollution. There is one, but only if the diabetic is willing. Dont be afraid of using drastic measures. If you are just watching the diabetic ignoring his diseasue, he will die. Reminding the person that he ll be dead in 5 years, or wont be seeing his kids growing up can be powerful tools. I know it sounds cruel, but its better to be cruel and live, god forbid...live happily than to suffer for years and end up with a dead husband. Lot of things can be done to improve bloodsugar levels. Physical activities are the best sollution... increasing insulin levels, changing insulin, changing diet...Just to come up with an example. I got hooked up on working out and when im through with my insane 2-3h workout, I can literally eat anything, my bloodsugar will still drop. If i was sitting on my butt all day i could eat those things with 3x more insulin (maybe). So physical activity isnt just improving your mood, insulin sensitivity, overall health, but it also gives you freedom to bring foods back to your diet, which otherwise were banned. IF you cant induce these lifestyle changes ... you are better off moving on. If nothing changes, nothing will change, except the diabetics health. Everyone deserves happiness, and even if your married, you didnt sign up for this. Surely it sounds awful to leave someone who is sick, but not adressing a sickness is A CHOICE and you cant be FORCED to accept that choice. Surely there is a more complex psychology behind this...but at the end of the day you need to be reminded that the diabetic still have choices and its also a choice to not make any changes and to blame others.
    • Sadtothebone
      Nov. 13, 2015
      Wonderful post. Clear eyed, thought provoking and encouraging. You so perfectly put things in the proper perspective. Many of us need to take our power back for our own lives, and require more responsibility from our partners in taking care of themselves. Thank you. Sincerely.
    • kazzarose007
      Dec. 29, 2015
      Can u help me please I don't know what to do any more.
    • kedabugg3
      Jan. 13, 2016
      Thank you for this post. I am a single Diabetic mom of 3 and I definitely have gone through these moods but because I want to be there for them, I know I have gotta take better care of myself. Thank you again for being honest......and setting the record straight.
  • worriedwife
    Nov. 09, 2015
    I know I'm repeating what so many others have said on this thread, but like everyone else, I feel like there is so little information out there for this aspect of the disease. My husband and I have been married 2 years, but together for 15. We've only lived together for the two years we've been married, and so it's only been recently that I've seen him in action...
    RHMLucky777
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    I know I'm repeating what so many others have said on this thread, but like everyone else, I feel like there is so little information out there for this aspect of the disease. My husband and I have been married 2 years, but together for 15. We've only lived together for the two years we've been married, and so it's only been recently that I've seen him in action 24/7. OMG. Normally, he is the sweetest, most caring and loving person. Not to say that he doesn't get grumpy or such from time to time. We all do. I'm not talking about that. What I'm talking about is the instantaneous, 180-degree about face he does -- out of the blue!! One minute we're just talking about something. The next minute he is jumping down my throat about some perceived attack I've thrown at him. Picking, picking trying to start a fight. Woe is me. I do the best I can type of comments. Obviously nothing I do is good enough he says (poor me, poor me)... and it goes from there. The first few times I had no idea what was going on and fell right into the trap. We didn't talk for days. Now, more often than not, I see it coming, and just walk out of the room while he's in mid-sentence. I just say I'm not going to argue with you. Fortunately (??) my first husband was an alcoholic and I got a lot of valuable help and information from 12-step programs. Those tools help tremendously in my current situation, but I'm angry that I am back in this situation. It's the last thing I would have expected. My current husband is very good about his diet, so drinking has never been an issue with him. What irony that the behavior is so similar! I, too, am watching my happily-ever-after begin to disintegrate.
    • Kat123
      Nov. 10, 2015
      I know exactly how you feel, my husband has been type 1 since he was 3years old. Yet he does not manage it. I have seen him check his glucose twice in six years! His mood swings are horrible, combined with being a shift worker the kids and I cop it. Unfortunately they don't understand why dad snaps at them. I have tried ultimatums of start controlling or we...
      RHMLucky777
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      I know exactly how you feel, my husband has been type 1 since he was 3years old. Yet he does not manage it. I have seen him check his glucose twice in six years! His mood swings are horrible, combined with being a shift worker the kids and I cop it. Unfortunately they don't understand why dad snaps at them. I have tried ultimatums of start controlling or we leave with no success. I get it must be horrible to have the disease but he gets no sympathy from me anymore, he chooses not to care for himself suffer the consequences. He has had it long enough to know better. Unfortunately I had come to the sad reality that it looks like I'm leaving, I can't do this roller coaster anymore with someone who doesn't care. Good luck xx
    • worriedwife
      Nov. 10, 2015
      Thanks for writing. You have to take care of yourself and your kids, and sometimes leaving the situation is all that's left to do. I wish you good luck whichever way you decide.....
  • diehlly
    Nov. 05, 2015
    My mother has Type 2 and is so up and down its scary. The mood swings are insane like - a conversation can turn out of control in 30 seconds and i become no good and selfish. Just glad to know i am not alone. She eats cake and then take insulin and thinks it is cured. I tell her your masking the disease - it is still there.....no exercise - she doesn't eat...
    RHMLucky777
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    My mother has Type 2 and is so up and down its scary. The mood swings are insane like - a conversation can turn out of control in 30 seconds and i become no good and selfish. Just glad to know i am not alone. She eats cake and then take insulin and thinks it is cured. I tell her your masking the disease - it is still there.....no exercise - she doesn't eat well. She will go all day and only eat a banana - we know when the insanity anger is ready to unleash. Like a thunderstorm approaching
    • Lulu
      Nov. 07, 2015
      OMG!! I just thought to type in diabetic mood swings and got goosebumps reading about the exact problem I am having with my husband of 47 years. The last 2 or 3 have been nothing but downhill. Is there anything that can be done about this? Has anyone talked with the dr. of the diabetic? I am going to my dr. on Tues. and you bet I am bringing up this subject...
      RHMLucky777
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      OMG!! I just thought to type in diabetic mood swings and got goosebumps reading about the exact problem I am having with my husband of 47 years. The last 2 or 3 have been nothing but downhill. Is there anything that can be done about this? Has anyone talked with the dr. of the diabetic? I am going to my dr. on Tues. and you bet I am bringing up this subject front and center. I am becoming so depressed over my used to be happy and friendly husband. I miss the old guy
  • sarah__h
    Nov. 03, 2015
    I have been dating my boyfriend around 6 months now. Within a week of dating I saw him have a hypo luckily I called an ambulance and managed to save him from going into a coma. This past weekend has been a weekend from hell. For 3 full days I had non stop abuse in unrepeatable texts and screaming and shouting down the phone. It's only now that he says his mood...
    RHMLucky777
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    I have been dating my boyfriend around 6 months now. Within a week of dating I saw him have a hypo luckily I called an ambulance and managed to save him from going into a coma. This past weekend has been a weekend from hell. For 3 full days I had non stop abuse in unrepeatable texts and screaming and shouting down the phone. It's only now that he says his mood swings are down to his diabetes. I don't want to disrespect anybody but for 3 full days a rage because of diabetes could this be true?
    • Sadtothebone
      Nov. 12, 2015
      Yes, and be glad he acknowledges it, at least. Most don't! If he knows it, and does not just think of it as a good excuse, maybe there is hope for you. If he really believes it, he will go to his doctor-with you-and discuss it. Insist on that! This needs attention from doctors. Good luck!
    • DorianRC
      Feb. 01, 2016
      It's definitely true. I'm going on 7 months with my boyfriend and we now live together. I've seen the worst of it, I hope. You have to come up with some type of acknowledgement exercise to make him feel stupid for his behavior. I stay quiet now, and let him know I won't respond to him like that. I check his sugar myself, almost every morning and night now....
      RHMLucky777
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      It's definitely true. I'm going on 7 months with my boyfriend and we now live together. I've seen the worst of it, I hope. You have to come up with some type of acknowledgement exercise to make him feel stupid for his behavior. I stay quiet now, and let him know I won't respond to him like that. I check his sugar myself, almost every morning and night now. You catch on after a while. Did he eat a lot? It might be high. Have you been out and haven't eaten anything, it's gonna go low. Just pay attention to his activities. Like of have to act like his mom. Good luck!
    • Rose
      Feb. 02, 2016
      hello Sarah, Three full days of anger is nothing compared to my 5 months of anger and silent treatment I received from my husband of 37 years, over my wrongly typing his name while making some flight reservations. His anger was unheard of followed with 5 months of silent treatment. This was last year. This year he became extremely angry on Christmas day because...
      RHMLucky777
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      hello Sarah, Three full days of anger is nothing compared to my 5 months of anger and silent treatment I received from my husband of 37 years, over my wrongly typing his name while making some flight reservations. His anger was unheard of followed with 5 months of silent treatment. This was last year. This year he became extremely angry on Christmas day because he didn't like the present i bought for him. silent treatment again and it is still going on. my husband was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes since when he was 40 and now he is 60. in these 20 years he is transformed into a totally different person, who doesn't resemble at all to my high school sweet heart I married. There is no way this becomes easier. Diabetes is merciless and diabetic sufferers do not want to take any steps to do something about themselves. trust me on this one. i have done extensive research to try to find out how to cope with my husband but there is very little out there, rather superficial, general advice. My husband, at this point, does not speak to his own mother, sister, me, our younger son and quite a bunch of other family members and friends. With some of them, in years! This is so unfortunate. Here it is my 2 cents: get out of your relationship right now! Recite to yourself: life is soooo short, life is sooooo short, life is soooooo short! Recite this mantra to yourself every single day and let go!
    • Breefit07
      Feb. 10, 2016
      My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and he has had a few hypo issues and also very high blood sugar. When the high blood sugar incidents occur he gets incoherent and stumbles around in a fit of rage. He gets angry and hateful. Last night it happened a third time and this was the worst. I feared for my safety for the first time with him and he...
      RHMLucky777
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      My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and he has had a few hypo issues and also very high blood sugar. When the high blood sugar incidents occur he gets incoherent and stumbles around in a fit of rage. He gets angry and hateful. Last night it happened a third time and this was the worst. I feared for my safety for the first time with him and he acted like he was going to get physical with me when I tried to help. I went in the other room and he eventually passed out on the floor and I was able to check his blood sugar and administer the appropriate amount of insulin. It is very scary and I was really worried all the banging and yelling at 3am when he woke up like this was going to get the cops called. I am so glad I found this forum. I felt so lost last night and upset. This morning has been really bad and I love him so much but am very upset that it got to that level and am scared it could happen again and get worse. Anyone else deal with fits of rage and rambling nastiness when their partner gets to a severe level of high blood sugar?!
  • mattcruzmom
    Oct. 28, 2015
    I can't tell you the relief that I feel reading all of these comments. My husband is 42 and very overweight. He's had Type 2 Diabetes for about 13 years now. He had kidney cancer last year and was very fortunate to have one kidney removed and it had not spread anywhere else. He is on 2 different insulin pens as well as a ton of other medications. The cost of...
    RHMLucky777
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    I can't tell you the relief that I feel reading all of these comments. My husband is 42 and very overweight. He's had Type 2 Diabetes for about 13 years now. He had kidney cancer last year and was very fortunate to have one kidney removed and it had not spread anywhere else. He is on 2 different insulin pens as well as a ton of other medications. The cost of his medications even with insurance is staggering. Over the past few years he has become more and more moody. He turns everything around to blame it on me. He has now had 7 different health care professionals tell him that he will not live to see his grandchildren if he does not lose the weight and get his diabetes under control. This just makes him more depressed and he eats more. I am at my wits end with his mood swings and constant fighting over the craziest things. I just want my life back and I want me and our kids to be able to live in a normal, stable environment where we are not constantly walking on egg shells. I am beyond relieved to know that I am not alone. There needs to be a support group for spouses.
    • Englishrose
      Dec. 07, 2015
      I know where you coming from, it's honestly something that I thought I was the only one dealing with
  • Mike s
    Oct. 26, 2015
    Hi all, I am a diabetic, type 2.I am fully aware of mood changes due to , in my case, sudden low swings of blood glucose. My wife is boarder line diabetic now & we often fight/squabble over nothing really. Learning to recognise the feeling of 'trouble' is very important, the long term effects of this condition can be devastating. Pay close attention to...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    Hi all, I am a diabetic, type 2.I am fully aware of mood changes due to , in my case, sudden low swings of blood glucose. My wife is boarder line diabetic now & we often fight/squabble over nothing really. Learning to recognise the feeling of 'trouble' is very important, the long term effects of this condition can be devastating. Pay close attention to your drug and/or diet regime. Don't ignore this condition. Unfortunately a lot of people have diabetes and don't realise it, just moody personalities that don't go to the doctors because they think that's normal for them. Just a time bomb.
    • Sadtothebone
      Oct. 26, 2015
      It's wonderful that you take such good care of yourself and are so self aware! Most of us here are dealing with diabetics who do not take care of themselves, blame everyone else, and see no corelation between their sugar levels and their moods and rage. They don't and won't acknowledge the problem-their problem, and that they are the only ones who can fix it....
      RHMLucky777
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      It's wonderful that you take such good care of yourself and are so self aware! Most of us here are dealing with diabetics who do not take care of themselves, blame everyone else, and see no corelation between their sugar levels and their moods and rage. They don't and won't acknowledge the problem-their problem, and that they are the only ones who can fix it. Did any doctor ever talk with you about this? Maybe you could start a blog for diabetics titled: It's NOT them. It's YOU and your blood sugar! :) Maybe they would listen to you....
  • thegoodgirl
    Oct. 13, 2015
    My partner is 28 and I'm 25 we have been together for a year and half. He has type 2 diabetes. When he was in his teens he was fat but now he's not just has a little tummy. He drinks a lot of water and eats kind of healthy depends on his moods. I brought up to him once last year that when we have sex his erections aren't hard enough or even hard at all so maybe...
    RHMLucky777
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    My partner is 28 and I'm 25 we have been together for a year and half. He has type 2 diabetes. When he was in his teens he was fat but now he's not just has a little tummy. He drinks a lot of water and eats kind of healthy depends on his moods. I brought up to him once last year that when we have sex his erections aren't hard enough or even hard at all so maybe he should see a doctor about it. He got so defensive, said I'm lying, that I don't know what I'm talking about and that his penis works well and stopped having sex with me because of my comment for about 2 months. Since we have been together I have never been on top as he goes soft. So he basically does all the work and it's just becoming boring because I wanna do different things. It's so bad now that I don't get fully turned on anymore so I just pretend like everything's ok. Now I just don't wanna have sex so I've been avoiding it which I hate because I love him. I'm just scared to tell him again that he needs to go to the doctors about it because Of his bad reaction. I don't know what to do anymore.
    • Angie
      Dec. 20, 2015
      It is the Diabetes, and he will get worse with time. His moods will swing, he will become verbally abusive to you, he is only 28, what will he be like by 40?? you have to consider if you plan to marry this man if you want to spend a life of no sex and being blamed and verbally abused for life. Think carefully about what you want for your life before thinking...
      RHMLucky777
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      It is the Diabetes, and he will get worse with time. His moods will swing, he will become verbally abusive to you, he is only 28, what will he be like by 40?? you have to consider if you plan to marry this man if you want to spend a life of no sex and being blamed and verbally abused for life. Think carefully about what you want for your life before thinking things will get better....trust me they will not.
    • Izzy
      Jan. 10, 2016
      Get out while you can!
  • Tired of this crap
    Oct. 12, 2015
    As Im reading the comments Im thinking: 'oh my gosh! We're all dating the same guy!' I love him but i love myself more. Im out!
  • Chabodeuxx
    Oct. 11, 2015
    I have been a diabetic for 13 years, experienced some things. Injecting insulin 4-5 times a day. Reading some of the stories and putting together with my experience, I would like to lay down some points to deal with the situation: 1, Fix bloodsugar by adopting lifestyle changes (workout, sticking to routine etc) 2, If the diabetic is already raging, give her/him...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    I have been a diabetic for 13 years, experienced some things. Injecting insulin 4-5 times a day. Reading some of the stories and putting together with my experience, I would like to lay down some points to deal with the situation: 1, Fix bloodsugar by adopting lifestyle changes (workout, sticking to routine etc) 2, If the diabetic is already raging, give her/him space, it will pass quite quickly. The rage isnt against you, or what you are doing, its just there and the diabetic is waiting to leash out. 3, Improving bloodsugar levels on the long run will decrease the intensity of the rages and they will happen less and less often. You can reach a point where they will appear as normal frustrations, which can be handled easily. If the bloodsugar is swinging too much, the diabetic wont have the necessary energy/patiance to deal with the frustration. If it only happens every now and then, he/she will restrain him/herself and surpress it. 4, If the diabetic isnt willing to fix his/her bloodsugar...you are f.cked! :(. 5, Diabetes isnt a jail free card. Its like a sentence reduction :). What i mean is that you cant blame everything on it. As I said, when the bloodsugar is already in peril and the person is raging, you cant do much. But when everything is fine, the diabetic can adopt changes that will likely fix the issue. You need to force them to make those changes. If they are unwilling, you might just have to give up on them. If your diabetic is in a deep hole (his/her bloodsugar levels are constantly bad), try to convience him/her to start working out or do some sport regularly. That will help to deal with the stress, fix's bloodsugar levels, decreases insulin resistance. We are talking about huge changes. I have great long term results (bloodsugar) and I have a really high sugar/carbohydrate dose in my diet. The diabetic need to understand that he/she can eat anything, Its just a trade off. You want a slice of cake after your dinner? Sure, but then eat half of your usual rice or potatoe ration. Its just an example. All i mean is that physical activity gives you more freedom and space to widen your diet and include foods that would normally be banned for you.
    • Sadtothebone
      Oct. 26, 2015
      It's wonderful that you take such good care of yourself and are so self aware. The problem for most of us here is that the diabetics in our lives don't and won't acknowledge that it's a problem, and it's their problem. We can't fix it or we would. Maybe you could start a blog for diabetics called: It's NOT them. It's YOU and your blood sugar! Get it together....
      RHMLucky777
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      It's wonderful that you take such good care of yourself and are so self aware. The problem for most of us here is that the diabetics in our lives don't and won't acknowledge that it's a problem, and it's their problem. We can't fix it or we would. Maybe you could start a blog for diabetics called: It's NOT them. It's YOU and your blood sugar! Get it together. :) Did any doctor ever talk to you about this? It seems to be ignored or dismissed by most. I don't understand that.
  • janefallaw29
    Oct. 05, 2015
    As I was searching about diabetics and mood swings I came across this site. Wow I seriously thought I was alone until now. When my husband and I started dating he was eating healthy, exercising, and doing better with trying to control his blood sugar. Well, one night we went out and he had some drinks and I saw a complete different side of him and thought it...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    As I was searching about diabetics and mood swings I came across this site. Wow I seriously thought I was alone until now. When my husband and I started dating he was eating healthy, exercising, and doing better with trying to control his blood sugar. Well, one night we went out and he had some drinks and I saw a complete different side of him and thought it was him feeling uncomfortable. However, I've noticed anytime he drinks alcohol or he's not checking his sugar, or eating right that his mood changes like the wind. He can be in a great mood one minute and a little while later his entire mood changes. He'll say hateful things to me and if I tell him that I'm stressed bc of how he's acting, he'll then turn it around and blame everyone else other than himself. He doesn't see his mood swings and he's really defensive if I say anything to him about it. Other friends have noticed it as well and it's almost like he's bipolar, but the next morning or a few hours later he'll act like nothing ever happened. His sugar does tend to run high and if it's normal he says he doesn't feel right. I honestly don't know what to do :( I love him and the good days are great, but I constantly feel like I'm walking on eggshells and never know what to expect from one moment to the next. I've always had an outgoing personality but I've noticed that I'm not the bubbly person I once was bc I'm always worried about how he's gonna act. I feel like I'm constantly uptight and stressed. When I tell him I'm stressed and that he's been acting off he just says I don't have to be with him and I'm always blaming things on him, and goes onto say other things that hurt my feelings beyond belief. He always finds a excuse to why he acted like he did, and none of the reasons are ever about himself. He constantly says I don't love him, and other things and it has me question if anything I do will ever be good enough. He's a great stepdad to my kids and wonderful dad to his children as well. I feel like I'm the one that he takes everything out on and he has a way of turning things around to make me feel sorry for him and I end up being the one to apologize. I don't know what to do...I've even left for a few days and gone to my moms and I missed him like crazy, but in another sense it was peaceful. He started texting me over and over and I didn't respond for hours bc I felt like my mind was exhausted. When I wouldn't reply and a few hours would go by you could tell his sugar was back up bc he was being an a** again, and a little while would pass by and then he'd be back to acting sincere. It's almost like he's insecure about everything and it's taken a lot out of me :( What can I do before I have to walk away from this relationship :(
    • jacsmjohnson
      Oct. 09, 2015
      When I read this I thought I must have written it in my sleep. It's exactly my situation! I'm walking on eggshells everyday. And my husband doesn't eat right, and I see the changes in him when he doesn't. The next time he goes to the doctor, or maybe right before, I am going to mention this to his doctor. I will ask him to ask it in a general way, about the...
      RHMLucky777
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      When I read this I thought I must have written it in my sleep. It's exactly my situation! I'm walking on eggshells everyday. And my husband doesn't eat right, and I see the changes in him when he doesn't. The next time he goes to the doctor, or maybe right before, I am going to mention this to his doctor. I will ask him to ask it in a general way, about the anger, like, do you ever feel angry or lash out at people? But I will ask him to please not mention to the doctor that it came from me because boy will I hear it when he gets home. It's always all my fault unless the kids get good grades then it's his. Even though he never helps them with their homework because he yells at them and they'd rather get a bad grade then have him help them. Sad but true. My older kids have figured it out, go to tutoring. He was not like this before his type 2 diagnosis, it's like it just appeared! I mean gosh with the mess he had to add creator, with Crestor he has to ad coQ, now he has some gerd issues. His sugar is always high he does not get low sugar. I think it makes him angry the blood higher and stuff. It just keeps coming and so do the outbursts. There have been many times when I've just wanted to walk away for some peace and quiet. The living on the edge is probably why I've gained weight! All I can say is. Report it to his doctor some way. Exercise and eat right yourself and take care of your children, put them in activities that show them what other adults are like, my boys are in Scouts. I feel like he is going to get sicker and sicker because of his lack of self care. So I'm taking care of me for the kids just in case. You can only help a person so much, they've got to help themselves at some point.
    • wastate
      Oct. 25, 2015
      Thank you so much for this post, I am going through the am thing!
    • Olga2606
      Oct. 29, 2015
      Is crazy! I feel the same. I just don't know what to do? Giving him space? Going away? Divorce him? My husband is an alcoholic and has diabetes 1. He doesn't eat right, doesn't check his blood sugar often. His mood is horrible when the sugar is high. He is 39 years old, I love him deeply. But this situation is driving me insane. I guess be patiente and try...
      RHMLucky777
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      Is crazy! I feel the same. I just don't know what to do? Giving him space? Going away? Divorce him? My husband is an alcoholic and has diabetes 1. He doesn't eat right, doesn't check his blood sugar often. His mood is horrible when the sugar is high. He is 39 years old, I love him deeply. But this situation is driving me insane. I guess be patiente and try to talk while they are OK. In my case is hard. He tells me I nag him so much and I am a bitch. He says that his previous ex girlfriends were not like that. He called me crazy last night. Is frustrating!!
    • GivingUp
      Dec. 18, 2015
      Your description is my situation exactly... All of it :( My husband wants a divorce, he's ruining our family...I'm afraid of the effects on my young children. Everything is always my fault, because I'm 'such a huge b!tch'....There's no intimicy, affection, no sex life... Its been that way for years... If I say anything about it, its all my fault..because I...
      RHMLucky777
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      Your description is my situation exactly... All of it :( My husband wants a divorce, he's ruining our family...I'm afraid of the effects on my young children. Everything is always my fault, because I'm 'such a huge b!tch'....There's no intimicy, affection, no sex life... Its been that way for years... If I say anything about it, its all my fault..because I say he should help around the house more... Gee I'm so horrible.
    • JekylHyde
      Jan. 15, 2016
      Thank you for posting this. I feel like you took the words out of my mouth. I've been dating a really nice guy for the last 6 months. He us 47 and I'm 44. In the second month of dating, the temper tantrums and mood swings appeared. I myself have recently been diagnosed with Cushings Disease and going through treatment, so living a calm and non stressful life...
      RHMLucky777
