photo: Bellingham, WA (ag, '08)
Ever have one of those days where you gotta look extra hard to find the smiley spots? The silver lining? The joyful bits and bobs? Well today was that sorta day for me. My bloodsugars were wonky and two particularly bad lows really took me to my knees. It tested my patience and frustration levels and tuckered me out!
However, I found smiles and bright spots, even if some were hiding. Yes, nice things happened even though it felt like I just couldn't get it right. The more determined I was to reign things in, the wilder they got, especially in the diabetes-realm. My stress level has been high planning for my upcoming nuptials, and I've nearly lost sight of the joyful reason behind the stress...I'm getting married!
Did my bloodsugar crash while I was trying on wedding dresses? Yes. Did I still find the dress, "the" dress? Yes. Did I have to be vulnerable and ask for assistance for the low? Yes. Did I make it through? Yes. Did I have my mom or sister or best friend there at the fitting? No. Did I have someone there with me who was supportive and kind? Yes. Is the dress going to be the size I want it to be? No. Do I still look beautiful in it even though I'm not the size I want to be? Yes! Am I going to be wearing it while walking toward the man--and future--I love? Yes! And that's enough! Heck, that's everything!
In this moment my bloodsugar is 121 mg/dl and I'm enjoying a cup of coffee and especially grateful for:
- Going to bed and waking up with normal in-range bloodsugars!
- Having woken up to freshly fallen snow and all the trees in our yard and down the block wearing a fresh suit of soft snow (the cashmere of the natural) world
- My soon-to-be stepson having cleaned all the snow and ice off my car for me
- My dad and I bonding while working on wedding details
- Reconnecting with dear friends and loved ones in anticipation of the big day.
- Finding the dress! It is the one! I am so relieved and excited!
- The thoughtful and kind cards my niece and nephews made to celebrate my getting married--and the incredibly generous gifts my sister sent ("pre-wedding" gifts! Now that's a bonus!)
- My fiance going out in the snow and getting the fixings for chicken soup for dinner!
Not so bad after all! I just felt stressed. It felt like life wasn't cooperating. Many things just weren't going my way. I don't need to rehash them all there because I'm tired of focusing in on that. Truth is, I see now that just as many did go my way. I'm blessed and it's just a matter of choosing to focus on the good.
So much depends upon how we frame our experiences. How we choose to look at things, and what we decide to focus on! Today was not bad after all!
P.S. Every time I say that, I can hear my Taiwanese student and friend, Roger. He'd always joke with me in that goofy Taiwanese humor-kinda way. When I'd tell him his work or the day was "not bad," he'd counter by saying "But 'not bad' has bad in it!"
Roger makes a good point. Our words are important. How we say things and what we choose to include (and omit) matter. Today was not only "not bad," it was quite good! Productive. Sun-filled. Plus, I got to spend much of with two people whom I love very much. And I am very grateful for that...and for them!
What are you feeling grateful for today?