Telling the Truth about diabetes

By amy mercer Thursday, October 11, 2007

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I just wrote an essay for skirt! magazine (www.skirtmag.com) on telling the truth about diabetes. In it, I talk about growing up and trying so hard to be just like everyone else and how the disease, being relatively invisible, made that mostly possible except when it came to mealtime...

I feel like it's only recently that I don't try to hide doing my shot in front of others or testing my blood sugar. I realized as I wrote the essay, that it really wasn't until I had my children and had to breastfeed in public that I thought, if I can do this, why can't I give my shot in public? I've only recently begun to bring my disease into conversations, only recently begun to not fear being judged for who I am. Is this a female thing? Do other people with diabetes share this secret, this feeling of living in the closet, this shame over who we are?

I've only recently begun to embrace my disease and a weight has been lifted. It feels good. Big Smile

Chronic Illness a taboo subject

Comments (5) | Add comment

AnnetteUK

10/12/07 12:57pm

I had not really ever thought of 'hiding' my diabetes.. it just .. was. I cannot ever remember thinking I wont say anything .. won't mention it .. I didn't volunteer telling people.. it just depended on the occasion..if a need to mention it came up ..like out to eat, I would say "I have to pop to the Loo to give myself an injection and/or later test my BG" I have never been ashamed of it .. that would have made me ashamed of me .. who I was .. am .. became. And good grief .. the things I ventured out to do .. I think the disease gave me courage .. if you can deal with this, then crikey, you can deal with anything .. I became a "dealer" and ..Deal, Kent. England is where I was born and raised!! How fitting . ~Annette the Deal-er~

amy mercer

10/12/07 2:00pm

Thats great Annette, I love to hear positive stories like yours!

Josef508

11/ 2/07 3:12pm

I wish I read your comment years ago!

Josef508

11/ 2/07 3:10pm

Hello Amy

My reasons may be a little different than your's. Mine was based in a fear of showing weakness. It's was more than just the caveman fear being left behind, or the alpha male having to fight of challenges to his power. It was based in life events where some people (mostly family) treat you like you're a little less than good enough. They all "mean well", but treat you like you're weak, and constantly hear "you can't ...".

The other side is guilt. The few diabetic education classes I've taken, all start with how much we diabetics cost the economy and drive up the cost of health care for all. I assume they are trying to motivate us into doing something, but after the first 15 minutes I feel like I am responsible for babies going to bed with out a bottle. And all because diabetes is ‘self inflicted" because I put sugar in my coffee (someone at work told me that one).

It wasn't until my wife pointed out that I've never considered people in wheelchairs as weak (we sponsor "sailing Access-ability" programs at the local sailing club). In fact I've considered them as stronger than most for having the courage and the tenacity to dominate their world even though it may take 10x the effort of those without a handicap.

It wasn't embracement, in my case it was fear, and guilt. But, after 25 years I learned that I need ignore them, and do what I need to do to control this disease rather it controlling me. And to do that I need to test, and take my meds, regardless of who else may be looking.

So congratulations to you for finding your courage to do the right thing with out shame.

Happy Friday!

amy mercer

11/ 2/07 6:27pm

This is beautiful! Thanks so much for writing. I wish you were a woman, I'm editing an anthology of personal essays written by women living with diabetes, your essay would be perfect! I think we all have reasons for keeping quiet about our personal differences and while I regret keeping quiet for so long, I am embracing how good it feels to speak up, to lend my voice to this disease!

Telling the Truth about diabetes

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