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      Thank you for posting this. I feel like you took the words out of my mouth. I've been dating a really nice guy for the last 6 months. He us 47 and I'm 44. In the second month of dating, the temper tantrums and mood swings appeared. I myself have recently been diagnosed with Cushings Disease and going through treatment, so living a calm and non stressful life is at the core of my healing process. I don't know how to tell him of his change in personality and his behavior. Him saying sorry happens so often, I'm not sure whether to take him seriously or not. He tries to make up for the horrible messages by buying me things. We love each other dearly but I cannot continue like this. Today he left his phone in his car at work purposely because he said that he gets constant work messages on his Whatsapp. He thus had little interaction with me. This evening he had another outburst, whilst trying to get hold of me. I had bumped into an old friend in the parking lot of the local supermarket and we got talking. He was most upset that I did not see his calls and most upset that I put my conversation first with my long lost acquaintance. I knew what my evening was going to look like. So in all honesty told him that I would be resting that evening, so I may not speak to him by phone that night. Hopefully he has calmed down by the morning and the man I fell in love with is back on cards. The other personality is controlling, defensive, telling and blaming, isolated from the world, you better comply or else I'm leaving you. It's only been six months and I'm tired of the tantrums. He sees no difference between the two personslities. This is the biggest problem. He never carried his blood glucose monitor around with him. Apart from that, he was diagnosed 15 years ago and it would seem that diabetes has affected his sexual performance. It took us 3 months before sex became normal as I know it. There are still issues and he seems to be very aware of it, always questioning and praising himself when the activity I deem normal has occurred. Look, I give him credit for trying, but not dealing with the underlying trigger is what I'm concerned about. I've watched a pattern evolve over the months. It would seem that when his blood glucose levels are out of balance, it goes hand in hand with the temper tantrums and the low sexual performance. I've asked him to raise the matters with his doctor. It's a silent topic and I don't want to nag him. Engaging in a calm conversation escalades into a fully blown argument in minutes. What can I do!?
  • Katie Annette
    Oct. 04, 2015
    When I found this post i was the happiest person but also the saddest i was happy that i wasnt alone on the constant roller coaster of emotions, but sad knowing what everyone has to put up with. Iv been with my diabetic type 1 boyfriend for over a year now and at only 16 iv been abused iv been thrown on the road iv been bruised cut and screamed at for quite...
    RHMLucky777
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    When I found this post i was the happiest person but also the saddest i was happy that i wasnt alone on the constant roller coaster of emotions, but sad knowing what everyone has to put up with. Iv been with my diabetic type 1 boyfriend for over a year now and at only 16 iv been abused iv been thrown on the road iv been bruised cut and screamed at for quite sometime, when his levels are high its like he is possessed and he is a totally different person. I just wish there was a cure its now midnight and im reaching out because im so sick sad & tired of this torture. I cant deal with this much longer its breaking me.
    • Sadtothebone
      Oct. 04, 2015
      It does not and will not get better, and You cannot fix or change it. That's a mistake many of us make. Even if your bf is great in other ways, it is a package deal, you have to realize that you literaly cannot have the good guy without the bad guy -ever. There is no way to separate them, and the bad guy will get worse. He will rob you of your own life. This...
      RHMLucky777
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      It does not and will not get better, and You cannot fix or change it. That's a mistake many of us make. Even if your bf is great in other ways, it is a package deal, you have to realize that you literaly cannot have the good guy without the bad guy -ever. There is no way to separate them, and the bad guy will get worse. He will rob you of your own life. This is a dangerous situation and you need to get out. Learn from this and NEVER make allowances for this behaviour from ANYone again. The reason doesn't matter. You have a right to be happy, safe, peaceful and respected. If you have kept it a secret, don't anymore. Talk to someone (not him) and get away. And then PLEASE learn about abuse and/or get councelling. You are very young and naive. Abuse is abuse and the number one reason women stay is because they think they can help the person. Those battered women that you think you would never be....guess what, you are already there. It is not your fault, unless you stay. Diabetes is not the only reason people abuse, so learn from this and NEVER make allowances. Do not keep it a secret, either. The fact that you have found this site, tells me you have been trying to figure it out and "understand" instead of seeing it for what it is. Get away. He is not your responsibility, you are, and you can't help him. You need to be free to BE.
    • Sadtothebone
      Oct. 04, 2015
      Katie, I am still thinking about you and the fact that you are only 16. Are you too afraid to leave or to tell anyone? Are you afraid he is actually out of control when he abuses you? He's not. Here's how you can tell. Does he do it IN FRONT of anyone? No, right? That's not a coincidence. And the first time he put his hands on you and you did not call the cops...
      RHMLucky777
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      Katie, I am still thinking about you and the fact that you are only 16. Are you too afraid to leave or to tell anyone? Are you afraid he is actually out of control when he abuses you? He's not. Here's how you can tell. Does he do it IN FRONT of anyone? No, right? That's not a coincidence. And the first time he put his hands on you and you did not call the cops told him he could keep abusing you and you would put up with it. I bet it was kind of gradual in escalation. First he just threw a fit or got made for no truly good reason. Maybe he was jealous? Or you did some little thing he didn't like? He didn't throw you on the ground on your first date, did he? I doubt it. I hope you would have gotten away and called the cops. Everytime you stayed or came back, you told him you were willing to be abused, and keep it a secret. t's that simple and you can't undo it. He will not see the error of his ways. You cannot teach him or love him out of it. It is who he is. He thinks it's okay. It's about contril. Sugar does not make one abusive. It may give them a short fuse, like pms, but not what you are talking about. Do not keep this to yourself. At 16 you are not in the same position as many here. There is a big difference between your situation and people who are already married for years and maybe have children when this starts ! Then it is a family thing and more complicated. In fact if he is your age, his family should be the ones dealing with it. Anyway, most of us have not been physically abused or threatened. My husband has never laid a hand on me and knows I would call the cops if he did. Your situation really worries me. You need to label it as domestic abuse, not problems with sugar. Please reach out to someone. He does not love you or this would not be okay with him. Honestly. No matter if he's always sorry. If it didn't stop, he's not sorry enough. He doesn't do it to others does he? He doesn't attack any big strong guys I bet. Just you. He controls it elsewhere or he would be in jail by now. Do whatever you have to to get out of this. You are in over your head. If you are totally isolated, check out Georgia Rules. Be your own best friend.
    • Sadtothebone
      Oct. 04, 2015
      Oops. I meant "When Georgia Smiled". Forget diabetes, educate yourself about abuse...
  • Sadtothebone
    Sep. 28, 2015
    I was actually looking , yet again, for some scientific correlation between blood sugar levels and anger, when I found this site! I guess it was the different search this time; Diabetes and anger. My stories and expierences with my husbands irrational, abusive anger are the same as others here. I'm defeated and desperate and scared, and somewhat comforted,...
    RHMLucky777
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    I was actually looking , yet again, for some scientific correlation between blood sugar levels and anger, when I found this site! I guess it was the different search this time; Diabetes and anger. My stories and expierences with my husbands irrational, abusive anger are the same as others here. I'm defeated and desperate and scared, and somewhat comforted, I guess, that I am right about what is happening, only because obviously the right diagnosis is the only way to ever fix a problem. Also, it's quite a relief to find others who understand. I don't know why this is ignored by endocrinologists and doctors, or why the Diabetes Assoc. only talks about the patient's anger at the desease! That part is common for a lot of deseases, and should be addressed, but it is not THE anger issue with diabetes. I am 20 years in, very caring and empathetic, but feeling very helpless and alone. I would like to address the people with the desease who have made their appeal here. Have YOU talked to your doctor about THIS issue? Do you really think this is about a lack of empathy on others part? Do you think people don't feel for your problem, try to understand and navigate and help? Do you think we owe it to you to just tolerate it? This blog is filled with people who have dealt with this for years, exhausted all their ideas and resources and stayed. They have NO control, but keep trying. They don't even have the support they might get if they were dealing with an accepted mental illness, or even just another chronic illness that is exhaustive to loved ones. Alzhiemers patients do not know what they are doing. YOU DO. Stop excusing yourself, because you can't help it. You CAN help it. You can' t always control the anger FEELING -we get that-but you can control your actions! It's called SELF RESTRAINT. You don't lash out at your boss or the huge buff guy in the grocery store, or anyone you want to like you, or that you are afraid of. You do it to your partner and family because you can. Because apparently you feel you are more important than they are. Control yourself. Get help with it. We KNOW you feel justified in the moment, but you are not. There is something in you that makes you tell yourself it's okay, and you need to work on that, because it's NOT. Here's what you can do-refuse to lash out. Period. Decide that if your anger is justified in any way, it will still be justifiable later, when you are controlled and can be handled appropriately then. It's a matter of self discipline. REMIND YOURSELF THAT NOTHING JUSTIFIES VERBAL, MENTAL OR PHYSICAL ABUSE. EVER. And work on controlling your illness. Do what you are supposed to! Suck it up and deal with it. My thyroid being off has the same exact same effect on me, but I know it is my problem, and that I have no right to just release it on others so I feel better. I sometimes even acknowledge outloud that I am just so keyed up, and feel like taking someone's head off, and I try to joke about it, but I never aim it anyone, BECAUSE IT IS NOT FAIR OR OKAY to do that. People are much more understanding when they are not being attacked!! Hold it in. Go for a walk. Go for a ride and yell at the inside of the car. Hit an inanimate object IN PRIVATE, so it is not done to intimidate. Or grow up. I would rather let someone get away with something, then lash out in error. That is a DECISION you make. Like not soiling your pants in public. JUST DON'T DO IT. REQUIRE MORE OF YOURSELF. I really do understand, and so does everyone here. People are turning themselves inside out trying to understand and help and deal with their loved one with diabetes. They deserve a life too. It is not all about you. Get over yourself and your own importance, and if you have enough insight to know it, just STOP It, and report it to your doctor. The doctors need to know what we all know, so they can find a way to help. YOU need to be searching for answers, fir ways for YOU to cope. I also have two other autoimmune diseases that have robbed me of plenty, and feeling threatened robs me of my adrenal health and can cost me the whole day. How about that? How about my husband worry about MY health for a change? My diet? My meds! My struggles? My losses? If he did I would be very grateful. I would not attack him. I do not feel he should suffer because my life is challenging, but he does not feel the same, I guess. When I read these other posts, I want to say: Go. Save yourself. It doesn't get better. I think I may just have to do that, myself. It doesn't look there are any answers on the horizon. The medical community appears to be completely ignorant about all this. !
    • mariettawilliams
      Nov. 02, 2015
      You are not alone and you are not the cause of this problem. Be strong and be true to yourself. I so relate! Nothing excuses mistreating loved ones. My dear husband of 25 years YELLED at me last night to "Shut the f*** up!" He has never done that before, but he has always been subject to sudden devastating mood swings that have dramatically worsened lately....
      RHMLucky777
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      You are not alone and you are not the cause of this problem. Be strong and be true to yourself. I so relate! Nothing excuses mistreating loved ones. My dear husband of 25 years YELLED at me last night to "Shut the f*** up!" He has never done that before, but he has always been subject to sudden devastating mood swings that have dramatically worsened lately. We'll be getting his blood sugar checked asap.
  • luanneg63
    Sep. 15, 2015
    My husband of 20 years is a type 1 diabetic. He would intentionally keep his sugar low because he said it was the high blood sugar that was dangerous to his body in the long run. He would just ignore the 2 car accidents he got into with my kids in the car. I would spend at least 2 nights a week losing sleep because I was the one who would have to make sure...
    RHMLucky777
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    My husband of 20 years is a type 1 diabetic. He would intentionally keep his sugar low because he said it was the high blood sugar that was dangerous to his body in the long run. He would just ignore the 2 car accidents he got into with my kids in the car. I would spend at least 2 nights a week losing sleep because I was the one who would have to make sure he drank the juice or feed him small amounts of cookies, then change the sheets because they would be soaked with sweat (just bringing it wasn't enough, I had to suffer abuse and name calling until he finished). He swore I overreacted at his behavior during those episodes and that I had taught the kids to overreact also. One time his blood sugar was low and anything I gave him to eat he threw up so I called the paramedics. He screamed at them to get out and they told him that I was the one who would have to tell them to leave . I was afraid my husband would go into a coma with their help and our relationship suffered because of it. After that incident, I had to promise him that I would never, ever call the paramedics again, even If he was lying on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. All that stress, pressure, anxiety and lost sleep -- and he's leaving me because he can't deal with my menopausal symptoms.
    • Sadtothebone
      Sep. 29, 2015
      You sound like a giving person who deserves better than she has gotten. Better it was menopause than some truly dibilitating illness where you needed him. Find someone less selfish who will cherish you. Take care of yourself.
  • ginginjudd
    Sep. 13, 2015
    I just referred my stepmother to this website and I scrolled through half the comments and now I wish I hadn't referred her to it. There must be someone who has learned some coping skills for themselves and their diabetic loved one. I'd like to hear from someone who hasn't given up!
  • tanishapickens99
    Sep. 09, 2015
    I have been in a realaatioship with someone that is diabetic. We have been together for 7 years.....I have been the most humble loving patient person for him.I have been sitting here reading all these letters situations and never did i once think that there was othere people going threw my same situation. I am not diabetic but i was alsogoing threw a depression...
    RHMLucky777
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    I have been in a realaatioship with someone that is diabetic. We have been together for 7 years.....I have been the most humble loving patient person for him.I have been sitting here reading all these letters situations and never did i once think that there was othere people going threw my same situation. I am not diabetic but i was alsogoing threw a depression state because of my mate being so angry with me.....i thought it was little altercations between the two of us....but oh no these arguments became verbal and physical abusive... I pray everyday for God to better are relationship.....I am scared of him sometimes...but i love him so much.....knowledge is power and i am glad i can read an have an better understanding of this type of illness. It becomes unbareable at times and confuse me that someone that loves you can say and do so much mean and hurtful things to someone they love. I have become stronger as a women being honorable loyal and honest with my mate. Nothing i do is ever good enough for him. Why he cant be honest with himself....people need to be responsible for there own actions. It is not fault that he is an diabetic....he yreats the woman he claims he loves with so much anger and resentment......lets pray.
  • Mamapumkin
    Sep. 06, 2015
    I'm am dealing with the same thing. I can see that his sugar is spiking or dropping. He becomes very hostile irritated and just downright mean. I tried to get him to check his blood sugar. Eat something take his medicine and he just refuses. A situation can get out of control very quickly. I know that his sugar has become out of whack but I don't know how to...
    RHMLucky777
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    I'm am dealing with the same thing. I can see that his sugar is spiking or dropping. He becomes very hostile irritated and just downright mean. I tried to get him to check his blood sugar. Eat something take his medicine and he just refuses. A situation can get out of control very quickly. I know that his sugar has become out of whack but I don't know how to help him. When he won't even take the time to take care of himself. It has caused a lot of stress in our relationship. And I am less tolerant of it now. Because I feel like he's won't manage it. And at times is putting him, myself, and the kids in situations that could have been avoided if he would just listen to what I'm saying. I can't force him to take his blood sugar or his insulin. I can't force him to eat. But his lack of managing his diabetes is starting to greatly affect our family. I'm very aware that he is not thinking clear when he is having an episode. And it is so not like him to be so angry mean and hostile. I can only get outta his way. And wait for him to take care of himself. Or keep an eye on him and call EMS when its reach that point. I am afraid that he is going to kill himself help please
  • mberry
    Aug. 27, 2015
    Reading all of this still confuses me more. My boyfriend is type 1 and has been for more then half his life, we're still young and in our 20+. We have a 2 year old and another on the way so maybe its my pregnant hormones too, but lately he hasn't been taking care of him self and has been so nasty with my child and me! So very unpatient, I know its his high...
    RHMLucky777
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    Reading all of this still confuses me more. My boyfriend is type 1 and has been for more then half his life, we're still young and in our 20+. We have a 2 year old and another on the way so maybe its my pregnant hormones too, but lately he hasn't been taking care of him self and has been so nasty with my child and me! So very unpatient, I know its his high sugar causing it because I can see it in his eyes his not feeling well. But asking him to check it (which he NEVER does) is like me walking onto a battle field. I need him to get it together for my kids and me. Its like he wants to be mean and wants his sugar high. Any advice?! Its tearing me apart
    • t123
      Sep. 20, 2015
      My situation is exactly like yours! Don't know what to do!!
    • Sadtothebone
      Feb. 17, 2016
      You can't put up with this. Bring some others in on it.
  • Dia-Baller
    Aug. 21, 2015
    I'm a mid-20 yr old with type 1 diabetes, and I've had it for 20+ years. Yes, the disease causes irritability, mood swings, etc. at times, yet I'm conscious enough to know when it's my disease affecting my mood. I used to fear that no one would want to be in a relationship with me because of it... But I have been with a wonderful girl for 2+ years now. The...
    RHMLucky777
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    I'm a mid-20 yr old with type 1 diabetes, and I've had it for 20+ years. Yes, the disease causes irritability, mood swings, etc. at times, yet I'm conscious enough to know when it's my disease affecting my mood. I used to fear that no one would want to be in a relationship with me because of it... But I have been with a wonderful girl for 2+ years now. The thing is, I have caused/started fights with my lady due to a lack of control, and honestly I probably will again in the future - but I always appogize when I realize why I'm acting the way I am and take responsibility for it. I feel empathic for anyone dating a diabetic. What you need to realize though is that diabetes does not cause anger (unless they have little to no control of those blood levels). It is stressful, and a constant challenge, yet if your significant other is abusive or a constant ass towards you, it's because they're an ass in general. It's like I say, diabetes is not an excuse for poor behavior. Our choices/actions dictate our behavior, for better or worse. Do your best to help them keep their levels in check & make healthy decisions, and let them know it's out of love. If you or your children are being abused, I think there's bigger issues than diabetes going on (and you should leave them!). It doesn't have to be a miserable life, some just choose for it to be!
    • Sadtothebone
      Sep. 29, 2015
      It's very interesting that you are so self aware. I wonder if it's because you"ve had it for most of your life. Did your parents help you understand this and teach you how to handle it? So many of us here are dealing with people much older than you who seem to lack your insight and maturity. I am glad you understand yourself and are willing to apologize to...
      RHMLucky777
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      It's very interesting that you are so self aware. I wonder if it's because you"ve had it for most of your life. Did your parents help you understand this and teach you how to handle it? So many of us here are dealing with people much older than you who seem to lack your insight and maturity. I am glad you understand yourself and are willing to apologize to your girllfriend when you have lost a bit of control. Good for you and good luck to you. You addressed the question on all of our minds. Is it all the diabetes, or is some of it just the person? It's hard to know for sure.
    • norasmith
      Nov. 07, 2015
      Thank you for writing what you did! I've been dating a diabetic man for years, and it's starting to get really bad with us. I'm grateful I found this site, cause I'm at my wits end. As you well know, a person with wild sugar probably won't really listen to you, or be rational, and understand that you want them to get help for their sake, mostly. It's nice to...
      RHMLucky777
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      Thank you for writing what you did! I've been dating a diabetic man for years, and it's starting to get really bad with us. I'm grateful I found this site, cause I'm at my wits end. As you well know, a person with wild sugar probably won't really listen to you, or be rational, and understand that you want them to get help for their sake, mostly. It's nice to know that sufferers of diabetes CAN try and be aware of their mental state, and adjust it accordingly, for the benefit of themselves and also the ones who care about them. I understand having an issue that controls your mind in crappy ways; I've been diagnosed as depressed, and having hypothyroidism (under active thyroid disorder). I wish my boyfriend was as self aware and reflective as yourself, perhaps we could work on preventing these symptoms more, and getting him back to the man I fell in love with. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your experience. I think it's forums and things like that that can help diabetes suffererers, primary or secondary, find the help, advice, and understanding they so need, to lead a happy, fulfilling, and b.s.-free life.
  • Hope
    Aug. 14, 2015
    It is a miserable life. Married to a type1 for 26 yrs. I have been sworn at, called vile names, been pushed around, had things thrown at me, told To f--- off regularly. Our kids have grown up being yelled at, called names and now are at a point they think this is normal behaviour and have no self confidence. To anyone out there not married my advice is to leave...
    RHMLucky777
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    It is a miserable life. Married to a type1 for 26 yrs. I have been sworn at, called vile names, been pushed around, had things thrown at me, told To f--- off regularly. Our kids have grown up being yelled at, called names and now are at a point they think this is normal behaviour and have no self confidence. To anyone out there not married my advice is to leave while you still have your sanity. You will have no normal relationship with a diabetic partner. You end up questioning your sanity, being on edge all the time waiting for the next outburst to occur, get blamed for everything and I mean EVERYTHING... I do things by myself, hate him touching me, don't want sex anymore because there's no love in it. I'm paranoid about everything I say and do. This was not the life I imagined when I got married. There is no love, no companionship, no nothing. I have kids so financially I can't leave. I feel as if I have missed out on my life the one where I was meant to be happy and have a best friend, a soulmate, a partner you can tell anything to and not be judged or have it thrown back in your face. Someone that just has your back and adores you for being you. I tell my kids not to date anyone with health issues. i look for peace when I can I hope everyone on here gets some kind of harmony in their life.....eventually.
    • sandi
      Aug. 18, 2015
      I can relate to you problem so well. My husband has always been a cranky person but being diabetic for the last 20 years his moods are now intolerable. I should have left years ago but one thinks how do you leave a person because they are sick ? I know it is so hard to live with them and it takes a very strong person to tolerate this illness. My best advice...
      RHMLucky777
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      I can relate to you problem so well. My husband has always been a cranky person but being diabetic for the last 20 years his moods are now intolerable. I should have left years ago but one thinks how do you leave a person because they are sick ? I know it is so hard to live with them and it takes a very strong person to tolerate this illness. My best advice sadly is leave while you still can. I don't know how old you are but trust me your life will become a living hell.
    • ReBecca
      Sep. 27, 2015
      I felt like I was reading my own story while reading yours. Same exact problem with my husband and marriage. It's really hard to cope with him and I sense he is getting worse. I have M.S., so I'm insecure about leaving.......all of this to say, I feel so trapped.
    • Whitemustang888
      Oct. 09, 2015
      I'm at an awe in finding these posts. I really thought I was alone. Same situation, don't know what to do. I'm not in the best health myself and I'm 45 and been married 24 years. Everyday is a struggle and seems to get worse. I'm thinking divorce is the only way and have talked to a lawyer already. Anyone who does not understand a husband with diabetes, please...
      RHMLucky777
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      I'm at an awe in finding these posts. I really thought I was alone. Same situation, don't know what to do. I'm not in the best health myself and I'm 45 and been married 24 years. Everyday is a struggle and seems to get worse. I'm thinking divorce is the only way and have talked to a lawyer already. Anyone who does not understand a husband with diabetes, please don't comment or say you understand them because you have no idea. The mean rotten life they put out to their partner and family is just sickening. And you can't talk to them because your the bad person in this. We need help and we deserve better then to be treated like this. Just wish someone could help husbands understand how bad they are with the mood changes. Or is there help????. I'm tired of living on eggshells and feeling so alone.
    • Englishrose
      Dec. 07, 2015
      I can totally relate to everything you are saying, I'm in the same boat. Does your husband lie about things he's maybe done, small things like misplacing a key? I get the blame for everything that he can't find because "he's soo organized and I just an idiot"
  • chs31mt
    Jul. 27, 2015
    I've had type 2 for 5yrs now..I've noticed serious in me for the last year and blame it on old age..I'm beginning to wonder if it's the meds...glad I'm not only...went to my doctor and he says nothing is wrong...uugghh anyone knows more advise me of it please I get such bad mood swings that I become short of breath, shaky, and light headed
    • moteinsun
      Sep. 12, 2015
      Thankyou for seeking help, or desiring to get well. As with any disease, it will take a decided effort on your part to heal, this and prayer for strength, patience, from a creator who desires nothing more then you to be happy and healthy. I have said a prayer for you. God sent his son to us to give an example of how to live our lives, so yes, the answers really...
      RHMLucky777
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      Thankyou for seeking help, or desiring to get well. As with any disease, it will take a decided effort on your part to heal, this and prayer for strength, patience, from a creator who desires nothing more then you to be happy and healthy. I have said a prayer for you. God sent his son to us to give an example of how to live our lives, so yes, the answers really are in the bible, not just good adice, but practical. Jesus healed people of their sickness even before he spoke a word about who he was, he did not require the person to be a first class christen, pillar of the church, leader of all that was holy, no. Jesus healed sick people, then He pointed them to His father, and said explained to his listeners that it was the Gift of God that healed them, Jesus was revealing God to sinners.....to sick people. But he wanted them to know above anything elese that it was Gods desire, and his, for them to be made whole, and this is why he aleays said. "According to your faith, rise up and walk." :) Do you see? Jesus wants to heal you first, and then out of love ans gratitude, you will obey and follow. This is my testimony.
