Which is the point.

The Potion-Control Diet

On the Potion Control Diet, you can eat a regular diet but you have to control your potion sizes. This diet is very difficult for certified witches to follow.

If you're not a witch, you have to watch your lotions as well as your potions. If you have notions that going through the motions of watching your potions and lotions will be a problem, you might want to try some other diet instead.

The Scottish Diet

You have to remember that this is not the Scotch Diet, which is a version of the Drinking Man's Diet.

On the Scottish Diet, you limit most foods, but you can eat all the haggis you want. You also have to perform the Highland Fling before every meal, which can make you just a wee bit unpopular with the waiters when you're in a crowded restaurant.

When you eat at home, you must wear a kilt and listen to bagpipe music during dinner. In this situation, diners often leave the table before they've had time to eat much, which of course reduces the caloric intake.

The Big Mac Diet

On the Big Mac diet, a Scotsman named Scrooge MacDonald, who weighs 250 pounds, monitors everything you eat. Most of MacDonald's weight is in his biceps, which is where he got the nickname Big Mac.

If you eat more calories than are prescribed on your eating plan, Big Mac boxes your ears if he's in a good mood, and knocks you out cold if he's not.

Being unconscious tends to reduce your food intake.