hi,

   my name is debb.  i am a type 2 diabetic, for about 4 years now.  dx'd june 9th 2004.  not only am i overweight, but it seems that type 2 diabetes runs in my family.  we have both overweight and regular weight family members.  all have gotten their diabetes after their 45th birthday.  so my doctor tells me it probably wouldn't have mattered if i had been thin or fat, i would still probably have gotten diabetes.  now my estranged husband, tells me that it's only because i'm overweight.  the reason he's estranged is because he has a phobia about illness.  he stuck it out the first two years and then found a new girlfriend and ran like h**l.  while he still lived here i couldn't check my sugar in front of him or take any medicine in front of him.  we have been married 34 years this last june 15th.  our whole marriage no one was allowed to be sick, except him of course.  if he had a cold he was the biggest baby on earth, but that was ok because he was really sick and not faking it like the rest of us did.  we have two children.  stephanie, 33 and stephen II, 29. 

  i'm of two minds about my husband.  i do love him, idiocincracy's and all, after all we have been married for 34 years.  but to go out and find someone to use to get himself out of our marriage because i got diabetes is to put it bluntly, assinine.  he has fought depression all our married life.  mild at first and then towards the end very bad.  he refuses to go see a doctor about it, because he has no intention of going on "mind altering drugs".  did i mention he's an idiot?  add that to mid life crisis and wolla.  total jerk.  but do i walk away from someone who is fighting an illness like he did me?  by the way the woman he left me for was a "black widow", for sport she breaks up marriages and when the divorce is final she dumps the guy.  well, there is no divorce and after 8 months of "waiting" she dumped him anyway and went on to the next guy.  he only lived with her for about 2 and a half months before she kicked him out because he wasn't getting the divorce fast enough.  in defense of him, it was my fault.  i wasn't about to walk away from my marriage because that little bimbo said so.  he tried everything he could think of to get divorced.  but in NY State he had no grounds.  he still doesn't.  it's up to me whether we get one or not.  and frankly, i don't want one.  for many reasons.  the biggest one is.  if i give him a divorce i have no insurance. 

   right now i don't have insurance, but that's becuase he changed jobs and we are waiting for the new cards to come in.  it's been a couple of months and being without insurance for just that long has shown me how bad it will be.  my lawyer told me that he can get a court order that he has to pay for insurance for me but it will be insurance other then his job insurance and frankly he can't afford it.  my husband tells me that i could get state covered insurance but it is still going to cost him more then he can afford.  i can no longer work because of nuropathy in my legs and feet, plus i have restless leg syndrome.  i can't walk for more then an hour and a half and i can't sit for more then the same amount of time.  of course my husband tells me it's not his fault i quit my job.  i didn't say it was, i said it was for health reason i had to quit.  i didn't do it to tick him off.  that was just a side bonus.  oops, did i say that?   but, the point is i can no longer work.  he needs to except that.  but again, that means that he feels he is responsible for me.  which as far as i'm concerned he is.