  • Ivy
    Ivy
    Jul. 16, 2015
    First of all, I would like to thank you for sharing your experience!!! I feel a sigh of relief seeing that I am not the only one going through this issue with someone. I fell in love with a type 2 diabetic a little over a year ago and I couldn't describe my miserable life with him as anything beyond a nightmare. He has terrible moodswings, erratic behavior...
    RHMLucky777
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    First of all, I would like to thank you for sharing your experience!!! I feel a sigh of relief seeing that I am not the only one going through this issue with someone. I fell in love with a type 2 diabetic a little over a year ago and I couldn't describe my miserable life with him as anything beyond a nightmare. He has terrible moodswings, erratic behavior at times, says things to demean and disrespect everyone in the house and worst of all, he complains and blows up at any given moment about anything. It can be something as simple as dishes in the sink to him not remembering something or being unable to locate something that is his that noone else would really know where it even is. I try to help him in every way. I have tried praying, going to church together, letting him know that I am here and even argued back to try and show him how it feels to be treated in such a manner. It is sad to say but I have given up. I can't take the daily put downs and severe anger any longer. I care about him but, he has made me love him less and less because he is relentless and ruthless in his treatment of me and others. I have never in my life ever been around someone so angry and mean. I simply can't take it anymore.
    • sandi
      Aug. 18, 2015
      I know exactly what you mean, and trust me it will only get worse. Sad to say but leave whilst you still have your sanity. I can not believe that the health care professionals have never recognized this problem. There are help groups for all kinds of issues but this one seems to have been ignored.
  • TurboZchik
    Jul. 16, 2015
    My boyfriend had a stroke 5 years ago. He had several risk factors smoker, high blood pressure, obese, but in 2009 he developed type II diabetes. He claimed no money for treatment, so the doctor put him on a diet. He did loose 30 pounds, but it was not enough. He had a stroke in April 2010. He called me from work and told me his arm was numb I told him he might...
    RHMLucky777
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    My boyfriend had a stroke 5 years ago. He had several risk factors smoker, high blood pressure, obese, but in 2009 he developed type II diabetes. He claimed no money for treatment, so the doctor put him on a diet. He did loose 30 pounds, but it was not enough. He had a stroke in April 2010. He called me from work and told me his arm was numb I told him he might want to be go to the hospital because he could be having a stroke. He didn't saying he could not afford to. Well because he waited, he is partially paralyzed. My boyfriend always had a temper, but he seemed to become violent six months or so before the stroke. I see him have blood sugar swings. All his doctor worries about is his A1C level, not real readings. I think he needs insulin, but he doesn't want to be on it. He blood sugar spikes after he eats and many times he gets violent. The most disappointing thing are the health care professionals who discount me. One time we went into the ER for his blood sugar being high at 268. The doctor told me that was not high, that they had patients come in with blood sugar 5 to 6 hundred or more. I said he already had a stroke. And I know what the guidelines for high blood sugar are as we took a class. I believe diabetic rage might be considered a syndrome, but not considered a real illness or side effect and it should be. I believe violence and moodiness are a huge part of diabetes. He is currently on Invokana because he is getting it free and I think it is not working. He also refused to buy test strips for a month, claiming no money to buy them. I have a science back/ health care ground and he refuses to believe anything I say because I am not a doctor. Been thinking of reporting his doctor to the state. He is also suppose to drive with a spinner nob due to the stroke and won't . And I have seen him get into road rage incidents.The doctor was mandated to report this to the state and did not. It is definitely the diabetes making him violent.And not only do the doctor's enable him, so do his parents and friends. I get blamed because I have depression and anxiety. I was even told by his mother I caused his stroke because of my carrying on from my illness.He is also paranoid about money, but that is the anxiety I have been trying to get the doctors to treat. That is why he goes on eating binges to deal with the anxiety he once dealt with by smoking. And that causes the blood sugar swings. One day all he does in eat, binge eat the next he starves himself. I blame his mother for not teaching him how to take care of himself and telling him his whole life, that he could do whatever he wants. She never went to the doctor to save money so he learned that from her. Our 20 year relationship is pretty much over from this.
    • Sadtothebone
      Sep. 30, 2015
      I feel your pain and my heart aches for you. If doctors would wake up and acknowledge this, we could get help from family members like others dealing with mental illness in a loved one.
  • harmony
    Jul. 11, 2015
    I had a girlfriend with type 1 diabetes. I could not influence her to eat better, at least not to eat refined wheat (white flour) products, because from early on her attityde was that I didn't know anything about food. It was a roller coaster from the beginning to the end regarding her mental and physical state. I could handle her bouts of tiredness and sadness...
    RHMLucky777
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    I had a girlfriend with type 1 diabetes. I could not influence her to eat better, at least not to eat refined wheat (white flour) products, because from early on her attityde was that I didn't know anything about food. It was a roller coaster from the beginning to the end regarding her mental and physical state. I could handle her bouts of tiredness and sadness but unfortunately not her severe attacks of anger. Except for a couple of times when she apologied, everything was alwas my fault. Never ever in my life have I been accused, threatened and insulted as much as during that relationship. I did my absolute best to be romantic and help her practically as well with many things, but I felt it was never enough.
    • ReBecca
      Sep. 27, 2015
      I sincerely hope you are no longer in this relationship. Your life will be a living hell if you stay.
  • jan.mikemelnyk
    Jul. 07, 2015
    M husband, who is a Type 2 Diabetic, just told me to f-o because I asked a question about how roads were made. I was just chatting, trying to make conversation. He blows up every few weeks--one time he threw a tub of cheese at me because I forgot to put it away. We have followed the program, lost weight, eat healthy meals, exercise, but still he continues to...
    RHMLucky777
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    M husband, who is a Type 2 Diabetic, just told me to f-o because I asked a question about how roads were made. I was just chatting, trying to make conversation. He blows up every few weeks--one time he threw a tub of cheese at me because I forgot to put it away. We have followed the program, lost weight, eat healthy meals, exercise, but still he continues to lose it, and it is all my fault, he says. He takes metaforin. Does this make him angry? He says I drive him crazy on purpose. He will never apologize--I will steer clear of him, then all of a sudden he will act like nothing has happened. But for now, the dog and I are hiding in the basement. He only gets mad at me--to everyone else he is Mr. Nice Guy! Going crazy but there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I told the doctor about his rage attacks--she prescribed an antidepressant but he never took it. My life is a living hell.
    • Ivy
      Ivy
      Jul. 16, 2015
      Your experiences are IDENTICAL to mine and my boyfriend takes Metformin as well. He is very mean, rude, and says the nastiest things and then he will all of a sudden transform and it is as if it never happened...until the next episode... He drinks and smokes cigarettes, doesn't monitor his condition well and instead of eating properly, he binges on candy and...
      RHMLucky777
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      Your experiences are IDENTICAL to mine and my boyfriend takes Metformin as well. He is very mean, rude, and says the nastiest things and then he will all of a sudden transform and it is as if it never happened...until the next episode... He drinks and smokes cigarettes, doesn't monitor his condition well and instead of eating properly, he binges on candy and sugary snacks when he thinks he needs them. I have not seen him check his sugar levels in months and I can't ask him because he will either lie or get angry I asked in the first place. I am now wondering if it's the medicine too....
    • jan.mikemelnyk
      Jul. 16, 2015
      Hi Ivy. I am thinking now it is probably the lack of monitoring rather than the Metaformin. I hope I spelled it right that time. I remember at the info session, we were told my husband would have to check his blood 4 times a day. It started out fine until he met this other diabetic man who told him he just checks his glucose once in the morning and then is...
      RHMLucky777
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      Hi Ivy. I am thinking now it is probably the lack of monitoring rather than the Metaformin. I hope I spelled it right that time. I remember at the info session, we were told my husband would have to check his blood 4 times a day. It started out fine until he met this other diabetic man who told him he just checks his glucose once in the morning and then is good to go the whole day. I told Mike--"Remember what they said about liver dumping through the night, that the blood is not good to go the whole day." He didn't listen and stopped checking. (Funny thing about those sessions-they said a diabetic could be moody. They never said anything about full-on rage. I almost had to call the police once, he was so out of control.) Anyhow, here is my situation. I cannot leave--we are both retired--he works part-time--but our mortgage is only half paid off. If we split, we both walk away with nothing, and then must live in poverty. So I have read him the riot act. I told him that he must check his blood 4 times a day, and I am policing it because he wouldn't do it without a prod. Before a meal, I say, "Go check your blood." Two hours after, I say, "Go check your blood." So far, he is complying. The other thing I am dealing with is his cheating on healthy eating--I found a giant bag of jujubes at the bottom of his lunch bag. Oh my. I usually make his lunch, so I will remove these items accordingly. The third coping behaviour for me is this. I have taxi fare in my wallet, and have found a nearby hotel that is reasonable--I even told him, "The next time you start being abusive to me, I am outta here. I am going to a hotel and will be back in three days." His rants usually last 3 days. I have enough in my savings that I can do this a few times anyhow. This has been going on too long--five years--I might as well enjoy swimming and room service--instead of hiding in the basement. I am lucky the kids have grown and are launched. I hope my ideas help someone--I hope they help my situation. So far the blood monitoring policing is helping. But I still walk on eggshells! I hope we all learn to cope with this insanity.
  • Fedup35
    Jun. 17, 2015
    Hmm, I think I'm basically parroting what everyone has said here, but I just feel the need to vent...My husband (of 10 years) is soo, nice and helpful, caring, blah blah blah....except when he's a total AS#Ho##. He is diabetic, I'm not sure which type, because he won't tell me anything about his condition...He "manages" it with some medicine. I've tried to...
    RHMLucky777
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    Hmm, I think I'm basically parroting what everyone has said here, but I just feel the need to vent...My husband (of 10 years) is soo, nice and helpful, caring, blah blah blah....except when he's a total AS#Ho##. He is diabetic, I'm not sure which type, because he won't tell me anything about his condition...He "manages" it with some medicine. I've tried to cook /buy healthy for him, but he only eats what he wants. The fridge is full of healthy stuff, but he buys and eats crap. He sneaks ice cream, candy, cookies, all the time, etc....When I say anything about it, he goes IRATE. He treats the sugar as medicine. Instead of eating something healthy that will stay with him (like whole grains) so his sugar doesn't bottom out, he'll drink a coke, eat some chocolate, whatever. I try to tell him that that causes a spike, but you can't tell him anything, he knows every thing.. He even gets support from his mother..she'll say, "well he needs that sugar." I'm sure he never learned any healthy eating habits as a child..ughhh OMG. He's mr lovey dovey all the time, (to the point of being super controlling) until he goes bananas about nothing, and yells at me, calls me horrible names, is combative, etc. Then a day, maybe three, he'll come crawling back.. I think his problem is his sugar, b/c otherwise he adores me... I am contemplating divorce. I don't like to be yelled at, called names, I AM SO sick of it. He drank a couple beers at supper, and I know that's what triggered the last episode anyway. Of course, he blamed everything on me as he ALWAYS does. I did it. It's my fault, He's crazy. Maybe the sugar causes it, but the end result is none the less the same. He's pissy ALL the time (but of course when I call him on it, he says that I am the one who is the problem..)I am at the point that if I want to have children, I must do it ASAP. yet, I'm afraid to have them with him. It is so easy for me to tell others here to leave, but it is easier said than done no?
    • one step ahead
      Jun. 29, 2015
      Oh my, I can understand you totally. My mother in law has put herself upon us for two months from the USA to here in Britain and she has insulin diabetes. I nearly divorced my husband over the arguements caused by her and about her. We never argued in front of her. I thought she was BI POLAR !!! My husband said I was insulting her (and I should be ashamed)...
      RHMLucky777
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      Oh my, I can understand you totally. My mother in law has put herself upon us for two months from the USA to here in Britain and she has insulin diabetes. I nearly divorced my husband over the arguements caused by her and about her. We never argued in front of her. I thought she was BI POLAR !!! My husband said I was insulting her (and I should be ashamed) but I had no idea how diabetes affects a person aged 63. I thought it was her mucked up personality! She has been a nightmare to live with. She has even refused to speak to her 15 year old granddaughter whom she has met for the second time in her life, the first being when she was age 6. Our daughter was being emotionally abused by this selfish action. Grandmother didn't even know why she didn't like our daughter! She said she had too much freedom and had attitude. Grandmothers attitude is WORSE. Grandmother is high and happy one minute and the next she has been all feeling sorry for herself and wanting attention or going off to her room and shutting the door. The atmosphere can be cut with a knife. Thank goodness my kids understand what 'she is mad and crazy' means. Thank goodness I have been able to make sense of her otherwise I would have gone mad like grandmother made the girlfriend before me go. Grandmother has been nasty, horrible, inconsistent, sly, nosey, cleaning out my cupboards, not washing up after herself, not cleaning her bathroom, lazy, sleeping on my sofa, ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT, she had to be told to go to bed, the list goes on. I can't wait until Thursday when she goes home. I won't have her back. My husband and I have become even closer now and staying out of the house most evenings away from her has given us time to talk and analyise her. I have had to be careful what I have said but he has mostly backed me up 100% and had a go at her when it got too much for us all. (Grandmother ignoring our daughter, her granddaughter, and he told her to go to bed and stop sleeping on the sofa in the room under our bedroom. Is this what belligerent means? I have kept a diary of the last two months and I want to turn it into a book! What do u reckon? Reading your posts has been my saviour. Thankyou for sharing and now I understand her even better. I still think she has Bi Polar though 😊
    • one step ahead
      Jun. 29, 2015
      I forgot to say that she too eats a lot of crap. Crisps, chocolate, cakes, fizzy drinks, fried bacon every morning, fried banana fritters, fried dumplings , and my jar of sugar goes down to empty very quickly! I have every sympathy with you
    • Eskimoo
      Jul. 05, 2015
      Hi I am so glad I came across your comment. My husband was diagnosed quite late he has had it for 4 yrs now he is 39. I have been patient with his mood swings however I am growing tired of them. He just snaps for no reason yelling at the kids and I'm so scared that he will hurt them one day unintentially of course but these mood swings are impacting my world....
      RHMLucky777
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      Hi I am so glad I came across your comment. My husband was diagnosed quite late he has had it for 4 yrs now he is 39. I have been patient with his mood swings however I am growing tired of them. He just snaps for no reason yelling at the kids and I'm so scared that he will hurt them one day unintentially of course but these mood swings are impacting my world. He wonders why I have no interest in having sex with me because when he does snap he calls me the most horrible of names. I have been trying to find Other people to relate too so I can find the strength to say no more. However when I did do this once before he took an overdose of insulin, what can we do as partners? Do you co tinge to support them or do you just call it a day?
    • Ivy
      Ivy
      Jul. 16, 2015
      Dont worry....you are NOT alone. I go through exactly what you are!!! My boyfriend is a type 2 diabetic and he is out of control. He lies to everyone, even his doctor. At home he drinks alcohol, eats anything he wants, and binges on candy when he "feels" like he needs it. He doesn't monitor his condition with is monitor or at least he doesn't do it around me....
      RHMLucky777
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      Dont worry....you are NOT alone. I go through exactly what you are!!! My boyfriend is a type 2 diabetic and he is out of control. He lies to everyone, even his doctor. At home he drinks alcohol, eats anything he wants, and binges on candy when he "feels" like he needs it. He doesn't monitor his condition with is monitor or at least he doesn't do it around me. He takes Metformin and I don't know if that helps to ignite his rage episodes or what! I am confused and considering leaving.
    • Ivy
      Ivy
      Jul. 16, 2015
      If you are considering having children with your husband, it is important to be aware of the medication he is taking for his diabetes. Some of them damage sperm and he may not be able to have them. That is the situation with my boyfriend. He is on Metformin and has been taking it for three/ four years now, and the damage is done. I don't think he and I will...
      RHMLucky777
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      If you are considering having children with your husband, it is important to be aware of the medication he is taking for his diabetes. Some of them damage sperm and he may not be able to have them. That is the situation with my boyfriend. He is on Metformin and has been taking it for three/ four years now, and the damage is done. I don't think he and I will ever be able to have any children together and I'm at the point where I am not sure I want to continue to be in this relationship with him due to his lack of care for himself and others. It is very hard to be mistreated every day when you try very hard to be there for that person in every way. The slamming of doors and sounds of things being thrown gets very nerve wrecking and over time it makes you jumpy. Especially when you know it will only get worse if you say anything.
    • Prisoner
      Jul. 28, 2015
      I'm sorry to read of your distress, I am in the same situation. Husband of 15 years, and two fabulous kids, but no quality of life in our family due to husband's on-going health issues. His type 2 diabetes causes his immunity to be compromised so he is often sick, probably attending work only about 35% of the time! Anger, shouting, blame-shifting, accusing...
      RHMLucky777
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      I'm sorry to read of your distress, I am in the same situation. Husband of 15 years, and two fabulous kids, but no quality of life in our family due to husband's on-going health issues. His type 2 diabetes causes his immunity to be compromised so he is often sick, probably attending work only about 35% of the time! Anger, shouting, blame-shifting, accusing us of taking his keys, wallet, torch, (as if we would do that) and demanding that we run around the house finding them - all normal in our home. I just wanted to say that if you are thinking of having kids with him, do a 180 degree turn and get out of the relationship. I know it's a tough call, but do it for yourself and your future kids. I am so sorry for my kids having to grow up in a home with such aggression and acrimony. I have apologized to them for the way my husband is, and advised them to make sure they don't end up with a similar person with health issues. Like many others on here, we put up with constant mood-swings and high/low almost bi-polar personality. When he is in a good mood he is sickly sweet to my children and will do and give them anything they want, and cuddle them and be as sweet as pie. But on the other side of the coin he is a rampant demon. He is also very unsociable and has become a recluse, even keeping his own brother at arms-length and becoming abusive. I truly regret ever marrying this man and having children to him. I am also living in a private hell. Be warned. Get out of the relationship with him.
  • sickandtired
    Jun. 13, 2015
    My husband is a type 1 diabetic and his mood swings are out of control. He hardly ever checks his blood sugars. I am so sick of the free pass expectation he has because he is a "diabetic." His mood swings have gone from just cranky, to now being hateful and mean! He's been diabetic for 34 years now.
    • Fedup35
      Jun. 17, 2015
      Mine won't even admit that the sugar issue is what causes his mood swings, he just blames EVERYTHING on me. Even when he goes nuts screaming and cussing, the next day or so he is better, but he never takes responsibility for any of it. whatever it was, I MADE him do it.
    • t123
      Sep. 20, 2015
      I am in the same situation! My bf of 9 yrs has type 2, & is out of control! Screaming, cussing and yelling so loudly he loses his voice. Blaming me for his actions, and I only see him 2 days a weak due to work schedules. I'm terrified, but scared for him to leave as he is a help to me with my 2 daughters, otherwise I have no one at all to help me with them....
      RHMLucky777
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      I am in the same situation! My bf of 9 yrs has type 2, & is out of control! Screaming, cussing and yelling so loudly he loses his voice. Blaming me for his actions, and I only see him 2 days a weak due to work schedules. I'm terrified, but scared for him to leave as he is a help to me with my 2 daughters, otherwise I have no one at all to help me with them. I don't know what to do!
  • danahboo32
    Jun. 12, 2015
    I am a T1 diabetic female diagnosed @ 42, I am now 46. By nature pretty calm, compassionate and don't like to make waves. I have been experiencing the weirdest thoughts and moods that make no sense. Some moments, for NO reason at all, I become irritated and once the brow if furrowed it's almost like its stuck! Logically I know there is no reasonable explanation...
    RHMLucky777
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    I am a T1 diabetic female diagnosed @ 42, I am now 46. By nature pretty calm, compassionate and don't like to make waves. I have been experiencing the weirdest thoughts and moods that make no sense. Some moments, for NO reason at all, I become irritated and once the brow if furrowed it's almost like its stuck! Logically I know there is no reasonable explanation for my anger / irritation but it won't go away. This makes me very afraid and sad. I do not have blow ups at others just the worst case of Oscar the Grouch you can imagine! There is not enough information out there for me to determine the effects of my highs and lows on the brain but I can tell you all it can't be good! It's as if the ability to chill out and relax is just out of my grasp and I keep reaching for it. My logical brain knows better but there is an odd disconnect that is next to impossible to correct. I did read that too many lows can affect the brain the same way a stroke does… parts of the brain begin to die. Alzheimers may be another form of diabetes…. Keep in mind when dealing with a loved ones high too much sugar in the blood. The blood is THICK like the bottom of a sugary cereal bowl…..molasses doesn't and can't carry much by way of good nutrients and oxygen to the brain does it? I am angry brain … confused brain….cloudy brain…throbbing brain….cant make rational sense of my emotions brain. :( During a low the blood is too thin, not enough sugar in the blood. Now I am nervous brain…filled with anxiety brain…racing heart ….the body / brain cannot function because it thinks it's dying so all the normal brain and body functions are freaking out. None of our normal synapses are firing properly…all of the bodies circuits are confused. And so are we diabetics. The residuals of these things take awhile for our bodies to correct. we hate it… We just want to be consistently level and have a sound mind. When your diabetic loved one isn't behaving like their 'normal' self. Let them be alone, remind them it's okay to take walk, the blood circulating will allow some oxygen to get to the brain. We are sorry this is happening…and we just want it to go away.
  • chdawi
    Apr. 07, 2015
    I have lived with my boyfriend for 11 1/2 years, as he gets older the more negative his attitude so much so that all three of my kids cannot stand him anymore, my kids are older 24, 18, and 14. My boyfriend has nothing nice to say to me or my kids, he rants constantly, when ever he is in one of his moods he tells me to move out, it's always his way or no way....
    RHMLucky777
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    I have lived with my boyfriend for 11 1/2 years, as he gets older the more negative his attitude so much so that all three of my kids cannot stand him anymore, my kids are older 24, 18, and 14. My boyfriend has nothing nice to say to me or my kids, he rants constantly, when ever he is in one of his moods he tells me to move out, it's always his way or no way. Grant you he does have his good side also, but the mood swings are getting more and more hard to handle. I am an positive person I try to have fun with life, but it seems no matter what any of us do he will find the bad in it, or put us down for it. When I was finishing my last year in college he kept saying you won't find a job you will be waitressing the restbof your life, well I graduated and found a good job yet he makes remarks about it not paying me well, and I should go work in a factory. He says we are all just using him, yet I never ask him for money I pay part of the bills and buy all the groceries, its so tiring to hear nothing but rude, mean words out of his mouth. I want to move out, but then find myself sticking up for him blaming his diabetes, what's wrong with me for thinking like this. He is just so negative about everything. He will get so upset over something that's so simple or could be fixed in a minute such as laundrybin the dryer or that my daughter wants to stay in her room, probably because she is tired of hearing him complain, and gripe about unimportant things. I need advice, I feel I have drifted or pushed myself away from him because of his attitude which then he has noticed so it makes it ten times worse. Please any advice will be helpful.
    • Eskimoo
      Jul. 05, 2015
      Hi there , You have echoed my situation married for 10years he was diagnosed 4 years ago, his patience has whittled away over the years we have two children and I watch him loose it at the children for no reason and I am scared he will hurt himself,if I leave but I'm feel hopeless as no one else knows what it is like to live with with a diabetic. If I speak...
      RHMLucky777
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      Hi there , You have echoed my situation married for 10years he was diagnosed 4 years ago, his patience has whittled away over the years we have two children and I watch him loose it at the children for no reason and I am scared he will hurt himself,if I leave but I'm feel hopeless as no one else knows what it is like to live with with a diabetic. If I speak to friends they will think he is being an a hole but I know he is a good man but this is becoming unbearable. Happy to keep in the loop with you.
    • Ivy
      Ivy
      Jul. 16, 2015
      EVERYTHING you wrote down to having children that are tired as well, is my story too...It is very hard...seems like there is no end or relief in sight!
  • Jacquelinebaba
    Mar. 28, 2015
    OMG! I thought I was alone on this one. My husband was diagnosed 15 yrs ago type II. The last 2 years his anger outbursts have become greater and longer lasting than the last. Today a prime example, a nice morning at home he had decided to do some work on his computer then BOOM! Due to what ever had gone wrong he was screaming, ranting to the point of frothing...
    RHMLucky777
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    OMG! I thought I was alone on this one. My husband was diagnosed 15 yrs ago type II. The last 2 years his anger outbursts have become greater and longer lasting than the last. Today a prime example, a nice morning at home he had decided to do some work on his computer then BOOM! Due to what ever had gone wrong he was screaming, ranting to the point of frothing at the mouth. Absolutely blood red with his veins looking at the point of bursting. I am teffified that he will just keel over one of these days. I have learnt to just stay quite and not even try to be calming as this just does not work. He is now fast asleep, totally drained from this episode and upon waking will be his normal self. I really do not know what to do. We have been to the doctors but they were no help whatsoever.
    • ReBecca
      Jun. 12, 2015
      Thanks so much for sharing......I just had this happen with my husband this evening. His anger was scary.
    • interiorgraceltd
      Jun. 19, 2015
      I have a son whom has type 1 since 12. He is now 28. Just last eve, He had a 5 hr rant and I understand "frothing at the mouth". When The outright "rage attacks occur", the behavior is cruel, insane and To the point of dangerous. There is no possible way of de-escalating The rage. Never an apology, and never a helping hand to "clean up The mess". We live in...
      RHMLucky777
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      I have a son whom has type 1 since 12. He is now 28. Just last eve, He had a 5 hr rant and I understand "frothing at the mouth". When The outright "rage attacks occur", the behavior is cruel, insane and To the point of dangerous. There is no possible way of de-escalating The rage. Never an apology, and never a helping hand to "clean up The mess". We live in a day and age where I hope "the silent part of Diabetes which people do not talk about" becomes a serious debate!! Why? What percentage? How Often? How many lives torn apart by The lack of bringing this "side effect" ...of this disease ....to a public awAreness and serious Forum "we ALL talk about" ? Ther are mothers, fathers, sisters And brothers Lives and emotions torn Apart from this anger! IS THERE SUCH A Thing as a "happy diabetic individual" or family??
  • safi1018
    Mar. 24, 2015
    On a constant rollercoaster. Although I'm NOT a doctor, I suspected my girlfriend had diabetes before she even went to confirm at a doctor. I do not know what to say or do or even behave around her. For fear of repercussions and being lashed at. I just celebrated a birthday where I'm thankful to be alive and I've been screamed at, lash out at and just put down....
    RHMLucky777
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    On a constant rollercoaster. Although I'm NOT a doctor, I suspected my girlfriend had diabetes before she even went to confirm at a doctor. I do not know what to say or do or even behave around her. For fear of repercussions and being lashed at. I just celebrated a birthday where I'm thankful to be alive and I've been screamed at, lash out at and just put down. Her sugar level are erratic to say the least. Now she stopped speaking to me because of just no valid reason in my book Hurt cobfused, and bewildered. You try to be there for them and become a punching bag. Tired of it.
  • Cbb35
    Mar. 18, 2015
    Mine also has the mood swings and extreme Highs and lows. If your state allows medicinal marajuana, I would suggest that. It is natural with no side effects and works as a pain reliever and mood enhancer, without any nasty side effects. My husband has had diabetes for 13 years....sudden onset at 26 and he is insulin dependent. The mood swings can be tough to...
    RHMLucky777
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    Mine also has the mood swings and extreme Highs and lows. If your state allows medicinal marajuana, I would suggest that. It is natural with no side effects and works as a pain reliever and mood enhancer, without any nasty side effects. My husband has had diabetes for 13 years....sudden onset at 26 and he is insulin dependent. The mood swings can be tough to handle and I agree that there should be more support out there for spouses.
    • Dia-Baller
      Aug. 21, 2015
      Medical marijuana is my go to as a diabetic.. Next to insulin that is ;).
  • FBG
    FBG
    Mar. 17, 2015
    Why doesn't the American Diabetes Assn provide more information on this? I left my husband of 14 years who is a Type 1 diabetic because I was just sick of his mood swings and verbally abusive behavior. Now he is about to ruin his relationship with our kids for the same reason. He has extreme highs and lows and doesn't remember his rages or what he does. It...
    RHMLucky777
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    Why doesn't the American Diabetes Assn provide more information on this? I left my husband of 14 years who is a Type 1 diabetic because I was just sick of his mood swings and verbally abusive behavior. Now he is about to ruin his relationship with our kids for the same reason. He has extreme highs and lows and doesn't remember his rages or what he does. It is like living with an alcoholic.
  • nekaybaw40
    Mar. 17, 2015
    I know exactly what you are talking about I'm experience the same thing with my mate for 7 years now I'm very worried.
  • fedupwife
    Mar. 14, 2015
    My husband is a 30 year diabetic and his escalating mood swings are getting very difficult to handle. It's recently gotten physical when I try to help with his low sugars and this new aspect is taking its toll on our relationship. He doesn't remember how awful his reaction was and I've tried to be patient but bruises are showing up. When he asks about the bruises...
    RHMLucky777
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    My husband is a 30 year diabetic and his escalating mood swings are getting very difficult to handle. It's recently gotten physical when I try to help with his low sugars and this new aspect is taking its toll on our relationship. He doesn't remember how awful his reaction was and I've tried to be patient but bruises are showing up. When he asks about the bruises or why am I distant from him, I tell him what happened and he almost dismisses it as part of his disease. Sometimes he accuses me of making it all up. How can a relationship not be damaged when the person you love treats you this way. I know he can not truly remember what happened, but his attitude afterwards is so hurtful. When you marry and promise to love, honor, and cherish through sickness and health, diabetes makes that promise very hard to maintain. How do I tell my children how bad it has gotten and that I am seriously considering walking away from this marriage? How do I explain to our 2 precious grandchildren who may spend the night and see their Papa acting out this way? He says no one understands what he going through, but honestly, I do because this terrible disease is destroying both of us.
    • wiltingwife
      Jan. 08, 2016
      I hope things are going better for you. My husband has had type 2 diabetes for 32 years. We have been married for 55 years. I did not realize how things had progressed until our children came to me last year and told me that I had battered wife syndrome. "Mother, you have been trying to help Dad for years now, thinking that if you did better, he would be happy."...
      RHMLucky777
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      I hope things are going better for you. My husband has had type 2 diabetes for 32 years. We have been married for 55 years. I did not realize how things had progressed until our children came to me last year and told me that I had battered wife syndrome. "Mother, you have been trying to help Dad for years now, thinking that if you did better, he would be happy." They were right, and I had to take a hard look at things. Then, he had a stroke, then pneumonia, and was so weak he had to be in an orthopedic rehab facility. When it was time to release him, the children said, "You are not taking him home. It will kill you!" It is breaking my heart and my pocketbook to have him in the Assisted Living facility where he is. It is beautiful, warm, and really a lovely place. He, however, has not been at all happy. His aggressive personality has really blossomed, due to his anger. He has threatened divorce. That was never, ever a topic between us until now. I simply told him that he can go that direction if he likes, but I am not cooperating with him. He has threatened to disinherit his children. Fortunately, legally he cannot do that. His verbal and emotional abuse of his family have reached the point that he is not competent. That does not make life any easier, but simply gives me some peace. He has been at the facility since March. They take good care of him. I spend so much time with him, that most residents here think I live there. He has had a diabetic ulcer on his heel for a year. I really physically cannot take care of him at home. I take him for rides, and grit my teeth as he criticizes my driving and my route choices. I ask him what he would like to eat while we are out. He refuses to make any decision of any kind, so I choose and order for him, and THEN he picks apart my choice of restaurant and what I ordered for him. He is angry at everyone, jealous, mean-spirited, negative. In everything, his glass is half-empty. But he is still charming when non-family come to visit him, and then he tells them that I have put him in this facility, and he calls it the "asylum". This is the man who swept me off my feet in my youth, provided beautifully for me and for his children, was generous to a fault with all, loved people, held me close when I was in deep depression or having a panic attack, and I cannot...I cannot desert him at this point. So, we live apart, but are together for some time every day. He is hurt deeply, still, that we put him in the facility. My life is lonely in some ways, and yet those children at whom he is so angry are keeping me sane. Is it easy? NO! Are you a woman of faith? Prayer has helped me so many times, I could not count them. I have to give him all the patience I have. He has been loyal to me. We have to talk every three or four weeks when the roller coaster ride reappears. I have lost forty pounds, have many more wrinkles in my face, but I have been so lifted by finding this blog. I know now that what the doctors are so vague and noncommittal about is a real thing. I thought that except for my children, I was all alone in the world. He was hospitalized three times in Oct-Nov. First when his Potassium level was at an 8, then when he fell taking himself to the bathroom - which is a no-no where he lives - and finally with septic pneumonia... He must have an extremely strong core. He has cheated death all three times. My inner conflicts are great, but I have a good support system, and I call family or friends and unload, and then I can press forward once more. This is hard. It is really hard. People judge our family for doing what we have done. Thank you for sharing your feelings. I have had them all. I simply choose to stand with him and for him as he faces this miserable end to a wonderful life. He would do at least that for me, and probably more!
    • lou
      lou
      Apr. 13, 2016
      hi! i think you've noticed something very important that not many people do, which is that the diabetic person very often just cannot remember what has happened while having a rage fit. i am the raging diabetic in my case, and was going through this creepy experience many times being told that i was violent and abusive to my x loving partner & my x good...
      RHMLucky777
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      hi! i think you've noticed something very important that not many people do, which is that the diabetic person very often just cannot remember what has happened while having a rage fit. i am the raging diabetic in my case, and was going through this creepy experience many times being told that i was violent and abusive to my x loving partner & my x good friends, while all i could remember was having a nice quite night, drinking one beer & playing a few tunes. my first reaction was naturally disbelief.. don't take it personally since now that i have left w/out one person to shout at, i am still having the exact same fits, at the same hours, and remember them only vaguely..
  • tylers426
    Feb. 26, 2015
    I'm type 1 with excellent A1C.My Endocrinologist told me 2 weeks ago that my blood work is excellent.I had him check my Estrogen levels as well because I thought my mood swings were because I was perimenopausal.That proved to be wrong.Some days I don't even want to get out of bed.I wake up and take kids to school and come home and lay in bed and watch TV until...
    RHMLucky777
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    I'm type 1 with excellent A1C.My Endocrinologist told me 2 weeks ago that my blood work is excellent.I had him check my Estrogen levels as well because I thought my mood swings were because I was perimenopausal.That proved to be wrong.Some days I don't even want to get out of bed.I wake up and take kids to school and come home and lay in bed and watch TV until I have to pick my kids up.I've become an introvert.Sometimes I cancel appointments because I don't want to have to be around people.I have these explosive mood swings a few times a week.I don't lie around and cry and have a supportive husband who loves me and he is never the recipient of my outbursts.My son has the pleasure of causing them with other members of our family but he really sets me off with his behavior.I try my best to just stay away from him if I'm agitated anyway.My Endocrinologist put me on Lexapro 8 months ago and I can't tell it does anything.I'm learning to manage my outbursts by removing myself from the person that agitated me but I don't like being an introvert and want my energy back.Does anyone know of another medication that might be better effective for me?
    • doormat5
      Mar. 06, 2015
      Ah, yes the menopause years. There are so many symptoms and changes and only a good understanding Doc will admit that there is more to "the change" than hot flashes. I cannot imagine combining that difficult time with the challenges of diabetes. Get another opinion, stay the course and advocate for yourself like crazy. Also, even a slightly low thyroid can...
      RHMLucky777
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      Ah, yes the menopause years. There are so many symptoms and changes and only a good understanding Doc will admit that there is more to "the change" than hot flashes. I cannot imagine combining that difficult time with the challenges of diabetes. Get another opinion, stay the course and advocate for yourself like crazy. Also, even a slightly low thyroid can create havoc with your feelings and moods and energy. It's so easy for a Doc to say, "your blood work is fine" - especially when a number or two one way or the other makes all the difference in the world in how you feel.
    • Sadtothebone
      Jan. 21, 2016
      Zoloft works best for my husband. A1C is not the whole deal. Real time sugar levels are what matter for mood regulation.
  • Morgan121
    Feb. 09, 2015
    You're not alone. My husband was diagnosed with type one diabetes about 4 years ago he is now 38. Since his official diagnosis, he has controlled his blood sugar levels however the mood sings have become unbearable. I also have a young family and on some days I'm so scared to tell him thing in fear of feeling the Roth of his anger. My children suffer especially...
    RHMLucky777
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    You're not alone. My husband was diagnosed with type one diabetes about 4 years ago he is now 38. Since his official diagnosis, he has controlled his blood sugar levels however the mood sings have become unbearable. I also have a young family and on some days I'm so scared to tell him thing in fear of feeling the Roth of his anger. My children suffer especially the toddle of which he will say I can handle him. I do fear for my kids in that he will crack it and hurt them. We also have the other extreme that he is depressed and to be honest I'm not sure how more I can take. I stumbled across this forum to my delight sadly. It is good to know I'm not the only one. But does anyone have any strategies to help combat this behaviour. I'm feel like I'm loosing this battle and I dream of how it would be without him.
    • Lost007
      Feb. 09, 2015
      And you are not alone either Morgan121:-) I understand exactly what you are going through. It was to my delight also sadly, that I also stumbled across this forum. Reading through the comments forum members have made, proves that when a person is diagnosed with diabetes, it's not just the person who has the disease that suffers, but also the ones closest to...
      RHMLucky777
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      And you are not alone either Morgan121:-) I understand exactly what you are going through. It was to my delight also sadly, that I also stumbled across this forum. Reading through the comments forum members have made, proves that when a person is diagnosed with diabetes, it's not just the person who has the disease that suffers, but also the ones closest to them. My husband and I have been having some very frank conversations about his behaviour and the hazards that threatened our marriage. He had no idea just how much it had effected me and I was able to get a bit more understanding of what he was also going through. It's amazing how when you throw your toys out of the cot in a fit of absolute rage and then take about 50 deep breaths and one by one pick them up carefully and place them back in the cot, just how much tidier the cot becomes. It has been also interesting to see how much closer we have become again by just taking matters into our own hands. We both feel deeply empathetic of each others plight and I feel really hopeful for the first time in a long while, that we can save this rocking boat. The thing I find the most frustrating about our health system in my country is that there is no support for the family members/partners of diabetes sufferers and these post show there definitely should be a safe net set up to protect the immediate family members from falling apart.
  • Lost007
    Feb. 02, 2015
    My husband was officially diagnosed with type 1 diabetes 12 years ago. He's a great guy for most of the time and I love him for so many reasons, but his mood swings are continually reaping havoc on our marriage. He is very temperamental, extremely short of patience and often blames me for things that go wrong. He is not acceptant of his diabetes (who would...
    RHMLucky777
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    My husband was officially diagnosed with type 1 diabetes 12 years ago. He's a great guy for most of the time and I love him for so many reasons, but his mood swings are continually reaping havoc on our marriage. He is very temperamental, extremely short of patience and often blames me for things that go wrong. He is not acceptant of his diabetes (who would be!) and my sense of self worth is slowly sliding downwards to zero & Im starting to feel our 'happily ever after' might be about to fail. I have always believed everything will be alright if we can just get on top of his diabetes, but I am starting to fear that this may never happen. We have been married a long time, have faith in our life and we have wonderful children and grandchildren who we both love dearly. They are the glue that's holding us together. I was born with an empathetic & nurturing soul, sorry God, but what a curse!
    • Morgan121
      Feb. 09, 2015
      Hi Just know you're not the only one. It's quite difficult to support and love a person when all you seem to see is the worst. My situation isn't much different. Please feel free to contact me if you need to scream or cry or just life what's on your chest.
  • studioali
    Jan. 22, 2015
    Kinda relieved to know that others experience volatile mood swings also...or more specifically, are on the receiving end of them! I have so much empathy for my partner, even though I will never fully understand what it is to be a diabetic. For the most part, I have learned to tolerate the mood swings, but some days I just find it to be impossible. There's only...
    RHMLucky777
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    Kinda relieved to know that others experience volatile mood swings also...or more specifically, are on the receiving end of them! I have so much empathy for my partner, even though I will never fully understand what it is to be a diabetic. For the most part, I have learned to tolerate the mood swings, but some days I just find it to be impossible. There's only so much a person can take. What frustrates me the most is the absolute denial and 'attack' mode. It's obvious to me that there is a lack of support available for partners of diabetics. I don't believe that we got the raw end of the deal by any means, but we certainly cop enough to warrant a little support.
  • jamsmith1963
    Jan. 10, 2015
    I have type 2 diabetes. I was diagnosed in August 2011. The doctor told me that I had been suffering from it for more than 10 years and didn't know it. I have had many anger outburst before the diagnosis and many more afterwards. This explains why I have had them. The more the years go by the worse the anger is. Most of the time I am blacked out and don't know...
    RHMLucky777
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    I have type 2 diabetes. I was diagnosed in August 2011. The doctor told me that I had been suffering from it for more than 10 years and didn't know it. I have had many anger outburst before the diagnosis and many more afterwards. This explains why I have had them. The more the years go by the worse the anger is. Most of the time I am blacked out and don't know that I had one. My blood sugar levels have been drastically high and the medicines I take won't bring them down to a satisfactory level. I can feel changes going on in my moods and some parts of my body. I have neuropathy as well. I'm already losing toe nails and having hard times with bladder control as well as constant diahrea. My wife says I'm so angry that she is afraid of me and wants me to go away. She has even told me that she would be better off if I was dead because she is that afraid of me. I don't know that I am that bad. But I believe her. Right now, I have no doctor anymore since I am unable to work. I can't get disability because diabetes and neurpathy is unrecognized by SSI. So I have no income and that frustrates me. We solely depend on her disability check to survive and she can't do it alone. Having diabetes changes your entire life. It can make the best part of you become the worse if you let it go too far.
    • Maggie
      Apr. 17, 2016
      Medicine alone is not enough. You have to EAT clean. Please find a clinic somewhere.
  • silvasteffenhagen
    Dec. 31, 2014
    My daughter is a type 1 diagnosed when she was 9, now she is 13, moods swings ar horrible, doesn't matter how much I know this is Diabetes, roller coster i get on her level I fighgt and get upset, then i ask her check your sugar... An she is higher that 350. Is like living with an alciholic. I remember my mother used to call chucky, her husband because he was...
    RHMLucky777
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    My daughter is a type 1 diagnosed when she was 9, now she is 13, moods swings ar horrible, doesn't matter how much I know this is Diabetes, roller coster i get on her level I fighgt and get upset, then i ask her check your sugar... An she is higher that 350. Is like living with an alciholic. I remember my mother used to call chucky, her husband because he was alcoholic and he had mood swings. But i can't forget the fact she is sick and ghat she has a big need of controling others but she can't control her self. I forget we are mirrors and we reflect each-other's deffects and fears. I wish me and you have more patience
  • Ana
    Ana
    Dec. 03, 2014
    My boyfriend and I have been living together for about three years now.. He is a T1D .. We fight a lot" but sometimes I think that it has to do with us not having sex .. I mean we have sex like once a month" he won't even bother to look at me" he says he can't but he has no insurance so he won't go to the doctor"" sometimes I think it has nothing to do with...
    RHMLucky777
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    My boyfriend and I have been living together for about three years now.. He is a T1D .. We fight a lot" but sometimes I think that it has to do with us not having sex .. I mean we have sex like once a month" he won't even bother to look at me" he says he can't but he has no insurance so he won't go to the doctor"" sometimes I think it has nothing to do with his illness" does anybody know if it's true that diabetes affects your sexual life" how do I deal with this" I've been told I'm a lovely beautiful woman " I don't feel beautiful anymore.. Am I being selfish? I want to be able to understand him but he shuts me out all the time! He is really mean "
    • mellenthinb
      Dec. 26, 2014
      diabetes does affect a man's erection. Depending on how high or how low his sugar levels are results in no erection. My husband is type 1 and if he drinks a little too much or if his blood sugar levels are too high or too low affects our sex life. some men find it very hard to be in a relationship being they have erectile dysfunction due to their disease. stay...
      RHMLucky777
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      diabetes does affect a man's erection. Depending on how high or how low his sugar levels are results in no erection. My husband is type 1 and if he drinks a little too much or if his blood sugar levels are too high or too low affects our sex life. some men find it very hard to be in a relationship being they have erectile dysfunction due to their disease. stay patient and be very understanding.
    • Fedup35
      Jun. 17, 2015
      Leave him ASAP. He's just your boyfriend now? thank your lucky stars and get the he## out. I am speaking from experience. I have wasted the prime years of my life with a man just like that. Now, I'm in my 30's, he's impotent and an asshol## to boot. I've stayed and supported, loved, ...blah blah blah.. RUN.
    • Katieapeacock68
      Dec. 22, 2015
      I really do associate with ur story .I have only been with my bloke for 7 months and I dobt recognise him, he says he loves me but I dont feel his love anymore....he dosnt really want to come bear me...I am feeling unloved...like yourself and wonder how much his type1 diabetes has to do with it...he can be vile sometimes...I do love him....dont know how much...
      RHMLucky777
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      I really do associate with ur story .I have only been with my bloke for 7 months and I dobt recognise him, he says he loves me but I dont feel his love anymore....he dosnt really want to come bear me...I am feeling unloved...like yourself and wonder how much his type1 diabetes has to do with it...he can be vile sometimes...I do love him....dont know how much I can take...I feel so sad...for us both and associate so much with ur comments...he is changing so much
  • chdawi
    Nov. 30, 2014
    Things are horrible. I failed to mention that I myself have a connective tissue disease, and RA and fibro well I have been battling my specialist for two years now because he wants me to have a spinal implant done so I can handle the pain of walking. This past week he said it was time to move forward my nerves are dying in my feet and hands, I am and have been...
    RHMLucky777
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    Things are horrible. I failed to mention that I myself have a connective tissue disease, and RA and fibro well I have been battling my specialist for two years now because he wants me to have a spinal implant done so I can handle the pain of walking. This past week he said it was time to move forward my nerves are dying in my feet and hands, I am and have been upset by this yet I made the decision not to say anything to my boyfriend in fear of his mood swings, he is not physical but would go through one of his moods and say mean things or make fun of me due to my ailment. Finally this morning I got up the courage to tell him what my specialist said and how I have to see my family doctor so they can refer me onto my immunologist, he got very crappy about me not telling him when I came out with the truth to why I hadn't said anything yet he became more angry, leaned over and said this is why u need to leave move out. Tears flowed down my face I continued getting ready to go to the store, I have already been so upset by the news of my possible fate for the future then he of course has to men it ten times worse. I have always told him I would be there thru it all for his medical condition yet when something is wrong with me he will say things like u will b in a wheelchair or if u wouldn't eat three pieces of cake which makes no since because I don't eat like that but I have gained thirty pounds in the past 11 years due to my meds. How awful was it for him to let me down, when I came back from the store he was a total different person kept being nice to me, but never once said sorry or that he will be there for me. As I sat at the table trying to eat a sandwich I overheard his phone conversation with his mom, tears started flowing again bcuz I felt listen to how sweet he sounds talon to his mom yet just an hour ago he was so hateful towards me. My doctor told me years ago I needed to file for disability yet I refused and have worked plus put myself thru college and raised my family u think he would give me credit, especially considering what is happening to me is out of my control it is nothing I have done to bring non these issues no different than the him having diabetes he didn't bring them on himself he had such a high fever as a child it affected his pancreas, what do I do does anyone have advice, I am going to my doctor Monday and then to the immunologist and I think I'm just not gona talk to him anymore about it, I usually feel alone anyways why not be alone thru this process.
  • lynski5
    Nov. 12, 2014
    This is the only forum I have found and now I know my mums abusive comments lies integrations is due to her condition. I am her daughter and she has been diabetic for 17 years she is 81 in age unfortunately this has caused our relationship to be affected and I only visit for 2hours once a week ,I can't even bring myself to phone as I know she will upset me....
    RHMLucky777
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    This is the only forum I have found and now I know my mums abusive comments lies integrations is due to her condition. I am her daughter and she has been diabetic for 17 years she is 81 in age unfortunately this has caused our relationship to be affected and I only visit for 2hours once a week ,I can't even bring myself to phone as I know she will upset me. The hardest thing is she is living with my dad who is 87 who is blind kind and very patient man who is living in hell She control him like he is a dog takes him out in all weathers makes him lie to me to make her look good.She will not let me see him alone but I do when she has to go to the doctors ,just 2weeks ago he said he has thought about getting I touch with blind society so he could go into a home to get away she is so mentally abusive to him I have officially reported this when he was in hospital with a chest infection but nothing happened I also worry for his safety as he said her rages are out of control ,he is torn they have been married for 61years it is so sad I feel helpless and can only express my support when if I get the chance to speak alone with him. I am seeing a GP next week to discuss this but reading this forum I don't know what the answers will be. I feel helpless I don't know outcome,This last 10years has been terrible .
  • nurse01
    Oct. 31, 2014

    Reading these comments have really helped me today. My boyfriend is type 1.  He has a heart of gold, but the mood swings are more than I can handle sometimes.  He is currently dealing with more health issues related to his thyroid. Today he called me after his Dr. appointment and was so mean and hateful. I know he is angry, and he knows I will still...

    RHMLucky777

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    Reading these comments have really helped me today. My boyfriend is type 1.  He has a heart of gold, but the mood swings are more than I can handle sometimes.  He is currently dealing with more health issues related to his thyroid. Today he called me after his Dr. appointment and was so mean and hateful. I know he is angry, and he knows I will still love him despite these episodes of lashing out. But my feelings were so hurt today I had a hard time finishing my shift at work.  When he is in this angry mood I leave him alone even though my first instinct is to run to him and hold him tightly.  Giving him space and time to cool off is the only thing I know to do.  Tomorrow he will be a different person, but the roller coaster ride is getting hard to take.  Reading these other comments have helped me to not feel so alone this evening.

    • anonymous
      Mar. 02, 2015
      I think I feel the same way as you do... My boyfriend and I seem as the happiest couple and we feel the same as long as he is ok with his mood. On out first date he told me he had T1D and I accepted it without questions or fear, maybe thats why he felt so attached to me in the first place. To be honest everything has been more than wonderful, we had been together...
      RHMLucky777
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      I think I feel the same way as you do... My boyfriend and I seem as the happiest couple and we feel the same as long as he is ok with his mood. On out first date he told me he had T1D and I accepted it without questions or fear, maybe thats why he felt so attached to me in the first place. To be honest everything has been more than wonderful, we had been together for 6 months now and we have serious plans for out future. What I can't understand are his mood swings, we can be amazing at one moment in time, later he is all confused about us, he says he loves me and he has no doubt about it, that he trust me 100% and I swear I do everything to make him loved and special, I prepare sugar free deserts, his favorite meals, and other things. He can't stand my past relationship and I think is absurd, I LOVW HIM and accept him just the way he is... Perhaps his insecurities are because of his illness, I don't know anymore, I don't know how long I can stand this.
  • cheadawn
    Oct. 02, 2014

    I know these symptoms all too well I have been with my boyfriend for almost 11 years he has been diabetic (juvenile) since the age of 8 he takes two kinds of insulin shots after meal shots and the long acting for when he sleeps.  When I read some of these stories I feel like they were written by me.  The first 2 years he was only grumpy off and on...

    RHMLucky777

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    I know these symptoms all too well I have been with my boyfriend for almost 11 years he has been diabetic (juvenile) since the age of 8 he takes two kinds of insulin shots after meal shots and the long acting for when he sleeps.  When I read some of these stories I feel like they were written by me.  The first 2 years he was only grumpy off and on nothing I couldnt handle now when we got into r 5th year it got worse he would say such mean things like everything he did was right and it was his way or the high way which is not at all how I was brought up, the years that came after that were worse than any I experienced before now when he has his spells hetalks crap tries to belittle a person one minute and is the sweetest guy the next, it sucks because the good days use to out weigh the bad but anymore the had outweigh the good. I workdso hard for 4 1/2 years to get my B.S. degree yet he puts me down for it, I am somewhat of a social worker and because I dont make the money he thinks I should make he gripes about it to me grant u we live n a very small rural town where there r not many good paying jobs yet his job pays him well I am just so tired of feeling beneath him like I am never going to keasure up to his standards even though I have worked my butt off and I too help pay things for the kids and r family he has a daughter and I had three children when we first got together and my oldest lives on his own now,  my middle one graduates soon and my youngest is 14 it seems when they become teenagers he nags at them about dumb unimportant stuff yet he dont sit there and nag to his ex about his daughter, I treat all the kids the same even taking his daughter with me on family vacations in which he dont participate in never once has he taken  his child anywhere its like he leaves it up to me.  I live him dearly for the good days but how much more can a person taoe when this is day in and day out.  Usually when he becomes a butthead its either right before supper or right after why who knows he pays close attention to what he eats and checks his levels often more than most people do.  Sometimes I wonder f he aint bipolar also except I have never really see him depressed only mad or happy there is no medium.  I am now 41 he is 35 so is this only going to get worse with time I wore out my patience with him a long time ago and I am tired of blaming his sugar on this its bull that I have to take verbal cruel words one minute and the next pretend he never said them.  Im fed up but we just bought another home and r moving soon I just dont know what to do anymore.

  • CaringAngel
    Sep. 18, 2014

    Six years ago in a virtual world I met and fell in love with a caring and loving man. After two years of visiting him, I took the plunge and decided to leave the state I had lived in all my life and move in with this man I loved dearly and who loved me the same. I have lived with him for 4 years now and things were great the first two years and then he was...

    RHMLucky777

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    Six years ago in a virtual world I met and fell in love with a caring and loving man. After two years of visiting him, I took the plunge and decided to leave the state I had lived in all my life and move in with this man I loved dearly and who loved me the same. I have lived with him for 4 years now and things were great the first two years and then he was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes as well as a host of other diseases...he was placed on medication and we were fine. Now, however, in the last few months he has not taken care of himself...not paid attention to how and what he was eating and he stopped all his medications. Now he is constantly irritated by every little thing and is mean spirited and hateful. He regularly has called me names that are demeaning to me and a couple weeks ago he told me he still loved me but not like he used to. I gave up everything for this man and I believe he is my forever love. I'm hurting so much as I type this out because I do not want to give up on us and he has left me twice in the past three months. He now lives with his mother and sees me every day to take me to work. I'm at my wit's end here as I do not know whether to give in and give up or hang in there and hope his mom gets through to him regarding his medications and illnesses. 

    My question to other Type 2 diabetics is this: when you tell your significant other that you don't love them like you used to...is that really how you feel or is it because of your illness that you would say such a hurtful thing? Do you realize that you've said that? Is there hope if I stick it out? Does anyone know?

    • joelferreira
      Feb. 01, 2015
      I'm T1B for 10 years, i'm still young(19y) but im auto conscious about everything i do and everything i say. I have alot of mood swings and when i have them im aware of them but it's really hard to control myself, wheter is a hypoglycemia or a hyperglycemia event, when i'm with low sugar levels i can't focus and if somebody talks to me i'll just say stupid...
      RHMLucky777
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      I'm T1B for 10 years, i'm still young(19y) but im auto conscious about everything i do and everything i say. I have alot of mood swings and when i have them im aware of them but it's really hard to control myself, wheter is a hypoglycemia or a hyperglycemia event, when i'm with low sugar levels i can't focus and if somebody talks to me i'll just say stupid things(not in the mean way), but when i'm with high sugar levels it's a different story, i just fell the need of being mean to everyone even if they're are my family, or a friend, or someone i love, and at the moment i say those things i don't even care if i hurt the person. I used to have a girlfriend and i truly loved her but when i was with high sugar levels i didn't fell anything about her, it's like an emptyness inside of me, because of that i broke up with her because it's really to much when i changed of feelings so often, because when i was normal the feeling would come up again and i would feel really bad about the things a said/did. Now for your question, do we mean those stuff? No, we don't, after that we regret every single word we said but not all diabetics can tell that because they feel ashamed. Do we realise we said that? Well, in my case i do, and i just want to be myself and talk normally but there's something inside of me that doesn't allow me to be "me". But there's other diabetics who aren't aware of that but they also feel regret later. Is there hope if I stick it out? If he's not conscious about being with hyperglycemia you should at least warn him about meisuring his sugar levels and if needed take insulin, don't try to tell him that in an obvious way, like you know what his feeling like(for me it's like that, don't know if it's the same to him). Other thing is giving some space so he will go back to normal. For most diabetics when they have dark circles it means they have hypoglicemia or hyperglicemia, pay attention to that. Don't take those bad words so serious, you know he loves but inside of his head there's a battle of moods, it's really bad to handle this, sometimes suicidal thoughts appear...The only way for this not to happen so often is to have a good diet and control(even with this that will be always those moments) I think i am a good guy, people like me and i love them but when im not normal... forget about it I hope this information helped you and i'm sorry for my english.
  • CaringAngel
    Sep. 18, 2014

    Six years ago in a virtual world I met and fell in love with a caring and loving man. After two years of visiting him, I took the plunge and decided to leave the state I had lived in all my life and move in with this man I loved dearly and who loved me the same. I have lived with him for 4 years now and things were great the first two years and then he was...

    RHMLucky777

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    Six years ago in a virtual world I met and fell in love with a caring and loving man. After two years of visiting him, I took the plunge and decided to leave the state I had lived in all my life and move in with this man I loved dearly and who loved me the same. I have lived with him for 4 years now and things were great the first two years and then he was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes as well as a host of other diseases...he was placed on medication and we were fine. Now, however, in the last few months he has not taken care of himself...not paid attention to how and what he was eating and he stopped all his medications. Now he is constantly irritated by every little thing and is mean spirited and hateful. He regularly has called me names that are demeaning to me and a couple weeks ago he told me he still loved me but not like he used to. I gave up everything for this man and I believe he is my forever love. I'm hurting so much as I type this out because I do not want to give up on us and he has left me twice in the past three months. He now lives with his mother and sees me every day to take me to work. I'm at my wit's end here as I do not know whether to give in and give up or hang in there and hope his mom gets through to him regarding his medications and illnesses. 

    My question to other Type 2 diabetics is this: when you tell your significant other that you don't love them like you used to...is that really how you feel or is it because of your illness that you would say such a hurtful thing? Do you realize that you've said that? Is there hope if I stick it out? Does anyone know?

  • worwiz
    Sep. 10, 2014
    Well I am a type 2 diabetic, and here is my story, I hope it helps somebody. I was diagnosed about a year ago, but for many years when I would take a physical the blood sugar in my urine would be high I would just stay away from sugar and skip a meal retake the test the next day, and it would be fine. I am now 64 years old and most of my life has been very...
    RHMLucky777
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    Well I am a type 2 diabetic, and here is my story, I hope it helps somebody. I was diagnosed about a year ago, but for many years when I would take a physical the blood sugar in my urine would be high I would just stay away from sugar and skip a meal retake the test the next day, and it would be fine. I am now 64 years old and most of my life has been very rocky to say the least, I have deeply loved 3 woman and lost them all. Diabetes is and has been very prevalent in my family, and I grew up with the mood swings including my Father. My current wife, God bless her (just separated) I know without a question she loves me and I do love her deeply. So much for God fearing commitment, but truthfully she is much better off without me, there is no cure or help in the near future for this, and I do not see it getting better. Basically I moved my wife to Maryland from Florida, she left her family because she loved me and I turned out to be an asshole, I do not blame her for moving back. I bought a very big home, with hopes of fixing it as she likes and having rentals so she would have income for life, now that is over. She really was my world and there is no reason left to work on this house, but I will not give up, it is just not in me. I would wake up on Saturday morning and pray " please God help me make this a good day and keep my mouth closed" well before lunch I would already call her stupid, or good for nothing, (never physical with her) I would feel very sorry later but would say nothing because it sounded old, and I knew regardless how hard I tried it was going to happen again. I have been to doctors and they have been trying different medications but the inter rage, and or deep depression, would and still does, come and go all day with out fail, I think it is the sugar levels moving up and down. Even when I am alone, I feel an inter rage and sometimes break into tears for no reason. I ask the doctor for an insulin pump, but he said I was not authorized with type 2. I saw my daughter go through the same mood swings and now with the pump she is using, she is happy and healthy. The problem regardless how much you try to control your sugar, it is not always levels being high or low it is the rapid swings that do something in the brain, I think. Yes, I have a few times considered suicide, I am a Christian and believe there is a God and that act is a despicable cowardly act. Therefore, like many others I will live out the rest of my life, alone and one day die very much alone. I do have family who cares about me but I am so afraid of mistreating somebody l try to maintain a distance. I would not say it is hopeless but for years I have tried to control this beast and see little hope in the near term. I heard there is some kind of pump that is being used over seas that would help, but it is banned in this country. To the loved one putting up with this type of behavior the only advise I have for you is try to live apart and when this happens just leave until it is over. I am not a bad person, and try very hard to do what is right, your loved one may also, and just needs time alone to calm the beast inside, the best help would be for you to say nothing, leave, and come back later. I do not think you can do anything else for them.....
    • ariseshinejn
      Dec. 29, 2014
      What a great comment. My husband of 29 years can be so loving and also so mean. I never know what I am doing or not doing that will bring on a bad reaction. Praise God I believe but there are many moments when I want to say enough is enough. We had a wonderful 8 month dating time and then we married. First week of marriage and I learned my wonderful even temperamental...
      RHMLucky777
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      What a great comment. My husband of 29 years can be so loving and also so mean. I never know what I am doing or not doing that will bring on a bad reaction. Praise God I believe but there are many moments when I want to say enough is enough. We had a wonderful 8 month dating time and then we married. First week of marriage and I learned my wonderful even temperamental man was not of even temperament. How I have survived this so long is a God thing. I still love my husband very much but if it weren't for my belief that God is about to heal this... I would have run, and I mean run, a long time ago. 29 years is a long time to deal with it. We didn't find out he was diabetic till about 10 years ago... WE apparently still haven't figured it out... If I can just remember it isn't me - it is the blood sugar issue... I will make it, but there are days wherein the things he says are so unchristian and mean... and I ask God "When?" He tries to make it all "me".. It is all my fault... I should know better... I find myself never truthful with him about important things because I don't trust his mood swings already.. Somehow, all this will work out... I am 55 and not bad looking, not stupid and quite the believer in God and His promises... I believe, I believe... Just right now.... I am looking for a bit more support. Again, thanks for your sharing.... Would love to find a support group for spouses or/and families of diabetics.... Blessings
    • Newbie wife & mommy
      Aug. 15, 2015
      Wow! Thank you Man of God though u are struggling, you have helped me tremendously this early morning. Im in my mMid thirties my husband is 10yrs younger we been married 4yrs in september with two very young boys. I feel more prepared and thoughtful of what to expect in giving patience and love, My God, Dear Sir. Now I know why the Lord asked me to search online...
      RHMLucky777
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      Wow! Thank you Man of God though u are struggling, you have helped me tremendously this early morning. Im in my mMid thirties my husband is 10yrs younger we been married 4yrs in september with two very young boys. I feel more prepared and thoughtful of what to expect in giving patience and love, My God, Dear Sir. Now I know why the Lord asked me to search online for "Christian woman witb diabetic husband". My Dear Husband was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in his Prime of age. I will not repeat his actions since most has been related here on this site. After understanding this devastaing issue my husband and our family now has. I looked for as I scrolled for a Ray of hope....and dear sir thank I found that in the comment you shared. Truly thank you a million billlion times over and over again. Thank YOU LORD JESUS AND PLEASE BLESS THIS, NOW SEASONED IN LIFE, Man of God You Lord are his greatest hope. u blessed me this morning. Stay blessed an of Wisdom you are loved. sooo very much.😁😘😄😄😄💖👑🌟🏆🎶🎼🎹🎤🎻🎺⚽🏀🎾🏡🌃🐦🌻🌸🌞
    • Sadtothebone
      Sep. 28, 2015
      You seem very self aware and sincere and my heart goes out to you.. Please get on an antidpressant. My husband wax much better on Zoloft, but tefused to take it. ! Maybe it woukd help you, too.
  • curious
    Sep. 01, 2014

    Just fishing here but can anyone relate to extreme mood swings due to heat like on holiday ?? 75 year old diabetic (injects insulin every day) seems to have lost the plot on holiday being vile, abusive and nasty ?? Not usually like this so wondering if the heat could be affecting his moods ?? 

    • worwiz
      Sep. 09, 2014
      Anything can affect the mood of a diabetic, a dream the night before he /she thinks about it Adeline starts flowing sugar spikes, bad mood big mouth is result....
    • Anna
      Mar. 31, 2016
      The weather was a big factor for me. I got told I needed more sun, I hate the heat so I stayed out of the sun. But now I take VitD pills and getting out into the sun improves my mood.
  • Elathron
    Aug. 30, 2014

    Where do I start? I'm a 29 y/o guy who's been living with a T1D girlfriend for the last 8 years (anniversary in 8 days - not that I am looking forward to it in my current state of mind!). The mood swings that I have to put up with are scary, and often during one of her rages my girlfriend will admit to being hypo - but as a part of the rage will blame me for...

    RHMLucky777

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    Where do I start? I'm a 29 y/o guy who's been living with a T1D girlfriend for the last 8 years (anniversary in 8 days - not that I am looking forward to it in my current state of mind!). The mood swings that I have to put up with are scary, and often during one of her rages my girlfriend will admit to being hypo - but as a part of the rage will blame me for it - and refuse any help that I try to give! Just over an hour ago I was in trouble when she woke up (yelling at me in my sleep) because I placed my dressing gown over her slightly damp one on a clothes hook. Despite me trying to give her my (dry) dressing gown she seemed to need to villainise me for getting something wrong, and I couldn't say a single thing to calm the situation down (in fact saying anything makes it worse 99% of the time, but leaving her alone is also a big mistake as then I apparrently don't care enough to be verbally abused for anything up to 2/3 hours). To put a few things into context however, I have been doing all of the housework, shopping, odd-jobs, money-making for the last 6 weeks while she recovers from day surgery. I do all of these things without complaint until I'm being shouted at and belittled for getting one aspect wrong; often I've done nothing rationally/logically wrong, it is a perceived infraction!!! 

    When my girlfriend is hyper I will usually notice her being tired and a little self-absorbed, but her moods are mostly stable until her blood sugars go below 3.5. At which point it's either a very sweet person (10% of the time) asking me to get some Glucogel, or a very nasty, bitter and hateful rage at me for being so useless and uncaring. I have ADHD myself and it is very hard to not react to some of the things I get told, and I will admit to having had a few times where I just couldn't hold back (for example being told you deserved to be sexually abused as a child has a tendancy to spark some old tensions in the psyche). But the hurtful, spiteful things I get thrown in my face I'm expected to ignore (at all times) and instead I'm supposed to just be a calm and placcid individual; taking it all on the chin. Sadly, as we all know, even the most patient of humankind will have a limit on how much they can take. Sadly when I react and defend myself I get demonised, especially after the event. I try to explain that if a psychopath was hitting me in the face because of his condition, I would still have every right to defend myself. It doesn't matter what state people are in, if someone says something that is designed to hurt (and low blood sugar T1D's have a knack for saying purely destructive and venomous things) and it cuts deep enough, the victim is going to react and either try to defend themselves or walk away from the situation (which makes things even worse afterwards because apparently I don't care enough!!!). 

    I wish sometimes that my partner's BS's were controlled better, I try to help and be as supportive as I can be, but I don't think that I should be expected to sacrifice so muh of my life only to be the victim of what is, for all intents and purposes, psychological and verbal abuse. I am now also coming to the slow and sad conclusion that there is something else amiss with my partner. I am becoming increasingly worried that she has a form of borderline personality disorder on top of her T1D. I realise this is not something I'm qualified to diagnose, but when you read scores of studies, experiences, stories and medical journals on the subject and the person fits 100% of the symptoms it kinda becomes one of those things that needs exploring. Needless to say I am at my wits end, fed up of treading around a minefield - let alone eggshells - and I'm now getting incredibly depressed myself (but still having to carry on bearing the brunt of the emotional and physical workload).

  • anne.griffiths
    Aug. 27, 2014
    Feeling so down this morning after a sleepless night between the sofa and spare bedroom distancing myself from my Type 1 diabetic husband who had earlier that night had a rage because his food was not on the table. Although he tries so hard to keep his blood sugar levels stable there still exists the raging, agressive, bullying tantrums! He recognises no reasoning,...
    RHMLucky777
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    Feeling so down this morning after a sleepless night between the sofa and spare bedroom distancing myself from my Type 1 diabetic husband who had earlier that night had a rage because his food was not on the table. Although he tries so hard to keep his blood sugar levels stable there still exists the raging, agressive, bullying tantrums! He recognises no reasoning, reverts all blame to me and is in complete denial. He was diagnosed 14 years ago and his mood swings are just heightening with time, becoming unbearable and uncontrolled. I am a six year breast cancer survivor still taking anti-cancer medication probably indefinitely. I have over the last 5 years tragically lost two brothers. My husband with his mood swings is destroying any chance of our 31 year marriage surviving. I see no solution. I have to distance myself from the monster he has become, sadly, intolerable! I googled this site this morning out of desperation. I am sympathetically amazed at how many other people have found their relationships breaking down because of the side effects of diabetes. May we all find the strength to tolerate. I myself do not know which way to turn.
    • Doone
      Nov. 02, 2014

      I'm currently sitting in a coffee shop because my sweet husband of this morning turned into the vilest person by lunchtime because I did not fully agree that retail therapy is great (I have just finished a 10 day stretch with no day off in retail).  In a cafe I was called many things plus the worst word ever.  When I made moves to leave he pointed...

      RHMLucky777

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      I'm currently sitting in a coffee shop because my sweet husband of this morning turned into the vilest person by lunchtime because I did not fully agree that retail therapy is great (I have just finished a 10 day stretch with no day off in retail).  In a cafe I was called many things plus the worst word ever.  When I made moves to leave he pointed his finger at me and said 'don't you f ... ing dare'. If I say it's because he's hungry his behaviour only escalates.  I have been with him for over 20 years and most of the time he is the most wonderful husband one could hope for.  This overreactic rage has occurred twice in the last 4 months - and on odd occasions over the years - and they frighten me.  I spend a lot of time worrying about saying the wrong thing.  Now we'll probably not speak for a few days as his words insulted, belittled and humiliated me.  When I told him how I felt his response was that he didn't care.  How on earth can he understand how awful it is when he doesn't remember the rage afterwards?  I'm not glad to be the only one dealing with this but it's comforting to know that it's not me being too sensitive.  

       

    • katherinabogdan
      Aug. 25, 2015
      Praying for you. Hang in there, and you two MUST go to a diabetic support group. There is no chance in hell u should be suffering like this.
  • thefen
    Aug. 23, 2014

    I am married to a lovely lady for 11 years. In 2007 I was diagnosed as diabetic.

      2 years ago I progressed to the state that I was very tired and irritable especiall with my wife. I went to Ontario for a trip to see my Dad and Mom and my Dad checked my blood sugars and they where in the high 20`s. When I got back home, I insisted my doctor put me on insulin...

    RHMLucky777

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    I am married to a lovely lady for 11 years. In 2007 I was diagnosed as diabetic.

      2 years ago I progressed to the state that I was very tired and irritable especiall with my wife. I went to Ontario for a trip to see my Dad and Mom and my Dad checked my blood sugars and they where in the high 20`s. When I got back home, I insisted my doctor put me on insulin ASAP. Today I`m doing much better with lower readings however I get irritated and say hurtful things to my wife because I am grumpy. I have heard other diabetics discuss their irritability in their relationships as well. The only way I find to keep a cool temperment with diabetis is to eat a well balanced diet, I take pure Stevia, eliminated all sugar, don`t drink soda pop whatsoever, avoid ice cream and candy, eat lots of fruit, nuts and vegitables and very little meat,  I Take 24 units of insulin in the morning, with 2 metphprmins, after a days work, I have supper around 4-5 pm.

      My wife and I have each a TerraTrike cruiser which we ride for a couple of hours each night after supper or go for a 2 or 3 km hike. My blood sugars are much more easier to control and I am alot more happier./ I notice to that hot humid weather causes me to be very irritable and temper to flare. I live on the NW Coast of BC, I am very fortunate to be here for the amount of cloud and rain we get. My Doctor said he would take me off insulin if I didn`t take Diabetis more serious then I was. I took heed to his advice and doing much better now

     

      I8 hope this help           

  • Chabodeuxx
    Aug. 09, 2014

    These comments do seem to be onesided. I had type 1 diabetes for 10 years with tight controll, yet the "mood swings" are there. First of all I think the person doesn't change from Diabetes itself, at least not permamently. When the increased bloodsugar affects the brain the behaviour might change, but it will pass. However these tensions will build up and create...

    RHMLucky777

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    These comments do seem to be onesided. I had type 1 diabetes for 10 years with tight controll, yet the "mood swings" are there. First of all I think the person doesn't change from Diabetes itself, at least not permamently. When the increased bloodsugar affects the brain the behaviour might change, but it will pass. However these tensions will build up and create grudges, and that what might change the diabetic's relations on the long run. The diabetic feels that he is expected to maintain "niceness" even when his BLOOD IS BOILING (thats how i prefer to describe my rage issues), be nice, when the rage is almost unbearable. You are not angry at someone or something, you are JUST ANGRY and I feel that i need to let it take controll, to gain relief. In my experience both restraining yourself and letting it taking controll has severe effects, the best is just to BE ALONE till it passes. And it can  pass pretty quickly, if the circumstances are right.On the other side I imagine it must feel that even tho you are as sympathetic as someone can get, you still getting your head biten off, despite your good intentions and you feel that you dont deserve that and you expect better self restrain. It does seem like a reasonable demand, yet even I cannot fully control my rage, and Im an insanely calm guy, whos literally never stressed. Yet Im getting convienced that its just chemistry. Your hormones determine your actions, you cant fully controll them.

    So as conclusion, my advice is, that you should just keep your distance and let the diabetic calm down. Whatever you do, no matter how good your intentions are, it will just make things worse. In my rage periods everything will annoy me, a person eating next to me, talking, asking you to hand over the salt...EVERYTHING, even breathing :). This does sound horrible, and guess leaving the diabetic alone only works if it doesnt happen that often. As I said im having pretty tight controll, perfect HbA1c levels, yet occasional f.ckups are still there in my daily life. As sad as it is, the truth is that the diabetics are damaged. You either have to make the sacrifice and accept that the diabetic cannot maintain full controll and sometimes he wont be himself for a short period or just give up on him. Of course thats said, its completely reasonable to expect as tight controll as possible and regular blood tests, mainly when the behaviour indicates that something is awfully wrong. If the diabetic refuses to adopt to the disease and regular blood sugar tests, its a lost cause. There surely some psychology behind that behaviour, which might be changed. Afterall 90% of the times the diabetic DID FAIL if the bloodsugar is too high and that can be frustrating and if the blood sugar is always bad, it might just feel easier to give up and dont even test it. Maintaining controll over blood sugar, always planning ahead, calculating, thinking, injecting 6-7 times a day, becouse you are too much or made a mistake can be EXTREMELY TIRING. And sometimes a single mistake has an effect for a whole day. If i had to inject extra insulin, becouse i f.cked it up, there will be an overload, it might effect my bloodsugar 10hours later and it goes up again due to the earlier mistake. Point is,its tiring, but one must accept the rules, even if they are extremely unfair, and adopt to them. Becouse it is possible to adopt to them and well survive...

    • Sadtothebone
      Sep. 28, 2015
      Perhaps you could start an awareness campaign and reach out to others! I think all of the family members here could deal with our persons with diabetes if they were as insightful and commited as you are. We all care and have made great allowances, but we can only take so much. I'm very sincere. You could help bring attention to this important, life ruining...
      RHMLucky777
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      Perhaps you could start an awareness campaign and reach out to others! I think all of the family members here could deal with our persons with diabetes if they were as insightful and commited as you are. We all care and have made great allowances, but we can only take so much. I'm very sincere. You could help bring attention to this important, life ruining issue.
    • goodatchess
      Nov. 11, 2015
      I like your post. My husband is type 1 since age 11 and is now 52 and spazes out over stupid stuff. thanks very much for you insight
    • A5m5b5
      Apr. 13, 2016
      Three cheers for this post.
    • A5m5b5
      Apr. 13, 2016
      I know that for my brother (type one diabetic) he figured it out on his own. Actually, I can remember the day he came and told me about it. We figured it out because on his weapon choices in playing halo :) lol when he was high he would use a sniper rifle and when he was low he chose shot gun. Those were good times :) that was just a precursor though. He is...
      RHMLucky777
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      I know that for my brother (type one diabetic) he figured it out on his own. Actually, I can remember the day he came and told me about it. We figured it out because on his weapon choices in playing halo :) lol when he was high he would use a sniper rifle and when he was low he chose shot gun. Those were good times :) that was just a precursor though. He is completely aware of his mood swings and always keeps an eye on his blood sugars. But he still has days (or weeks) where he is stuck high or low and it is not his fault. I have seen him try and fix a high by adding over 20 units of insulin to his normal day and still hit 300. I wish a hug could fix him. I don't know as much about my boyfriend and what he does about his diabetes, but I know he often is in far less control. He doesn't seem to have mood swings (yet/anymore). It is interesting to me to read posts and hear there are people who don't take responsibility of there disease. That is so strange strange. I know 5 diabetics personally and they are all responsible. Well... As much as they can be. My boyfriend is probably the best responsible of the group, but I also know that the insurance does not cover the amount of insulin my brother gets. It really makes me mad. I wish it was not so dumb.
  • malber
    Aug. 09, 2014

    Loving Spouses..

     

    Yes, I am a perfect example of my spouses personality changing. I am close to settling my divorce with my spouse. We were together for 26 years and married 24 years. My spouse left me three times during our marriage and finally snapped a year ago. Of course, I tried to save our relationship but, I could not reason with my spouse for...

    RHMLucky777

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    Loving Spouses..

     

    Yes, I am a perfect example of my spouses personality changing. I am close to settling my divorce with my spouse. We were together for 26 years and married 24 years. My spouse left me three times during our marriage and finally snapped a year ago. Of course, I tried to save our relationship but, I could not reason with my spouse for anything.  I tried to express my concern to the endrocrinologist doctor but they ignored my letter. My spouse was a Type I diabetic and just started a new drugs study for his condition. Of course, I am sad about my situation but, I feel that I do not want to be subjected to a home environment where it is you unsettling. One thing, I would advise is to stay connected with the doctors. Have a chat about what is going to occur with this condition. My spouse would not let me ever go to the doctors appointments. I simply just respected my spouses request and was a dedicated partner. I hope this has help. 

  • Gerbera
    Aug. 08, 2014
    I've read all the comments along the way. I too can relate to this by saying that I've been married to a wonderful man for 32 years. He's now 56 but from the age of 45 he was diagnosed with Type 2. At age 53 he left home. To be honest I don't know who this man is anymore. It's heartbreaking to see his condition deteriorate - the highs and lows of diabetes is...
    RHMLucky777
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    I've read all the comments along the way. I too can relate to this by saying that I've been married to a wonderful man for 32 years. He's now 56 but from the age of 45 he was diagnosed with Type 2. At age 53 he left home. To be honest I don't know who this man is anymore. It's heartbreaking to see his condition deteriorate - the highs and lows of diabetes is pretty scary. We've been living apart 2 years and there all conversations take place on the phone. I would get interrogating phone calls by being asked whom I with. No matter how much I tell him, he never believes me, tells me I'm lying, tells me I put my friends first etc. He quit his job 2 years ago and has not worked since. I'm tired of all the constant interrogations. He stopped all diabetes medication 18 months ago - tells me he no longer has diabetes therefore he's in denial. He does not have regular Dr check ups either. This is out of my hands as we live apart. The regular aggressive outbursts, constant interrogation, the verbal, mental and emotional abuse I constantly cop from him is tiring. It's affected me emotionally - I cry constantly and am currently undergoing counselling. I have read many blogs on various websites about women being in long term marriages who are ready to walk out and end the marriage. After 36 years of being with this person and have hung on for so many years thinking things will get better, but believe me with my experience and knowledge, things just don't get better - in fact the mood swings and aggression towards me are getting worse. He's now even accusing me of having affairs which have never happened ! This aggressive verbal abuse always happens when I'm alone and I don't have witnesses. Luckily I have taped a few of the conversations without his knowledge. I wish I could fix things but unfortunately Type 2 diabetes is a nasty disease that has taken over my husband's body and has solely but surely turned him into a monster - into a man I do not know and I'm too afraid to be alone with him because he has an aggressive streak which is scary that only developed since he was diagnosed with Type 2 11 years ago. I cannot live in a marriage with this ongoing verbal emotional and mental abuse - I have to get out now before it is too late. I feel for everyone who is also in this situation and I recommend you get out while you can - as when things turn aggressive who knows what can happen. I've taken the hard and very difficult decision to file for divorce as I cannot live in a marriage with someone I no longer know. God Bless !
  • Lozza
    Jul. 31, 2014
    I feel for you as in the same position, my husband and I have been married for 1 year together 4 and we have two beautiful girls. He has been type 1 diabetic since he was 7 and his a bad one and recently made him severely sighted so I am his carer, looking after two babies under 3 and my husband and I work is hard, I'm also quite I'll myself, I feel in the...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    I feel for you as in the same position, my husband and I have been married for 1 year together 4 and we have two beautiful girls. He has been type 1 diabetic since he was 7 and his a bad one and recently made him severely sighted so I am his carer, looking after two babies under 3 and my husband and I work is hard, I'm also quite I'll myself, I feel in the last year or so his mood swings are intolerable both when he is high or low I'll know by his tone of vOice how he is, he does not acknowledge ever his mood swings. He talks terribly to me and the children but doesn't seem to realise his doing it, in fact his trying to combine me that it's my issue ! I has to go on anti depressants 8 weeks ago just to stop crying all the time and try to let his moods hon over my head, he has now found out and says it's me that needs the help! But with blood sugars of over 19 or below 5 it's come to a head, not sure now if the mood swings our way the nice him anymore. Used to be 80% good 20% bad and now it's vice versa, he doesn't believe it's him and I feel lonely and like in going crazy!! Add me on Facebook if you would like to talk more :) your not alone trust me !! Www.facebook.com/Lorrainesuzannewinter
  • ajg
    ajg
    Jul. 31, 2014

    I have a significant other, he has diabetes. I am curious and wonder I have read several of the comments, I see situations like mine, significant other with diabetes with violent, aggressive mood swings. It is nice to know that a cause could be medical related and that the problems we have been enduring could be related to diabetes. I am going...

    RHMLucky777

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    I have a significant other, he has diabetes. I am curious and wonder I have read several of the comments, I see situations like mine, significant other with diabetes with violent, aggressive mood swings. It is nice to know that a cause could be medical related and that the problems we have been enduring could be related to diabetes. I am going to continue reading, but I haven't read where someone has gotten their situations to improve or change for the better, and continuing on in the relationship. I am hoping someone has had a good, happy and successful ending, please respond.

    • Saffywal
      Aug. 03, 2014
      It's amazing to read what has been said as it sounds so much like my situation. I have been married nearly two years & feel so despondent about how long our marriage will last as I am fed up with my husband's moods swings. He was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes about 3 years ago & has always been rather impatient but recently has been particularly moody & bad...
      RHMLucky777
      Read More
      It's amazing to read what has been said as it sounds so much like my situation. I have been married nearly two years & feel so despondent about how long our marriage will last as I am fed up with my husband's moods swings. He was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes about 3 years ago & has always been rather impatient but recently has been particularly moody & bad tempered & speaks down to me as if I am a two year old. He blames me for everything & if things go wrong he talks down to me in a very aggressive way like he is giving me a lecture & gets upset about the most trivial matters. In desperation I have mentioned having marriage guidance but he has refused. I would love to know what to do next to improve the situation. I haven't dared to suggest that his fits of anger may be due to his diabetes. He tries to ignore the fact that he has the disease & never checks his blood sugar level & rarely visits the doctor. I'm surprised that he hasn't been encouraged to join a group or to take more exercise as he is over weight & continues to eat cakes etc. Would welcome any advice as feel very depressed about the situation.
    • Gerbera
      Aug. 08, 2014
      Hi there I've just posted my story above under the name Gerbera. After reading all these comments from everyone I now know that it's not me. With my husband's continual aggressive outbursts I know that this disease is nasty. We all hope that our husbands will change for the better but unfortunately after being with him for 36 years now I've decided to divorce...
      RHMLucky777
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      Hi there I've just posted my story above under the name Gerbera. After reading all these comments from everyone I now know that it's not me. With my husband's continual aggressive outbursts I know that this disease is nasty. We all hope that our husbands will change for the better but unfortunately after being with him for 36 years now I've decided to divorce as I can no longer live like this - I need to move on with my life. I've tried to support him in every way I can but he left 2 years ago which for me wS a relief. Every single time I'd see him I'd be constantly verbally abused yet I know I've done nothing wrong. It's a terrible situation living with your spouse who has diabetes. There's times that one fears for their life as you're never sure how bad the aggressive streak will last. In these situations whilst we still lived together I used to walk away from him and go into another room but he'd always follow me which his scary. The more commentary I read on this website and many other websites I know that I'm not alone in this situation and that many women are going through the same. No-one knows what you go through as the person who has the diabetes will always target you when you're alone ! All I can say is if you're fearing the aggressive streaks are not getting better and you're starting to fear for your life like I have, it's time to get out while you can. I'm now filing for divorce after being with him for 36 years but there really is no other way forward. Good luck everyone xxx
  • lilbit7731
    Jul. 21, 2014

    My husband and I have been married 3 years her was diagnosed with diabetes 4 years ago. Add time goes on he's easily agitated. I used to think it was what I'm doing but it's not. He's just a miserable person. He tells me he's miserable with life. He refuses to get on any antidepressant medicines though. Our marriage suffers because of this. He doesn't realise...

    RHMLucky777

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    My husband and I have been married 3 years her was diagnosed with diabetes 4 years ago. Add time goes on he's easily agitated. I used to think it was what I'm doing but it's not. He's just a miserable person. He tells me he's miserable with life. He refuses to get on any antidepressant medicines though. Our marriage suffers because of this. He doesn't realise that I am beside him 100%. He just keeps telling me he's unhappy. 

  • Gladys
    Jul. 16, 2014

    Hi, it's good to know that mood swings are common place in Diabetics.

    I have been with my husband for 30 years, he has been a insulin dependant diabetic for 28 of thoes years. (We are both 50)

    Over the last 3 years my husbands personality has gone! my Husband my loving best friend my lover my rock my knight in shining armour, has gone, in...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    Hi, it's good to know that mood swings are common place in Diabetics.

    I have been with my husband for 30 years, he has been a insulin dependant diabetic for 28 of thoes years. (We are both 50)

    Over the last 3 years my husbands personality has gone! my Husband my loving best friend my lover my rock my knight in shining armour, has gone, in his place is someone i can not talk to someone who says he dose'nt love me like he used to someone who is so agresive mentally and physically someone i don't know anymore.  My Husband has never raised his voice to me and is totally none agressive (I know people say every couple argue I am not denying this but even when we used to argue he NEVER EVER raised his voice or hand to me)

    When he now has low blood sugars he gets no warnings. when i try to give him hypo stop,sugar or drink he screams and shouts right into my face and calls me nasty agressive names and headbuts and thumps and hits me. I am so afraid. when he comes out of his hypo he has no recolection of what his had done to me.  He is devastated. Till the next time. I am walking on egg shells, never knowing when it is going to happen again. Yes I am guilty of nagging him i try not to but i am always reminding him to test,to take his insulin, to eat properly to have snacks and to stop smoking his 20 a day cigarettes. He seems as though he has given up he is on a self destruct mission!  

    When i tell him how agressive he is and how he has been to me he gets very angry and says i am making it all up, he says im evil! He forgets things he repeats himself he get confussed easily. He has sudden outbursts of anger at the TV and passing people or at passing cars (never face to face!)

    I love him I always have I want to help But don't know how!!!!!

    He will not talk to me about any of it

    • mobysgirl
      Jul. 17, 2014

      This is a journey that I am on too.  My husband of nearly 27 years is unrecognisable - he is a completely different personality now.  He has was diagnosed with type 2 in 2007 and whilst it appears to be under control (his sugar levels seem to be stable when he takes the time to test his sugar levels) but he is drinking an awful lot of cold sugary...

      RHMLucky777

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      This is a journey that I am on too.  My husband of nearly 27 years is unrecognisable - he is a completely different personality now.  He has was diagnosed with type 2 in 2007 and whilst it appears to be under control (his sugar levels seem to be stable when he takes the time to test his sugar levels) but he is drinking an awful lot of cold sugary drinks and peeing far more than normal.  His aggression is completely new to me.  It usually starts around 5pm when he begins to get tired and I can literally see a change in his face and body language. I have been so scared by his ranting and uncontrolled outbursts, I have had to move out of my home.  It has just about broken my heart.  My two sons have found it very difficult to cope with too.  There seems to be little medical intervention can do - he was diagnosed as bipolar recently but reading these messages, I think that the diabetic profile has far more of a part to play.

    • Gladys
      Jul. 18, 2014

      Hi morbysgirls

       My heart goes out to you.

      Im sorry you have moved out but i totally understand why. I have forgotten just how many nights i have cried my self to sleep.

      I am at breaking point but I found the comments on health central really really helped.

      My husband had me nearly convinced it was all my fault. I began to really hate myself. I though...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Hi morbysgirls

       My heart goes out to you.

      Im sorry you have moved out but i totally understand why. I have forgotten just how many nights i have cried my self to sleep.

      I am at breaking point but I found the comments on health central really really helped.

      My husband had me nearly convinced it was all my fault. I began to really hate myself. I though tI was going mad.  I don't wish this experience on anyone but knowing this aggresion is a Diabetic related problem and not my husband turing bad helps.

      I took a big scary step, the last time he attacked me, I took a video on my phone. although you can not see all the physical side of the abuse you can hear all the verbal abuse. I showed it to my husband it was really hard to watch him as he watched, he had no idea at all, that this was what he is like with me (he has always said i make it up and i tell lies!)

      I then showed him some of the stories on this web site.

      It has really made him think. I had to say how would he feel if he was like this with our Grandchildren. It may not do any good now, it maybe to late but since then he has tested before every meal (he hasn't done this for years, when he goes to the Doctors he tells them false readings, he makes them up)  

      He has never accepted his diabetes, he has always said it's not going to rule to life, he hasn't looked after himself it's always been a battle. stay strong 

    • happybrumbum
      Jan. 05, 2016
      I am 65 yrs of age and I've been thinking lately that this is how my life will be until I die! My husband of 44 yrs is type 2 on insulin twice daily, eats cake biscuits etc just what he wants regardless of his sugar levels.I don't know howmuch more I can take, I am constantly belittled, blamed, put down, treated like he hates me ,not shown love or affection,...
      RHMLucky777
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      I am 65 yrs of age and I've been thinking lately that this is how my life will be until I die! My husband of 44 yrs is type 2 on insulin twice daily, eats cake biscuits etc just what he wants regardless of his sugar levels.I don't know howmuch more I can take, I am constantly belittled, blamed, put down, treated like he hates me ,not shown love or affection, no sex for a year now, I'm crying as I type this as it's so sad but also comforting to know I'm not alone with a husband like this. I wish my family could see how he is with me day in and day out. They know he is grumpy as they put it but they don't see the half of how he treats me.sorry to go on but I'm at the end of my tether, I'm on antidepressants to help me cope with his mood swings and his anger.
  • Whattodo
    Jul. 15, 2014

    My husband has been diabetic for 8 years and has just gone onto insulin, this has caused his mood swings to be massive and is effecting everyone apart from him. If I mention this to him he says I am being stupid and its not him its everyone else, my children have even started to notice how his mood changes and that we are walking on egg shells..... what can...

    RHMLucky777

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    My husband has been diabetic for 8 years and has just gone onto insulin, this has caused his mood swings to be massive and is effecting everyone apart from him. If I mention this to him he says I am being stupid and its not him its everyone else, my children have even started to notice how his mood changes and that we are walking on egg shells..... what can we do???

    Can they have help for this???

    • bec
      bec
      Jul. 29, 2014

      I am probably at my witz with my partner. Why can't he manage it better is all i think. I'm the one sitting here taking all the mood swings the highs the lows at all hours if the night. If I'm not up for the kids I'm up for him and I work full time. I don't know how I'm still functioning because I don't remember the last time I had a good night sleep. I've...

      RHMLucky777

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      I am probably at my witz with my partner. Why can't he manage it better is all i think. I'm the one sitting here taking all the mood swings the highs the lows at all hours if the night. If I'm not up for the kids I'm up for him and I work full time. I don't know how I'm still functioning because I don't remember the last time I had a good night sleep. I've called 4 Ambos so far this month. Where do I find strength to keep up with it because I'm almost done. And to him it's everyone else's fault theirs nothing wrong with him. Ahhhhh

  • TriniWife
    Jun. 13, 2014
    I am not happy that so many of you are faced with the ills associated with DM but I am happy that I am not alone in this. The stories brought tears to my eyes but a joy in my heart that what I have been experiencing over the past six weeks is not a loss of my husband's love and respect but a loss to an evil called diabetes. Somehow reading your comments have...
    RHMLucky777
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    I am not happy that so many of you are faced with the ills associated with DM but I am happy that I am not alone in this. The stories brought tears to my eyes but a joy in my heart that what I have been experiencing over the past six weeks is not a loss of my husband's love and respect but a loss to an evil called diabetes. Somehow reading your comments have already allowed me to forgive him in my heart for the irrationality and coldness that suddenly became him. It has coincided with the onset of ED. I hope it's not too late and I can find him. The real him ... And convince him to get the medical attention he needs. Please pray for us.
  • lost
    Jun. 03, 2014

    Just wow... thought I was the only one that had to deal with all this.. Glad and sad to know I am not the only one in this prison.

     

    I have been married to my type 1 diabetic wife for 17 years and we have 2 kids. I read all the comments and only a spouse would understand anything posted here!!! Friends and Family have no clue because they do not have to...

    RHMLucky777

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    Just wow... thought I was the only one that had to deal with all this.. Glad and sad to know I am not the only one in this prison.

     

    I have been married to my type 1 diabetic wife for 17 years and we have 2 kids. I read all the comments and only a spouse would understand anything posted here!!! Friends and Family have no clue because they do not have to deal with all the anger issues and mood swings. When we got married I thought it would be a small challenge. Slight miss calulation there, no where did it state anything about anger, mood swings, comas... its like living with jekel and hyde.  You never know when she will snap and everyday is living with a crazy person. I have to stay to protect my children from her uncontrolable moods swings for their saftey...

     

    If you are dating a diabatic. You have to leave to save yourself from this living hell.  The only peace and slight relaxation I get is getting to work for morning coffee. I dont sleep normally and have to wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning just to make sure she is still alive.. I lose track of the number of times I have found her in a coma... Its like I live in a concentration camp and over time you will be wore out , NO EXCEPTIONS... I never saw any of this happening and seeing my love and romance turn over time to anger and hatred. She does not care about herself, surgars or weight... and it drives me nuts that she never can recall anything, the yelling and screaming at the kids, the anger directed towards me, the threats. its pure raw hatred that is directed to me... 

     

    And travel.. forget that.. its like I am traveling with 3 children, its not even a vacation. its just always be ready to take care of those surgars in some remote city before we are really stuck... so all traveling is done by car so I can store up all of her needs. Yes I sound angry but I want a normal life, no more eggshells, no more threats, no more yelling and scremaing at the family. The kids are starting to hate her already and it will only get worst over time, when she is not home the house is normal , quiet and everyone is happy...

     

    The lack of any help for diabetic spouses is shocking.. there is nothing out there to help but some random thead (here) I was able to google and this came up... and all the articles are positive bs stuff because they dont want to tell you the truth of how things will be....avg diabetic lives say 10 years less then you. so going with 75 avg age,(just general numbers here) she will die at 65. throw in how unhealthy she is and that can be put to 55-60 range... Nice golden years, at least I will have some relaxtion but no spouse... hell she is dead already just a walking corpse that screams at me or the kids....

     

    We all need to get together and go on a cruise without our diabetic spouses. match up and have a real life together with normal health issues..... I guess I am just waiting now, for the slow agonizing death she is putting herself and our family thru.... 

     

    I can even cuddle on the couch any more or give her a hug, her weight is just unbelievable... Diabetes the desease that kills you physically, mentally and changes you over time to someone else, someone different...

     

     

    To my diabetic wife: 

    I did not get married to you? Who are you... I am the same person... my wife is gone, only in my deepest dreams at night do I see you anymore. 

     

    I miss all our romance, passionate encounters, walks by the lake, the smile that use to great me in the mornings, happy just to know I was in the house ....no mood swings, when I could pick you up in my arms.... where did my wife go? If you find her send her home.                           Love your husband. 

     

    • Anonymous
      Insue Lynn Penn
      Jun. 04, 2014
      So sorry but I actually laughed out loud. I've read all the comments but yours was closer to home. I went from thinking 'oh poor thing how awful, how many ways can I help?' To thinking 'just f**cking die you horrible mean pyscho crazy lunatic' in a short time. Sad but true. I felt stripped to the bone. They suck the life blood out of you don't they? You feel...
      RHMLucky777
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      So sorry but I actually laughed out loud. I've read all the comments but yours was closer to home. I went from thinking 'oh poor thing how awful, how many ways can I help?' To thinking 'just f**cking die you horrible mean pyscho crazy lunatic' in a short time. Sad but true. I felt stripped to the bone. They suck the life blood out of you don't they? You feel cheated out of an ordinary marriage and envy friends who can have a normal argument with spouse without them shapeshifting into Norman bates before your eyes. What a crazy making illness. Had I known then what I do know I'd have run for the hills. Had 2 children and tried the 'in sickness and in health' oath but he was damaging my mental health and it was sickening. Type 1 Ex husband. I ran for them hills as fast as I could go. Once the fantasies about stabbing him in the face with the needles he left lying around for the children to find and pierce themselves with set in, as well as crying on a daily basis. I had to go. He didn't care about his condition either, so why should I? I sound like an evil person but to you all in this position, you know how it is, unfortunately. Good to be free. Good luck friend.
    • Anonymous
      Jun. 09, 2014
      Wow this could be my life your talking about. After 25 years with a type 1 I'm worn out, emotionally drained and live on edge with the constant mood swings. I won't let my kids marry a diabetic. I'm so jealous of normal couples I watch them in the park, in the shops or just walking down the street. I feel I have been robbed of my chance of a happy loving marriadge....
      RHMLucky777
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      Wow this could be my life your talking about. After 25 years with a type 1 I'm worn out, emotionally drained and live on edge with the constant mood swings. I won't let my kids marry a diabetic. I'm so jealous of normal couples I watch them in the park, in the shops or just walking down the street. I feel I have been robbed of my chance of a happy loving marriadge. I have a very lonely life.
  • Too familiar
    May. 26, 2014
    I never wanted to see my husband as "my type 1 diabetic husband" but as my husband who happens to have diabetes. I am beginning to come to grips with the futility in that. Labeling him or anyone is something that does not feel good and something I have tried so hard not to do. We dated for over 5 years before marrying, so the effects of high blood sugar on...
    RHMLucky777
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    I never wanted to see my husband as "my type 1 diabetic husband" but as my husband who happens to have diabetes. I am beginning to come to grips with the futility in that. Labeling him or anyone is something that does not feel good and something I have tried so hard not to do. We dated for over 5 years before marrying, so the effects of high blood sugar on his mood (and vice versa) was not a surprise. Any diet slip, poor monitoring, stressful day ends in likely disaster, e.g. irritability, impatience, over-reaction, unwarranted escalation, misinterpreted statements, and seeming blindness to how inflammatory and hurtful his words become and how unnecessary. But after sustaining a commuter marriage for 2 years, in just 1 short month after moving in together full time, everything horrid that happens to him under duress is amplified. He got the new pump with the sensor about the same time, so the constant beeping warning him of high blood sugar was at first a relief. Something else confirming to him that he was running high numbers, not my gentle coaxing to test removed the likelihood he'd snap at me before the test. Just a couple weeks in, however, he suddenly stopped using it and this week has been out of control. It is as if he is deliberately trying to self-impload. Somehow being shown that my suspicion that he seems to be digesting food more slowly (elevated numbers come later), that the old approaches of eating whatever he wants in the carb department (throwing insulin at the problem ) are not working, all so offend him that he is trying to prove he can succeed without it after all. He is under excellent medical care on a positive note. He wanted it so badly, but now he blames the harsh tape (tore his skin) that holds it on for why he is "taking a break from it". I confront his behavior ( not always gently, but I try) when it becomes inappropriate, but the constant altercations that can result cause damage to our relationship that is not sustainable. Talking about it with him is a no win as well. He will get defensive or withdraw. I feel sympathy for his inability to live an unincumbered day; he has lived with this for nearly 50 years. But I need him to own his behavior when this happens and react with the same sense of urgecy he takes when he goes low. I love him, but I hate what how this condition is slowly, insidiously causing damage to both of us now.
  • Anonymous
    #missmyhusband
    May. 22, 2014

    I felt so much better after I found this site.  It was like reading my story over and over.  My husband of 23 years is telling me that he no longer has any feelings for me or our 4 kids. He admits that he is numb,  cold, and empty.  I keep telling him that he's showing every sign of depression.  I've tried showing him the link between...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    I felt so much better after I found this site.  It was like reading my story over and over.  My husband of 23 years is telling me that he no longer has any feelings for me or our 4 kids. He admits that he is numb,  cold, and empty.  I keep telling him that he's showing every sign of depression.  I've tried showing him the link between type 1 diabetes and depression.  He still refuses to seek treatment.  I'm trying to be patient and understanding and strong, even when he's staring blankly at me. He doesn't even seem to care how much he's hurting me and our kids. I've overlooked so many things over the last 16 years since his diagnosis, but this is destroying me. I don't know how much longer I can hold on.  I just want my husband back, and my kids desperately want their daddy back.  I feel so alone, and I don't know what to do. 

    • Hortgirl
      Aug. 06, 2014

      my husband was diagnosed with diabetes 6 months after we married and I was pregnant with our first child...his anger started back then when he slammed my hand in the bathroom door during an argument...I have overlooked so many things over the years and covered up for him constantly, doing everything for him while he continues to self medicate with fast food...

      RHMLucky777

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      my husband was diagnosed with diabetes 6 months after we married and I was pregnant with our first child...his anger started back then when he slammed my hand in the bathroom door during an argument...I have overlooked so many things over the years and covered up for him constantly, doing everything for him while he continues to self medicate with fast food on a daily basis...all the while, I'm planning healthy meals and packing his lunches, he is eating fast food 3 times a day and never wants to sit down to dinner with his family...now we have a 7 and 8 year old...he has cursed me out in private so many times, yelled at me with the kids in earshot...and most recently, he's gotten drunk and cursed me out in public 3 times..i've had to have a friend rescue me and my kids from his rage....i just spent our summer beach vacation with him in ICU due to diabetic ketoacidosis, which he is blaming on bronchitis (which was a contributing factor)...even if he really does start taking care of himself this time and gets better, i don't think that I can ever live with him, respect him, etc...I'm done with the craziness and I've been holding on to hope for all of these years for the sake of the children, but the truth is, I think that they will be better off away from him and all of his problems, that he can't seem to control

  • jazzosmiuth
    May. 19, 2014

    Mood swings, really?

     

    My wife is leaving me after 12 happy years of marriage - the reason? I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes 3 years ago and have had Erectile Dysfiuntion ever since. None of the treatments have worked and although we were still intimate eventually my wife decided she wanted more and asked for a seperation. I have not had the mood swings...

    RHMLucky777

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    Mood swings, really?

     

    My wife is leaving me after 12 happy years of marriage - the reason? I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes 3 years ago and have had Erectile Dysfiuntion ever since. None of the treatments have worked and although we were still intimate eventually my wife decided she wanted more and asked for a seperation. I have not had the mood swings you guys are no about but I still have lost my wife and home.

    So much for marriage vows. My wife telling me that she knows if things were reversed that I would not leave her didn't help either. I'm crushed and currently not able to dust myself off and start again. Still love her, she was my world.

    Grant

    • rodriguez.karen1.kr
      Jan. 23, 2016
      I'm sorry that your wife left you. My husband and I have not been intimate for ten years because he ended up with erectile dysfunction. I admit it took some getting used to but we got through it. I'm sure there is some one out there that would be understanding of your situation. I pray that you don't let this or the diabetes get you do,an. God speed
  • Mlms24
    May. 18, 2014
    It's finally nice to know there are real non diabetics out there who share my pain!!! I've tried several threads where i tried to voice my opinion and frustration on the subject but was chastised because I wasn't diabetic and "didn't understand". My fiancé and I have been together for Three and a half years and it wasn't until last year that they diagnosed...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    It's finally nice to know there are real non diabetics out there who share my pain!!! I've tried several threads where i tried to voice my opinion and frustration on the subject but was chastised because I wasn't diabetic and "didn't understand". My fiancé and I have been together for Three and a half years and it wasn't until last year that they diagnosed him with diabetes. They weren't sure what type he was but, like your husband, he is insulin dependent. He is a completely different person. He's more cold and angry sometimes and doesn't realize it. He thinks I'm being silly but I'm not. He never used to raise his voice or tone at me. One of the things I loved about him was his patience but that is nowhere in sight lately. Sometimes I don't know what to do when he gets in these moods.
    • Anonymous
      Jun. 15, 2014
      This is going to sound awful but you must not marry him. I have lived with a diabetic for 25 years and it gets harder and harder every year. They suck the life out of you to the point you question your sanity. The temper gets worse, the insults become crueler, forget about having any normal loving relationship. Add kids to the mix and you end up staying to...
      RHMLucky777
      Read More
      This is going to sound awful but you must not marry him. I have lived with a diabetic for 25 years and it gets harder and harder every year. They suck the life out of you to the point you question your sanity. The temper gets worse, the insults become crueler, forget about having any normal loving relationship. Add kids to the mix and you end up staying to protect them. Work becomes you safe zone where you can be with normal people that don't yell and scream at you. I love my husband buti I can't help him anymore. It feels like a prison sentence. I do most things by myself, peace is sacred to me now. You must think of yourself, be selfish and live your life for you and no one else. Good luck.
  • Anonymous
    Nicky
    May. 08, 2014
    I do sympathise with your regarding your husband. My sister-in-law Vanessa has type 2 diabetes, she's been diagnosed for a number of years with it, but recently hasn't been able to cope with it, she smokes too much and has been drinking far too much alcohol, finally she came to the point when she just decided to leave her husband after 7 years of a happy marriage,...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    I do sympathise with your regarding your husband. My sister-in-law Vanessa has type 2 diabetes, she's been diagnosed for a number of years with it, but recently hasn't been able to cope with it, she smokes too much and has been drinking far too much alcohol, finally she came to the point when she just decided to leave her husband after 7 years of a happy marriage, they had been together for 12 years and she has given it all up for nothing. It seems like she's just running away and not getting anywhere, she's now planning on moving up north for some reason. I think that it is very sad because she got on very well with my brother had the same interests as him (fishing and shooting), she's thrown it all away because of her diabetes. It's too late to go back to him he's found someone else. Vanessa had the chance to go back to her husband but she decided not too. People with diabetes, please get help with dealing with it. It's ruined Vanessa's life, don't make the same mistake as she has.
  • Anonymous
    VeronicaR
    Apr. 07, 2014
    Finally I found a place where people don't think I'm crazy. My husband was diagnosed with diabetes over 15 yrs ago. Let me tell you, it took many years for him to want to control his blood sugar and it was a living hell for me and my boys. I couldn't believe the things he would say to me to offend me. It got better when he realized he needed to change his lifestyle...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    Finally I found a place where people don't think I'm crazy. My husband was diagnosed with diabetes over 15 yrs ago. Let me tell you, it took many years for him to want to control his blood sugar and it was a living hell for me and my boys. I couldn't believe the things he would say to me to offend me. It got better when he realized he needed to change his lifestyle and things were good. But it's been about a year (and he's been on insulin for about the same time) that he started with his old ways of being so disgustingly offensive, it usually keeps me from going to work the next day (so much crying & lack of sleep). I'm going to have to go back to therapy because he refuses but I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I truly love this man but I wonder if he still loves me.
    • Gerbera
      Aug. 08, 2014
      I can relate to everything said here - it's a living he'll living with someone who has Diabetes ! My husband of 36 years has had Type 2 for 11 years now. There's no cure for this and it's getting worse. I'm ending the marriage as I cannot go on like this anymore. I'm sick of the mental verbal and emotional abuse ! It's scary at times and I've decided to call...
      RHMLucky777
      Read More
      I can relate to everything said here - it's a living he'll living with someone who has Diabetes ! My husband of 36 years has had Type 2 for 11 years now. There's no cure for this and it's getting worse. I'm ending the marriage as I cannot go on like this anymore. I'm sick of the mental verbal and emotional abuse ! It's scary at times and I've decided to call it quits before I become mental ! It's a hard road - no-one knows what you're going through except another person who is also living with a diabetic - it's hell on wheels ! Get out while you still can - I am ! At least the sane ones on this website can relate to all this that we're going through. Best of luck and God Bless xx
  • Anonymous
    reba
    Mar. 12, 2014

    I am so glad i found this thread.... I have recently remarried (1-1/2 years) to a wonderful man who has been a diabetic for 20+ years.   In the beginning I was able to look past some of the mood swings and explain them to stress / work.  I didn;t understand or know that his sugars could be related to it...  In the past few months he has other...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    I am so glad i found this thread.... I have recently remarried (1-1/2 years) to a wonderful man who has been a diabetic for 20+ years.   In the beginning I was able to look past some of the mood swings and explain them to stress / work.  I didn;t understand or know that his sugars could be related to it...  In the past few months he has other medical issues and they changed his whole course of treatment. (he is insulin dependent 4 shots a day)  Since that change everything is so out of whack. Ever little difference turns into an ugly event with mean horrible things being said. I love the man I met but I don't know this person lately.  Eveything seems to get turned back around to what I did or didn;t do. I'm at a cross roads right now with what to do in my life... I can't keep living like this with someone who refuses to see that his diabetes could be affecting other systems... 

  • Trish
    Feb. 25, 2014

    Hi, I am a type 2 diabetic just recently being diagnosed 5 months ago.  My family has a history of diabetes, my Dad, Mum, 2 sisters and brother have it as well.  We are all taking the jab (insulin dependent) as I put it and everyone was surprised that I got it as I was the healthy one from our family.  I knew it was hard for my siblings and parents...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    Hi, I am a type 2 diabetic just recently being diagnosed 5 months ago.  My family has a history of diabetes, my Dad, Mum, 2 sisters and brother have it as well.  We are all taking the jab (insulin dependent) as I put it and everyone was surprised that I got it as I was the healthy one from our family.  I knew it was hard for my siblings and parents going through life with diabetes as I didnt like the mood swings or even watching them take their jabs, pills etc.  (2009 We lost our mum to renal failure)

    When I was diagnosed I suddenly felt what they were going through.  The frustration, the absolute frustration of trying to maintain our sugar levels, continuously having to prick our fingers, having to jab ourselves with insulin on a daily basis, taking pills, seeing the doctors, seeing the nurses, trying to eat right and going through the emotional part of it all. When I was diagnosed it was like the world failed me, I was angry at myself, angry at everyone but then I knew I had to do something to improve myself for my childrens sake.  It is hard, very hard because at times, I just want to break down for no reason at all and I dont even know why.  It is a lot of pressure on the family as a unit but I am glad my family keep supporting me everyday, especially my husband.  Without them, it would be a lot harder for me.  I have changed everything but yes, I still get angry because it seems everything is monitored now, I cant eat this, cant eat that, dont drink that blah blah blah, and it totally gets frustrating.  I know I have to stay healthy and eat right so I will have a better life but trying to maintain it on a daily basis can be so overwhelming.  

    I shut down, I blamed everyone and I shouldnt have.  I decided I had to make a choice so I felt that communicating with everyone when I get angry, irritated or feel down was a must for me to help everyone understand.  I tell my husband and children how I am feeling even if I am crying or yelling out how I am feeling.  It is hard seeing the sadness in their eyes when I know they are just trying to help me when I am in such a state. It hurts because I dont want to be like that at all.  If I need space I ask them to give me space, if I need a cuddle I ask for those too and that helps me a lot. Diabetes is hard but support from my family is the best medicine I could ask for.  They give me the strength to help me, so I have to give them the strength to carry on helping me by talking with them all the time.  I had to learn to open up more so that we could all understand each other more. Stay strong, please dont give up on us!!

    • Trish
      Feb. 25, 2014

      I had to change my mindset and accept that I have diabetes.  Don't get me wrong I still have my days but, I dont want to lose my family or let diabetes beat me even though I still have my down days.  Talking with the ones I love is definitely helping.  I asked my husband if he see's me shutting down to talk with me, take me in the room or outside...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      I had to change my mindset and accept that I have diabetes.  Don't get me wrong I still have my days but, I dont want to lose my family or let diabetes beat me even though I still have my down days.  Talking with the ones I love is definitely helping.  I asked my husband if he see's me shutting down to talk with me, take me in the room or outside and have a coffee or tea.  Sometimes, us diabetics just need a "shake up", so tell us how you are feeling too, tell us the strains you are facing by supporting us.  My husband did that and made me realise, gosh, they still love me even though I have this dum disease.

    • Anonymous
      rlinda89
      Mar. 01, 2014

      I have a gf who I love to death she's a diabetic type one to b exact.she's 30 years old and very negative about life and everything due to her illness.When we have problems it doesn't matter how  hard ad i try to talk to her calmly n nicely she pushes away she tells me the cruelest things she gives me the cold shoulder n as hard as I try to let it b n...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      I have a gf who I love to death she's a diabetic type one to b exact.she's 30 years old and very negative about life and everything due to her illness.When we have problems it doesn't matter how  hard ad i try to talk to her calmly n nicely she pushes away she tells me the cruelest things she gives me the cold shoulder n as hard as I try to let it b n not let it get to me it does is like knife to my heart.In my past relationships I got treated really unfairly and I told myself I would never let that happen to me. N Now I been the most patient and passive person because she's the way she is because of her illness...I kno she loves me but sometimes I feel like she doesn't try a tiny bit to get out of the darkness she's in she wants to give so much on life n I don't blame her u kno I go through the pain emotionally with but I'm always there to show her shes not alone...she has diabetic neuropathy so nerve damage in her legs n sometimes while she's sleeping she's kicking n twitching n I wake up n massage them while she's sleeping all the time I truly love her even though she broke up with me this morning I will always love her.

    • Trish
      Mar. 04, 2014

      im so sorry to hear that.  ive made a choice in my life to help my family to help me. i wish everyone could do that but unfortunately not everyone will. 

  • Anonymous
    Hermione
    Jan. 22, 2014

    My bf has type 1 diabetes...we are together almost 3 years and we have been walking on thin ice a couple of times and really often for the last 1.5 year... He is a great guy and i used to see myself in a future with him, but now, i am lost. He has given up diabetes..he doesnt accept any help from me, he wont even listen to me about diabetes, he is not calcuating...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    My bf has type 1 diabetes...we are together almost 3 years and we have been walking on thin ice a couple of times and really often for the last 1.5 year... He is a great guy and i used to see myself in a future with him, but now, i am lost. He has given up diabetes..he doesnt accept any help from me, he wont even listen to me about diabetes, he is not calcuating the units correctly and eats awfullw unhealthy.. He is like depressed and grumpy.. We are both medical students but i am the only one who actually acts like one, i am the one who actually study and pass the exams...I am really disappointed, i feel that i am trapped into this relationship..which is like a platonic one since sex is rare..and rare is too much to describe it..And that just is the tip of the iceberg..why? Bcs of his moodswings, his unwillingness to change things, to accept help..If i saw him trying in controlling his diabetes better and accepting help, i wouldnt feel that bad and but his attitude is plain negative..It kills me and i find myself imagining me without him, without anyone, just being alone, however i love him..i tired of booking his appointments, caring about the term test he should take, about the doctors, about everything! But unless i do it, noone will.

    • Diana S
      Jan. 24, 2014

      So tell me Hermione, you said you and your bf are greek right? you said on your reply to me that you did not have the problem of him being moody or agressive with you bc you have a very strong will (like me), so tell me what happened then now? why he changed with you too? bc before you said just with his family was like that... my ex is the other...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      So tell me Hermione, you said you and your bf are greek right? you said on your reply to me that you did not have the problem of him being moody or agressive with you bc you have a very strong will (like me), so tell me what happened then now? why he changed with you too? bc before you said just with his family was like that... my ex is the other way, with his family he is great, but with me he was agressive and disrespectfu (calling me names, yelling, cursing, etc), he is now out of my house, he moved out when i was at work and took things that supposed to be for the house, since he never help with the house bills or the mortgage payments, i thought when he bought them that was his way to contribute to living with me with his daugther... now i feel like he never cared about me, how someone that at one some point proposed me to get married, can just leave like a coward, like have no feelings, it made me feel like if I was just a one night stand, is this type of behavior part of the mood swings bc the diabetes?? should i wait to see if he comes back when he realized how mean that was?? I dont know what to do anymore, I am trying to move on with my life, even trying to meet new people but I am still in love with him... someone has any advise for me????

  • Diana S
    Jan. 16, 2014

    Wow!!! i am going through the same thing with my soon to be ex, i meet him like 3 months ago, it was like love at first site, he was so sweet and nice to me at first, him and his daughter moved in with me a week later after we meet, my son loved  him and I really loved his daughter right away when we meet, -he told me he is diabetic and uses insulin 2...

    RHMLucky777

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    Wow!!! i am going through the same thing with my soon to be ex, i meet him like 3 months ago, it was like love at first site, he was so sweet and nice to me at first, him and his daughter moved in with me a week later after we meet, my son loved  him and I really loved his daughter right away when we meet, -he told me he is diabetic and uses insulin 2 times a day-  he told me these during the time he was moving in but I didn’t think anything bad about it, everything was going good until he started to get angry over little things, like if I asked a question a couple times it was “too many times” for him, or over other little things, I starting to noticing some angry reactions like when he is driving and gets all mad and curses to the other drivers, also he started to make jokes to make fun of me like my accent (I am Mexican, he is Greek) but now after reading all these other comments from so many people i start to realize that his anger, mood swings, disrespectful comments, the cursing, and the yelling are related to his condition, sometimes i feel like I am going crazy because he turns everything around on me and blames me about his attitude, he says that I aggravating him for asking stupid questions, and now lately the situation is so tense that he even yells at me that he hates me and ask me to shut the fuck up because I am aggravating him… now he is moving out, but even after all this I still have feelings for him, now that I am reading that this is caused by being diabetic, is it  possible that if he takes care himself better, the mood swings go away? Is it possible that he can change if he looks for special help??? Please advise. Desperate Loving Girlfriend

    • Anonymous
      Hermione
      Jan. 22, 2014

      Being a Greek myself, i would advice you to give him some space and let him come back to you. Moving in that soon, didnt give you the chance to adjust to each other so probably that has played a role. 

      Having a bf with D type 1 i can tell that diabetes can cause moodswings that vary from angry offensive behavior, to depression and isolation..It depends...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Being a Greek myself, i would advice you to give him some space and let him come back to you. Moving in that soon, didnt give you the chance to adjust to each other so probably that has played a role. 

      Having a bf with D type 1 i can tell that diabetes can cause moodswings that vary from angry offensive behavior, to depression and isolation..It depends on the character of the person and the aura of the person(you) that they interact. My bf, who is also Greek, is the other end, depressive and gets really aggresive with his family but never me. I let him know that i cant accept him behaving me badly, and cursing or diminishing me at any way. People say though that as a person i am really strong and demanding, and i think if he felt i can take up on him behaving otherwise to me, like he behaves his parents, he would do so.l But that is how i am. Also, being a Greek, the driving thing shouldnt worry you that much, most o the Greek drivers have short temper while driving. You should never tell him that he makes you uncomfortable during driving, but afterwards, let him how you feel really calmly. 

      Give your reationship one more chance, by giving him space and the chance for him to come back. Make him appreciate you and understand how unacceptable being aggresive is. That is what i do..And that is how this is not our problem for us.

  • Anonymous
    countrygirl
    Dec. 26, 2013

    It is so encouraging to read the comments. My husband was diagnosed this past May. He has type 2. At first he really controlled his eating habits and the way he took charge of his health really impressed me. Now he is sliding back into the same old him. Not really watching what he eats. When I tell him to check his sugar he gets very angry. Challenging me as...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    It is so encouraging to read the comments. My husband was diagnosed this past May. He has type 2. At first he really controlled his eating habits and the way he took charge of his health really impressed me. Now he is sliding back into the same old him. Not really watching what he eats. When I tell him to check his sugar he gets very angry. Challenging me as if I have wronged him in some way. We have been married 19 years. Our children see him grumpy and always associate his moods with his diabetes. It is becoming a way of life for them that I didn't plan on. I feel defeated and saddened by the mood swings. He will go for days without talking to me. It is driving a wedge between us that he doesn't see. I am always the one to blame and he is faultless. It is quite frustrating.

    • Anonymous
      Bobbie
      Jan. 16, 2014

      Wow...this sounds just like what me and my husband are going through right now. It got so bad that I asked him to move out about 3 and a half months ago. We are trying to work on things now, but he is still not taking his medicine or watching his diet properly so I'm not sure if things will be better.

  • JessieG
    Dec. 08, 2013

    My boyfriend has type 1 diabetes, but I don't think of him as a diabetic person, problably because he has excellent control of his condition. But he is very emotional, and at many times becomes very irritable, ofended or angry over simple things. He has trouble letting things go! He can get defensive and hostile for days, being passive-agressive to me, and...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    My boyfriend has type 1 diabetes, but I don't think of him as a diabetic person, problably because he has excellent control of his condition. But he is very emotional, and at many times becomes very irritable, ofended or angry over simple things. He has trouble letting things go! He can get defensive and hostile for days, being passive-agressive to me, and overall judgemental and he says it's because he loves me too much. He's the same with his family. I don't know if this has anything to do with being a diabetic, but I too find myself walking on egg shells, and having not to speak my mind, so to avoid conflict. I love him so much but I feel he's only able to see my shortcomings. I'm not perfect but neither is he. He even suggested I should see a therapist, he believes I'm the problem. Can you belive him? I just want to know if I can blame this on the diabetes, he is such an amazing person, but he's hurting me.

    • Fedup35
      Jun. 17, 2015
      Leave him ASAP. He's just your boyfriend now? thank your lucky stars and get the he## out. I am speaking from experience. I have wasted the prime years of my life with a man just like that. Now, I'm in my mid 30's, he's impotent and an asshol## to boot. I've stayed and supported, loved, ...blah blah blah.. RUN.
  • Margie
    Nov. 23, 2013

    I happy to know that im not the only one out there with dealing with someome that has terrible mood swings due to diabetes. At one point I thought that my husband was just a mean person. But I find it funny that he is only mean to me. He sometimes talk in the third person as if im not there. But if his friends and family are around he talks...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    I happy to know that im not the only one out there with dealing with someome that has terrible mood swings due to diabetes. At one point I thought that my husband was just a mean person. But I find it funny that he is only mean to me. He sometimes talk in the third person as if im not there. But if his friends and family are around he talks to them as if nothing is wrong. I see it that diabetics can control their feelings and mood swings. They just take out their frustrations on the closet person to them. But their is only so much a person can handle before they lose it. It doesnt help either if they dont take care of themselves. At one point my husband was doing all the right stuff like excercising, eating healthy and checking his blood sugar. And he gave up!!!!

    Now he is on insulin and he is taking it like it is the end of the world!!! I understand that it is hard to live with but the for the most part Diabetes is controlable.

    • Anonymous
      sue0208
      Dec. 27, 2013

      "At one point I thought that my husband was just a mean person. But I find it funny that he is only mean to me. He sometimes talk in the third person as if im not there. But if his friends and family are around he talks to them as if nothing is wrong."

       

      You could have written that about my husband who has Type 2 but he does not control it or take his...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      "At one point I thought that my husband was just a mean person. But I find it funny that he is only mean to me. He sometimes talk in the third person as if im not there. But if his friends and family are around he talks to them as if nothing is wrong."

       

      You could have written that about my husband who has Type 2 but he does not control it or take his medication.  He is blaming all of his problems on me - is aggressive, sullen, and sees me as being totally unreasonable.  He has submerged himself in his work - and cut himself off from me and his son to the point I had to ask him to leave due to his physical abuse - which he has blamed on my being provocative.  When I said do you think this may be to do with your diabetes he just pushed it away and blamed it all on me - yet the problems, his behaviour and our problems have got progressively worse and I think does this have to do with his diabetes?  He has convinced me it hasn't, convinced me its me but reading this board well - but unless he takes responsibility for his condition, controls it and takes responsibility for what he has done nothing can change can it?

    • Anonymous
      sue0208
      Dec. 27, 2013

      "At one point I thought that my husband was just a mean person. But I find it funny that he is only mean to me. He sometimes talk in the third person as if im not there. But if his friends and family are around he talks to them as if nothing is wrong."

       

      You could have written that about my husband who has Type 2 but he does not control it or take his...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      "At one point I thought that my husband was just a mean person. But I find it funny that he is only mean to me. He sometimes talk in the third person as if im not there. But if his friends and family are around he talks to them as if nothing is wrong."

       

      You could have written that about my husband who has Type 2 but he does not control it or take his medication.  He is blaming all of his problems on me - is aggressive, sullen, and sees me as being totally unreasonable.  He has submerged himself in his work - and cut himself off from me and his son to the point I had to ask him to leave due to his physical abuse - which he has blamed on my being provocative.  When I said do you think this may be to do with your diabetes he just pushed it away and blamed it all on me - yet the problems, his behaviour and our problems have got progressively worse and I think does this have to do with his diabetes?  He has convinced me it hasn't, convinced me its me but reading this board well - but unless he takes responsibility for his condition, controls it and takes responsibility for what he has done nothing can change can it?

  • Margie
    Nov. 23, 2013

    I happy to know that im not the only one out there with dealing with someome that has terrible mood swings due to diabetes. At one point I thought that my husband was just a mean person. But I find it funny that he is only mean to me. He sometimes talk in the third person as if im not there. But if his friends and family are around he talks...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    I happy to know that im not the only one out there with dealing with someome that has terrible mood swings due to diabetes. At one point I thought that my husband was just a mean person. But I find it funny that he is only mean to me. He sometimes talk in the third person as if im not there. But if his friends and family are around he talks to them as if nothing is wrong. I see it that diabetics can control their feelings and mood swings. They just take out their frustrations on the closet person to them. But their is only so much a person can handle before they lose it. It doesnt help either if they dont take care of themselves. At one point my husband was doing all the right stuff like excercising, eating healthy and checking his blood sugar. And he gave up!!!!

    Now he is on insulin and he is taking it like it is the end of the world!!! I understand that it is hard to live with but the for the most part Diabetes is controlable.

  • kerri_L_G
    Oct. 15, 2013

    I too really appreciate this thread. I have been married for 5 years now and it has been so much worse than I imagined. I think dating/engagement caused him to be always trying to impress, and now that we're married it has been just horrible.... probably because he also eats MUCH worse now, never exercises, and his blood sugar levels are out of control. I didn't...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    I too really appreciate this thread. I have been married for 5 years now and it has been so much worse than I imagined. I think dating/engagement caused him to be always trying to impress, and now that we're married it has been just horrible.... probably because he also eats MUCH worse now, never exercises, and his blood sugar levels are out of control. I didn't realize it would be so hard, that I would feel completely unloved, and always worried about what his mood will be. We have two kids, and the unpredictability is killing them too. My son who is old enough to see the mood swings always says daddy is mean... but daddy just doesn't get it other than to be defensive.

     

    I want to leave him, but how could I trust him to be with the children without me? I am so afraid for their safety, as he leaves needles out, and when his BS is really low he can't care for them. How do I handle that?! I am so lost and hate that my sweet babies are going through this.

    • Hortgirl
      Jul. 30, 2014
      I am in your situation. We have a 7 and 8 year old. My husband was diagnosed with D 6 months after we married and it has been so difficult being married to him. He doesn't take care of himself, is totally and irresponsible, and I just spent our family beach vacation in FL with him in ICU for 4 days for diabetic ketoacidosis. He is in total denial and blames...
      RHMLucky777
      Read More
      I am in your situation. We have a 7 and 8 year old. My husband was diagnosed with D 6 months after we married and it has been so difficult being married to him. He doesn't take care of himself, is totally and irresponsible, and I just spent our family beach vacation in FL with him in ICU for 4 days for diabetic ketoacidosis. He is in total denial and blames me, curses me in public and is very angry. Divorce doesn't seem like an option because I refuse to trust him with our children. Sad, confused, and frustrated.
  • Anonymous
    diabetic
    Aug. 13, 2013

    In our family I am the one with diabetes and those mood swings are no stranger to me. I try to be aware when they come on, but they are not always easy to stop. My best way to deal with them yet is to remove myself from the situation and do some vigorous exercise (jogging in my case). It helps me balance my sugar levels and get a clear head before things escalate....

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    In our family I am the one with diabetes and those mood swings are no stranger to me. I try to be aware when they come on, but they are not always easy to stop. My best way to deal with them yet is to remove myself from the situation and do some vigorous exercise (jogging in my case). It helps me balance my sugar levels and get a clear head before things escalate. I have an understanding husband, who typically does not fuel the situation and I have asked my young children to help me with code words such as "Please don't get angry," which really help me see what's about to happen. But my number 1 advice would be exercise as soon as possible to level off.

    • Sharon
      Mar. 22, 2014

      Hi, 

      Just wondering if you had and advice how to approach my diabetic husband about this subject? I definitely notice the mood swings in relation to highs and lows and try to help as much as I can but there's the times when it's gotten too far and he hasn't said anything, I haven't noticed, and he snaps.

      Afterwards I'm not sure if he remembers 100% or...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Hi, 

      Just wondering if you had and advice how to approach my diabetic husband about this subject? I definitely notice the mood swings in relation to highs and lows and try to help as much as I can but there's the times when it's gotten too far and he hasn't said anything, I haven't noticed, and he snaps.

      Afterwards I'm not sure if he remembers 100% or is just acting as if everything is ok but the hurts is still there for me. And we have a 2yr old. There's a fair amount I let go but sometimes it gets too much for me when it all adds up and it's hurtful. 

      Any advice and / or suggestions would be very appreciated. 

      :-)

  • paulcathcart
    May. 23, 2013

    20 years I've had this and not a single medical professional has understood a word of it.

     

    www.pngwd.com/home.html
    http://www.amazon.co.uk/-/e/B00CPKM0JC

    “For us diabetes amplifies everything; if you feel just-not-right then broken blood sugar will make it wrong, as alcohol does an alcoholic; every bone of contention, every pulse of ill will, slight...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    20 years I've had this and not a single medical professional has understood a word of it.

     

    www.pngwd.com/home.html
    http://www.amazon.co.uk/-/e/B00CPKM0JC

    “For us diabetes amplifies everything; if you feel just-not-right then broken blood sugar will make it wrong, as alcohol does an alcoholic; every bone of contention, every pulse of ill will, slight upset or lull, every wave of exhaustion and misunderstanding all amplified. Deformation of sadness, doubt, and dependency; symptoms lost in a bigger world, it leaves us wilting. We push on.”

    Paul Cathcart

  • Anonymous
    carlina
    May. 11, 2013

     I feel for your  children, but they're so lucky to have at least one parent who knows what's going on here!  My diabetic mother raged at us daily -- and randomly.  There was no telling who you'd come home from school to.   She would say the most vile, abusive things to us -- and I mean from the time I was very small.  But unlike...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

     I feel for your  children, but they're so lucky to have at least one parent who knows what's going on here!  My diabetic mother raged at us daily -- and randomly.  There was no telling who you'd come home from school to.   She would say the most vile, abusive things to us -- and I mean from the time I was very small.  But unlike you, my other parent would BLAME US for "upsetting HER".  Many years and as thousands of dollars of therapy later, I'm finally no longer a self-loathing mess.  Why, oh WHY isn't this aspect of the disease discussed more widely?

     

  • Anonymous
    Carrie
    Mar. 17, 2013

    I'm so happy I found this. I've been married for 15 years and my husband was diagnosed with diabetes 3 months ago. He had always been passionate and outspoken, but over the last year he became combative and extremely emotional. I just endured a 20 anger fest from him because our lunch guests said they'd be 30 minutes late. Slamming doors, yelling and going...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    I'm so happy I found this. I've been married for 15 years and my husband was diagnosed with diabetes 3 months ago. He had always been passionate and outspoken, but over the last year he became combative and extremely emotional. I just endured a 20 anger fest from him because our lunch guests said they'd be 30 minutes late. Slamming doors, yelling and going on and on about how disrespectful it is to be late. He's 6'7", 240 pounds and he was reading as a scary person. I canceled our lunch plans (to save my family from his downward spiral) and St in my room and cried. I feel so helpless. How do you rationalize the irrational? I have a 12 year old and a 14 year old and they notice this too. I feel like a prisoner to his disease.

  • ds
    ds
    Nov. 11, 2012

    I really did not know much aout the diebetic mood swing until now. My husband and I married barely a year ago. He is diagnosed with dibebtic and is on dialysis three times a week. His mood swing has been so terrible over the last weeks. He has suddenly shut down with no communication, left home and has filed for divorce for no reason. After reading...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    I really did not know much aout the diebetic mood swing until now. My husband and I married barely a year ago. He is diagnosed with dibebtic and is on dialysis three times a week. His mood swing has been so terrible over the last weeks. He has suddenly shut down with no communication, left home and has filed for divorce for no reason. After reading all of the comments I am not sure if this is part of his illness.

    • worwiz
      Sep. 08, 2014
      Maybe he loves you so much he does not want you to have to live with a man who is out of control. My wife just left and I am sad about that but also happy for her. I tried to control the mood swings but it is impossible. It will happen again and again, little things can do it like a bad dream, wrong food, thinking about something that makes you sad or excited....
      RHMLucky777
      Read More
      Maybe he loves you so much he does not want you to have to live with a man who is out of control. My wife just left and I am sad about that but also happy for her. I tried to control the mood swings but it is impossible. It will happen again and again, little things can do it like a bad dream, wrong food, thinking about something that makes you sad or excited. The moods are just uncontrollable and there is no medical treatment I know of.
  • Barbara
    May. 28, 2012
    Oh my god I am not alone in this arena of the diabetic's highs and lows. Embarrassing me in front of people. Spitting at me. Telling me to calm down when directing him if he is unaware of where he is driving or cutting off other cars. Anything I say or do is wrong. I play keep away from the monster. At 2 this morning he got up to check his blood sugar. It was...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    Oh my god I am not alone in this arena of the diabetic's highs and lows. Embarrassing me in front of people. Spitting at me. Telling me to calm down when directing him if he is unaware of where he is driving or cutting off other cars. Anything I say or do is wrong. I play keep away from the monster. At 2 this morning he got up to check his blood sugar. It was 66 this morning. NHL says I exercised and did not eat much. He will be 65 soon and has had the disease for over 20 years. We are married 40 years and maybe 15 to 20 were normal. This is not normal. I feel bad he is ill but living with his nasty disposition is no picnic. He will always blame me or make me out to be the worst in particular in front of others so he can appear superior or the good one. Passive aggressive at its finest. Now my bladder is falling out and he is unconcerned and I basically have to have surgery where I will not be able to lift for 12 weeks. I do the food shopping, laundry, still work full time for the benefits, basically run things. To divorce would mean to give up half the house and money I feel is mine too. I put up with a lot and make my own life by going out with friends. There is little more to say but living with this disease for the person who has it or the partner is a living hell.
  • Anonymous
    IMHO-Type 1
    Feb. 27, 2012

    I have read through  this entire thread, at some points with mouth wide open, not able to find a side to fall on, as I imagine all of these situations are different in so many ways. The only common factors be